After sharing an intimate moment together, yet another wall that had been built up from the years they spent apart disappeared, closing the distance between them. Every glance, every movement was filled with mutual understanding. Even the air around them seemed to shimmer with rose-coloured bubbles.
Lin Xigu woke up beside She Xiao every day, his face the first thing he saw each morning. She Xiao would then accompany him to his office building and leave after he had gone upstairs. Sometimes, She Xiao would visit his mother, but he mostly spent the day walking around, learning the rhythm of the city and weaving himself back into a world five years newer than the one he had learned to inhabit. There was a university nearby and She Xiao would occasionally slip into random lectures to listen among the students. And once Lin Xigu was off the clock, She Xiao would meet him to go home together.
Outside of working hours, Lin Xigu was able to spend as much time with She Xiao as he wanted. It was the kind of life he had desperately wished for, even while asleep.
Before Lin Xigu got out of the car, he leaned over and kissed She Xiao, smiling as he said, “I’m off tomorrow since it’s Saturday. Even if they want me to do overtime, I’m not going.”
“It’s fine if you have to work,” She Xiao said.
“No way,” Lin Xigu shook his head. “Things are different now. I didn’t have much going on back then, so I just took on whatever I was asked. But I’m a busy person now.”
A faint smile tugged at She Xiao’s lips. “Busy with what?”
“Busy dating my boyfriend,” Lin Xigu said matter-of-factly.
She Xiao reached over and tugged his ear. Lin Xigu said goodbye and darted off.
The whole office was now well aware that Lin Xigu and his partner were cohabiting. Overtime had become a rare occurrence for Lin Xigu; if he had unfinished work, he’d rather take it home to work on.
“You don’t seem like someone who’s been in a relationship for as long as you say,” his coworker teased. “I’ve only been with my boyfriend for three years, and I’m already sick of looking at his mug.”
Lin Xigu smiled and didn’t elaborate. “We’ve been together for seven, eight years already.”
Technically, they haven’t been officially dating for quite that long, but Lin Xigu decided to move up the date of their anniversary to the moment She Xiao had kissed him at the ski resort. How could that not count—they’d kissed! That had to count for something!
He turned on his computer. There was a message in the team chat letting them know about an analysis task that needed to be completed that weekend to be made ready for Monday.
Lin Xigu closed out of the group chat without replying.
He then sent a private message to a coworker:
Ge, I can’t come in tomorrow. If you finish your summary this afternoon, can you send it to my email? I’ll take care of it tonight.
His coworker responded:
No problem, I’ll try to finish early and send it over.
Lin Xigu replied with a bowing emoji.
His dad had already invited them over for dinner that weekend, and on top of that, Lin Xigu had already arranged for Li Balei to visit. There was no way he was going to give up his weekend to do overtime. His overdiligent work ethic had previously enabled his colleagues’ bad habit of delegating any and all tasks to him. But now that his internship was nearly over, Lin Xigu didn’t feel bad about turning down work anymore.
That afternoon, Lin Xigu started on the analysis as soon as his coworker had sent him the case summary. By the time he finished, it was already an hour past quitting time. After uploading everything to their team’s shared folder and giving the others a heads-up, he grabbed his jacket and headed out.
When he got downstairs, She Xiao was already waiting for him in the car. These days, She Xiao held onto the car keys since they were always together anyway. Lin Xigu slid into the passenger seat and smiled sheepishly. “I didn’t think I’d be so late. If I’d known, I would’ve told you to meet me at home instead.”
She Xiao shook his head. “It’s okay.”
“Next time, I’ll text you if I have to work late. I don’t want you to have to wait around like this.” Lin Xigu paused, then added, “Let’s go out for dinner tonight, okay?”
“Okay,” She Xiao agreed without hesitation.
Lin Xigu still felt guilty about making She Xiao wait for so long, even after driving for a while, and he couldn’t help but apologize again. “I’m really sorry…”
Lin Xigu could tell She Xiao sounded a little upset and so turned his head to check on him, but She Xiao’s face had already reverted into an expressionless mask. Taking advantage of the red light, Lin Xigu reached out and grabbed She Xiao’s hand, shaking it gently.
She Xiao’s voice was low and heavy when he spoke again, “You waited for me for five years.”
There was no context for his words, but Lin Xigu understood immediately. Rubbing his knuckles, his chest tightened as the urge to cry fizzed up inside him and made his nose sting. He knew exactly what She Xiao meant.
You apologize for making me wait an hour, but I made you wait for five years—did I ever apologize? Between the two of us, do we even need to use words like “I’m sorry” anymore?
Chewing his lip, Lin Xigu whispered, “I misspoke.”
In the past, She Xiao would have simply shaken his head and dismissed it with a light “It’s nothing.” He’d always been reserved, used to burying his feelings in silence. But this time, She Xiao uttered a soft “Mn.”
Lin Xigu smiled. This change in She Xiao—this newfound willingness to express himself—felt so good.
He batted his wide eyes at She Xiao and asked, “Then what would you have me do instead? Should I… let you bite me to make it up to you?”
She Xiao chuckled, reaching out to lightly tug on his earlobe.
When the light turned green, Lin Xigu focused his attention back on driving. When they came up to the next red light, he leaned toward She Xiao, tilting his face up with a playful grin. “Come on then. Bite me. You get one free bite.”
She Xiao couldn’t help but laugh out loud in earnest. He reached out and lightly ran a finger along Lin Xigu’s cheek.
“What? Is my face not good enough for you?” Lin Xigu leaned closer, pushing his luck. “Then how about my lips? Go ahead, just one bite.”
She Xiao’s eyes glimmered with amusement as he leaned in, capturing Lin Xigu’s lower lip between his teeth for a gentle nibble. Before pulling away, he swept his tongue over the bite he’d left.
Licking his lips, Lin Xigu sat back in his seat, looking pleased with himself.
That evening, they went out for dinner before stopping at the supermarket, packing the trunk with groceries. Lin Xigu remembered the tangled mess of nerves and excitement he had been the last time he had shopped there. Now, he felt calm and he had She Xiao beside him. All it took was one glance for him to feel completely content.
Lin Xigu had no plans to sleep early since he didn’t have to work the next day. He had She Xiao lay in bed with him while he made conversation, catching him up on the latest updates in the lives of people they knew. But as the night wore on, Lin Xigu’s eyelids were the first to droop while She Xiao remained wide awake.
She Xiao covered Lin Xigu’s eyes with his hand, his palm radiating warmth, and pecked his lips, his voice a quiet murmur. “Sleep. We’ll talk more tomorrow.”
Lin Xigu hummed sleepily. “Mn… okay.”
“Do you want some water first?” She Xiao’s voice was a low, comforting rumble in his ear.
Lin Xigu shook his head slightly, his hand slipping over She Xiao’s. “No.”
She Xiao reached for the remote and turned off the lights before pulling Lin Xigu into his arms. He pressed a lingering kiss to Lin Xigu’s hair. “Goodnight.”
Lin Xigu knew he was being clingy, but he couldn’t help himself. The void She Xiao had left in his life was so vast that he felt he had to hold on as tightly as he could now that She Xiao was back. He feared that time and distance might have changed things between them, so his only reprieve was to constantly seek validation in She Xiao’s presence.
Originally, his plan for Saturday was to sleep in until ten, then spend the rest of the morning being unproductive in bed, but his plans went out the window when Li Balei—always full of surprises—showed up at their door at 7:30 in the morning.
The sound of knocking was what woke Lin Xigu. He opened his eyes groggily, and She Xiao stirred beside him. The room was still dim with the curtains drawn. Lin Xigu turned to She Xiao, “It’s fine, you stay in bed. I’ll get the door.”
He shuffled to the front door and opened it to find Li Balei already grinning from ear to ear. “Ha! Am I cool or what? What do you think? Quite the early worm, huh?”
Lin Xigu, still in his pajamas, felt a little exasperated at her level of energy. “It’s the weekend. Don’t you ever sleep in?”
“You’re still not fully awake yet?” Li Balei checked the time on her watch, her eyes widening. “It’s 7:30, you know that, right? Seven-thirty! And you’re still asleep at this hour?”
“Wow, look at you. That means your quality of sleep is improving,” she said, beaming at him. “Good job!”
Lin Xigu poured her a glass of fruit tea and set it on the coffee table. “I’m going to change. Just sit here and drink this.”
“Sure thing. I was mainly worried you’d sneak off to the office again if I didn’t come early enough,” Li Balei said, flopping onto the couch. “Always doing overtime. Wait—Lin Xigu, are you wearing actual pajamas? What happened to those old clothes of yours?”
Lin Xigu hadn’t worn proper pajamas in years. He was always dressed in the clothes that that person had left behind around the house—short sleeves and shorts in the summer, long-sleeved shirts and joggers in the winter. Li Balei had brought it up more than once, telling him he needed to stop trapping himself in the past, stop letting his memories hold him back. He would end up stuck in a mental spiral otherwise.
Lin Xigu glanced over his shoulder, “Don’t need to anymore.”
Li Balei blinked, caught off guard. “What do you mean?” she asked after a pause.
Lin Xigu just smiled in response and disappeared into the room to change, leaving her question unanswered.
For a moment, Li Balei thought maybe he’d finally had a breakthrough, that he was ready to move on and stop punishing himself. But the end was almost in sight. After all this time, was he really about to give up on everything?
Of course, she would support him no matter what, but still… giving up now felt like such a waste.
When Lin Xigu came back out, he was freshly washed and wearing his day clothes. “What do you want to eat?” he asked her.
“I’ll eat whatever you want to make,” Li Balei said.
Her eyes were still fixed on the bedroom door. The way Lin Xigu had deliberately pulled the door shut behind him had caught her attention. There was definitely something weird going on. Why had he closed the door? Was there someone else in his room?
“What are you hiding?” Li Balei whispered. “You aren’t actually going rogue, are you, Lin Xigu?”
Her expression was so serious that Lin Xigu couldn’t help but laugh. “How could I possibly ‘go rogue’?” he asked, amused.
“Don’t go picking up bad habits,” she warned, frowning. “Don’t be like those idiots who mess around with one-night stands and stuff. That’s not your style. You’re supposed to be the low-key rich kid, don’t go sleeping around.”
Lin Xigu nodded earnestly. “Don’t worry.”
Li Balei wanted to say something else but at that moment, the bedroom door suddenly opened. Li Balei’s heart started racing. F*ck me, there really was someone inside! Fury flared in her suddenly, along with the sinking realization that Lin Xigu had at long last caved to temptation. She had known Lin Xigu for so many years that she knew better than anyone what kind of person he was.
He would never catch feelings for someone else in such a short period of time, so the person in his room must be some sleazy one-night stand. Was he sleeping around because he was too distraught and couldn’t wait any longer?
She was rolling up her sleeves already. If the person who walked out was a no-good creep, she was going to whack the idiot Lin Xigu over the head with her bag.
A man stepped out from the bedroom. Li Balei’s scowl froze the second she saw his face.
Lin Xigu burst into laughter, thumping her on the shoulder. “Hot, right?”
Li Balei turned to look at him, a look of utter disbelief on her face.
“He came home last weekend,” Lin Xigu explained.
She Xiao nodded at Li Balei, which, for him, sufficed as a greeting.
Staring at She Xiao, Li Balei opened her mouth to speak, but as she looked from She Xiao to Lin Xigu, the tears spilled over before she could say anything.
She quickly wiped them away with her hands. The emotions had bubbled up so quickly that even she couldn’t stop them in time. But that was to be expected as a first reaction. After all, without having mentally prepared herself beforehand, she couldn’t possibly keep her emotions contained.
The tears weren’t for herself, but for Lin Xigu—that little idiot. After all, she was the only one who knew how hard the past few years had really been for him.