With guidance from the veterans of the Cthulhu Realm, Morty spent about fifteen minutes putting together a complete Cthulhu-style plan to stir the hornet’s nest.
Step one…
But plans had a way of falling apart.
Just as Morty was feeling pleased with everything he had learned, Rick approached with a grim expression.
He pulled out his portal gun, opened a portal, and announced that they were leaving.
“What the hell?
This is my adventure!
You’re the control freak having another episode, so go take it out on somebody else!”
“I’m not going back!”
“I’m going to solve this world’s problems!”
In an extremely rare turn of events, Rick actually admitted that he was a control freak.
“Morty, you’re right.
I am a control freak.
But this situation has gone way beyond what I expected.
We need to get out of here right now.”
“Cthulhu Rick is back…”
Morty froze.
“What are you talking about…?”
His expression remained stiff for several seconds.
Morty followed Rick’s reasoning to its natural conclusion, then worked backward and considered it from another angle.
If Rick was telling the truth, then this entire Cthulhu adventure had been a setup from the start.
But there were also one…
maybe two other possibilities.
Rick could simply be getting bored with the adventure and trying to drag Morty home.
Or maybe he was still screwing with him.
After all, the last time Rick had threatened to blow an entire world to pieces, he had put on a convincing act as some drunken, world-destroying demon lord.
Morty had genuinely thought they were about to kiss that world goodbye.
Then Rick had claimed the whole thing was just a test…
So which part of what Rick was saying now, if any, was actually true?
Before Morty could think it through any further, Rick fell back on his usual hard-ass approach.
“Goodbye, you worthless hacks who can’t even act!”
“Hope you all live to a hundred!”
Rick flipped off Cthulhu and the others, grabbed Morty, and hauled him toward the portal.
The sheer finality with which he walked away, cutting every last tie to this world, left the Great Old Ones completely dumbfounded.
That wasn’t the plan!
You promised to deal with the Elder Gods, the Outer Gods, and Azathoth!
That was the only reason we agreed to play along with this Dragon Quest-style adventure!
And now you just say goodbye and walk away?
That’s how much your word is worth?
Morty tried to resist, but against Rick’s overwhelming strength, he never stood a chance.
Rick dragged him straight through the portal and back to their front door.
One second, Morty had been in the main hall of a city buried beneath the deep sea.
The next, he was standing on a sunny suburban street filled with the scent of flowers.
Morty was pissed.
The anger and resentment rolling off him were so obvious that even a blind man could have felt them.
Rick acted like he noticed nothing and headed toward the garage.
“Rick!
You can’t just break your word like that!”
“I’m never going on another adventure with you again!”
Rick had only taken a few steps when he heard the threat.
He stopped, turned around without a trace of emotion, and fixed Morty with a cold stare that made his skin crawl.
Morty refused to back down.
No matter how terrifying Rick’s gaze was, he did not look away.
Instead, he stared right back, using his anger as a shield against that icy glare.
A long moment passed.
Then Rick smiled.
“You want to go back, don’t you?”
Morty nodded.
“Fine.
Then let me make this simple.”
“Right now, Cthulhu Rick is back in the Cthulhu Dimension, and agents of the Galactic Federation are already hiding beneath the ocean.”
“And your so-called adventure was a setup I arranged from the very beginning.
That solution you came up with for the child in Cthylla’s womb?
I’ve already got one.”
“So Cthulhu Rick coming back only doubles the difficulty at most.”
“But the Galactic Federation is the real problem.
It’s something even I can’t deal with.”
“So, you still want to go back?”
“And what exactly are you planning to do there?”
Morty’s expression stiffened.
What was he supposed to say?
That he did not give a damn whether the Cthulhu Dimension was destroyed and had only been looking for another way to increase his combat power so he could eventually escape from Rick?
Seeing that Morty had finally settled down, Rick shook his head and turned toward the garage.
Morty was trudging dejectedly toward the living room when Rick suddenly came back out.
He was holding a portal gun loaded with a small amount of Portal Fluid, which he handed to Morty.
“Look at that pathetic face.
You’re making me look like some heartless grandpa who stole his grandson’s toy.
Since you like that world so much and want to solve its problems, here.”
“There’s enough energy in the gun for two portal jumps.”
“But I’m not going with you this time.
You’re on your own.”
The portal gun Morty had dreamed of owning was finally in his hands, with Rick nowhere near him.
And he had two chances to travel to other universes.
Morty immediately lit up.
Screw the Cthulhu Dimension!
He had two chances to visit other universes.
Like hell he was wasting them on potion tech!
He was going to…
Then he noticed the faint, knowing smile on Rick’s face.
Morty’s excitement vanished instantly.
For the past six months, he had treated Rick as little more than a stock character.
But after today’s adventure, even Morty had begun to notice how different this Rick was from the others.
The old bastard was running schemes inside schemes.
First, he took Morty to find the Mega Fruit.
Then Cthulhu crossed universes, setting the stage for the later adventure in the Cthulhu Dimension.
But the only real purpose of that adventure had been to crush Morty’s initiative…
Morty was supposed to stay by Rick’s side, play the useful tool, and stop getting ideas of his own.
Morty knew that sometimes he did not act the way a Morty was supposed to, but he could not keep everything bottled up forever.
If he slipped up, then so be it.
Rick had already started tearing down his confidence anyway, trying to teach him that Morty could never accomplish anything on his own.
“All right, what are you waiting for?”
Rick’s impatient voice snapped Morty out of his thoughts.
“Waiting?
I’m waiting for love to come knocking!”
Morty tossed out the reply, adjusted the digital control panel on top of the portal gun, selected a world he knew, and stepped through the portal.
Before it closed, Rick caught a glimpse of lush mountains and clear water on the other side.
He did nothing to stop Morty.
Instead, he headed back into the garage, eager to watch the show.
He retrieved a small mechanical box and connected it to the television in the living room.
Then he grabbed a pile of snacks and some alcohol.
Rick was ready to tune in.
[This Morty doesn’t seriously think I don’t know which world he wanted to visit first, does he?]
[Those ridiculous cultivation novels on the bookshelf…
He really does love screwing himself over.]
[But there’s no way I’m letting you get what you want.]