June 7th.
The air was thick with the moist, slightly cool scent of early summer. When Lu Min pushed open the door to Ying Yulian’s bedroom, the youth was already dressed neatly and sitting on the edge of the bed. He clutched a transparent document bag so tightly that his fingertips turned white from the pressure.
“Brother,” Ying Yulian said. His voice was tight, and his dark eyes were filled with nerves.
In truth, as the College Entrance Examination approached, he had not been anxious about the academics. He consistently ranked at the top of his class and his grade. Getting into a top-tier university would be easy for him. However, Ying Yulian did not want to attend just any prestigious university. He wanted to get into the Police Academy.
To Ying Yulian, studying finance or any ordinary major felt like a dead end because it offered no way to help Lu Min. If he attended the Police Academy, he could become Lu Min’s colleague upon graduation. If Lu Min encountered a difficult case, he could offer insights. If they faced a dangerous criminal while Lu Min protected the public, Ying Yulian would be there to protect Lu Min.
He desperately wanted to be meaningful and valuable to the man. He wanted to be someone who supported Lu Min rather than a burden who relied on him for every basic necessity. But the entry requirements for the Police Academy had skyrocketed in recent years, and he was not even certain he could pass the physical examination.
Ying Yulian began to worry. If he performed poorly and failed to get into the academy, or if he ended up at a mediocre university, he wondered what would happen. It would be a profound embarrassment to his brother.
“Alright, do not be nervous. The entrance exam is not such a big deal. If you do not do well, I will take care of you,” Lu Min said. Seeing the youth’s trepidation, he walked over and instinctively reached out to pull him into a hug.
Then, he remembered that Ying Yulian was grown now. Such intimate physical gestures were beginning to cross a line. Lu Min withdrew his hand, searching his mind for a different way to encourage him. He recalled how he and Chen Shen handled problems at the station, usually by clapping each other on the shoulder. He raised his hand again, but before he could move, the youth beat him to it.
Ying Yulian lunged forward and hugged him, locking his thin arms tightly around Lu Min’s waist. His warm breath fanned against Lu Min’s chest.
“What is wrong? Do not be nervous. It is just a test, and you did well on all the mock exams,” Lu Min said, trying to soothe him. “Besides, it does not matter what school you get into, as long as you do not take the wrong path later in life.”
Lu Min was not lying. To him, the specific university mattered little. His only real concern was whether the youth would turn to a life of crime.
“But Brother, I want to go to the Police Academy,” Ying Yulian said.
“The Police Academy?” Lu Min was surprised. Ying Yulian was excellent in his academic subjects, especially mathematics. Lu Min had assumed the boy would want to study finance.
“Yes, because I want to be someone meaningful to you. You took me in, and I want to be able to help you with things. I want to be the person who protects you, not just the one being protected by you,” Ying Yulian said, looking at Lu Min without blinking.
Lu Min wondered about the boy helping him. In both his past and present lives, he had always been the omnipotent Officer Lu and the expert consultant. He was almost always the one helping and protecting others. In this life, the first person to say they wanted to protect him was his mortal enemy from his previous existence. Inexplicably, Lu Min’s heart softened. He shifted his gaze and changed the subject.
“Alright, check if you have all your things.” Lu Min stood up and inspected the items in the document bag, including the admission ticket and the identification card. “Everything is here. Let us go.”
Ying Yulian watched Lu Min’s back as he walked away. Unease gnawed at him. He wondered why his brother had avoided his words. He questioned if it was because Lu Min did not believe in him. Perhaps he had overestimated his role in helping solve the Zhou Wei case. Perhaps without him, Lu Min would have solved it anyway with just a little more time. He wondered if he was still a useless person in Lu Min’s eyes. He wanted so badly to be valuable.
They went downstairs and got into the car. As Lu Min started the engine, Ying Yulian still gripped the document bag. He stared at the streetscape blurring past the window with his lips pressed into a tight, strained line.
“Nervous?” Lu Min asked, glancing at the rearview mirror.
The youth shook his head vigorously. He was merely thinking of a dream he had a few days ago. In the dream, he had walked onto the balcony to find Lu Min smoking. He had crossly told Lu Min to put the cigarette out because it was bad for his health. But Lu Min had only turned his head and looked at him indifferently. Then, Lu Min raised the cigarette and looked around for an ashtray.
Ying Yulian thought his brother was being silly since the ashtray was right there in the living room. Since Lu Min did not seem to know, Ying Yulian reached out to take his hand to lead him inside. Instead, Lu Min grabbed his sleeve. Lu Min’s eyes narrowed and a smirk played on his lips as he flicked the ash.
“Where are you going? Is there not a perfectly good ashtray right here?” Lu Min asked.
Ying Yulian had looked at the man with confusion. He felt something was wrong and reached up to see if Lu Min was sick. But the man had pushed him down to a kneeling position. Lu Min removed his own leather belt and looped it around Ying Yulian’s neck like a collar for a dog. He said with a hint of impatience, “Did I not tell you to stop moving?”
Ying Yulian had stared up at him, stunned. As the belt tightened around his neck and a sense of suffocation rose, he felt a strange, burning heat bloom in his lower abdomen. Inexplicably, he felt a desperate urge to use the bathroom.
“Brother,” he gasped, clawing at the belt. “I need to go to the bathroom.”
“Shh,” Lu Min chuckled. He tugged the belt, pulling the youth forward a few stumbling steps. He then began to whistle a low, steady tune, which was a sound often used to encourage a child to relieve themselves. “Do it right here.”
The man slowly tightened the belt further. “It is clean enough here. It makes a suitable ashtray.” Lu Min arched an eyebrow and pressed the glowing cigarette butt toward him.
Ying Yulian had woken up then. He looked at his damp clothes, resigned himself to the reality of the situation, and went to wash both the laundry and himself. He had walked to the bathroom with a face that was red with embarrassment.
Recalling the dream now, he froze again. He had once considered using his body to ensure Lu Min would never abandon him and to prove he was useful. But back then, he was still a minor, and Lu Min had harshly rejected him and scolded him. But what if he was an adult? He wondered if Lu Min would accept the offering of his body then. If his body could be enjoyed by Lu Min and if he could become a vessel for Lu Min’s desires, he wondered if he would finally be a person of value. He questioned if that would prevent the outcome of being discarded.
“Xiao Lian, what is wrong?” Lu Min asked.
“It is nothing, Brother. I am just a little nervous and a little afraid.”
“Well, think about it this way. As soon as the exam is over, it will be your birthday. Does that make you feel better? Have you decided what you want for a birthday gift?” Lu Min asked.
Although Lu Min maintained the mindset that he would discard the boy the moment he turned bad, he had no intention of being stingy with material things as long as the boy remained obedient. Hearing the question, Ying Yulian’s ears turned red. He thought of what he planned to do at his coming of age ceremony. He turned his face away uncomfortably.
“I have decided. It is a secret, so I will not tell you yet. When the day comes, you will find out.”