Muscle Memory
Li Zhao sat down next to him with a piece of toast in hand, casually placing a piece of chocolate near Gu Jiahe.
“What’s this?” Gu Jiahe didn’t look closely.
“It’s buy one get one free,” Li Zhao’s tone remained flat.
Gu Jiahe stood up from his chair. “I’ll go get something to drink.”
He took two steps out and then turned back, asking Li Zhao, “Do you want something cold or hot?”
Before Li Zhao could respond, Gu Jiahe continued, “Ice mineral water, right?”
It slipped out naturally, so naturally that even Gu Jiahe himself hadn’t expected it.
Several years ago, Li Zhao used to play soccer frequently at school and only drank ice mineral water. Every time Gu Jiahe passed by the football field after class, he would buy him a bottle.
This seemed to have become Gu Jiahe’s muscle memory over the years.
He quickly turned away, not wanting Li Zhao to see his expression to avoid unnecessary complications.
He picked up a bottle of ice YiBao mineral water and bought himself a box of hot milk. He returned to his seat and pushed the mineral water towards Li Zhao.
“Thanks,” Li Zhao nodded lightly.
“No need,” Gu Jiahe waved his hand.
The conversation between the two returned to a normal social distance.
Gu Jiahe felt a bit awkward inside, especially since Li Zhao had helped him a lot during the day. He should say something instead of letting the atmosphere freeze here.
“Um, thanks for this afternoon,” he finally said, inserting the straw into the milk box and taking a sip.
“Thanks for what?” Li Zhao looked up at him.
“For the matter with that company. Without you, I wouldn’t have found the root of the problem. I’ll need your help for the negotiation later.”
“Taking people’s money and solving their problems. That’s my job.”
Li Zhao looked through the floor-to-ceiling glass window at the street outside and didn’t continue.
“In any case, thank you,” Gu Jiahe said, inserting the straw into the milk box again and taking another sip of hot milk.
Suddenly, Li Zhao turned his head and looked at his profile, saying nothing.
After a pause of about five seconds, Gu Jiahe felt his face heating up.
“What’s wrong?” Unable to resist, he glanced back at Li Zhao.
“Nothing, just reminded of some past events.” Li Zhao turned his head back without saying more.
“Are you doing fine now.” Gu Jiahe tried to keep the conversation going.
“Just so-so. Nothing’s changed.” Li Zhao unscrewed the cap of the mineral water bottle and took a sip.
“Is there a lot of work at the law firm?”
When work was mentioned, Li Zhao smoothly continued, “It’s been less busy these past two years. The interns help a lot with the paperwork. I used to be busier when I was a litigation lawyer.”
“Why did you stop doing litigation? Wasn’t your biggest dream to become a top litigation lawyer?” Gu Jiahe, now full from drinking the milk, turned to look at him.
“Some minor things happened. I switched to non-litigation work later on.” Li Zhao answered calmly, “Dreams are just dreams. They can’t always be realized.”
After saying that, he shook his head lightly.
Gu Jiahe didn’t press on with further questions. He had no intention of prying into Li Zhao’s privacy.
This was the first time they had talked about the past since they reunited.
Surprisingly, Gu Jiahe didn’t feel too bad.
Perhaps time really could dull many things.
“You passed the bar exam, didn’t you? Why didn’t you become a lawyer?” Li Zhao turned to ask him.
“I’m not cut out to be a lawyer.”
“How could that be? You scored three points higher than me on the subjective questions in the bar exam.”
Gu Jiahe was a bit surprised that Li Zhao still remembered such irrelevant details.
He shook his head, “I’m the type who can do well in exams but not in practice. I’m timid. You know that.”
After the atmosphere relaxed, Gu Jiahe rarely joked with Li Zhao.
But Li Zhao actually nodded, “Yeah, you’ve always been timid.”
They had once lived in the same cramped rental house, huddling together under the same blanket watching Japanese horror movies.
Gu Jiahe was always so scared that he kept cursing, then couldn’t resist burrowing behind Li Zhao’s back. In the end, it was Li Zhao who always held him until they finished watching the entire movie.
Now, these details resurfaced in Gu Jiahe’s mind, but they seemed like frames of a slideshow, distant as if they belonged to someone else’s life.
Through the floor-to-ceiling glass window in front of him, he glanced at the mirrored reflection of the two of them.
Between him and Li Zhao was a bottle of ice YiBao mineral water and a shriveled milk box.
And there was over six years of complete emptiness, with no interaction between them.
Even if Sadako crawled out from the other side of the glass right now, he had no reason to hide behind Li Zhao.
Thinking of this, his breath hitched, and he quickly stood up.
“Are you going back?” Li Zhao also stood up.
“Yeah.”
“I’ll give you a ride, it’s too late.” Li Zhao tonight was unexpectedly gentle. In Gu Jiahe’s eyes, he was almost the same as seven or eight years ago.
Li Zhao’s car was parked in the parking lot outside the convenience store.
Gu Jiahe got into the passenger seat again, and he glanced at the storage compartment on the car door. The pair of women’s sunglasses was still there, not taken away.
He quickly looked away and stared out the window.
Li Zhao started the car, turned on the radio, and the gentle voice of a female host on the nighttime channel came on.
“Welcome to FM101.1. Today, I bring you an old song. ‘About,’ from the album released in 2007.”
The prelude began, accompanied by the call of a cuckoo.
Li Zhao, who had been holding onto the steering wheel, suddenly reached over and pressed the switch button.
The radio quickly made a scratching sound as he searched for channels.
Gu Jiahe, interrupted while listening to the music, turned his head to look at him, wanting to ask why he turned it off. But he glanced at Li Zhao’s cold profile and swallowed his words.
He leaned back against the car window again, watching the birch trees outside pass by one by one.
It was a dull city, with strict management by urban administration, and there were no night markets within the inner ring road due to the ban on street vendors.
Every car seemed like a model in a LEGO set, firmly stuck on the track, shuttling between predetermined city roads at fixed times every day.
Gu Jiahe’s rental house wasn’t far from here, less than two intersections away.
“Just drop me off here.” he pointed to the roadside outside the community.
But Li Zhao didn’t stop the car.
The gate of the old residential area was wide open, and Li Zhao drove straight to the building where Gu Jiahe lived.
Gu Jiahe opened the car door, ready to get out, but his phone slipped from his pants pocket and fell into the gap beside the seat.
He reached down to grab it, but couldn’t reach it after a couple of attempts. The phone fell on the side closer to Li Zhao’s driver’s seat, making it awkward for him to reach. If he reached further, his whole body would touch Li Zhao.
“I’ll do it,” Li Zhao pressed the seat adjustment button.
Then he leaned down and used his fingers to fumble around until he finally grabbed Gu Jiahe’s phone and handed it to him.
Li Zhao raised his head, still holding the phone in his hand, but his face was almost touching Gu Jiahe’s.
At that moment, Gu Jiahe dared not even breathe too heavily.
Li Zhao’s entire arm was almost against Gu Jiahe’s side. Skin touched skin, and body heat was instantly transmitted.
That familiar scent suddenly overwhelmed him.
Gu Jiahe froze, his heart beating violently at that moment.
“Your phone,” Li Zhao sat up straight and waved the phone in front of him.
“Oh, thanks.” Gu Jiahe reacted with a start and quickly took the phone.
He then got out of the car like a lost soul, forgetting to even turn on the lights in the corridor, and groped his way up the stairs in the dark.
Until he almost tripped on the last step. After stumbling, he slapped his cheek hard.
The stairs in this old attic were not poured according to standard construction, and the last step was a few centimeters higher than the others.
Gu Jiahe had lived here for two or three years, but he had forgotten to lift his leg a bit higher for the first time.
His heart was beating heavier and faster than on that rainy night when he vented his emotions.
Once, when they still lived together, Li Zhao liked to hug him suddenly, seizing the opportunity when Gu Jiahe got out of bed, he would wrap his arms around his waist tightly, burying his head in his chest.
Gu Jiahe had mocked him for being such a big guy, acting like a child.
At the moment Li Zhao bent down and raised his head earlier in the car, Gu Jiahe was forced to retrieve this memory. Until now, he was panting and squatting in front of his door, still unable to escape from this memory.
Thinking that he still had to spend the next six months with Li Zhao day and night, he felt even more depressed, even with a dull pain.
He thought he had already moved on.
Why was it like this?
“Young man, forgot your keys?”
Gu Jiahe’s thoughts were interrupted by a voice. The old lady next door had returned home, and seeing his condition, she quickly asked.
“Oh, no.” Gu Jiahe stood up with difficulty, took out his keys, and opened the door.
It must be because he was too tired from work. When a person is exhausted, their mental defenses are also easy to collapse. This is normal.
Gu Jiahe convinced himself.
He walked to the window, pushed open the flower glass window, and wanted to get some fresh air.
But he saw the gray Lexus still parked downstairs.
There was no one in the car, Li Zhao stood beside the car, rolling up his sleeves, revealing half of his forearm. The thin shirt was gently lifted by the evening breeze, and there was a faint sparkle on his fingertips. He was smoking.
Gu Jiahe had never felt his vision so sharp. He stood in front of the window, staring blankly for about half a minute, his mind completely blank.
And the next second, he saw Li Zhao who was still smoking lift his head and look directly at this window.
Gu Jiahe quickly stepped back, pulled the curtain shut.