In the dead of a late winter night, the howling blizzard roared in her ears, mingled with the rhythmic flapping of the carriage curtains whipped by the wind.
Ji Hanyi squinted, her frozen, stiff fingers prying open the stiffened curtain. She gazed into the distance of the thick, snowy night. The sound of galloping hooves approaching through the wind and snow was faint, but she heard it nonetheless.
A soft, delicate voice came from behind her. “Sister-in-law, will my cousin come for us?”
Ji Hanyi lowered the curtain and did not answer, merely closing her eyes in exhaustion.
She knew he would come.
He would come regardless of how heavy the snow was.
She hadn’t wanted to accompany Li Mingrou to the hot spring villa today, but he had said, “Hanyi, you are Mingrou’s sister-in-law. She suffers from a cold ailment; you should look after her.”
His voice had been cold and indifferent when he said those words, arranging everything as if it were only natural.
However, on the return journey, the heavy snow had blocked the roads. A wheel had cracked, leaving their carriage stranded halfway.
The coachman had ridden back to deliver the news nearly two hours ago. He would be here soon.
The sound of hooves, alternating between distant and near, felt like frantic drumbeats in the snowy night. The closer they got, the more anxious they sounded, until a horse neighed loudly. From outside the carriage, a warm yet worried voice called out, “Mingrou.”
Immediately after, the curtain was lifted, and a slender, large hand reached inside.
Ji Hanyi looked down at that hand; clearly, it was not meant for her.
Beside her, Li Mingrou’s voice broke into a sob, weak and petulant. “Cousin, you’re finally here.”
Li Mingrou placed her soft fingers into that slender hand. Perhaps out of fear, her pink-clad figure fluttered toward him like a butterfly. Her thin sobs in the snowy night felt like a long, warm spring scene, drawing one in.
Ji Hanyi watched silently as those slender fingers paused momentarily on the back of the pink dress before pulling the girl into a tighter embrace.
Then, a thick fox-fur cloak was draped over those delicate, graceful shoulders.
Ji Hanyi looked away, turning her gaze toward the side curtain.
The curtain flapped in the snowy wind, and flakes of snow blew in, landing on her cheek. She could no longer feel the cold.
She simply tucked her stiff fingers deeper into her sleeves.
Li Mingrou cried in Xie Yuheng’s arms for a long time before she was finally soothed by the man’s gentle coaxing. Then, he carried her out of the carriage.
Ji Hanyi heard Li Mingrou’s voice from outside, still thick with sobs. “What about Sister-in-law?”
The man’s subsequent words were muffled by the wind and snow. Ji Hanyi didn’t hear them, but it didn’t seem to matter much.
She simply pulled her cloak tighter and silently watched the swaying glass lamp inside the carriage, which cast fragmented shadows over her.
Soon, the curtain was lifted again. A noble, refined, and distant face appeared before her, and he spoke his first words to her that night: “The carriage sent to fetch you was blocked by snowdrifts halfway and couldn’t proceed. I could only ride here ahead of it.”
“Mingrou has always been afraid of the cold, and this ordeal has frightened her. The horse can only carry one person, so I will take her back first.”
“Wait a little longer. The carriage will be here for you soon.”
Ji Hanyi nodded understandingly. She asked nothing, only saying, “Alright.”
The man’s face flickered in and out of the dim, swaying lamplight. He looked at Ji Hanyi’s calm expression, then saw her huddled figure and pale skin. He paused just as he was about to leave.
He looked at her again and offered an explanation: “I could only bring one fox-fur cloak with me. You are her sister-in-law; endure this bit of hardship for now.”
Ji Hanyi had heard many such words since marrying him, as if by marrying him, she was naturally destined to endure hardship.
Perhaps in the past, she would have questioned him right then: *Who exactly is your wife?*
But back then, Xie Yuheng would have certainly looked at her with an even colder gaze.
He wouldn’t argue or explain further; he would simply use that ice-pick-like gaze to cut her to the bone, making her feel like a senseless, hysterical madwoman.
The current Ji Hanyi was too exhausted even to question him. Questioning was useless; he still wouldn’t take her with him. As his wife, she had never been important in his heart.
Too tired to speak, she simply nodded. “Go quickly. Mingrou is still waiting for you on the horse.”
As she said this, Ji Hanyi saw Xie Yuheng’s brow furrow, and he looked at her with a complicated expression.
Ji Hanyi closed her eyes—not for any other reason, but because she had nothing left to say.
Xie Yuheng pursed his lips and said no more. He gave Ji Hanyi one last look and dropped the curtain.
The sound of hooves soon rose outside the carriage, then faded into the wind and snow.
The sad voice of her maid, Rong Chun, came from beside her. “Master left Madam here all alone… is he truly not worried?”
Ji Hanyi slowly leaned her body against Rong Chun. She rested her head on the girl’s shoulder, her eyes downcast as she watched the charcoal in the brazier at her feet dwindle to a few stray sparks.
After exhaling a breath of cold air, she actually began to like this desolation.
She quietly closed her eyes and whispered, “Rong Chun, I’m going to sleep for a while.”
The moment she closed her eyes, she saw herself from three years ago.
It was early autumn that year. She had waited a long time in front of the Xie residence until Xie Yuheng appeared.
Clutching their marriage certificate tightly in her hand, she had run toward him. Though her heart was racing with nerves, she forced herself to look up at him with feigned composure. “I am the daughter of the Ji family.”
“I came to ask you… is our betrothal still valid?”
She had just reached marriageable age then, and it was the only time in her life she had ever been so bold.
Her palms had been sweating with nerves, unsure of what outcome to expect.
At that time, her father had already been imprisoned and the Ji estate had been confiscated. When the tree falls, the monkeys scatter; the once-bustling Ji residence was left only with those who kicked them while they were down.
Although she and her mother had been shown mercy and were not implicated, they were staying with her maternal grandparents, whose family had already declined. Even if Xie Yuheng had reneged on the marriage, no one would have blamed him.
It was only human nature, after all; things were no longer what they once were.
Even Ji Hanyi herself had been prepared to tear up the marriage certificate on the spot if Xie Yuheng refused.
Because at that time, Xie Yuheng already had a small reputation in the capital. Having entered officialdom and achieved fame at a young age, he was a man as upright and elegant as the bright moon. Countless women from noble families in the capital dreamed of marrying him.
He was not lacking for better marriage prospects.
She had even been about to say that if he was unwilling, she would tear up the certificate and pretend it never existed, and she wouldn’t blame him.
But Xie Yuheng had agreed.
Ji Hanyi had forgotten what Xie Yuheng’s expression was back then. She only remembered his voice—gentle and slow, bringing her the warmth of charcoal in the snow during that cooling autumn day. He had said, “Since it is the command of our parents, the betrothal is naturally valid.”
“I will have my mother visit to discuss the wedding date shortly.”
At that time, Ji Hanyi thought she had found the perfect man for her life.
The man who was willing to provide help in her time of need, who would be as good to her as her father was to her mother.
She thought she had a home again.
It turned out that the “perfect man” she believed in had only married her to protect his own reputation. His heart had long belonged to someone else.
In the white winter, she turned around as if waking from a dream, only to meet a pair of disappointed eyes that haunted her late-night memories: *Look clearly. This is the husband you chose.*
Another bone-chilling gust of wind tore through the thick curtain, waking her from her dream.
Ji Hanyi suddenly opened her eyes and looked at the long-extinguished charcoal.
Her frozen fingers no longer had the strength to poke at them.
She remembered when she was fourteen and went to the prison to see her father for the last time. Her father had still held her hand with affection and said slowly, “Hanyi, don’t cry. There is no absolute right or wrong in this world, nor is there absolute good or bad.”
“It is like the ebb and flow of officialdom—ups and downs. The winner may not win forever, and the loser always has the hope of a resurgence.”
“Don’t harbor resentment, don’t linger on the past, and don’t hold onto obsessions.”
“Let go of the past, and always move forward.”
Ji Hanyi looked at the snow outside the curtain.
She suddenly realized that only by ending this marriage—which was perpetually stalled in a cold winter—could she do as her father said and move forward forever.