For a moment, Jiang Yitang felt a sting in her nose. She turned her head away, holding back the tears that threatened to spill.
Just like in her previous life, Xie Yuzhao had agreed to her request with ease.
In her past life at this time, Jiang Yitang had actually been half-doubting Xie Yuzhao's words. She always felt that he had agreed too readily—that it was merely a perfunctory response, not sincere. But later, Xie Yuzhao proved with his actions that he never went back on his word once he made a promise.
He was the only person in this world, aside from Concubine and Qing Su, who treated her well.
Yet when he later fell into misfortune, she had abandoned him out of fear for her own life, not even daring to go see him once.
Jiang Yitang couldn't quite define her feelings toward Xie Yuzhao. With great difficulty, she suppressed her emotions, took several deep breaths, and began unpacking the food from the container. There were three simple dishes, a soup, and a bowl of rice porridge—all of which had gone cold.
Before her, Xie Yuzhao lay with his eyes slightly closed, his breathing weak, as if he might lose consciousness at any moment.
The sight frightened Jiang Yitang. She was accustomed to seeing Xie Yuzhao dignified and respected by all, and had long forgotten that he had ever been in such a vulnerable state.
Not daring to delay or feed him cold food, she quickly said:
"Xie Yuzhao, don't fall asleep. I'll go heat the porridge and be back soon."
Without even glancing at the other dishes, she placed the rice porridge back into the food container. Before leaving, she repeatedly urged, "Xie Yuzhao, don't sleep. Wait for me to return."
Jiang Yitang ignored the oil-paper umbrella by the door and ran quickly. The place was quiet, and with the threat of smallpox, no one dared to approach.
When Jiang Yitang returned to Song'an Yuan, Qing Su and Dong'er both stared at her in shock:
"Miss, where have you been? Why are you in such a mess?!"
Qing Su instinctively asked, "Did you run into Second Miss again?"
Hearing this, Dong'er shrank back, not daring to speak recklessly.
Jiang Yitang didn't answer their questions. Seeing them about to approach, she immediately said, "Don't come near me!"
Qing Su and Dong'er both stopped, looking at her in confusion.
Jiang Yitang placed the food container far away on the ground and said hoarsely:
"Heat the rice porridge inside."
Dong'er stared at the container and suddenly realized something, her voice trembling: "M-Miss, did you go to Songrong Courtyard?"
Qing Su looked at Jiang Yitang in disbelief.
Jiang Yitang did not deny it.
Qing Su was frantic, blurting out without thinking: "Miss, have you lost your mind!"
"That's—"
Her voice abruptly cut off, but she quickly stepped forward to grab Jiang Yitang, ignoring her attempts to pull away, and spoke rapidly:
"This servant will fetch hot water. Miss, wash up quickly, and everything will be fine!"
Jiang Yitang grasped Qing Su's hand, interrupting her: "Qing Su, go heat the porridge."
Song'an Yuan suddenly fell silent.
Dong'er watched the scene quietly, while Qing Su furrowed her brows, on the verge of tears from frustration:
"Miss, are you still planning to go back?"
That was Songrong Courtyard, a place everyone in the estate avoided like the plague. Was her young lady a fool? Why insist on going there?
Jiang Yitang lowered her head gloomily.
Qing Su couldn't bear to see her like this. Having grown up alongside Jiang Yitang and having received kindness from Concubine Song in her youth, she regarded the young lady as her own younger sister—though it might be presumptuous to say so.
The young lady rarely insisted on anything.
If she was acting this way now, there must be a reason.
Qing Su stamped her foot in resignation and conceded:
"Miss, go wash up first and change into clean clothes. This servant will heat the porridge."
Only then did Jiang Yitang softly reply, "Alright."
Then, she turned to Dong'er and softly instructed:
"During this period, after you finish cleaning the courtyard, return to your room to rest. Do not approach the sleeping quarters."
Dong'er had initially been somewhat hesitant, but upon hearing these words, she felt an inexplicable sense of shame. She suddenly said, "Miss is blessed with great fortune and will surely be safe. This servant believes in you. I will take good care of the courtyard, and Miss can command me for anything you need."
Dong'er had been sold into the mansion at a young age and was assigned to Song'an Yuan, where her days were relaxed and peaceful. The young lady had always treated her kindly. Although she dared not go to Songrong Courtyard, she was willing to do whatever she could for the young lady.
Jiang Yitang fell silent.
Dong'er brought hot water, and Jiang Yitang took a warm bath, changed into clean clothes, and hurried to Songrong Courtyard with the warmed porridge and clean silk cloths.
She did not let Dong'er or Qing Su accompany her.
She wanted to gamble a way out for herself and saw no need to let others take risks alongside her.
No matter how quickly Jiang Yitang moved, by the time she returned to Songrong Courtyard, the sky had long since darkened, and the candle was nearly burnt out.
Jiang Yitang lit a new candle.
It was only July, and even with the rain, it didn't feel cold—instead, it was rather stuffy and warm.
However, Xie Yuzhao was infected with smallpox, requiring the doors and windows to be tightly shut. Moreover, he was covered with a thick cotton quilt.
Jiang Yitang set down the food box and approached quietly. When she saw Xie Yuzhao's condition, she couldn't bear to look and averted her gaze.
In her previous life, Jiang Yitang had never met Xie Yuzhao before this time, but she had heard of him. He was known for his dignified appearance, and even those who disliked him had to admit he possessed a refined and scholarly face, which had secretly captured the hearts of countless young women in Jingcheng.
Jiang Yitang had also seen Xie Yuzhao after his recovery. He bore a strong resemblance to the late Empress. It was said that when Sheng Shang was still the Crown Prince, he fell in love with the Empress at first sight and sought her hand in marriage. One could imagine the Empress's beauty and, by extension, Xie Yuzhao's appearance. His features were deep-set, and his skin was flawless and fair.
Jiang Yitang would always remember a scene she had once witnessed: Xie Yuzhao stood at the doorway of his study, backlit, his posture as straight as a pine tree, like a piece of cold jade. When he slightly raised his eyes, his gaze was cool and sharp, making people instinctively avoid meeting his eyes.
But now, Xie Yuzhao lay in bed, his breathing weak, his face pale and colorless. Patches of red rashes covered his neck, extending continuously into his collar, making one afraid to imagine what lay beneath his clothes. The wrist exposed from his sleeve seemed to have developed pustules, a sight too painful to behold.
Seeing his eyes closed, Jiang Yitang's heart tightened. She rushed forward in panic:
"Xie Yuzhao!"
Only when the person on the bed slightly moved his eyelids did Jiang Yitang realize she had let her concern overwhelm her. She calmed down a little and lowered her voice:
"I brought warm porridge and hot water. Let me help you sit up."
Xie Yuzhao merely looked at her without speaking, but Jiang Yitang knew he had agreed.
Jiang Yitang knew she was actually quite slow-witted, but she didn't understand why she could always guess Xie Yuzhao's thoughts.
Sometimes, Jiang Yitang felt it wasn't that she guessed Xie Yuzhao's thoughts, but that Xie Yuzhao had never refused her.
After confirming that the doors and windows were securely closed, Jiang Yitang lifted the cotton quilt covering Xie Yuzhao and struggled to help him sit up. Once Xie Yuzhao was propped against the pillow, Jiang Yitang was exhausted, her cheeks flushed red. She panted slightly, trying to steady her breathing.
She had forgotten that she was only just over thirteen years old now, spending most of her days confined to the courtyard, with pitifully little strength.
Xie Yuzhao had studied the Six Arts since childhood, excelling in horsemanship and archery, and could even hold his own against two Imperial Guards. His physique was not something Jiang Yitang could simply support with ease.
Xie Yuzhao’s gaze swept over the girl’s face, noticing she wore no covering at all, and his eyes darkened slightly.
He wanted to say something, but suddenly his throat itched, and he broke into a violent coughing fit, his entire body trembling with the effort. Jiang Yitang jumped in fright, setting down the rice porridge and reaching out to pat his back repeatedly:
“Are you in a lot of pain?”
Xie Yuzhao didn’t answer her question, his voice weak and hoarse as he said, “Next time you come, cover your mouth and nose.”
Under his gaze, Jiang Yitang nodded blankly.
In truth, in her previous life, she had prepared before entering, but in this life, perhaps due to haste, she had forgotten.
Fortunately, Xie Yuzhao had reminded her.
Still, Jiang Yitang felt a bit puzzled—had Xie Yuzhao been this easy to talk to at this point in her previous life?
Jiang Yitang couldn’t remember clearly.
But she supposed it must have been similar.
Most of Jiang Yitang’s impressions of Xie Yuzhao were shaped by the kindness he had shown her in the later two years, so she couldn’t clearly recall how, at this time, Xie Yuzhao could even be described as somewhat gloomy.
Jiang Yitang fed him the rice porridge and then gave him a cup of warm water.
She didn’t return to Song’an Yuan. Instead, she tore a piece from the clean silk she had brought and covered her mouth and nose completely.
Throughout this process, Xie Yuzhao simply watched her quietly.
His gaze lingered on her uncovered brows and eyes.
Jiang Yitang didn’t notice this. She fetched a basin of warm water and sat by the bedside. When she lifted the silk quilt and reached to undo Xie Yuzhao’s sash, she suddenly paused.
She looked up hesitantly:
“I need to wipe your body.”
Xie Yuzhao lowered his eyes and remained silent.
Jiang Yitang understood—this was his silent consent for her to proceed.
Countless times in her heart, Jiang Yitang told herself that this was only to help Xie Yuzhao recover, but no matter how much she reassured herself, when she finally undid his sash, she couldn’t help but close her eyes.
Her eyelashes trembled slightly, as if a scorching heat had risen to her cheeks, flushing them crimson. Perhaps the room was too quiet, making her acutely aware of their breathing, and even her ears began to feel warm.
After all, she had once come so close to marrying the person before her.
But when Jiang Yitang opened her eyes, all those chaotic thoughts vanished. She stared blankly at the exposed chest before her, covered in bloody pus. The once pale, cool skin was now densely covered in red rashes, and not a single patch of healthy skin could be seen.
Jiang Yitang fell silent, the color draining rapidly from her face.
She suddenly remembered that the person she was facing now was not the dignified and revered Crown Prince Dianxia, but a patient afflicted with smallpox.
Jiang Yitang rinsed the silk cloth clean and, with trembling hands, began to clean away the bloody pus.
Even with a second chance, Jiang Yitang was still afraid. Though her past life’s experience told her that both she and Xie Yuzhao would ultimately be fine, at this moment, she remained fearful of infection.
Jiang Yitang finally realized that, whether she relived this or not, she would always be that coward afraid of death.
Biting her lip, Jiang Yitang suppressed the fear in her heart and carefully cleaned away the bloody pus. During the process, she heard Xie Yuzhao groan softly twice.
It was from the pain.
Jiang Yitang glanced up furtively. He hadn't closed his eyes; his gaze rested on her face. Apart from the veins bulging on his forehead from enduring the pain, his expression was so calm it seemed as if nothing were wrong.
Their eyes met, and Jiang Yitang immediately averted her gaze.
Once again, Jiang Yitang couldn't help but secretly admire Xie Yuzhao in her heart—he was incredibly resilient.
The basin of dirty water was changed twice. Jiang Yitang got up to light two more candles, brightening the room further. After cleaning away all the blood and pus, she washed her hands, over and over again.
Just as she was about to help Xie Yuzhao change into clean clothes, she looked up and saw that his eyes were closed.
Jiang Yitang jumped in fright, grabbing his wrist:
"Xie Yuzhao?!"
Xie Yuzhao trembled from the pain, slowly opening his eyes and whispering:
"…I'm here."
Jiang Yitang breathed a sigh of relief—as long as he wasn't dead.
She placed the clean clothes on the bed, lowered her head, and said softly:
"Don't fall asleep. I'll help you get dressed."
She spoke these words with difficulty. In her past life, it had taken her a long time to muster the courage to help Xie Yuzhao dress.
Xie Yuzhao's eyes flickered slightly as he asked:
"You'll help me?"
Jiang Yitang raised her head slightly and whispered, "Can you do it yourself?"
As she asked, her eyes suddenly brightened, standing out vividly in the dim room.
Xie Yuzhao replied calmly:
"No."
His voice alone sounded weak and feeble. Jiang Yitang's head drooped dejectedly.
With great effort, Jiang Yitang helped Xie Yuzhao change his clothes. The process was torture for both of them. Jiang Yitang struggled to support him, and in the process, she inevitably brushed against the pustules on his body from time to time.
Xie Yuzhao merely lowered his gaze without changing his expression, showing no sign of discomfort.
Exhausted and drenched in sweat, Jiang Yitang leaned against the table, panting. Xie Yuzhao watched her quietly before suddenly asking the question he had long wanted to ask:
"Aren't you disgusted?"
He didn't ask if she was afraid, but if she found him repulsive.
Because from Jiang Yitang's reactions, Xie Yuzhao could tell she had been afraid all along.
Jiang Yitang looked somewhat bewildered by his question.
Seeing her expression, Xie Yuzhao suddenly lowered his eyelids and whispered softly:
"Never mind."