Saira adjusted her grip on the little crustacean.
“You…named it?” Eagre asked slowly, his voice laced with horrified fascination.
“You gave a piece of future seafood a pet name?” “Of course I did!” Saira declared proudly, gently tapping Crabby’s tiny hard shell with her pinky finger.
“It builds a bond!
A terrible, one-sided bond where I promise to cook him with a little butter if I can ever figure out how to light a fire.
Right, Crabby?” Crabby clicked his claw aggressively in response.
“See?
He’s excited,” Saira said, nodding with total conviction.
Eagre closed his eyes, letting out a long, heavy sigh that sent little bubbles rippling across the surface of the water around his chest.
He rubbed the bridge of his nose with two webbed fingers, wondering for the hundredth time what ancient sin he had committed to be haunted by this specific human.
“That is not excitement,” Eagre muttered, opening his glowing eyes to glare at her.
“That is a creature expressing its absolute desire to pinch your nose off.
And if you attempt to cook him near my water, I will personally splash your fire out.” “You wouldn’t dare,” Saira gasped, clutching crabby defensively to her chest.
“Crabby and I are a package deal now!” Saira adjusted her grip on Crabby, lifting him right up to her ear as if he were a delicate, fine-porcelain receiver.
Click-click.Snap.
Saira’s eyes widened in dramatic, exaggerated shock.
She clapped her free hand over her mouth, letting out a loud, shuddering gasp that echoed across the quiet morning tide.
“No!
She didn’t!” Saira whispered scandalously to the crab, leaning her head closer to catch every imaginary syllable.”on the third reef?
In front of the entire coral colony?!” Click-click-click.
“Well, frankly, Crabby, I think you are far better off without her,” Saira said, nodding with deep, solemn empathy.
“A sea urchin with that kind of emotional baggage was only ever going to hold a rising star like you back anyway.” Eagre, who had been on the absolute verge of submerging back below the waves to escape her madness, froze completely.
He stared at her from over the sharp ridge of the coastal boulder, his mouth hovering slightly open as he watched a human woman-covered in campfire soot, salt, and wet sand-conduct a full, highly emotionally heart-to-heart with a terrified ocean arthropod.
Snap.Click.
“Oh, absolutely,” Saira agreed smoothly, pacing along the shoreline like two high-society noblewoman strolling through a palace garden.
“I completely agree.
The blue ones are extremely snobbish.
Case in point-” She paused mid-stride, turning her head with agonizing slowness to cast a pointed, narrow-eyed glare directly at Eagre.
“-some of them do not even know how to dive for pink pearls.
Completely useless high-society types, if you ask me.” Click-click!
“Right?!
Thank you!” Saira laughed delightfully, patting Crabby’s tiny hard shell with her thumb.
“Finally, someone on this desolate island with some actual common sense and refined conversational skills!” Eagre’s iridecent fins flared violently, casting bright turquoise ripples across the pale surf.
He hauled himself further up onto the jagged rock, his luminous eyes practically bulging with indignation.
“He is not talking about pearls!
He is furiously clicking his pincers because he is in mortal terror!” Saira held up a stern finger to silence him, not even bothering to look at his direction.
“Excuse you, fish-boy, Crabby and I are having a private, intimate moment.
Don’t be jealous just because I found a marine companion who actually knows how to listen.” She giggled loudly, fanning her face dramatically with her free hand as she turned her back on him and began strolling further down the wet beach.
“Ohhhhhhhh, stopppppp itttttttt!” She squealed in a breathy, theatrical stage whisper.
“I’m not beautiful at all!
You’re just saying that because I have a great personality and a stunning sense of style!” Click-click.
Snap.
“Stop, you’re making me blush!” Saira cooed, taking dainty little steps through the tide, cradling the clicking, panicking crab like a prized lapdog.
“A seashell crown?
For me?
Oh, Crabby, you really shouldn’t have!
You’re such a thoughtful gentleman.” Eagre thrashed his giant tail against the water, creating a chaotic splash of foam that drenched the nearby rocks.
“He did NOT say that!” Eagre roared after her, his deep voice booming off the towering coastal cliffs.
“He is waving his claws because he want to puncture your carotid artery!
Come back and face me, you maddening human!” Saira didn’t even turn around.
She merely raised one dismissive hand over her shoulder, waving him off as if he were an annoying fly.
“Pay him no mind, Crabby,” Saira said, raising her voice so every word carried clearly over the sound of the crashing waves.
“Some creatures just cannot stand to see a girl thriving with her handsome new best friend.” Snap-snap-click!
“I know, right?” Saira ageed with a fake, dreamy sigh.
” So much dramatic, territorial energy for someone who essentially lives in a giant tide pool.” “I do NOT live in a tide pool!” Eagre shrieked, his voice cracking on the final word.
He caught himself instantly, his webbed ears turning a furious shade of neon-blue as he buried his face in his hands.
What was happening to him?
He was an ancient entity of the ocean abyss.
He had brought down trading galleons.
He had terrified generations of hardened marines.
Now he was screaming at a girl over a crustacean’s imaginary dialogue.
Saira finally reached the high-water mark near her growing pile of salvaged timber.
She carefully placed the coconut shell down on top of a flat, sun-warmed stone, and put Crabby inside.
Crabby wiggled frantically, but he remained completely stuck inside his round wooden fortress, his legs fanning the air.
“Now, you stay right there in your little helmet, Crabby.” Saira instructed sternly, tapping the coconut shell once more.
“I have a villa to build, and as my head architect, I expect you to supervise.” From his spot behind the boulder, Eagre stared at the trapped, doomed crustacean, then yelled across the shore, “you are keeping him hostage in a piece of fruit!
That is animal cruelty!” Saira turned around, wiping her dusty hands on her cloths, her sapphire eyes narrowing into dangerous slits.
“It is called temporary housing!
Which is more than I can say for your nonexistent hospitality.” She grabbed the far end of a massive oak beam and began dragging it through the heavy sand toward her campsite, while Crabby clicked helplessly from his stone pedestal.
Eagre rested his chin on his arms atop the cold boulder, watching her struggle with a piece of timber three times her size.
Her hair was a frizzy mess and her cloths were ruined.
She moved with the stubborn, unshakable energy of a localized hurricane.
He had an entire ocean to rule.
He had dark trenches to explore and deep-sea caverns waiting for him.
By every law of nature, he should have submerged and forgotten her.
Instead, Eagre stayed anchored to the shore, watching the strange, chaotic girl try to build a roof.