A Name on the Honor Roll
Chu Mo had just swallowed a bowl of Chinese patent medicine. Its taste filled his mouth, and the bitter tang coating his tongue made him furrow his brow. His already-bright, watery eyes grew misty, and he became a little more alert.
After a night of feverish, fitful sleep, his fever had finally broken and his awareness returned. Once he could distinguish dream from reality, he understood: he had been reborn.
Chu Mo had been frail as a child. A bout of illness and the wrong medicine had left him deaf and mute. At five, he was kidnapped, then rescued and raised by Chu Yuechuan, who had also given him his name.
His memories of his past life ended at Chu Yuechuan’s funeral. After several sleepless days, he had fainted when the ceremony was over. When he woke again, time and place had changed, and new memories had appeared in his mind.
It was as if the course of his life had been rearranged, and he had lived another life altogether.
This time, he had been born more than ten years earlier. His name was still Chu Mo, and he still couldn’t hear or speak, but he had never been kidnapped. He had grown up with his birth parents until he was sixteen.
If it was only he who had changed, he could still see Chu Yuechuan.
According to his new memories, it was now 1975, and he was in the family housing block of Fengcheng No. 1 Steel Plant.
The room before him, its walls covered in newspaper and old award certificates, was one of the apartments assigned by the steel plant.
The other three people in the room were Chu Mo’s birth parents, Chu Jianshe and Qian Guixiang, and his older brother, Chu Zhigao.
The mood was bleak. Every face was clouded with worry.
“Zhigao, go register at the educated youth registration station in a bit. Today’s the last day. If you don’t go, they’ll issue a public criticism.” Chu Jianshe spoke to the young man crouched off to one side, picking vegetables. Chu Jianshe’s back was hunched, his expression weary and helpless.
The Chu family had two sons, but only one quota place for going to the countryside.
The younger son was too sickly to go, so it had to be the older one.
“Juanzi said if I go to the countryside, her mother will find her someone else and break us up. Is there really nothing you can do?” Chu Zhigao looked up at his parents. The dark circles under his eyes showed he hadn’t slept well.
“What can we do? It’s a fixed quota. Your little brother couldn’t manage a place like that. I’m sorry, son. Your mother and I haven’t been able to do right by you.” Qian Guixiang’s voice caught as she looked at Chu Zhigao, her heart aching for him.
Chu Zhigao lowered his head, his shoulders twitching slightly. He tossed the vegetables back into the basket, got to his feet, and strode out. His back was rigid, and he moved so quickly he looked furious.
The two left behind both sighed.
Chu Jianshe went out into the corridor with his hands behind his back to smoke.
“Hey, you forgot the papers!” Qian Guixiang saw the paper bag on the table. It held the household registration booklet, grain registration book, and other things he needed to bring when he signed up. She picked it up to chase after him, but someone tugged at her sleeve.
Qian Guixiang turned and saw her younger son.
The young man had a delicate, handsome face and pale, fine skin that rarely saw the sun. His complexion was washed out from his recent illness, his lips nearly colorless, but none of it diminished his beauty. He had soft brows, round eyes, long lashes, and clear, luminous irises of a natural amber, like gemstones with a glow of their own.
Even though she saw her younger son every day, Qian Guixiang couldn’t help thinking how beautiful he was.
Until he was three, she had thought she must have done great good in a previous life to be blessed with such a lovely child.
It was a shame she hadn’t taken good enough care of him. He had been sickly and prone to trouble, and the worry had worn her down, body and soul.
These days, she often thought he had come into the world to collect a debt from her. When would she ever finish paying it?
“What are you going to do? I’ll take it.” Chu Mo watched Qian Guixiang and signed.
Chu Mo had attended a school for the deaf and mute in this life, and the rest of his family had learned a little sign language to make it easier to communicate.
“Are you feeling better?” Qian Guixiang signed back.
“Much better. I want to go for a walk.”
“All right. Your brother left without his things. Don’t rush. Take your time, and he’ll come back for them.”
After exchanging a few words, Chu Mo nodded, picked up the bag, and headed out.
Though autumn had only just begun, he was wearing a padded jacket and still felt a little cold.
Outside the door, the smell of Chu Jianshe’s cigarette mingled with the strong fragrance of osmanthus, wafting toward him. Chu Mo felt uncomfortable and was about to turn back when Qian Guixiang hurried out and wrapped a scarf around his neck.
The soft scarf covered Chu Mo’s bare neck. He stared at the gentle-eyed middle-aged woman in front of him, stunned for a few seconds.
“Thank you,” Chu Mo signed.
After wrapping the scarf around him, Qian Guixiang put a mask on him, then freed her hands to sign. “What are you thanking me for? You’ve only just recovered. Don’t catch a cold. And don’t forget your mask. The osmanthus is blooming these days, and you’re allergic, so don’t go near it.”
Chu Mo nodded.
Qian Guixiang said no more, only waving him on.
Chu Mo turned and continued along the long corridor of the tenement.
His body was still weak, his muscles sore and tender. He walked slowly, which gave him a better look at his surroundings.
Almost every household had a coal stove outside its door. Some were heating water, others cooking. The coal smoke mingled with the smell of everyone’s meals, creating a distinctive sense of everyday life.
With every step, everything felt a little more real to Chu Mo.
People spoke to him, and some even pressed food into his hands.
Their smiles were simple and kind. The scene felt both strange and familiar.
In his memories, the neighbors nearby had always looked out for him.
“That boy’s so handsome, all fair and delicate. Prettier than a girl. What a shame.”
“Ah, the Chu family’s really unlucky. Wouldn’t it be better if their healthy older boy could stay and get a job at the plant?”
“They’re strict about it now. Even a family with a good class background can only keep one at home. If your class background’s bad, everyone has to go to the countryside. What can you do?”
“He can’t hear or speak, and he’s always getting sick. He’s as fragile as a porcelain doll. What kind of job could he do? No work unit would take him. Does the Chu family plan to support him his whole life?”
People were gossiping about the Chu family. They knew Chu Mo couldn’t hear them, so they didn’t bother to speak more quietly.
They didn’t know that before his hearing had been treated in his past life, Chu Mo had learned to read lips. Watching their mouths move, he could make out more or less what they were saying.
It was much the same as what his parents had discussed at home.
Chu Mo was in poor health, and if he stayed home without finding a job, his parents would have to support him. Meanwhile, the Chu family’s older son could have stayed, gotten a steady factory job, and married. If he went to the countryside, all of that would be ruined.
Chu Mo went down the stairs and out of the tenement. Still wondering where the educated youth registration station was, he spotted a few lines of bold, enlarged slogans on a wall not far away. They were impossible to miss.
【Go to the mountains and countryside, transform the world】
【In the vast countryside, temper your revolutionary spirit; put down roots in the villages and never waver】
That was the educated youth registration station.
Chu Mo headed that way. Beneath an osmanthus tree at a nearby corner, he saw his older brother, Chu Zhigao, talking to a young woman with a long braid. They stood two or three meters apart.
The girl was crying as she said something. Chu Zhigao ran a hand over his close-cropped hair and lowered his head, looking helpless.
Chu Mo didn’t try to make out what they were saying. He kept walking.
At the registration station, he saw a notice posted on red paper in black ink: the educated youth honor roll, with the specific places each person was being sent.
Chu Mo scanned it. His expression shifted slightly as his gaze stopped on one line.
“Qinghe Commune, Maoyuan County.”
He and Chu Yuechuan had lived there for several years. Even after moving to the city, they had gone back once or twice every year.
Chu Yuechuan should still be farming there now.
Chu Mo stared at the line for several seconds, then went into the registration station.
A little over ten minutes later, Chu Mo came back out with a slightly larger kraft-paper folder in his hands.
He wandered around nearby, and then ran into Chu Zhigao, who had been looking for him.
Compared with Chu Mo’s fair, delicate looks, Chu Zhigao was dark-skinned, with thick brows and big eyes. He looked like their father, stood half a head taller than Chu Mo, and had a youthful energy about him.
“There you are! Mom said you were bringing me my things. Give them to me, quick. They’re about to close.” Chu Zhigao signed to him. He had managed to calm down, but his eyes were still red, and he looked anxious. He had been searching for Chu Mo for quite a while.
“Let’s go home first. There’s something I need to tell you.” Chu Mo tucked the folder under his arm and signed back.
“Signing up only takes a few minutes. What could be so important you have to tell me at home? If we wait any longer, it’ll be too late,” Chu Zhigao said, but Chu Mo had already started walking. Chu Zhigao could only hurry after him.
A few minutes later, Chu Mo and Chu Zhigao reached home.
Chu Mo took the papers out of the folder.
There was a certificate of honor for going to the mountains and countryside, designed like an award certificate, and a letter of introduction bearing a large red stamp. They had all been printed in advance, with Chu Mo’s name filled into the blank spaces.
Chu Mo remained calm. The three members of the Chu family stared in shock.
“What are you doing, child? We agreed your brother would go. It’s hard work there, you have to do farm labor. Look at those skinny arms and legs of yours. How are you supposed to manage? No one will be there to look after you. What will you do if you get sick? How will you survive?” Qian Guixiang burst into tears as she spoke.
Chu Zhigao, who had been so reluctant to go to the countryside, had finally gritted his teeth and made up his mind. Who could have guessed his little brother would sign up first?
“No! How can you go? I’ll switch it back to my name!” Chu Zhigao said urgently, reaching for the papers. Chu Mo put a hand over them and shook his head at him.
Chu Mo looked at his family. “It’s already been submitted. My name is on the honor roll. It’s set in stone, and it can’t be changed. This is the best way now.”
Going to the countryside would resolve the conflict at home, and it would give him a chance to find Chu Yuechuan. For Chu Mo, it was the best option.
Chu Zhigao had been completely unwilling to go, but his little brother had beaten him to it. Hearing Chu Mo’s words, he felt miserable and could not accept it. In a rush of blood to the head, he grabbed the papers and ran out anyway.
Chu Jianshe and Qian Guixiang hurried after him, hoping there might still be some way to change things.
Chu Mo watched them leave, his eyes shifting slightly.
He had been about the last person in the area to sign up. The staff had already started packing up by the time he finished.
Sure enough, before long the three of them returned, one after another, each with a different expression.
Qian Guixiang wiped away her tears. Chu Jianshe looked at his younger son, his expression complicated.
Because he couldn’t speak or hear, the younger son’s mental development had been delayed. Even as he grew older, he remained somewhat slow and timid, and rarely communicated with his family unless he had to.
Chu Jianshe felt a sense of responsibility for his younger son, but he didn’t really understand him.
He hadn’t expected the boy to sign up for the countryside on his own.
Now his eyes were clear. He looked as though he understood everything.
From a financial standpoint, sending the younger son while keeping the older one at home was indeed the best choice.
But with the younger son’s health, he would suffer terribly out there. He might not be able to endure it.
“It can’t be changed. What are we going to do? You have no idea how dangerous this is for you. They say the winter temperature there drops below zero. It’s terribly cold, the conditions are harsh, and you’ll have to do farm labor. You’ve always been afraid of the cold, and your skin is so sensitive. The slightest thing could make you sick. This isn’t a game! Once you go, coming back won’t be easy. What are we going to do? Why are you so foolish?” Qian Guixiang rushed over to Chu Mo, distraught. Tears ran down her worried face, making her look much older than usual.
The Chu family wasn’t particularly well-off, but they had always doted on their younger son.
They had no choice. His health was so delicate that the slightest lapse in care could make him sick.
At home, he hadn’t even been allowed to wash dishes or sweep. As long as he stayed healthy, that was the biggest help he could give them.
Qian Guixiang couldn’t bear to imagine what might happen to him in such a harsh place.
“Do you understand what this means?” Chu Jianshe asked, looking at Chu Mo.
Chu Zhigao clenched his fists, his whole body tense. He looked at Chu Mo, guilt written all over his face.
Seeing their expressions, Chu Mo was moved.
In both his past life and this one, he had been lucky. He had received so much, and people had loved and protected him.
Perhaps he had come back to repay them for all that love and care.
“Dad, I know. I’m not a child anymore. You’ve worked so hard to look after me all these years. I want to do something for the family too.”
“Mom, don’t cry. Help me pack, and put in plenty of warm clothes. Then I won’t be cold. If I can’t manage the work, I won’t push myself until I collapse. There are clinics and hospitals everywhere. Don’t listen to what people say. I’ll take care of myself and do my best not to get sick. If you’re worried I won’t get by, just give me some money and ration coupons. I won’t go hungry or freeze.”
Chu Mo looked at them all with a calm, reassuring expression. His eyes grew clearer and brighter, warm and confident.
Chu Mo had already signed up, and his name was on the honor roll. It couldn’t be changed. It was a done deal.
Prompted by Chu Mo’s words, Chu Jianshe patted Qian Guixiang and pointed toward the trunk.
Qian Guixiang wiped her eyes, unlocked the wooden trunk, and took out a small wooden box. From it, she pulled a handful of assorted bills and ration coupons.
“We can’t change it now. Instead of crying, we’d better get everything ready for the trip. Zhigao, we’ll give your brother all the money and coupons we’ve saved. You’ll have to earn your own from now on.” Chu Jianshe glanced at Chu Zhigao.
“Give it all to my little brother. Once I’m working, I’ll send him money and coupons too. I should’ve been the one to go in the first place…” Chu Zhigao said, looking at Chu Mo with worry and, more than anything, guilt.
If he hadn’t sulked and waited until the last day to sign up, then forgotten to bring his things, his little brother wouldn’t have signed up instead.
From now on, he’d send half his wages to his little brother!
Chu Zhigao made up his mind.
Chu Mo was leaving in two days. Chu Jianshe and Qian Guixiang did everything they could to get things ready for him, buying food, daily necessities, medicine, and more. They spent a lot of money.
Chu Mo hadn’t expected them to prepare so much just because he’d said a few words.
Chu Jianshe was a grade-four technician, earning more than fifty yuan a month. The family’s savings weren’t large, but they weren’t small either.
They gave Chu Mo some of it up front and planned to send more each month.
Chu Mo didn’t refuse. He needed to stay alive if he was going to find Chu Yuechuan.
He didn’t want to have to rely on Chu Yuechuan again in this life. He wanted to repay him and help him live well as soon as possible.
Chu Yuechuan was surely poor, stuck in the countryside. The money and supplies would help him get by until Chu Mo could start earning his own.
Word of Chu Mo going to the countryside soon spread through the housing block. Everyone who knew the family was astonished, and it became the talk of the building.
“They say he signed up on the sly. The Chu family has been crying for two days, and their eyes are all swollen. The boy doesn’t say much, but he understands everything. It’s heartbreaking.”
“Qinghe Commune, Maoyuan County? That place is so poor the birds don’t even shit there. I remember someone went before and came running back in less than six months. They hauled him back and publicly criticized him.”
“With the way the second Chu son’s health is, I don’t like his chances. He could end up dead out there. Who knows if he’ll ever come back?”
“Isn’t that the truth? There’s no other way. If the older son stays home, he can get a factory job, a steady income, and a wife. The younger one can’t do anything if he stays.”
Everyone had their own opinion, but they all thought Chu Mo had jumped into a pit of fire and done something foolish.
The Chu family’s relatives and their closer neighbors also brought gifts: gloves, scarves, clothes, shoes, snacks, and other things.
Chu Mo recorded them all in a little notebook so he could repay them when he had the means.
On the day he was due to leave, the girl with the long braid who had spoken with Chu Zhigao came by. She brought him a pair of padded shoes and five yuan.
“Take them. They’re from her.” Chu Zhigao pressed the things into Chu Mo’s hands.
“All right. They’re a gift from my sister-in-law, so I’ll accept them.” Chu Mo smiled.
Chu Zhigao’s face turned bright red.
Chu Mo went to the train station with several other children of steel-plant employees who had signed up. Chu Mo knew some of them and not others, but he paid them no mind.
Chu Jianshe and Chu Zhigao carried the luggage to be checked, while Chu Mo only carried a backpack.
There was too much for Chu Mo to carry, so Chu Jianshe had specially welded a little wheeled frame. They tied the luggage onto it so he could pull it and save his strength.
Some of the things he wouldn’t need right away would be mailed later.
Chu Mo boarded the northbound train. The three members of the Chu family stood outside the window to see him off.
Chu Jianshe kept a stern expression, but his eyes showed how worried and reluctant he was.
Qian Guixiang signed her reminders to him.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine,” Chu Mo signed back through the window.
The train started moving. The people outside grew smaller and smaller until they disappeared from sight.
Chu Mo exhaled and watched the scenery rush past. He pressed a hand to his chest.
Brother, I’m coming.