(TORREN) The drive ended in the basement parking of a high-rise.
He led me through a private elevator and the kitchen of a restaurant, emerging into a separate dining room set up with a single table and a terrace overlooking the city.
Soft music played in the background, and a server stood ready.
I sat down, suddenly feeling awkward and out of place.
Theo ordered a whiskey and looked at me expectantly.
“Anything for you?” I shook my head, and the server left.
Theo leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table as he studied me.
“You hate it,” he said.
“What?
No.
I don’t,” I lied, and his knowing nod made my face heat up.
“Is it being here with me, or is it the place?” I sighed, glancing around.
He’d obviously gone to a lot of trouble, but it felt…too much.
Too adult.
Too polished.
“It’s fine,” I said, waving it off.
He leaned back, lifting his brow.
“A little bit of both?” I hesitated before admitting.
“It’s just…uncomfortable.
I’m sorry.
This whole thing is already hard, and this place feels like…” I trailed off, unsure how to articulate it.
“I just feel really out of place.” The server returned with his drink as Theo nodded thoughtfully.
Theo turned to him.
“Could you help us with something?
We’d like to move out to the terrace.
Could we just move a couple of chairs and whatever table you have?
It doesn’t have to be big.” My face burned hotter.
“It’s fine, really,” I protested.
He ignored me, smiling at the server as they worked to rearrange everything outside.
When it was ready, he waved me over, and I followed him into the cool night air.
The terrace overlooked the city, the sounds and breeze replacing the soft jazz from inside.
Theo poured me a glass of wine himself, then lit a cigarette.
He smiled as I settled beside him.
“Is this better?” “Yeah,” I admitted, my shoulders relaxing.
“This is better.” We sat in silence for a while, the glow of the city lights painting everything in gold and silver.
I took out my vape, and we smoked quietly together.
Theo liked calling the shots.
I knew this about him, but he also did things like this, being the provider and taking care of people.
It felt odd being in this role.
I was used to being the one asking a girl out, paying the bill, and doing the whole dance.
I never imagined being on this side of things.
Theo made it even more pronounced, handling everything, picking me up, and the gifts.
“Are you normally like this?” I asked after a while, breaking the silence.
“Like what?” He seemed genuinely curious.
“This…role you play.” The corners of his lips turned upward.
“I wouldn’t call it a role.
It’s just the way I am.” I nodded.
That tracked.
“You do bring it out in me even more,” he added after a moment, taking a drag.
“Why?” “Maybe the age difference.” “I thought you were used to that,” I quipped, smirking.
He chuckled, exhaling a trail of smoke.
“Not like this.
I’m used to an age difference, but not this big of a gap.
I’m not used to dating nineteen-year-olds.” My heart skipped a beat.
Dating?
“So, what are we doing here?” “Spending time together,” he replied simply.
“Is that it?” “For now, yes.
That’s it.” I fiddled with the stem of my glass.
“What if I change my mind?
Decide I don’t want anything further than this?” He shrugged.
“Then you change your mind.” The simplicity of his answer threw me.
I took another sip of wine, gathering the courage to ask what had been gnawing at me.
His eyes met mine, holding my gaze as if he sensed its importance.
“I need to ask you something.” I swallowed hard.
“I’m not sure what this is or if things will change between us, but…” “Yes?” he prompted.
“While…whatever this is, is going on, I need you not to fuck around with other people,” I said quietly, my voice lacking the force I wanted.
Theo’s smile spread slowly.
“You are jealous.” I nodded, looking him in the eye.
“I’m not into sharing.
It’s a deal-breaker for me, even if nothing is happening yet.
It can be a deal-breaker for you too, I get that.” He took a long drag, then extinguished the cigarette.
Extending his hand over the table, he said, “Come on.” After a moment’s hesitation, I placed my hand in his.
He intertwined his fingers with mine.
“It’s not unreasonable.
If it’s a deal-breaker for you, then I won’t do it.” I stared down at our hands, warmth spreading through me.
“You really want to have sex with me that badly?” I joked, and he laughed heartily.
I smiled, watching him.
There it was.
Theo’s genuine laugh.
I’d caught him off guard, and he hadn’t had time to compose a more measured response.
I chuckled along, and soon we were both laughing.
He released my hand and playfully ruffled my hair.
I pushed his hand away.
“I’ve already told you that I do,” he said, his grin wide.
Our food arrived, and we chatted and drank.
Theo stayed true to his word and didn’t make any moves.
When we finished, he gestured for us to move our chairs closer together.
Settling beside him, I tried to relax, but my body tensed as soon as his arm draped over my shoulders.
“What are you doing?” I asked, side-eyeing him.
“Getting you used to me,” he said with a smirk.
He laughed when he caught the face I made.
“You jump a foot in the air every time I touch you.” I looked away, focusing on the city lights in the distance as I took a slow drag from my vape and he lit another cigarette.
My heart was pounding too fast to feel comfortable.
“Maybe it’s because I don’t want you to,” I said quietly after a moment.
Theo hummed.
“I don’t think that’s true.” His hand slid lower, his thumb tracing over the bare skin of my arm.
Goosebumps rose instantly.
“I think it’s the opposite,” he added, his voice soft but sure.
I exhaled heavily, rubbing my face with one hand.
“This is so weird,” I muttered.
“Is it really so foreign to you?
Being attracted to a man?” “Yes,” I admitted, my voice barely audible.
“Well, you’re in college.
It’s a time to experiment.” I chuckled at his matter-of-fact tone.
“I thought that only applied to girls,” I said, bringing the vape back to my lips.
“Why should it?
It’s okay for a girl to explore these things, but a man can’t?
It doesn’t have to define you, you know.” I shrugged, a scowl forming as I looked out over the city.
“It feels like it does,” I muttered.
“And it’s not like you know what you’re talking about.
Haven’t you always known?” “Yes, I have,” he admitted.
“But it was different when I was your age.
I tried denying it and even had a girlfriend.” I turned to him, startled.
“Seriously?” He nodded, smiling at my reaction.
“It didn’t last, obviously,” he said with a laugh.
Theo brought the cigarette to his lips, holding it differently than I was used to seeing, not like a joint or a vape.
His fingers extended gracefully, the cigarette balanced between his index and middle fingers.
With a practiced flick of his thumb, he sent the ashes away.
Somehow, even this simple act looked elegant when he did it.
When his hand moved slightly, I found myself reaching out without thinking, my fingers brushing his wrist.
He looked at me, curiosity flickering in his eyes.
“Can I try it?” I asked.
His lips parted in surprise, but he nodded.
He didn’t hand it over, though, I hadn’t expected him to.
Instead, he brought it close to me.
Leaning in, I closed my lips around it, inhaling the smoke deeply.
My hand rested on his wrist, steadying it until I was done.
As I exhaled, I noticed how close he’d stayed, his gaze fixed intently on my lips.
“How was that?” he asked, his eyes meeting mine.
I shrugged.
“It’s okay.
Tastes weird.” “Of course it tastes weird.
You’re used to smoking minty watermelon,” he teased, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
He tightened his arm around my shoulders, sending a sharp jolt through me.
Leaning in, his gaze scanned my face, lingering.
His fingers flicked the cigarette away before reaching up to my chin, tilting it upward.
I froze, unable to breathe, as his thumb traced soft patterns on my arm.
He seemed frozen too, his face close enough that I could feel the warmth of his breath.
A smile tugged at my lips as I realized what he was doing.
“Are you waiting for me to ask you to do it?” Theo’s lips curved into a smile, and he nodded.
“That’s exactly right,” he whispered, his voice almost daring me.
I glanced at his lips, parted slightly, his intent so clear it made my heart pound.
The pull between us was magnetic, but I shook my head, meeting his gaze again.
“No,” I said softly.
His lips pressed together, a quiet laugh escaping him.
He leaned back, giving me space, and I finally remembered how to breathe.
“Okay, then,” he said, his voice calm as he took a deep breath.
I bit my lip, guilt creeping in.
“I’m sorry, Theo,” I offered.
“It’s okay,” he repeated, his tone reassuring.
“I can wait,” he added, tightening his arm around my shoulders.
Sure, he could wait.
But for how long?
*** The drive home was quiet, punctuated only by small, casual comments.
He mentioned he’d be leaving the city in a couple of days, a fact that lingered in my mind.
When we reached my building, he leaned over and kissed my cheek.
Back in my room, I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at the black box on my nightstand.
After a moment, I opened it and slid the bracelet onto my wrist.
The metal was cool against my skin.
It wasn’t something I’d ever have chosen for myself, but as I turned my wrist, watching it catch the light, I realized he’d been right.
I liked how it looked on me.