“What kind of intimate nickname is ‘little kitten’! This ship fan is doing sit-ups again”
“I thought they’d be fighting the moment they disagreed on anything”
“Guess this is a bit different from what I expected”
“Stop feeding the ship, stop feeding it”
Jiang Li looked left and right but couldn’t spot any baby kittens, only realizing afterward that “little kitten” referred to him.
He immediately thought of that photo of him in cat pajamas, his body suddenly burning hot.
Wasn’t this human supposed to not go online? How had he seen that photo!
Both embarrassed and furious, Jiang Li shook off Duan Zhihan’s hand, wanting to curse but holding back: “It’s none of your business whether I fall behind!”
Duan Zhihan raised an eyebrow, not sure what Jiang Li had against him, he’d even applied medicine for him last time, but faced with this bristling kitten, all he could do was coax him.
The boy strode off dragging his suitcase, and the comments actually breathed a sigh of relief.
“Now this is the scene I’m familiar with”
“Nearly scared me to death just now”
“This ship fan lies back down weakly again”
“Speaking of which, the other two pairs of guests don’t have this much tension, everyone’s treating it as a normal show”
The person who wrote that last comment quickly regretted it, because once the guests boarded the plane, the atmosphere fell into eerie silence.
The plane was the first place they all sat together, and to help the guests interact better, the production team had generously booked out first class.
The problem was that first class had two rows, four seats each, arranged in pairs facing each other, separated only by a small table.
It would’ve been fine if each pair had sat apart, but the production team had specifically arranged each divorced pair to sit facing each other, making the atmosphere unbearably awkward.
“Whoever came up with this arrangement is a genius”
“Staring eye-to-eye with your ex-spouse, awkward just thinking about it”
“Even An Zhiqing’s pair is too embarrassed to talk”
“Who the hell would feel like talking in this situation”
Finally, it was the talkative An Zhiqing who broke the silence, forcing himself to find a topic: “Since there’s a Class C destination, there must be A and B too, right!”
A long pause.
Xu Jiawen, a man of few words: “Yes.”
“Listening to you speak is like listening to… nothing”[1]a twist on the old saying that hearing a wise man’s words benefits you more than ten years of study (tīng jūn yīxí huà, shèng dú shí nián shū, 聽君一席話，勝讀十年書) … Continue reading jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_3145837_1_1').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_3145837_1_1', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });
“Hahahahaha this is so awkward”
“Just like me asking ‘how’s the weather today’ in English class”
“Might as well recite an entire listening test—’the shirt costs nine pounds fifteen pence, so you should choose B'”
Qi Hui looked at An Zhiqing with a half-smile. “Do you need me to praise you for being clever too?”
An Zhiqing turned his head away awkwardly.
Ruan Yan smiled and jumped in. “Brother An’s just joking.”
The next second, Xu Jiawen spoke. “You think everything’s a joke.”
Ruan Yan’s expression stiffened, unable to hold back the emotion in his voice: “I don’t understand what you mean by that.”
“There’s clearly more to that comment”
“Is this the drama-filled battlefield of divorce variety shows? I’m in love”
“Xu Jiawen’s family’s pretty wealthy, right? Ruan Yan’s just a small-time celebrity playing supporting roles in period dramas, seems like Xu Jiawen was the one who initiated the divorce”
“What did he mean, let me hear it”
Jiang Li, originally uncomfortable sitting across from Duan Zhihan, had noticed the man’s steady gaze constantly fixed on him.
He’d just wanted to escape quickly once they landed.
But now he suddenly felt he could sit a bit longer. The little robot quietly perked up his ears and inched his body toward Ruan Yan’s side.
Then inched a little more.
“Sure enough, everyone loves gossip”
“Feels just like me in front of my computer”
“Me in front of my computer just ordered fried chicken and I’m about to grab a can of coke from the fridge”
“Same here, but Jiang Li, your movements are way too obvious!”
Probably because his movement was so obvious, Ruan Yan redirected the topic toward him: “You and Teacher Duan seem to get along pretty well, so why did you divorce?”
The little robot, ears perked up, was caught red-handed, thinking to himself that he and Duan Zhihan didn’t get along well at all, could he just change careers on the spot?
Just as he was about to speak, Duan Zhihan calmly answered: “It was my fault.”
The real reason they’d divorced was because, while touching Jiang Li, he couldn’t help whispering “I love you” into Jiang Li’s right ear, and Jiang Li had lowered his head and said “how disgusting.”
Back then, his pride hadn’t allowed him to ask why, so he’d brought up divorce the very next day.
Ye Cheng, watching the screen, breathed a sigh of relief.
He couldn’t tell if Ruan Yan had done it on purpose or not, but Jiang Li had been dragged onto trending topics for this exact issue before, wasn’t this just fanning the flames back onto their Jiang Li?
Fortunately, Duan Zhihan had taken the topic on himself. If only Jiang Li could learn from him a little, he might actually win over some of the public’s goodwill.
Instead, the boy nodded and said, “Yeah, it was his fault.”
Ye Cheng: “…” He gave up all hope of cleaning up Jiang Li’s image.
Two hours later, they landed at Nanming Airport in the afternoon, and the guests boarded a bus to their destination.
The bus had plenty of seats, so no one had to sit face-to-face, which eased the awkward atmosphere from the plane.
Ruan Yan had filmed in Nanming before and volunteered to introduce the local culture: “Nanming is mainly known for noodle dishes, the mango dipping sauce is famous here, and there’s the largest rainforest in the country, with peaks reaching 2,400 meters.”
“Ruan Yan really knows his geography”
“I returned all my geography knowledge to my high school teacher already”
“Nanming’s mango dipping sauce really is delicious, not the soft sweet mangoes, but chopped green mango mixed into chili”
“Can’t wait to see them eat, eat, eat”
“Hearing you talk about it is making me hungry.” An Zhiqing pulled out snacks from his suitcase. “Anyone want something? I’ve got chocolate here, good for low blood sugar.”
“I’ll take a piece.” Duan Zhihan spoke up.
An Zhiqing hurriedly tossed him the whole box. Beside him, Ruan Yan chimed in: “I’ll treat everyone to dinner once we get off the bus, there’s a sour soup hot pot place that’s really good.”
“Looks like Yan Yan’s got dinner covered today.” Qi Hui smiled slightly.
An Zhiqing nodded obsequiously.
Everyone chatted animatedly, back and forth, while Jiang Li just sat by the window observing the scenery along the way, his skin pale.
Nanming had a typical tropical rainforest climate, with abundant rainfall and sunshine, an environment that easily caused machines to rust, extremely unfavorable to his survival.
The little robot wrapped his windbreaker tighter around himself. Suddenly, something hit him on the back, and he looked down.
Someone had tossed him a piece of chocolate.
When would humans ever understand that robots don’t need to eat?
Out of politeness, he picked up the chocolate and put it in his pocket, then went back to drinking his lemon water.
Recharging complete!
“Was Teacher Duan getting that chocolate for Jiang Li?”
“Not sure about that”
“Jiang Li still hasn’t eaten anything, huh, just water the whole way”
“Watching his weight, probably”
“Kind of concerning, honestly”
While talking, Ruan Yan’s peripheral vision kept drifting to Duan Zhihan.
Duan Zhihan would occasionally join the conversation, but his manner remained detached, making it hard to tell if he was genuinely interested or just being polite.
Ruan Yan probed carefully: “Is Teacher Duan going to that sour soup place too?”
Duan Zhihan looked over at him, and for a moment he felt as if he’d been seen through completely. The man’s lips curved slightly.
“Probably won’t get the chance.”
Ruan Yan froze for a second. Just as he was about to ask further, the bus came to a stop.
The destination wasn’t the urban area of Nanming he’d imagined, but a stretch of wild, untamed mountains.
Actually, “wild, untamed mountains” wasn’t quite right either, because the mountains were covered in dense forest, vines hanging everywhere, an almost blinding shade of green.
“Isn’t this a rainforest?” An Zhiqing looked stunned. “Why did they bring us here?”
Director Xia explained: “This is today’s destination. Hope everyone has a pleasant trip.”
An Zhiqing: “…”
“Redefining the word ‘pleasant'”
“An Zhiqing’s face has turned green with rage”
“Qi Hui is laughing”
“Ruan Yan doesn’t look too thrilled either, but Xu Jiawen looks happy”
“Hahahahahahaha this show has so much rich detail”
Ruan Yan really wasn’t happy at all. He’d promised on the bus to treat everyone to dinner, and this was the result???
Plus his stomach was growling. There were no tools and no ingredients here, surely they weren’t going to starve for two days.
Ruan Yan noticed Director Xia looked like he had something to say, probably about food and lodging for the next two days.
He eagerly turned his attention to Director Xia, only to hear: “We’ll need to confiscate your communication devices.”
An Zhiqing: “…”
Ruan Yan: “…”
Everyone was baffled by this sudden turn into wilderness survival, except Jiang Li, who asked in a strange tone, “Are only phones being confiscated?”
Director Xia nodded.
The boy looked somewhat disappointed, and there was a flash of something else too, a fleeting nervousness.
“What else would there be?”
“What else would they confiscate?”
“Now I’m really curious why he looked disappointed”
“Curious +1”
Besides the oddly behaving Jiang Li, and Duan Zhihan, who kept staring at him nonstop, the other guests were discussing how to eat.
“Anyone bring a lighter?” Qi Hui said. “Let’s find some firewood and start a fire.”
“I’ve got one.” Xu Jiawen pulled out a lighter.
“But there’s no pot,” Ruan Yan lamented. “Otherwise I could cook something.”
Duan Zhihan glanced around behind them. “Bamboo tubes will do.”
The remaining problem was finding food. Ruan Yan volunteered to take on this task, only managing to dig up some bamboo shoots.
“I thought he’d be OP but turns out he’s dead weight, isn’t there tons of food in the rainforest?”
“You still need to know how to identify it”
“Some things even the locals of Nanming can’t recognize, I definitely wouldn’t dare eat any mushrooms”
“Celebrities who’ve never done a lick of manual labor, digging up bamboo shoots is already impressive, though they’re a bit tough”
“Tough” was an understatement, they were far too old.
Even though Ruan Yan carefully sliced the bamboo shoots into thin strips, the shreds boiling in the bamboo tube showed no sign of ever softening.
Qi Hui pressed her hand against her stomach, seeming uncomfortable.
Jiang Li sat alone, sipping his lemon water, and happened to look up just as Qi Hui clutched her stomach.
He hadn’t originally planned to concern himself with this group of humans, but he couldn’t just watch and do nothing when it came to human women.
The little robot capped his water bottle and walked into the rainforest without a word.
Worried about sudden rain, he pulled up the hood of his windbreaker, wrapping his body up tightly.
He had a habit of documenting Earth’s species, his observation report had recorded tens of thousands of plants.
So finding food was an easy task for him, though the livestream viewers were completely baffled.
“What’s Jiang Li going to?”
“Is he going to find food?”
“Even Ruan Yan, who’s been to Nanming, only managed to dig up bamboo shoots, surely Jiang Li doesn’t think he can do better?”
“That would be overestimating himself”
Jiang Li carefully walked into the rainforest and immediately spotted an egg fruit tree.
Egg fruit had orange-yellow flesh, rich in starch, very effective at filling a human’s stomach, unfortunately, the tree was too tall.
He could only stand on his toes to pick two or three, tucking them into his backpack.
“What is that thing”
“Can you eat it”
“Egg fruit, it’s tasty”
“He actually found it”
“Probably just luck”
The comments didn’t believe Jiang Li could actually identify plants.
Jiang Li continued deeper into the rainforest and found some sweet wild fruit in a low shrub, gathering a handkerchief full.
Next, he found tree tomatoes, and in a mixed broadleaf forest, discovered black persimmons that tasted remarkably like chocolate.
As he found more and more food, filling his backpack to the brim, no one in the comments claimed it was just luck anymore.
“Holy shit, that’s amazing!”
“Wasn’t Jiang Li a school dropout who didn’t even finish high school? I’ve never even heard of half these plants”
“Maybe he has a talent for identifying plants?”
“Never expected Jiang Li to be hiding this kind of skill”
Once his backpack was full, Jiang Li headed back. He was used to doing things alone, and no one paid attention to his return.
He suddenly didn’t know how to announce that he’d found food, standing there in a daze, hugging his full bag.
Of course, the little robot didn’t think of it as being in a daze, he considered it “calculating.”
Just as he stood there at a loss, Duan Zhihan walked over. “Did you bring this back for us?”
Jiang Li didn’t know whether to nod, afraid the man would mock him, and was about to snap back defensively, but the man bent down and gently praised him. “Really impressive.”
The little robot’s ears suddenly felt a bit soft.
References[+]