When Lin Xigu called his mom that night, he first cleared his throat, then announced with an air of mystery, “Ma, I want to show you something.”
“Go on then,” Ji Qiong answered.
Lin Xigu got up, still holding his phone, and walked into the living room where he took a seat on the couch. She Xiao looked at him and raised an eyebrow.
Lin Xigu inched closer and moved his hand from the camera to let She Xiao’s face come into view on the screen.
The movement was so fast that She Xiao didn’t have time to react. He blinked in puzzlement.
It was Lin Xigu’s first time seeing such an expression since She Xiao returned, and it reminded him of how She Xiao used to look whenever he was woken from a nap. His heart softening, Lin Xigu said to the phone, “Can you see? She Xiao’s here.”
His mom’s face also betrayed her shock as she was stunned into silence. After taking a moment to recover, she answered, smiling, “So She Xiao’s home? His release date got moved up? That’s wonderful…”
Looking into the camera, She Xiao greeted her, “Ayi.”
“Aye, it’s good to have you back.” Ji Qiong was genuinely happy to see him. She had shed many tears over the events of a few years ago and was of the mind that fate had been wickedly unfair. That boy had been through too much, and her own son had not had an easy time of it either. Looking She Xiao over, she said, “Very good, very good. You look well. I’m so pleased.”
She Xiao didn’t like to speak and didn’t know how to interact with others. Lin Xigu didn’t want him to feel put on the spot, so he turned the camera back on himself. Seeing that his mom’s eyes were welling with tears, Lin Xigu put on a huge grin to lighten the mood and joked, “What do you think? Handsome, right?”
“Extremely,” Ji Qiong said. “He’s a good-looking boy.”
Lin Xigu walked back into the bedroom with the phone to not get in the way of She Xiao watching his documentaries. Keeping his voice down, he spoke to his mom at length about She Xiao and their future plans.
“When my internship’s over, we’ll come stay with you for a while,” Lin Xigu said. “We’re both free now, after all. Next year, let’s say. We can figure out where we’ll want to study next year. I don’t want to apply anywhere local this time.”
“Why don’t you two just move here and call it a day? If you don’t want to stay with me, you can rent a flat. If location doesn’t matter to you either way, it’s honestly the best choice.” Ji Qiong blew her nose, answering him in an equally quiet voice. “I don’t think you’ll find any school in the country who will take him. Although even here… I fear the admissions offices might have questions. But all in good time.”
“Mn,” Lin Xigu said solemnly, bowing his head. “Let’s talk about it some other time.”
They chatted for another half an hour before Lin Xigu hung up and went into the living room in search of She Xiao. He didn’t find him on the couch, so he wandered into the kitchen where he found him cutting fruit.
Lin Xigu walked over, took a piece of pineapple from the plate, and popped it into his mouth with a smile. “It’s sweet,” he said.
He picked up another piece and offered it to She Xiao who ate it off his hand without a word.
“Sweet, right?” Lin Xigu asked.
“Mn,” She Xiao replied, piling the rest of the chopped pineapple onto the plate before rinsing the knife and returning it to the knife rack. “Sweet.”
Lin Xigu proactively rinsed the cutting board, then hung it up. Looking down with his eyes darting from side to side, he mumbled, “You know, I’m… pretty… sweet too.”
She Xiao didn’t respond. Lin Xigu, worried that his voice hadn’t been clear enough, glanced at She Xiao and repeated, “I’m pretty… sweet too…”
This time, She Xiao smiled. It was a small, gentle smile—the corners of his lips curving up—and very captivating.
Lin Xigu felt as though he was about to lose his mind. That one smile alone had him completely enchanted.
But despite the smile, She Xiao made no further advances.
Why wasn’t he getting the hint? Lin Xigu was starting to feel a little impatient.
How could two people in a relationship not kiss? He couldn’t care less if the kiss was passionate, enthusiastic, gentle, or slow—none of that mattered, as long as it was a proper kiss! Lin Xigu fidgeted with the upholstery on the couch while eating the rest of the pineapple.
She Xiao sat next to him, calmly watching as he finished eating. Lin Xigu couldn’t help but think, What are you staring at me for? Yes, the pineapple is sweet, but I’ve already eaten so much of it—don’t you think I’d be sweet too? Why don’t you have a taste and find out?
In the end, Lin Xigu couldn’t take it anymore. The restless little claws scratched at his heart until it created an itch he couldn’t ignore. He let out a long sigh, placed the fruit plate on the coffee table and turned to face She Xiao. He pointed at his mouth, but his face was already burning red before he could muster the courage to say anything.
She Xiao looked at him, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “What’s wrong?”
What’s wrong? You’re asking me ‘what’s wrong?’ Lin Xigu thought impatiently. He bit his lip and tilted his chin up.
“What’s wrong?” She Xiao asked again, with the same maddeningly calm smile.
Lin Xigu was on the verge of clenching his jaw in frustration. She Xiao, is your brain rusty? There’s a juicy young man sitting right in front of you, and you’re not going to take a bite? Is there no justice in the world? Glaring at She Xiao with his face tilted up expectantly, Lin Xigu closed his eyes, thinking, Even though I’m not some seventeen-year-old kid anymore, grown men in their twenties can still be embarrassed, you know!
He heard She Xiao chuckle, low and soft. Before he could open his eyes, he felt She Xiao’s hand slip around the back of his neck. His fingers, still cool from handing the fruit, brushed against Lin Xigu’s skin, making him instinctively hunch his shoulders at the cold touch.
Lin Xigu’s heartbeat quickened. Even with his eyes closed, he could sense the presence of a body blocking the light in front of him. Then, he felt the gentle kiss against his brow.
The kiss moved down to his eyelids, then the tip of his nose. His heartbeat spiralled out of control as She Xiao’s lips finally found his.
Unable to hold back, Lin Xigu flicked out his tongue to taste him, only for She Xiao to capture it between his lips. She Xiao’s teeth grazed his tongue lightly, pushing back with his own, the tips of their tongues coming together, both of them honey-sweet.
Lin Xigu’s lashes trembled; he didn’t open his eyes.
It was a kiss steeped in tenderness, neither forceful nor an act of conquest, but filled only with comforting affection.
Lin Xigu became hard almost instantly, a small tent forming in the fabric of his pajama pants. Blushing, he reached out to touch She Xiao, but She Xiao caught his hand to keep him from getting carried away.
Truthfully, Lin Xigu had only wanted a kiss at first and nothing else. He and She Xiao still needed time to get used to each other, to gradually rediscover how best to interact with each other and reestablish their bond. It needed to happen organically so that they could ease into it comfortably. It had taken days for them to even share a kiss; rushing into sex now would feel too fast, too forced.
Although their feelings for each other hadn’t changed, time had inevitably left its mark. Even a crystal ball left out in the sun would collect dust after five years. It would take patience and care to polish it back to its original brilliance.
So both of them stopped at the exact same moment with their noses pressed together, eyes locked and breathing heavily. Lin Xigu glanced down, stealing a peek. She Xiao was just like him—he was aroused too.
Lin Xigu pursed his lips, then smiled. “Don’t I taste… sweet?”
She Xiao brushed a kiss against his lips. “Mn.”
“You’re sweet too,” Lin Xigu murmured, lowering his gaze. “You’re the sweetest.”
She Xiao chuckled softly as his fingers trailed over the corner of Lin Xigu’s mouth.
Lin Xigu wasn’t sure if She Xiao shared his exact thoughts. It was true that he wasn’t ready to go all the way just yet—but here they were, both hard, both aching for each other. Their lover was right beside them, so what sense did it make to retreat to separate rooms and take care of it alone?
That was out of the question. It just didn’t make sense.
Shifting closer, Lin Xigu wrapped his arms around She Xiao, resting his face on his shoulder.
She Xiao leaned in and placed a kiss on his ear.
Lin Xigu trembled at the touch.
He buried his face in the crook of She Xiao’s neck, too shy to meet his gaze as he slid one hand hesitantly under She Xiao’s shirt. Hs fingers were shaking as they traced the lines of She Xiao’s waist and abdomen, his other arm clinging tightly to She Xiao’s shoulder. In actuality, he was so embarrassed, he felt like he might melt.
Lin Xigu looked so endearing like this.
Even though he was in his twenties now, he was still his baby boy.
She Xiao ruffled his hair gently, then squeezed the nape of his neck before catching Lin Xigu’s wandering hand and kissing his palm softly.
Lin Xigu pulled his legs onto the couch as he straddled She Xiao, trapping She Xiao between himself and the back of the couch. He arched his back, pressing his unrelenting arousal against She Xiao’s stomach.
She Xiao allowed him to squirm in his lap, his gaze filled with indulgent affection.
Lin Xigu clung to him with a small moan, “I’m hard…”
She Xiao’s arms tightened around him, one hand slipping down to give his ass a firm squeeze.
The touch nearly made Lin Xigu melt. His wide eyes shimmered as if brimming with unshed tears, bright and sparkling. “She Xiao, do you… want to do it? I’m okay with it if you do.”
She Xiao lifted Lin Xigu slightly, biting his chin.
That day, Lin Xigu found himself pinned beneath She Xiao on the couch, utterly cared for and thoroughly undone. His arms and legs felt boneless, as if they no longer belonged to him.
They didn’t go all the way—She Xiao was gentle, silent as always, yet every movement left Lin Xigu entranced. In the end, they both came in She Xiao’s hand with She Xiao’s heat pressed against his, tangled in an intimacy that blurred the lines between where one ended and the other began. Lin Xigu’s eyes were burning red.
It was hot, it made him ache but the pleasure was incredible.
She Xiao’s body was still pale. Before, there had been fresh wounds atop layers and layers of hideously jagged scars, but with time, everything had become an old wound.
Several years on, the scars that ought to have faded had faded, and the most severe wounds that were too deep to vanish completely had tanned to a shade slightly darker than She Xiao’s complexion. Time had made them look no longer grotesque, had made them relics of a faded past.
Lin Xigu pressed his lips to a long, jagged scar that ran along She Xiao’s waist. It was a deep wound that cut through many layers of skin and the skin there was puckered and uneven, the texture transformed into something to stumble over. As Lin Xigu kissed it, a wave of heartache swelled in him. He couldn’t fathom how much it must have hurt when it was inflicted.
But when Lin Xigu kissed the scar, She Xiao involuntarily arched his back. Lin Xigu heard him laugh.
Lin Xigu looked up to see She Xiao looking back at him with laughter still lingering on his face.
It had been a genuinely carefree laugh, borne from the kiss his mischievous lover had left on his scar. The warm breath against his side had tickled, gently and enticingly.
Lin Xigu couldn’t help but laugh too. He lunged forward to hug She Xiao, planting a firm kiss on his lips. His eyes sparkled as he asked, “So you can be ticklish too?”
She Xiao held him close, the remnants of amusement still flickering in his eyes, and nodded slightly. “Perhaps.”
The revelation that She Xiao was ticklish made him feel more human, more down-to-earth, and it seemed to bring them even closer. However, Lin Xigu could remember a time when She Xiao wasn’t ticklish—or at least, he had never seen She Xiao react no matter which part of his body he touched. He thought back to the night years ago when he had pulled She Xiao back to his place in the dead of the night. He had kissed every scar on She Xiao’s body then, yet not once had She Xiao flinched or mentioned that it tickled.
Lin Xigu nipped at She Xiao’s lips, his eyes creasing in high spirits.
He mumbled, “If you’re ticklish, it means you have someone who cares about you. Were you…?”
He blushed slightly as the words stuck in his throat, but the atmosphere was so perfect that it seemed the best time to say it. It seemed only right to say it to complement the deliciously sweet tension of the moment.
Moving his lips against She Xiao’s, he whispered, “Were you able to feel just how deeply I care about you?”
The moment the words were out, Lin Xigu quickly buried his face in She Xiao’s neck, his forehead pressing against the back of the sofa, and refused to lift his head again, no matter the reason.
She Xiao tilted his head back slightly to allow Lin Xigu more room to hide. His chest rumbled with quiet laughter as he held Lin Xigu’s waist with one hand and gently stroked his hair with the other.
In each other’s arms, they held their entire world. It was only because of that person that they could find the strength to face the future. Their souls were only complete in the other’s embrace.
The scars would fade eventually, the shackles had all been broken, and everything—everything—would be okay.