The anxiety and anticipation after her liberation accompanied her throughout the entire journey.
She walked with a spring in her step, completely unaware of the shock her telegram had caused the Xu family. The brothers and their parents sat for a long while without being able to articulate a single coherent thought. Finally, the youngest, Xu Yongze, couldn’t sit still any longer.
“Stop guessing, all of you. Since Taotao said she’s coming back, whatever it is, we can ask her when she arrives. Or are you saying that after she’s been gone for a few years, you no longer recognize this granddaughter?”
His response was an old cloth shoe hurled at him by the grandfather.
“Shut your mouth! She’s my only granddaughter—how could I not recognize her? I just can’t understand it. Back then, she insisted on taking the child away, and for years, she didn’t even send a single letter. Now, all of a sudden, she’s letting the child come back. Has the child suffered some kind of grievance?”
Worried, the grandfather picked up his long-stemmed tobacco pipe again, took a few puffs with a bada bada sound, then glanced at his well-behaved grandson beside him and let out a heavy sigh.
The grandmother, however, was more open-minded.
“Look at you! The child coming back is a good thing. I wasn’t at ease when she left. The outside world isn’t all that great, you know. Even if she remarries easily, with a child in tow, won’t it still be the child who suffers?”
“Alright, alright,” she said, starting to shoo everyone out. “Which day did she say she’d arrive? Hurry up and go to the station. Don’t make the child wait if the train arrives early. I’ll go tidy up Third Brother’s room. When he comes back, he can sleep on the Dakang with the rest of you.”
Over the past few years, as the children had grown up one after another and were able to earn Gongfen, the family’s circumstances had improved somewhat. They had added a few extra rooms in the courtyard. The unmarried boys all slept on one large Dakang, which wasn’t a big deal, but the only girl in the family still needed her own room.
The eldest, Xu Yongjiang, stood up as well.
“Alright, Mom, you stay home. I’ll have Cuilian come over to help you tidy up. Seventh Brother, you go with Changlin, Changshan, and Changsheng to the station. She said it would be in the next couple of days, so go early and wait. The rest of us still have to go back and water the fields. It hasn’t rained for months—the corn leaves are all curling up.”
The grandfather sighed again.
After several days of travel, on the morning of the fourth day, the train that had transferred through Beijing finally rumbled to a stop at the humble little train station of Changji Xiansheng. The uncles and nephews, who had been waiting for two days, rushed to the entrance in a flurry, staring intently at every person getting off the train.
As the crowd thinned, Xu Yongze grew anxious. He was about to push his way through the train door when he finally spotted a figure slowly emerging at the very end.
A floral-patterned blouse and overalls—not new, but clean. Xu Zhitao had deliberately washed up and changed into them just before arriving.
The moment Xu Yongze’s eyes met hers, tears welled up.
“Taotao, how… how did you get so thin?”
He was four years older than Xu Zhitao. One could say he had practically raised this niece himself. She used to have a bit of flesh on her, but after five years, her pale complexion and frail figure didn’t look good at all.
He instantly grew furious.
“Is this how Fourth Sister-in-law took care of you? You, you, you…”
He gestured with his hands. After all, with so many children in the family, he still had a rough idea of their sizes. As he compared, his nose tingled with emotion again.
“You silly girl, what’s going on? You’ve been in the big city for years—how come you haven’t grown taller?”
Xu Zhitao pursed her lips and smiled.
“Uncle, I haven’t hit my growth spurt yet.”
She was in a hurry to return precisely because Guo Hongying still felt uneasy, and her condition hadn’t improved much. During the past few days on the train, she hadn’t dared to make any big movements, fearing her wound might reopen. No wonder she looked so pale now.
The Changlin brothers exchanged glances, forcing smiles as they crowded around.
“Taotao, do you still recognize your brothers?”
Five years apart had changed their appearances somewhat, but they had shed much of their youthful innocence. Xu Zhitao greeted them obediently,
“Brother Changlin, Brother Changshan, Brother Changsheng, I’ve missed you all.”
Her words brought tears to their eyes once more.
Xu Yongze growled gruffly,
“So you missed them but not me, huh? Enough dawdling, hurry up and get on my back. The ox cart is over there. If you walk, it’ll be dark by the time we get there.”
“Uncle, my legs are numb. Let me walk for a bit.”
With injuries on her body, she didn’t want to be discovered now. She deftly changed the subject, handing over the small bag containing her documents.
“I shipped my things ahead of time. I wonder if they’ve arrived yet? There are several packages, Uncle. I can’t carry them all~~”
Her familiar soft, obedient, and dependent tone made the young man with his back to her speak roughly,
“Alright, alright, I’ll go ask at the luggage office. You always know how to boss me around!”
He snatched the bag and ran off. Only when he reached a corner out of sight did he burst into sobs. He knew this girl too well—he had clearly seen her wince earlier. It wasn’t numbness in her legs; it was pain! There must be something wrong with her body!
What kind of grievance had this child suffered, choosing to travel thousands of miles alone to return, even abandoning her own mother?
Changlin and the others exchanged glances. The lively Changshan spoke up first, pretending nothing was wrong.
“Several packages, huh? Then find a place to sit and wait. I’ll bring the ox cart over. Once Uncle comes back, we’ll pick you up.”
The remaining Changlin and Changsheng also pretended not to notice anything, flanking her on either side as they slowly walked out, chatting about everyday matters.
“Grandpa and Grandma were overjoyed when they heard you were coming back. As soon as they got the telegram, they chased us out, worried we might miss you.”
Xu Zhitao smiled too.
“So you’ve been out for two days?”
“Yeah, yeah. Grandma’s at home tidying up your room. Are you hungry? I saved up a few dollars to buy you some big buns from the Guoying Fandian.”
“No, I want to go home and eat Grandma’s cooking. I’ve been craving it for so long.”
“Alright, alright, you little glutton. You’ve always loved Grandma’s noodles since you were little.”
After retrieving the luggage, the ox cart slowly began its journey home. Xu Zhitao lay in the middle of the cart, gazing up at the vast, clear blue sky, feeling as if even the air was sweet.
Seeing she had fallen asleep, the others lowered their voices.
“Only Grandpa, Grandma, and the eldest and second brothers know about this, right? Changsheng, does your mom know?”
Back then, Zhang Zhaodi, the wife of the second son Xu Yonghe, was also pregnant. On the day Xu Zhitao was born, she and Guo Hongying somehow got into an argument. They ended up fighting, and there was bleeding. The result was that Guo Hongying gave birth to Xu Zhitao, while Zhang Zhaodi lost her child.
Moreover, Zhang Zhaodi suffered a massive hemorrhage, even having her uterus removed, and nearly didn’t survive.
Ever since then, Zhang Zhaodi had become somewhat deranged, often forgetting that she had lost her child. She frequently mistook Xu Zhitao for her own, sneaking her away countless times. Because of this, the two had argued and even fought many times.
After Guo Hongying gave birth to Chang’an, Zhang Zhaodi’s condition worsened even further. Sometimes she would hold Xu Zhitao all night without letting go, and other times she would suddenly push her away and run frantically through the village looking for someone.
It wasn’t until Guo Hongying divorced and left with Xu Zhitao that Zhang Zhaodi truly went into a frenzy upon learning the news, frightening all the half-grown children in the family. Only after exhausting herself did she finally collapse into unconsciousness.
When she woke up again two days later, the madness was gone, but it seemed she had completely forgotten about Xu Zhitao. Instead, she devoted herself wholeheartedly to helping the elderly woman care for Chang’an, and in the years since, she had never had another episode.
Even without much education, they could see that Zhang Zhaodi’s condition was linked to Taotao. It was like an unpredictable time bomb—no one knew when it might go off or whether it had truly been cured. This was no secret in Xujiaao and was also a source of concern for Xu Yongze.
Usually, they didn’t dare speak of it or bring it up. But now that Taotao had returned, the issue was forced into the open.
With a life hanging in the balance, and Fourth Sister-in-law undeniably involved, Taotao appeared innocent yet was undeniably her daughter. Looking back at the situation back then, it was clear that Taotao was closely tied to Zhang Zhaodi’s emotional fluctuations—especially during the five years Taotao was away from home, when Zhang Zhaodi never had another episode.
Whether her return after five years would trigger another episode was something no one could say for sure.
Both sides were family, and naturally, they didn’t want to see a confrontational situation arise.
“And besides, there’s also that matter…”