The imperial court was bathed in a suffocating silence, broken only by the high-pitched, indignant wails of several dozen officials standing in the front rows.
Positioned uncomfortably near the throne, these high-ranking bureaucrats—specifically those who had woken up the previous morning minus a vital piece of their anatomy—were aggressively pressing Emperor Xu for immediate retribution.
“Your Imperial Majesty!
This is an intolerable atrocity!” one castrated official squeaked, wincing with every subtle shift of his posture.
“Fifty noble statesmen mutilated in their own bedchambers overnight!
You must deploy the imperial guard!” Emperor Xu rubbed his temples, his face a picture of exhausted majesty.
“I have already stated that a full-force investigation has been launched.
The imperial authorities are pursuing every lead.” A minister from Prince Xu Gongfeng’s political faction stepped forward, bowing stiffly.
“Your Majesty, an investigation is hardly necessary when the culprit left blatant physical evidence at every scene.
The parchment explicitly named Mu En, the Dragon God Douluo of Shrek Academy!” Before the minister could finish, another official scoffed loudly from across the hall.
“Do you truly take everyone in this court for an utter idiot?
Why on earth would an elite assassin leave a signed confession on a piece of paper after committing a crime?
Much less a revered legend like Mu En?
It is obviously a crude fabrication!” “Enough!” Emperor Xu’s voice boomed, cutting off the escalating squabble.
“I am confident our forces will uncover the true perpetrators in due time.” As if heaven itself had heard the Emperor’s declaration, the heavy double doors of the court hall swung open with a loud clatter.
A dust-covered soldier wearing the insignia of Duke Yang’s military division burst inside, dropping onto one knee.
“Report from the front!” the soldier shouted, his breath raspy.
“General Yang has tracked the culprits!” Emperor Xu sat up straight, his eyes flashing with intensity.
“Who is responsible?” “Their individual identities remain unknown, Your Majesty,” the soldier reported frantically.
“However, General Yang’s scouts intercepted their movement near the border!
It is a specialized strike team—thirty Soul Masters in total!
Fifteen Soul Sages, ten Soul Douluo, and five Title Douluo!” A collective gasp echoed across the court hall.
Everyone froze in shock.
Had it been a rogue assassin or two, no one would have believed such a small crew could breach the imperial capital’s security.
But a full, elite tactical regiment composed entirely of high-ranking powerhouses?
A force of that terrifying magnitude possessed more than enough raw power to slip through defenses and pull off the widespread castration streak.
Emperor Xu froze as well, a cold drop of sweat forming behind his ear.
How had thirty high-level Soul Masters managed to enter the Sun Moon Empire without anyone knowing?
Shaking off his shock, Emperor Xu’s expression hardened into iron.
“Pass my imperial decree!
Grant General Yang full military access and unrestricted authority—he may utilize any method necessary to deal with them!” He raised his hand, his voice reverberating through the marble hall.
“Both the Terrorclaw Soul Engineer Legion under Duke Yang and the Fire Phoenix Soul Engineer Legion shall take this task and mobilize immediately!” “At your command, Your Imperial Majesty!” the entire court knelt in unison.
Meanwhile, high above a mist-shrouded mountain valley along the border, the wind howled past the jagged cliffside.
Duke Yang stood near the precipice, staring down at the hidden encampment below before turning to look at the seven-year-old boy beside him.
Xu Xuandong sat casually on a smooth stone, his eyes glued to the glowing glass screen of his Steam Deck.
“Kid,” Duke Yang rasped, crossing his heavy arms.
“Why did you leave a message with Mu En’s name on it?” Without taking his eyes off his game, Xuandong tapped the trackpad smoothly.
“Simple.
Just so when he comes in the future, he’ll have a much harder time negotiating at the table.” Duke Yang blinked twice, giving a slow nod.
Yet deep down in his soul, the battle-tested general had a lingering, irresistible feeling that the prince had done it purely for fun.
Ignoring the old man’s skeptical stare, Xuandong opened his character inventory screen to double-check his current Elden Ring gear setup: Great-Jar Helm: A massive ceramic helm that substantially boosted the potency of throwing pots and explosive warheads.
Companion Jar Talisman: A stone charm shaped like a tiny jar that significantly raised the damage output of pot-based items.
Fire Scorpion Talisman: A fiery talisman that greatly boosted fire-attribute attack power, albeit at the cost of lowering physical damage negation.
Arrow’s Sting Talisman: An ancient talisman that raised the attack power of arrows, bolts, and ballistic projectiles.
Godfrey Icon: A talisman depicting the First Elden Lord, enhancing the charged power of spells, skills, and heavy arts.
Flask of Wondrous Physick: A customized elixir containing the Flame-Shrouding Cracked Tear to temporarily skyrocket fire attack power, paired with the Cerulean Hidden Tear (the tear that grants infinite FP—or soul power—for a brief ten-second duration).
Xuandong reviewed his stat screen with a satisfied smirk.
“That’s good.” Funnily enough, because of the Steam Deck’s bizarre game-logic translation, the massive Grade 9 Soul Cannon shells brought by Duke Yang were somehow counted as ‘pots’ by the system!
That meant every single pot-boosting talisman and helm buff stacked directly onto the artillery shell!
“When do we start?” General Yang asked, eyeing the massive metallic cannon stationed near the cliff.
“When the others get into position,” Xuandong replied casually.
Twenty minutes later, a faint crimson signal flared in the distant clouds—the Fire Phoenix Soul Engineer Legion had taken their place around the ridge.
Thanks to Xuandong utilizing his Druid class magic and Mimic capabilities, he had woven a subtle veil of nature energy around both legions, completely hiding their physical aura from the enemy camp below.
“Are you ready?” Xuandong asked, looking up.
Duke Yang gave a firm nod.
With a flick of his wrist, Xuandong turned his Steam Deck into the glowing glass bottle of the Flask of Wondrous Physick.
He handed it straight to Duke Yang.
Without asking a single question, the veteran general drank it down in one gulp.
Instantly, an infinite, roaring ocean of endless soul power ran through his meridians!
“Hurry!
You only have ten seconds!” Xuandong warned urgently.
Returning his Steam Deck to normal, Xuandong swiftly set at a Site of Grace to replenish the Flask of Wondrous Physick.
He then rapidly swapped his gear, equipping the White Mask (Varre’s Mask) and the Lord of Blood’s Exaltation talisman, and committed Seppuku.
Xuandong flinched as the blade bit into him, but he kept going since he had already been through far worse excruciating pain during his in-game deaths.
The blood loss instantly triggered a massive attack power boost.
Returning to his normal artillery setup, he turned his Steam Deck into a staff and cast Unseen Form directly onto the massive Grade 9 Soul Cannon shell, making the warhead completely invisible.
He turned his martial soul into the Flask of Wondrous Physick once more and drank it himself, keeping the game running in the background to retain every active gear buff.
Coating his hands in dense energy, he infused his soul power and cast BLACK FLAME BLADE onto the invisible shell, using the cursed red dagger he had retrieved from the treasury as a medium.
The dark, god-killing flames wrapped around the warhead.
“Hopefully the blast wouldn’t reach us,” Xuandong said softly, taking a step back.
Down at the Clear Sky Hammer camp, two men sat around a campfire in the quiet mountain valley.
“We need to be careful not to be caught,” the first man instructed sternly, polishing a heavy hammer.
“The Child of Nature needs to think it was a usurpation.” The second man scoffed, crossing his arms in annoyance.
“Why do we have to go through all this trouble?
We could just go in and take him!” Before the second man could finish his complaint— BOOM!
An apocalyptic roar shattered the sky.
At Xuandong’s position on the cliff, the prince split his arms wide toward the blinding flash in the valley and shouted, “ART IS AN EXPLOSION!” Shortly after, a terrifying, earth-shattering shockwave ripped upward, tossing the seven-year-old prince flying through the air like a ragdoll!
Duke Yang, who still couldn’t process this absurd kind of destruction, didn’t react in time.
Realizing the danger a second late, the general frantically lunged forward and grabbed the flying prince out of mid-air!
“Your Highness, are you alright?” Duke Yang asked, frantically landing heavy on his boots while holding the small prince tightly in his arms.
Xu Xuandong dusted himself off with a casual wave of his hand, though his ears were still ringing from the apocalyptic explosion.
“I’m fine.
Focus—the true battle starts now.” Without missing a beat, Xuandong pulled out his Steam Deck and sat briefly by a manifested Site of Grace to replenish his Flask of Wondrous Physick.
Infusing his soul power, he transformed the device into the glowing glass elixir and drank it down in one gulp, refilling his ten-second buffer of infinite soul power.
Before the dust in the valley could even begin to settle, two colossal, terrifying roars shattered the air!
From the heart of the scorched crater, two massive entities erupted into the sky.
One was an azure-colored dragon with a bull’s head, while the other was a titanic, mountain-like ape.
Yet, what sent a chill through the watching legions was that both legendary beasts were completely bathed in roaring, black flames.
The cursed fire clung to their flesh like liquid tar, causing the divine beasts to twist and scream in excruciating pain.
Reaching into his pocket, Xuandong pulled out the Spirit Calling Bell and gave it a soft chime.
A ethereal blue mist condensed beside him, manifesting the dark, graceful form of Black Knife Tiche.
“I’m glad to see you again,” Xuandong said with a grin, “but we’re a bit busy right now.” With a flick of his wrist, he morphed his Steam Deck into the jagged, red-and-black greatsword—Maliketh’s Black Blade—and handed the massive weapon of Destined Death straight to her.
“You know what to do.” Tiche gave a silent nod, her eyes glinting red, and vanished instantly into the shadows.
Xuandong turned to Duke Yang.
“Fire the ballistas!” Duke Yang’s eyes hardened as he turned toward the cliffside artillery ranks.
“Fire them!” he roared at the top of his lungs.
A thunderous snap echoed along the ridge as dozens of heavy, soul-engineered ballistas unleashed their payloads.
The specialized ammunition loaded into the launchers were none other than Igon’s Harpoons—colossal greatarrows bristling with sharp gravel stone pieces specifically designed with an anti-dragon effect!
Coated in Xuandong’s black flames, the harpoons cut through the sky and pierced the hide of the two beasts like butter.
Both creatures screamed and roared at the absolute top of their lungs.
Driven to a desperate corner, a brilliant, glowing three-pronged trident mark suddenly lit up on both of their foreheads, surging with divine power!
Before the divine seal could fully manifest its protection, a blinding arc of black flame slashed straight across both massive targets.
“Giant targets are always the easiest to hit,” Xuandong smirked from the cliff edge.
The moment the divine trident mark activated, it unexpectedly acted as pure gasoline to the cursed fire.
The flames of Destined Death ignited exponentially harder, aggressively devouring the divine energy as fuel!
Watching from afar, Xuandong was utterly surprised and delighted at the sight.
No wonder in Elden Ring lore all the demigods feared Maliketh…
the black flames are far more terrifying in reality than on a screen!
Over on the Fire Phoenix Legion’s flank, the engineers launched a synchronized barrage of Igon’s Harpoons.
One massive projectile struck the azure dragon straight through the skull, piercing its brain and killing him on the spot.
Seeing his brother die, the giant ape went berserk, flaring every drop of his ancient power to flatten the mountain.
Unfortunately, pumping out more energy only made the black flames burn stronger.
Before he could unleash his full power, a dark silhouette leaped onto his massive shoulder.
Tiche glided forward and cleanly severed the titan ape’s head with a single, sweeping slash of Maliketh’s Black Blade.
High above the mortal plane, within the majestic halls of the Divine Realm, a group of gods sat around a marble roundtable, discussing the current landscape of the realms.
In the middle of the conference, Tang San suddenly froze.
His face twisted into a look of raw, boiling anger.
He snapped his gaze toward the direction of Douluo Planet.
The other gods paused, turning their attention to the lower world as well—due to Douluo Planet’s special nature, they kept a close eye on it from time to time.
They all felt a sudden, violent flare of divine power from the surface, but almost instantaneously, it was completely extinguished into nothingness.
“What was that, Sea God?” one of the committee members asked.
Tang San suppressed his internal rage, shaking his head.
“I am not entirely sure.
I will investigate it personally.” Before he could dismiss the topic, the Goddess of Life suddenly gasped in pure, joyful delight.
The God of Destruction frowned, turning to his wife.
“What is wrong, Life?” “There is a Child of Nature on Douluo Planet!” she declared happily, her eyes glowing with divine light.
“And he is an innate one!
I want to take him as my heir!” Tang San internally panicked.
If either Life or Destruction took the Child of Nature under their protection, his long-term plans for the Douluo Planet would be completely ruined!
“Goddess of Life, perhaps you should wait and observe him first,” Tang San urged quickly, putting on a calm facade.
“No!” Life refused firmly.
“It is extremely hard for someone with this level of natural affinity to be born.
If I let him go, how long will I have to wait for another?” The God of Destruction held up a hand.
“Wait.” Life turned to him, curious.
“What is it?” Destruction’s eyes narrowed.
“The child…
also has an extraordinarily strong affinity with me.
While it is not purely nature-based, his destruction attribute is remarkably potent.” Tang San’s heart sank straight to the bottom of his stomach.
Internally, he was violently cursing Da Ming and Er Ming for failing so disastrously.
“We should still wait until I investigate,” Tang San pressed desperately.
“We do not know what just happened in the lower world.” The Goddess of Life entered full protective mama mode, completely dismissing Tang San’s caution, leaving even the mighty God of Destruction utterly helpless against her stubbornness.
“I know!” Life chimed in brightly.
“The Child of Nature is right where that spike of divine power occurred!
Let’s just summon him directly to the Divine Realm and ask him!” Tang San’s heart sank even further.
If they summoned the boy right now and learned about Da Ming and Er Ming, he would be in deep, insurmountable trouble.
“Absolutely not!” Tang San blurted out.
“If someone is interfering in the lower world and we make such a bold move, they will simply go into hiding.
It is far better to watch and wait for them to act so we can catch them red-handed!” Off to the side, Ji Dong, the God of Evil, was staring down at the lower realm mirror with a thoroughly puzzled expression, his eyes fixed on the strange glass device in the young prince’s hands.
His wife, Lie Yan, the Goddess of Kindness, noticed his distraction and asked gently, “What’s wrong, dear?” Ji Dong shook his head slowly, a faint, nostalgic smile touching his lips.
“Nothing…
I just remembered something from my home world.” Lie Yan’s eyes softened with affection, and she gently took his hand.
Back on the cliffside, Xu Xuandong’s face was a picture of utter surprise and shock.
Following the complete massacre of the enemy force, he thought the battle was over—until thousands of tiny, glowing specks of golden light began floating up from the valley, streaming straight into his chest.
RUNES!
he screamed in his mind, his eyes nearly popping out of his sockets.
He forced a deep breath, deciding he would check his stat screen later.
Duke Yang walked up to his side, staring down at the ash-filled crater with profound, terrifying reverence.
“Your Highness…
we did it.
We slayed gods.” In the old general’s mind, no one in the world was as majestic, terrifying, and untouchable as his seven-year-old prince.
Xu Xuandong nodded calmly.
“How did it go with the rest of their Title Douluo?” “Only one enemy Title Douluo survived the blast, Your Highness,” Duke Yang reported.
“And he is a hair away from death, missing several limbs.” Xuandong nodded thoughtfully.
“Good.
He can be used to appease the masses and skyrocket the empire’s prestige.” He looked back down at the valley.
His only true regret was that both corpses of Da Ming and Er Ming had been completely consumed by the black flames, reduced to nothing but grey dust.
Not a single spirit ring or spirit bone remained.
If sacrificing the loot is the price for total safety…
then so be it, Xuandong thought, letting out a long, heavy sigh.
Duke Yang noticed his expression.
“Your Highness, what’s wrong?” Xu Xuandong turned his head, staring at the veteran general with a deadpan, utterly exasperated look.
“How the fuck are we going to explain that we killed two gods?” Duke Yang blinked once, twice, scratching his bearded chin in total silence, before muttering, “If you ask me…
who should I ask?”