“The reason they had to cross the universe and track us down on that planet is because I installed a jammer at home a long time ago!”
“Unless those big dumb bastards suddenly learn how to build advanced technology, they’ll never find us there!”
“And as for them being polite, do you think everyone acts like your parents and sister, ready to start a fight the second they see someone?”
“In every Cthulhu Mythos story you’ve read, these creatures treat the outside world the way higher-dimensional beings look down on lower-dimensional ones.”
“Would you, Morty, seriously threaten an ant?”
“If you had to kill every ant you spoke to just because it might crawl up your nose someday and kill you, wouldn’t that get exhausting?”
“You could never wipe out every ant in the world!”
“And finally, all that crap about me pushing things along and setting up obstacles is ridiculous.
If I really wanted to do something, would I sit around watching you waste my time over and over?”
“Morty!
What’s my usual style?
Do I really need to spell it out for you again?”
Rick’s barrage of sarcasm and mockery made Morty’s face turn bright red.
While Morty was busy thinking he had read too much into things, Rick wiped a thin layer of cold sweat from his forehead.
That was close…
Way too close…
If he had not kept a straight face, Morty might have caught him slipping and dragged the truth right out of him.
Still, this was exactly why Rick had searched through the brainwaves of countless Mortys across the multiverse and selected this one in particular.
That level of vigilance made all the time he had spent developing Morty worthwhile.
Before, Rick had only thought the kid was somewhat clever.
But judging by what had just happened, he might have hit the damn jackpot.
Completely unaware that the devious old bastard was getting excited and had already begun revising his plans, Morty took a moment to calm down.
Then, wearing a slightly embarrassed expression, he shamelessly apologized to all the Great Old Ones present.
How could he have dared to question their dignity?
He had actually assumed they had submitted to Rick’s tyranny and allowed themselves to be worked like livestock.
What a terrible mistake.
Truly unforgivable.
Now that he thought about it, these beings possessed overwhelming power, yet still treated a tiny “ant” like him with such courtesy.
Morty was incredibly fortunate!
Thank you, everyone!
Thank you for showing me this much respect!
And if any of you big shots ever visit my universe…
Actually, please don’t.
Every single one of you is an unstoppable natural disaster.
As Cthulhu and the others listened to Morty’s overly formal apology, they glanced at Rick standing behind him.
They had thought they could finally drop the act, but Rick’s eyes were still signaling for them to keep going.
Cthulhu and the others felt so miserable they wanted to wrap their arms around their own three-hundred-meter-tall bodies and give themselves a comforting hug.
Cthulhu in particular felt like he had gotten completely screwed.
Not only had one of his tentacles been sliced off, but Rick had also tampered with the key to his resurrection.
Back at the beach, the two of them had spoken for less than a minute before Cthulhu started hinting that Rick should kill Azathoth and let him become the Supreme God.
But now, no matter how he looked at it, the whole thing was starting to seem unreliable.
The three sides each harbored their own private thoughts.
Once Morty finished apologizing, everyone let out a stiff, forced laugh.
The laughter sounded so painfully hollow that even the Deep Ones waiting outside the main hall could sense how helpless everyone inside felt.
It sounded like Cthulhu had just watched his partner run off with the Great Toad right in front of him.
After the awkward laughter finally died down, things appeared to return to normal.
To help with Morty’s plan to flush out the enemy, the group gathered around him and began offering all kinds of “excellent” advice.
Mostly useless crap about exploiting the object’s importance, seizing control of key points, securing the conditions for victory, and creating an advantage for the final battle…
While everyone crowded around Morty, Cthulhu quietly led Rick outside the hall.
He felt the situation was already dangerously close to spiraling completely out of control.
Did they really have to keep this up?
“Of course.
Why wouldn’t we?”
“You know Azathoth absolutely cannot be allowed to wake up.
The moment it does, this world is finished.”
“So you help me, and I help you.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
Rick’s confident argument left Cthulhu silent.
Honestly, ever since he had seen the universe beyond this place, he had completely lost interest in staying in this godforsaken world.
If he had a chance to leave, why would he remain here?
But would Rick actually let him?
As though he had read Cthulhu’s mind, Rick gave him a cold grin.
“You want out of this world?
Then it depends on how useful you make yourself from here on out!”
…
Meanwhile, inside the log cabin Rick, Morty, and the Cthulhu family had previously visited, a flash of green light appeared.
An R-style portal opened inside the cabin.
The five members of the Cthulhu family stepped through it, chatting and laughing.
The moment they arrived, however, they were stunned by the sight before them.
This…
This…
“My beautiful deerskin velvet rug!”
“My portrait!”
“And why the hell is the entire floor rotten?!”
After mourning the damage to their home, Cthulhu Jerry and the others immediately turned toward Cthulhu-Rick.
The trip to another world had been entirely his idea!
They had only been gone for roughly one day by the Cthulhu Dimension’s standards, yet someone had already trashed their home.
They had to find whoever did this!
“Calm down, calm down.
The AI was here guarding the place the entire time.
Even if the intruder destroyed it, I installed a security camera…
Where the hell is it?!”
Cthulhu-Rick had been perfectly calm until he realized that not only had the AI failed to respond, but the all-angle security camera he had installed separately had also been destroyed.
He walked outside the cabin.
The traces left behind by an explosion of compressed gunpowder suggested that the attacker was not from this world.
[Could it have been a Rick from another world?]
Cthulhu-Rick immediately headed for his warehouse.
It had originally been used to store carriages and miscellaneous junk, but he had long since converted it into an alchemy workshop.
Now, however, the only things left inside were a pile of disgusting Incubation Cocoons.
The longer Cthulhu-Rick stared at the mess, the angrier he became.
He pulled open the door leading down to the underground base.
What he saw made his expression change instantly.
A Cthulhu-Rick who had just emerged from an Incubation Cocoon stood there, staring at him with a vicious grin.
“Hello, Creator!
Bet you never expected me to get a physical body, did you?”
“You’re…
Fuck!
Die!”
Without another word, the two lunged at each other.
Within the cramped cabin, eight hundred and sixty-nine varieties of flashing lights and explosive effects erupted one after another.
On the rocks along the distant shoreline, the Deep One left behind to monitor the cabin saw that a fight had broken out.
It immediately dove beneath the surface.
But it was not heading toward R’lyeh…
It was swimming toward a modern submarine eight hundred meters below the horizon.