For several seconds, Dan couldn’t move.
The memory kept replaying in his mind, refusing to fade.
Sophie, her subtle fear and his own actions.
Dan slowly lowered his hands and stared at the floor.
’That was me.’
The realization settled heavily over him.
And suddenly, Sophie’s decision to keep Lily from him made sense.
She hadn’t simply been hiding their daughter. She might have been protecting her.
Dan’s gaze trembled. ’Lily...’
Her smiling face flashed through his mind.
For the first time, the thought of holding his own daughter didn’t fill him with warmth.
It filled him with fear. Not because of Lily but because of himself.
Dan clenched his fists. He had spent years believing he knew what kind of man he was.
Now, that certainty was gone.
His eyes slowly closed as he struggled to steady his breathing.
He didn’t know what he was supposed to do with the truth he’d just uncovered.
Then...
[Host.]
Dan’s eyes opened.
[The System understands the Host’s current emotional state.]
Dan closed his eyes, his heart in ruins. ’Will i lose control like that again?’
The question came out almost broken. There was a pause before the system answered.
[Host’s current circumstances are different. You didn’t have the system before but you do now]
Dan opened his eyes. ’That’s not what I asked.’
His voice trembled. ’Will it happen again?’
Silence descended and Dan’s heart sank further.
He already understood the implication. He had always thought his anger was something he could control. Now he wasn’t so certain.
[Host possesses unresolved emotional instability.]
[The System recommends that the Host learn to control that state. While it may seem dangerous and comes with certain disadvantages, that state also has its own benefits, especially with the apocalypse rapidly approaching. The System can assist the Host in learning to control it.]
Dan didn’t even consider the System’s point of view as he lowered his gaze, seething in anger...
’Why would I want anything to do with something like that?!’
He absolutely hated that state, and he dreaded the thought of ever entering it again.
He looked toward Sophie. She was still sitting quietly, watching him with tears in her eyes.
His throat tightened. "Sophie... I remember everything now."
She looked at him as he softly apologized.
"I’m sorry, Sophie."
The words came quietly, he really meant it... Taking her virginity in such manner, he would never forgive himself...
Completely different from what Dan thought would be her reaction to him recovering his memory, Sophie simply shooked her head. "It’s okay. That wasn’t you."
"That doesn’t make it okay." His voice was heavier now, Sophie’s leniency made him more angry with himself.
"No matter how you twist it, I’m still the one who did it."
Sophie remained silent for a moment before saying, "Honestly, Dan, I enjoyed it. But that wasn’t you..."
"You’re saying that to console me, right?" Dan looked away.
"No, Dan. I’m being honest. If I hadn’t enjoyed it, I would’ve genuinely hated you for what happened..."
"I don’t know what happened to me that night." His hands trembled slightly. "But I know I never want to become that person again. Genuinely, thank you for not taking legal action against me..."
"It’s okay, Dan. You don’t know how happy I am that we’re married now..."
For a moment, neither of them spoke.
Then Sophie moved closer and sat beside him. She didn’t speak at first but after a moment she reached for him. Her hand settled at the back of his neck and she guided his head down into her lap.
He let her do what she want. His cheek rested against her thigh, her smooth skin warm under his face. But he was feeling too guilty about his past to enjoy the moment.
Meanwhile Sophie stayed quiet a little longer. Then she tugged the neckline of her shirt aside and drew out one breast, full, heavy, the nipple already tight in the cool air.
"Look at me," she said. Her voice was low. "Forget about it for now. As long as you don’t drink like that again, it’s nothing we can’t deal with."
’What if I entered that state without drinking, just like when I get angry and lose control?’
The question never made it out cause Sophie turned his face toward her, pulling him out of the thought and back into the room.
To comfort him, she guided him to her breast and reluctantly, his lips closed around her nipple.
Slowly, because of the turmoil still sitting in his chest, Dan’s hand came up to hold the weight of her other breast, fondling it.
His thumb brushed the smooth underside while he sucked. She didn’t pull away. She moaned softly, her fingers staying in his hair.
The amazing feeling of everything grounded him more than he expected.
The heat of her skin, the smooth skin of her breast, her nicely shaped nipples, the way her breathing changed above him, it cut through the noise in his head enough that his shoulders finally dropped as his anxiety dissapeared...
Sophie definitely knew the best way to calm him down...
Deep down, he hoped she was right. That if he kept himself in check, this could be a beginning instead of another ending.
He didn’t lift his head. He kept his mouth on her, his hand moving over the soft, full curve of her breast, and for a little while neither of them said anything else.
Sophie stayed where she was. She didn’t speak while she turned everything over. One hand rested against his cheek, holding him there as his mouth worked over her breast.
She bit her lower lip, trying to hold back a soft moan.
Dan could smell her nice feminine fragrance. His chest tightened as he realised he didn’t deserve her being this good to him. Quietly, he vowed not to let what had happened in the past repeat itself.
"Ahn..."
His tongue moved over her, and Sophie moaned softly at the feeling, looking down at him.
She admired his handsome face for a second.
"Dan..."
"Hmm."
"There’s something else."
He lifted his mouth just enough to see her face. His hand stayed on her, thumb still tracing the heavy curve of her breast.
Sophie hesitated. "When the power went out at my place, I thought it was just the electricity. A normal fault. But after what you told me..." Her eyes drifted toward the window. "Could it really be another sign?"
Dan nodded. "That’s what I think."
He didn’t tell her the system had already confirmed it. There was no use making it sound stranger than it already was.
"The bulbs in my house all went at once," she said. "It’s pitch black over there. I can’t see anything. I don’t want Lily to wake up to that, and I... I can’t quite reach to fix the lights by myself."
Dan stopped.
He pressed a kiss to the side of her breast, then another higher, against her collarbone, then found her mouth.
His lips met hers and stayed there. Soft at first. Warm. He kissed her slowly, mouth moving against hers in an unhurried press. When her lips parted, he took the kiss deeper, still gentle, tongue brushing hers, lingering there as her breath caught against his mouth.
She kissed him back the same way. Her fingers tightened once in his hair, holding him close while their mouths stayed fitted together.
When they parted, his forehead rested against hers.