Wuyunzhu shot her a meaningful look, indicating for her to come over and spill the details quickly.
Caixia happily complied. As expected, her gege still loved hearing gossip just as much as before. Even with palace rules being as strict as iron, nothing could stop a heart eager to eat melons.
Wuyunzhu changed into a comfortable everyday house dress and walked over to the window-side large heated brick bed (kang), where a small low table had already been set up with iced sour plum juice, alongside a small plate of melon seeds and peanuts.
She picked up the sour plum juice and took a small sip. It was ice-cold, sweet and sour, and instantly refreshing, invigorating her body and mind.
She beckoned to Caixia. “Sit down quickly and tell me what excitement is happening outside.”
Caixia sat down across from her as instructed and lowered her voice with a smile, “It’s from next door at the Eighth Prince’s residence—freshly baked news straight from this morning!”
“What happened at Eighth Brother’s residence? Let the Prince hear this too.”
Yingtang’s voice suddenly chimed in from outside, and before she could react, he had already taken big strides into the room.
Caixia was startled and hurriedly stood up to pay her respects.
Yingtang waved his hand casually, crossed his legs as he sat down on the other end of the kang, and said, “Alright, go on.”
Caixia glanced at her own mistress, seeing that her mistress didn’t object and noticing Yingtang’s look of intense curiosity, she had no choice but to bite the bullet and repeat the gossip she had just dug up.
“This servant heard the old matrons in the small kitchen gossiping. This morning, someone from the Eighth Prince’s residence went to the Eastern Four-Halls—oh no, they went to the Fourth Prince’s residence to borrow a morning meal.”
Hearing just this opening, Yingtang frowned, his expression turning somewhat displeased. “Nonsense! How could an august imperial prince ever sink to the level of borrowing breakfast from his brothers? Doesn’t that just invite people to make a laughingstock of him?”
Caixia shrank back a little and closed her mouth in fright, not daring to continue further.
Wuyunzhu slanted a look at Yingtang, her tone cool as she spoke, “If Your Highness dislikes hearing others talk poorly, you can just step outside. Don’t ruin my mood for listening to gossip.”
Yingtang choked. Meeting his primary consort’s somewhat disdainful gaze, his momentum instantly shrank by half. He gave a light cough, piled on a flattering smile, grabbed a handful of melon seeds, and shoved them into Wuyunzhu’s hand. “Not at all, not at all. The Prince was just running his mouth. Let her continue talking, don’t stop.”
Wuyunzhu was finally satisfied, turning back to Caixia. “Pay him no mind, go ahead.”
Encouraged, Caixia felt her courage grow. “This servant found it extremely strange when I heard it, so I asked around carefully and only then found out that His Majesty bestowed a table of morning meals upon the Eighth Prince this morning…”
Hearing this, Yingtang immediately let out a sour, jealous huff. “Imperial Father is really something else. He only punished Eighth Brother last night, and this morning he’s rewarding him with food—isn’t this just giving a slap followed immediately by a sweet date? He really is partial…”
Before he could finish, his words were choked off by what Caixia said next.
“Ninth Lord, what Imperial Father rewarded was no good thing at all! It was an entire table of a bitter melon banquet!” Caixia gestured vividly. “I heard that every single dish was made of bitter melon; it was so bitter it was completely impossible to swallow down. That was why the Eighth Prince had no face left and had to send someone to seek help from the Fourth Prince.”
“Pfft—”
The mouthful of sour plum juice Wuyunzhu had just taken into her mouth almost sprayed out. Unable to hold back her laughter, she chuckled, “A bitter melon banquet? Kangxi’s methods are… simply legendary!”
Caixia continued spilling the explosive details: “The more exciting part happened right after! The Primary Consort Eighth assumed that the people in the small kitchen were slacking off and playing tricks, so she angrily called the Superintendent of the Imperial Kitchen, Lanzhu, over to berate him severely. Lanzhu said it was the Emperor’s intention, but Primary Consort Eighth refused to believe it and smashed a plate right then and there. Who would have thought that the plate rolled right up to Eunuch Wei Zhu’s feet, and the splashing shards nearly scraped open Eunuch Wei’s face!
Primary Consort Eighth’s face turned white on the spot.”
Yingtang was dumbfounded. “Wei Zhu? Why was he there?”
“Eunuch Wei was acting under Head Eunuch Liang’s orders to specifically deliver a message,” Caixia covered her mouth with a smile. “Eunuch Wei told Primary Consort Eighth with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, saying that His Majesty is considerate of the Primary Consort’s internal heat running high recently, so he specially commanded the Imperial Kitchen to prepare this table of bitter melon banquet to help the two of you clear away heat and calm your fires. He urged the Eighth Prince and Primary Consort Eighth to ‘savor it thoroughly’ and not waste a single bite!”
Yingtang was thoroughly convinced this time, the corners of his mouth curving up frantically. “Haha… Imperial Father’s move is simply soul-crushing! Heat running high? Isn’t this clearly mocking Primary Consort Eighth for being hot-tempered and overbearing? And yet they had no choice but to finish eating it—brilliant!”
Wuyunzhu laughed until her sides shook, her shoulders trembling. “Did they actually eat it in the end?”
“They ate it, all right. I heard they had to force it down while their stomachs churned, and they nearly threw up on the spot,” Caixia held back her laughter. “People outside are also saying… they’re saying…”
“Saying what? Hurry up and tell!” Yingtang was hooked and urged her on.
“They’re saying that the Eighth Prince already naturally has a rather long face, and after eating all that bitter melon, his complexion turned green, making him look… making him look just like a bitter melon spirit…”
“Hahahaha—!”
Yingtang could no longer hold back at all. He slapped his thigh and burst into roaring laughter. “I can’t take it anymore, I’m going to die laughing! Eighth Brother’s face paired with a green color… hahaha, no, this matter has to be told to Old Ten right away!”
Wuyunzhu laughed until her stomach ached as well. Waving her hand to let Caixia go off to rest, she thought to herself that although life in the Forbidden City was filled with treacherous steps at every turn, occasionally watching her sisters-in-law trip up and fall flat on their faces could certainly be considered a top-tier remedy for relieving boredom.
On the other side, clutching this monumental joke to his chest, Yingtang strode excitedly toward the Upper Study.
Ever since his grand wedding, this was his very first time returning to the Upper Study. The moment he stepped through the door and saw the group of young imperial princes sitting upright in solemn rows studying their texts, a spontaneous sense of superiority as a “mature adult” welled up inside him.
When school finally dismissed at noon, the moment the Tenth Prince caught sight of Yingtang, he dashed over like he was seeing his own birth father. “Ninth Brother! You’ve finally come! On the days you weren’t here, this younger brother couldn’t even enjoy his meals properly!”
Yingtang threw an arm around Old Ten’s shoulders and smiled secretively. “Come, Big Brother will take you to eat a massive melon!”
Beside the dining table, Yingtang lowered his voice and vividly recounted the heroic saga of the Eighth Prince’s household and the “bitter melon spirit.”
The Tenth Prince listened with eyes wide open and jaw dropped, before erupting into thunderous, howling laughter, prompting the Thirteenth and Fourteenth Princes at the neighboring table to repeatedly cast curious glances over.
The Fourteenth Prince was only eleven years old, right at the age where he loved joining in on the bustle. Holding his rice bowl, he trotted right over. “Ninth Brother, Tenth Brother, what are you guys talking about? You’re laughing so happily, let this little brother hear it too!”
The Tenth Prince pushed him away in disdain. “Go on, go on. These are matters for adults; little kids like you aren’t allowed to listen.”
The Fourteenth Prince rolled his eyes in defiance. “I’m turning sixteen and can marry a primary consort—how am I little?”
The Thirteenth Prince dismantled the argument from the side, saying, “Imperial Father said that anyone studying in the Upper Study is a little prince. So, Tenth Brother, you’re in the exact same boat as us.”
Rendered completely speechless, the Tenth Prince looked toward Yingtang for rescue. “Ninth Brother, look at these younger brothers of mine—they’re completely out of line, actually ganging up to bully me.”
That swell of “elder brother pride” that had risen in Yingtang earlier now evolved into a solemn sense of responsibility as an older brother.
He was the eldest among those present, and he had an obligation to protect his younger brothers and clear up their confusion.
“Alright, Tenth Brother, as the older brother you shouldn’t bicker with them.”
He then looked toward the Thirteenth and Fourteenth Princes. “Since the two of you want to know, Ninth Brother won’t hide it from you—who called me such a good older brother? But you must keep it confidential and not leak a word outside.”
Oh wow! Ninth Brother is going to tell a secret!
The two youths’ eyes shone brightly. “Alright, alright, good Ninth Brother, hurry up and tell us!”
“I’ll keep it confidential too.”
Hmm, whose voice was that?
Everyone looked over, and it turned out to be the Twelfth Prince.
Unlike the other imperial princes, the Twelfth Prince had been raised by Empress Dowager Xiaozhuang’s personal maid, Suwamala. His birth mother was a noble lady with neither favor nor status; relatively speaking, his background was somewhat “humble,” which made his personality rather cautious and reserved.
He usually didn’t cozy up to anyone nor pick fights with anyone, acting as a transparent background figure among the brothers.
This was actually the very first time he had actively joined in on the fun and commotion.
The truth was, he was simply far too eager to know what on earth could possibly make Tenth Brother laugh like that.
Right at the peak of his “brotherly love” explosion, the Ninth Brother was more than happy to welcome this iceberg Twelfth Brother’s newfound closeness. He invited him to sit down and repeated the entire tale of “Eighth Brother eating bitter melon and growing a bitter melon face.”
“Hahaha—”
The Twelfth Prince was relatively restrained as he had always been quiet and scholarly; he covered his mouth and laughed softly.
The Thirteenth and Fourteenth Princes, being young and accustomed to being pampered, laughed without the slightest restraint, appearing utterly uninhibited and boisterous.
After listening to the noise for a while, Yingtang found it grating on his ears. “Alright, alright, there are still classes in the afternoon—everyone hurry back and rest.”
“Alright.”
“Thank you, Ninth Brother. Hearing this story made me genuinely happy—take this.”
Before leaving, the Fourteenth Prince shoved the chicken drumstick from his own hands straight into Yingtang’s grasp.
Yingtang looked down at this shiny, plump, greasy chicken drumstick, and then recalled the Fourteenth Prince’s wild, unhinged laughter. Did he happen to splash any spit onto it?
Ew.
He tossed it away in disgust.
His brotherly love slowly evaporated.
“Old Ten, I’m heading back too.”
The Tenth Prince looked somewhat reluctant to part. “Ninth Brother, remember to come see me more often.”
Ever since the Ninth Brother got married, he stopped coming to the Upper Study, and since he was so glued to his Ninth Sister-in-law, the time he spent hanging out with the Ninth Brother had drastically decreased.
“Alright, I’ve noted it down. You study hard.”
Yingtang departed with an air of carefree detachment, completely unaware of just how massive a storm his little trip was about to trigger.
The imperial princes’ afternoon curriculum consisted of archery, horseback riding, and wrestling (buku), which required study companions (banshu) and personal attendants (hahazhu) to spar and practice alongside them.
Among young boys, after trading a few blows and scuffles, bonds and friendships were forged at lightning speed. Therefore, taking advantage of a rest break, the Fourteenth Prince leaked the secret, spilling the entire affair concerning the Eighth Prince’s household out into the open.
The Fourteenth Prince had a sharp memory and a nimble tongue, and he had even intuitively unlocked acting skills, recounting the morning meal incident with rich, vivid descriptions and exaggerated expressions.
Oh my, these guys are actually treating us to an imperial prince putting on a live performance? Talk about opening one’s eyes.
The crowd of onlookers grew larger and larger. The playmates of the Tenth, Twelfth, and Thirteenth Princes also quietly edged closer, perking up their ears with an intensity far surpassing anything they ever showed in the Upper Study.
The Fourteenth Prince was only eleven years old, and his personal attendants were all quite young—ranging between nine and twelve years old—still innocent, lively, and full of spirit. Unable to suppress the curiosity raging in their hearts, they swarmed around the Fourteenth Prince and fired off questions.
“What? Primary Consort Eighth scratched Eunuch Wei’s face?”
“What, Primary Consort Eighth ate bitter melon until she threw up?”
“The Eighth Prince’s face turned green? Just like a bitter melon?”
“Is that for real?!”
The Fourteenth Prince refused to accept any skepticism, lifting his chin high in the air. “Would this young master ever tell lies?”
“If you don’t believe me, ask Thirteenth Brother and Twelfth Brother—they both heard it.”
Singled out by name, the Thirteenth Prince felt this wasn’t quite right since he had promised Ninth Brother to keep it a secret, but he couldn’t let Fourteenth lose face either, so he gave a nod of confirmation.
The Twelfth Prince nodded as well. He hadn’t actually spoken out loud, after all—that shouldn’t count as leaking a secret, right?
Besides, wouldn’t it be fine if a few more people knew about this anyway? Gossip was always more fun when more people discussed it.
The Twelfth Prince successfully rationalized it to himself and let go of any psychological burden completely.
“It really is true!” The crowd gasped in utter amazement, believing it completely!
The study companions and attendants of the princes were all children from prominent aristocratic and high-ranking ministerial families. Believing that their own amas (fathers) had seen the Eighth Prince before, the children all rushed back home to seek verification.
“Ama, Ama, have you heard? The Eighth Prince couldn’t afford to eat and went to beg the Fourth Prince for food.”
“Ama, Ama, have you ever seen the Eighth Prince? I heard his face looks just like a bitter melon.”
“Ama, Ama, let me tell you a secret—the Eighth Prince has turned into a bitter melon spirit!”
All the veteran amas: “…”
Absolute utter nonsense!
Still… the Eighth Prince’s face did indeed run a bit long. If someone were to paint his face green, it really would look rather similar… now that you mention it…
Stop right there. You must not keep thinking about this.
………
The older study companions and attendants weren’t childish enough to run home seeking verification, but they inevitably ended up discussing the matter with their older brothers at home.
Consequently, by the very next day, all the high ministers attending the morning court session found themselves unable to exercise self-restraint, continuously stealing sideways glances to peer at the Eighth Prince.
Yingtang remained entirely oblivious to the fact that this “secret” was about to sweep across the entire imperial capital. Having thoroughly enjoyed the simple joys of playing the “older brother,” he trotted back happily to the Eastern Four-Halls.
He had previously dispatched a small eunuch to pass on word telling Wuyunzhu to dine by herself without worrying about him.
The eastern second chamber was quiet and peaceful. Stepping inside, he saw that his primary consort was taking an afternoon nap, her sleeping visage peaceful and beautiful. Resisting the sudden urge to lean down and kiss her, he obediently slipped into bed beside her to take a nap of his own.
Half an hour later, both of them woke up. Just as they were pondering what to do for the afternoon, Li Dacheng walked in.
“Your Highness, the matter you instructed this servant to investigate this morning has been cleared up.”