She looked at Bo Liye and, amidst Bo Liye’s shocked gaze, said slowly, “My grandmother passed away when I was five. It was essentially following her husband in death. After my grandfather died, she attempted suicide three times, finally succeeding on the last try by slitting her wrists.”
As it approached twelve o’clock, which should have been the hottest part of the day, a layer of cold sweat gradually broke out on Bo Liye’s back.
When Qin Mingyan said these words in the calmest of tones, Bo Liye realized she actually knew very little about her. She even secretly pinched her own thigh before looking at Qin Mingyan’s expression again.
What she saw was the same expression, no sadness, no regret, as if she were speaking about something perfectly ordinary.
Bo Liye felt her hands turning cold. She instinctively asked, “Did no one ever try to talk her out of it?”
In truth, she shouldn’t have asked that. In an era more than a decade ago, psychological issues generally weren’t taken seriously. But Bo Liye was so shocked that the question slipped out.
“It was useless. My grandmother loved my grandfather too much, so she couldn’t endure a world without him,” Qin Mingyan continued very calmly. “Just like my mother. Even though she now has the best medical care you provide for her, her physical condition still hasn’t recovered to that of a normal person. No amount of treatment compares to that man visiting her once.”
She stared at the osmanthus tree, her eyes blinking once. Even now, she could clearly remember coming home from school as a child, reaching this spot and being urgently informed that her mother had attempted suicide.
Everyone looked at her with pity, yet those gazes were filled with mockery and disgust. No one dared to touch her or her mother, for fear of catching some ‘disease.’
It wasn’t until the ambulance arrived outside the alley and a doctor carried her inside that those biased gazes were finally cut off.
“The story of my mother and grandmother isn’t a secret in Huashui Alley. Even my biological father, the first time he met me, wanted to have me taken for a psychological evaluation.”
Speaking to this point, a hint of something close to loathing surfaced in Qin Mingyan’s eyes: “Everyone thinks our whole family is abnormal and avoids us like the plague. That’s why that grandma just now was so afraid I’d do something to her child.”
Qin Mingyan looked at Bo Liye, paused, and said, “They were all staring at you probably because they think you’ve been deceived by me. No one wants to associate with a mental patient.”
She waited quietly for Bo Liye’s judgment.
Even if she hadn’t said it, Bo Liye would have been ‘warned’ by some busybody if she came to Huashui Alley a few more times.
From childhood until now, anyone who knew about this would keep their distance, dodging her as if she were a pestilence, and telling anyone who was willing to associate with her about it.
They were afraid she would suddenly go mad like her family members. They called her family lunatics and claimed their ancestors lacked virtue, which is why they were all ‘crazy.’
She knew she should have hidden this deep in her heart, never letting Bo Liye know even a fraction of it. But when Bo Liye comforted the little girl and still used her as a role model, Qin Mingyan suddenly couldn’t bear to deceive Bo Liye any longer.
She was far from being as pure or excellent as Bo Liye imagined. She was selfish and cold. Even before Bo Liye had asked her to be a tutor, she had entangled herself with Bo Liye in the role of a voyeur. Even if she only received a few words in response, and even if she only saw a slight change in Bo Liye’s expression because of her, it brought her immense satisfaction.
But she had said it anyway.
“You’re…”
Bo Liye frowned, seemingly so disgusted with Qin Mingyan that she couldn’t speak.
Qin Mingyan’s clenched fists trembled incessantly, but she forced herself to meet Bo Liye’s gaze and said, “If you also feel…”
Bo Liye suddenly let out a sneer.
“Qin Mingyan, do you think I’m too much trouble and you don’t want to serve me anymore, so you made up this kind of story to stop me from coming to find you?”
Bo Liye let go of Qin Mingyan’s hand, crossed her arms, and stared coldly at her.
“Is it because I went too far last night? Didn’t we say last night that the past was settled? Or is it because I didn’t listen to you this morning and slept for an extra half hour, so you’re pulling this stunt with me?”
Bo Liye’s logic was simple. Qin Mingyan’s grandmother and mother were trapped by love, what did that have to do with Qin Mingyan herself? She wasn’t an uneducated person, there were no medical records stating such a thing was hereditary, so why should she take it seriously?
Even if it were true, given how Qin Mingyan’s emotions toward love were practically zero, if she truly could love her so desperately that she became completely obedient, it would actually save Bo Liye a lot of effort.
Hadn’t Qin Mingyan brought it up just to get some sympathy?
Seeing as Qin Mingyan’s performance last night had been decent, Bo Liye suppressed her temper and didn’t explode: “I’m starving to death. Are you going to accompany me for lunch or not?”
Qin Mingyan looked at her, her pupils trembling violently: “You… truly don’t mind?”
She really was putting on an act.
How had she not noticed Qin Mingyan had a talent for this before?
Bo Liye stared at Qin Mingyan with a bizarre expression, unable to tell if Qin Mingyan was being serious or joking.
“Are you… seriously asking me that?”
Qin Mingyan gave a very earnest nod.
“Ha!”
Bo Liye was truly being laughed out of her mind.
She felt she needed to explain things a bit more clearly to Qin Mingyan.
So, Bo Liye dragged Qin Mingyan toward the exit of Huashui Alley, setting the rules as they walked: “I don’t care if your mother, your grandmother, or even eighteen generations of your ancestors were ‘love seeds.’ Haven’t you failed to inherit those genes? Taking a step back, even if you did inherit them, so what? You are a toy I bought with my money. You have to do whatever I tell you to do. As for anything else, what does it have to do with me?”
“Qin Mingyan, I’m in a good mood today so I won’t hold it against you. If you ever think of another weird reason like this to try and leave my side, I won’t let you off easily.”
She said the last few words very slowly. As her voice dropped, it carried a bit of a provocative edge. She did indeed take action, lightly tracing a circle on a sensitive spot on Qin Mingyan’s waist.
Qin Mingyan immediately let out a soft, sharp breath, unable to bear it.
Bo Liye gave a hum of laughter and continued pulling Qin Mingyan along. Even when other residents of the alley saw them, she openly held Qin Mingyan’s hand.
It didn’t matter if Qin Mingyan had been misunderstood before, from now on, she would prove for her that Qin Mingyan hadn’t inherited any strange genes. If anyone dared to gossip in front of her, she would certainly make them pay the price.
Being pulled along, Qin Mingyan trailed half a step behind, just enough to gaze at Bo Liye’s back.
Just like when she first came to Haichuan, she had secretly watched Bo Liye from behind countless times.
From behind crowds of people, from inconspicuous second-floor windows, from behind thick tree trunks, and from various dark corners, she followed Bo Liye greedily.
Until she was no longer satisfied with the status quo and wanted more communication with Bo Liye, which led her to start sending those kinds of text messages, pathologically confessing her desire for her.
As they were about to exit Huashui Alley, Qin Mingyan looked toward the window of a car parked on the roadside.
The dilapidated old car was covered in a thick layer of dust, having not been washed for who knows how long. Even the clarity of the window was low, with countless dust particles blurring the things reflected in it.
Including Qin Mingyan’s face.
She was as beautiful as her mother had been in her youth, and just as obsessive, to the point that everyone who came into contact with them would turn and flee the moment they understood them.
But Bo Liye said she didn’t mind.
Bo Liye didn’t mind her family, didn’t mind the way others looked at her, and only required her to stay peacefully by her side.
Qin Mingyan turned her head and looked back at Bo Liye’s silhouette. At the moment they exited the alley, sunlight flooded Bo Liye’s back, golden and shimmering as if she were radiating light.
Qin Mingyan quickened her pace slightly, drawing closer and lightly sniffing Bo Liye’s hair, attempting to catch some of the light from her.
But as she sniffed, she felt that the fragrance on Bo Liye was too faint, the scent of the body wash only lingered on the surface.
If only, one day, her own scent could soak through her from the inside out.