Her train of thought came to a brief halt.
It turned out Xie Yuheng truly no longer mattered; she didn’t even feel a twinge of sadness at such an interrogation.
The Xie Yuheng in her memory—the one as gentle as jade, the one who had once promised he didn’t care about her family’s decline and would still come to propose, the one outsiders called a refined gentleman—the last trace of warmth he held in her heart had finally dissipated.
She was lost in thought for only a moment before she heard Xie Yuheng’s low voice again: “Hanyi, you should learn from Mingrou how to maintain your composure.”
“Instead of being confined to the inner quarters, knowing nothing but how to be consumed by jealousy all day.”
Having said his piece, he turned and walked out again.
Ji Hanyi quietly watched Xie Yuheng’s retreating back, then calmly withdrew her gaze and picked up the book in her hand.
In the three years since she had married into the Xie family, she had dedicated herself to managing his household and arranging everything he needed so that he never had to worry about trivial matters. Even when her mother-in-law was occasionally harsh or difficult, she had never breathed a word of it to him.
As husband and wife, she considered herself to have been utterly devoted, yet all she received in return was a dismissal of her feelings as “jealousy.”
So be it. His heart had always been biased.
Rong Chun stood by Ji Hanyi’s side and whispered, “There have been misunderstandings between you and the Eldest Young Master these past few years. Why don’t I call him back so you can explain things to him, Young Madam?”
“That young miss from the Li family is so good at sowing discord. If this goes on, won’t you two only grow further apart?”
Ji Hanyi covered her mouth and coughed twice. Her eyes remained on her book as she shook her head. “There’s no need.”
She had explained before—explained a thousand times—but he never believed her. By now, this was like a banquet ruined by wind and snow; even if everything were explained clearly, the table would still be a mess, impossible to restore to its original state.
Whether he believed her or not was no longer important.
She also understood herself better now. If her heart had turned cold toward Xie Yuheng while she was out in the snow, that sudden flash of annoyance she felt just now had truly woken her up. Any affection she had for him as her husband had vanished like smoke.
***
When she woke up the next morning, Xie Yuheng was already in the room getting dressed.
Ji Hanyi glanced at him, then went to the washstand on the side to freshen up.
This was a common scene for them. Xie Yuheng rarely slept in her room; he was busy with official business, insisting on personally reviewing every case file to ensure a clear conscience, attending to every detail.
Sometimes when Xie Yuheng returned, Ji Hanyi wouldn’t even catch a glimpse of him. Only during the morning wash did they have a brief moment of overlap.
The only difference was that today, Ji Hanyi did not go to Xie Yuheng’s side to help him dress, scent his clothes, or hand him a warm towel as she usually did.
Xie Yuheng was soon ready. He had to brave the wind and snow for the early morning court session and always left first.
But today, as he reached the curtain, he paused and looked back at Ji Hanyi, who was sitting before the bronze mirror letting her maid comb her hair.
The winter sky brightened very late. The candles in the room were bright, casting shadows across Ji Hanyi’s form.
She sat very straight, her dark hair falling like a waterfall. her delicate features possessed the refined beauty of a woman from the south. A pair of emerald earrings swayed against her misty-purple shoulders, reflecting tiny glints of light.
Her petite and graceful figure appeared like a silhouette in the blue mist of a rainy day amidst the flickering candlelight.
When he first saw her, he had thought she was a broad-minded and magnanimous woman.
The room still smelled of medicine. Xie Yuheng suddenly spoke: “I heard the snow was heavy and the carriage couldn’t pick you up in time, leaving you stranded in the snow all night.”
Ji Hanyi looked at Xie Yuheng in slight surprise. Just as she was about to speak, another cough escaped her.
She covered her mouth and coughed a few times before looking back at him. Her voice was slightly raspy, but her expression remained steady. “It was nothing serious. I just waited a bit longer than usual.”
Xie Yuheng listened to that clearly suppressed cough and saw the handkerchief Ji Hanyi held to her lips; it was embroidered with a lifelike pink begonia.
He watched her quietly, a strange emotion welling up in his heart.
In the past, Ji Hanyi would always make an issue of things.
Whenever Li Mingrou was involved, she would nitpick over every tiny detail.
But this time, she seemed unusually quiet—so quiet she hadn’t even mentioned it.
Xie Yuheng pursed his lips, his voice softening slightly. “I didn’t consider things thoroughly this time. I’ll have the steward send you a bolt of Sichuan brocade later.”
Ji Hanyi froze for a moment when she heard “Sichuan brocade.”
So, Xie Yuheng still remembered that matter.
In her second year of marriage into the Xie household, Xie Yuheng had solved a long-standing cold case. The Emperor had bestowed rewards, which included two bolts of Sichuan brocade.
On the day the rewards arrived, the entire household was jubilant. She had sat among them, truly happy for him.
That day, in front of everyone, Xie Yuheng had sent one bolt to his mother.
While everyone else assumed the other bolt would go to her, Xie Yuheng gave it to Li Mingrou.
He offered no reason and didn’t even look at her.
That time, Ji Hanyi had asked him why.
But Xie Yuheng had only looked at her with faint impatience, as if she were being unreasonable. He refused to give even a perfunctory explanation before heading straight to his study.
Ji Hanyi opened her mouth; she actually wanted to say there was no need.
She had never truly cared about that bolt of silk.
What she cared about was why her husband never seemed to care about her feelings.
After that incident, even the servants in the Xie household had begun to look at her with traces of contempt.
They understood even more clearly then that she did not have Xie Yuheng’s favor.
She had done nothing wrong, but everyone followed the direction of the wind.
He was the heir of the Xie family; everyone else moved according to his every action and preference.
But before Ji Hanyi could say she didn’t want it, Xie Yuheng had already lifted the curtain and walked out.
He felt this was a great favor and compensation.
Ji Hanyi watched the swaying curtain and sighed. She turned back to the mirror, selected a plain jade hairpin, and tucked it into her hair.
***
The steward delivered the bolt of Sichuan brocade quickly that morning.
When he brought it, he offered a few smiling compliments: “The Eldest Young Master specifically ordered this before he left this morning. It’s a unique gift just for you, Young Madam.”
A “unique gift”—in reality, it was something everyone else who should have had it already possessed, and she was merely the last.
Being the last made it “unique.”
Ji Hanyi didn’t even glance at it. She had long since stopped caring about this brocade. She simply had Rong Chun accept it and take it to the storehouse.
In any case, she wouldn’t be taking this brocade with her after the divorce, nor would she use it.
She rested in her courtyard for two or three days. Her cold improved, and her cough only flared up a bit at night.
Xie Yuheng didn’t return during these two days. Word was he had a difficult case on his hands and stayed at the yamen all day.
Ji Hanyi wouldn’t have known this herself; it was a servant from her mother-in-law’s side who came to tell her, advising her not to wait up for the next few nights.
She was Xie Yuheng’s wife, yet she was always the last to know anything concerning him.
When he went out of the capital on official business, her name was never mentioned in the letters he sent home.