Tao Tao blinked. “No. I thought she just liked to talk.”
The doctor: “…”
Tao Guangzhi, listening nearby, was on the verge of a breakdown. He held up two fingers and asked the doctor repeatedly, trembling: “She’s in second grade. SECOND grade. And she still doesn’t know? Are you sure she’s not… slow, Doctor?”
The doctor laughed helplessly. “Don’t overthink it. Some kids are just like this. There are kids in fifth and sixth grade who still don’t understand why they have to study. Your daughter is not slow at all—she answered with clear logic and quick reflexes. The only issue is academics. When it comes to climbing trees to steal birds’ nests, picking fruit, wading in rivers, playing slingshots and firecrackers—her head is so full of tricks, I’d say she’s incredibly clever!”
Hearing this, Tao Guangzhi didn’t know whether to be relieved or distressed.
When it was Yu Luan’s turn, the process was much quieter.
The doctor asked him some questions. Yu Luan, of course, ignored him. Outside of close family, he rarely spoke to strangers. The doctor was patient, letting him play with blocks and look at pictures while carefully observing his expressions and reactions. He also had Auntie Yu fill out many questionnaires.
After that, both Tao Tao and Yu Luan were sent outside to wait in the hallway.
Tao Tao didn’t hear exactly what the doctor said. She and Yu Luan sat on chairs in the hallway. She tore off a long strip of Big Bubble gum and stuffed it in her mouth. Yu Luan tilted his head back and began staring intently at the ceiling fan spinning overhead.
Through the door, Tao Tao caught fragments of Auntie Yu’s voice, loud and defensive: “Doctor, how can that be? Other than those little quirks, he’s perfectly normal! He does talk to people—he just doesn’t like to. Call him a few times and he answers. He’s always so obedient, so good…”
“Please calm down. You just aren’t familiar with this condition. Every child is vastly different—the degree of presentation, the symptoms—each one unique. It’s impossible to judge by a standard…”
A while later, Tao Guangzhi and Auntie Yu came out with the medical records, heads hanging low.
Tao Tao ran over and hugged Tao Guangzhi’s leg, feeling inexplicably scared.
Auntie Yu’s face was ashen, her eyes blank. She came out, said nothing, and went to take the hand of Yu Luan, who was sitting quietly in his chair.
She held his hand tightly and walked out of the hospital building without a word.
Tao Guangzhi hesitated, about to go comfort her, but she suddenly couldn’t hold it in any longer. She crouched down, wrapped her arms around Yu Luan, and burst into anguished sobs.
Yu Luan, terrified, kept wiping her tears with his little hands. “Mama, don’t cry… Mama, blow the pain away…”
Back then, little Tao Tao had been just as confused as Yu Luan about why Auntie Yu was crying.
Years later, as an adult, Tao Tao had long left the small town. Her little bakery happened to be near a rehabilitation center. Every time she rode her electric bike to deliver cakes, she couldn’t help but stop and look for a while.
The sign at that rehabilitation center featured a stick-figure child hugging a star. On the information board at the entrance were these words:
“In the universe, no two stars share the same spectrum. These children are also different, like stars. So please, use love, equality, and respect to guide them as they walk forward here on Earth.”
How beautifully said.
Tao Tao had stood there for a long time, tears in her eyes. Later, she started volunteering regularly at that rehabilitation center.
Yu Luan, who never got to grow up, had been dead for ten years.
And yet she, who had grown up just fine, still thought of him countless times—at moments just like this.
·
A sharp tug of her scalp with a plastic comb jolted Tao Tao out of her memories. She yelped and swatted at Tao Guangzhi’s hand. “Stop! That’s too tight! You’re going to pull my head off!”
“Don’t scream! If I don’t tie it tight enough, how will it survive you, you little wild thing? You’ll have it half undone in two steps!”
“It hurts! You’re pulling my hair! Let go, Dad!”
“What are you talking about? Nonsense! Just sit still and don’t wiggle around—then it won’t hurt!”
As soon as they’d come inside, Tao Guangzhi had shoved her onto a little stool to fix her hair. His technique was brutally rough. The thin, red plastic comb with its pointed handle might as well have been a plow turning over a dry field of scalp.
The pain made Tao Tao wonder if her hair follicles were being yanked clean out.
Tao Guangzhi, still holding a hair elastic between his teeth, acted like a pro, flipping the comb around and using its slender handle to part her hair into a painfully straight, sharp middle line. He pulled so hard it made the corners of her eyes lift.
“All done!” He tied off the two ponytails neatly, then gave each one an extra tug upward to make sure they were secure.
He was extremely pleased with himself. He grabbed a small round mirror with a plastic case printed with a bikini beauty and held it up for Tao Tao to see. “How about that? Your dad’s got skills, doesn’t he?”
Tao Tao held the mirror, wanting to cry but not quite able to. Her pigtails were pulled so high they stuck up like horns on top of her head. And that painfully precise part down the middle…
So that’s why her hairline would end up so sparse as an adult!
While Tao Tao was grimacing through the ordeal, Yu Luan was completely absorbed in the TV. The living room TV was a 19-inch Hitachi color set, a hand-me-down from her uncle’s family, who had just upgraded to a 29-inch Sony—reportedly costing several thousand yuan, specially brought back from Bincheng.
Around dinnertime, CCTV-1 aired the Animation City block, full of great shows: Little Confused God, the old Journey to the West, Big Head Son and Little Head Dad, Happy Family Car…
This was prime time—no kid would miss it. Tao Tao used to never sit properly at the dinner table, instead wandering around with her bowl, watching all the way until six o’clock.
She’d be completely mesmerized.
After six, Big Pinwheel came on, followed by the news.
Then she and her friends could run wild outside.
But Tao Tao’s screaming while getting her hair combed was clearly interfering with Yu Luan’s TV focus.
He was several beats slow. Only after her shrieks had ended did he turn his head. Slowly, he covered both ears with his little hands and stared blankly at her.
If the old Tao Tao had caught him staring at her like that, she would’ve gotten angry immediately—probably deciding he was laughing at her. And how could she tolerate that?
She wouldn’t just glare at him ferociously. She’d shout, “What are you looking at, dummy?”
Of course, she’d then get a hard smack on the head from Tao Guangzhi for name-calling.
But now, inside this small body lived an adult soul. Meeting his eyes—clear as spring water—she thought of how he’d never even lived to grow up in her previous life. Her heart ached a little. So she asked gently, “I’m going mango-hunting with Lily after dinner. Do you want to come?”
Yu Luan kept staring at her.
His eyes were so big. The whites had a faint blue tint, and his pupils were black and glossy, like the most perfect glass marbles, soaking in clear water.
“Lily’s coming too. Do you want to?” Tao Tao asked again, patiently.
Yu Luan blinked slowly. His long lashes fluttered like tiny fans. After several seconds, still covering his ears, he timidly spoke his first words of the day to Tao Tao:
“Jie jie.”
“What is it?” Tao Tao was caught off guard—but that soft little “Jie jie” warmed her.
She thought about it. Yu Luan and Auntie Yu had only moved in about two months ago. But ever since Auntie Yu taught him what to call people, he’d been obediently calling her Jie jie.
Even though Tao Tao was only one year older. Even though Tao Tao often teased and bullied him.
Yu Luan watched Tao Tao’s expression carefully. First, he let go of one ear-covering hand. Tentatively, he reached it forward a little, then quickly pulled it back to cover his ear again. Then, in a small voice, he asked:
“Jie jie, are you slaughtering a pig?”
His voice was soft and sweet, but he asked very seriously—and in case Tao Tao hadn’t heard, he repeated himself.
“Jie jie, are you slaughtering a pig?”
Tao Tao: “…”
Strangely enough, she actually understood what he meant with this bizarre phrasing.
Tao Guangzhi, oblivious, just thought the kid’s way of talking was hilarious. He burst out laughing. “That’s right, that’s right! The way you were screaming just now, you really did sound like a pig being slaughtered! You’re just a little piggy!”
He gave Tao Tao’s cheek another pinch.
Tao Tao was utterly exasperated with her dad’s thick-headedness. She pursed her lips and grumbled inwardly: You’re the pig! Your whole family is— Wait. You’re the pig yourself!
“You two behave and watch TV. Don’t fight. I’m going to stir-fry some greens. Dinner will be ready soon.” Tao Guangzhi patted Yu Luan’s little head and headed into the kitchen.
Just then, from outside came the soft clatter of a bicycle kickstand hitting the ground. Before anyone even walked in, a bright, crisp woman’s voice accompanied the sound of the door opening: “Guangzhi, I got it! That roast goose place was packed—I queued for half an hour!”
It was Auntie Yu.
Tao Tao’s heart jolted. She turned to look.