Xu Youqing had no idea how long Jin Zongmin's "novelty" toward her would last. Perhaps soon enough, he would grow bored, and then she could return to her original path. But for now, she had to go along with him—she couldn't afford to anger him.
She couldn't refuse him outright. What if Jin Zongmin changed his mind? What about Han Zheng? He still hadn't been released.
Jin Zongmin was still waiting for her answer, his hand lingering in her hair, stroking it idly as if playing with some treasured possession.
The intimate gesture made Xu Youqing instinctively shrink back slightly, edging away a little. "I… still have classes."
She didn't reject him coldly and head-on the way she used to.
This clearly pleased Jin Zongmin.
The corner of his lips curved up slightly as his fingertips wound around a strand of her hair, toying with it. His tone was consultative. "It won't interfere with your classes. Come over on the weekend—how about that?"
She couldn't very well make another excuse. She was afraid that if she said another "no," whatever good mood Jin Zongmin had just developed would vanish in an instant.
She answered softly, "…Okay."
"Where do you like to stay?" Jin Zongmin asked.
"…Fusui Hutong, I suppose." Xu Youqing chose a place she was at least somewhat familiar with.
"It's not far from your school, but it's still a bit of a distance." Jin Zongmin seemed to think for a moment, then turned his head to look at her. "How about this—I'll pick out a place near your campus? More convenient."
"No need!" Xu Youqing's heart leaped, the words tumbling out.
Near campus? What if she ran into classmates or professors… She didn't dare think about it.
"Fusui Hutong is perfect, really."
Jin Zongmin let out a low chuckle. "You like it there?"
Xu Youqing nodded.
His fingertip lifted her chin, making her look back at him. "Xu Youqing, this is the first time you've been this… obedient with me."
Jin Zongmin's gaze was too ambiguous, too unreadable. It made Xu Youqing's cheeks burn, and she instinctively averted her eyes.
"You see," Jin Zongmin's thumb traced her jawline, his voice low and coaxing, "whatever you say, I'll go along with it. You want to go back to school—I let you go back."
He paused, a dark glint shifting in his eyes as he leaned in close, his breath nearly touching her. "Don't you think… I deserve a little reward?"
Before Xu Youqing could react, his lips had already captured hers. This kiss was nothing like the brief, seal-like one from before—it carried obvious aggression, intent on going deeper.
His palm also locked onto the small of Xu Youqing's back.
Xu Youqing's body stiffened. Almost instinctively, she turned her head away, her hands pressing against his chest, her voice tinged with panic. "Can you… give me some time?"
Jin Zongmin's movements stopped.
He looked at her, so close before him—her lashes trembling with nervousness, the hand pressed against his chest shaking slightly.
Jin Zongmin didn't press further. Instead, he lowered his head and gently kissed the back of her hand where it rested against his chest.
The kiss was featherlight, like a wisp of down landing on skin—yet it unsettled her more than all his earlier forcefulness.
"Fine." Jin Zongmin said with a smile.
He had all the time in the world. From the moment she nodded and stayed, all her time from now on belonged to him.
…
Two days later, Han Zheng was released.
When Han Zheng's call came in, Xu Youqing was at the library.
"Youqing." His voice was hoarse, as if he hadn't had a good night's sleep in a long time. "Did I scare you? Are you angry with me?"
Hearing Han Zheng's voice, Xu Youqing felt a mix of emotions.
She knew that matter could no longer be postponed. But she didn't want him to be shocked the moment he got out.
In truth, she had thought it over seriously—even without Jin Zongmin standing between them, the problems that had surfaced between her and Han Zheng had already left this relationship hanging by a thread. There were many questions in her heart she wanted to ask Han Zheng.
But at this point, those no longer mattered.
She had already agreed to Jin Zongmin. Under the current circumstances, there was no possibility of continuing with Han Zheng.
"Han Zheng, as long as you're alright." She said in a low voice. That was what she cared about most right now.
"I want to see you." Han Zheng's voice was hoarse.
"Go home and check on your mother and Xiaoxiao first. They've been worried sick."
She paused. "When you're back… let's meet once more."
She planned to make everything clear when they met.
Han Zheng had also heard that his mother had fallen ill from worry, so he didn't insist. "Then let's meet on Saturday, alright?"
"Okay." Xu Youqing agreed.
…
Thursday afternoon, Jin Zongmin came to pick up Xu Youqing for dinner.
At the table, Jin Zongmin brought it up casually, as if it were an afterthought. "Han Zheng's matter has been resolved."
"Thank you." Xu Youqing said quietly, holding her chopsticks.
"What about you?" Jin Zongmin picked up a slice of beef and placed it in Xu Youqing's bowl, his gaze landing on her face. "How are things between you and him?"
"I'll handle it."
Jin Zongmin took a sip of water. "I don't want you two meeting again."
Xu Youqing held her chopsticks without speaking.
"If you're going to end it, a phone call is enough to make things clear. There's no need to meet."
Jin Zongmin's tone brooked no argument.
Xu Youqing's fingers tightened around her chopsticks. She didn't like the feeling of being controlled by him in everything.
"I'll handle it myself." Xu Youqing spoke up.
Seeing that she still intended to meet Han Zheng, Jin Zongmin's expression darkened. "I said I don't want you two meeting. If you can't say it over the phone, you can have Secretary Gao do it."
Xu Youqing finally couldn't hold back. She looked up at him. "Can you not be like this?"
"The moment he's mentioned, you get worked up." Jin Zongmin let out a cold laugh, leaning slightly forward, bringing an invisible pressure. "Do you know whose woman you are now?"
She bit her lip and said nothing. He was too domineering—domineering to the point of being unreasonable.
Jin Zongmin looked at Xu Youqing, silent for a few seconds, seemingly forcing down his anger.
He reached out and rested his hand on the back of her chair, softening his voice. "I don't want to argue with you."
Seeing that Xu Youqing remained cold-faced with no intention of responding, Jin Zongmin paused, then spoke slowly and deliberately:
"If you insist on trying, you'd better think about it—is it easier for Han Zheng to offend Ji Zhongyun, or… to offend me?"
It was a naked threat, and she could hear it clearly.
Xu Youqing set down her chopsticks, her voice dry. "I'm full. Can I leave? I want to go back to school."
She was just about to stand up when Jin Zongmin reached out and grabbed her wrist—not hard, but enough that she couldn't pull free.
He looked at her tense face, his tone easing slightly. "Don't let some irrelevant people ruin everyone's mood."
Xu Youqing said nothing, nor did she look at him.
Jin Zongmin softened his voice further, his thumb brushing lightly against the inside of her wrist bone.
"Other matters, I can let you have your way," he said, looking at her. "But this one, no."
…
In the end, Xu Youqing was afraid. She was afraid that Jin Zongmin would actually do something to Han Zheng. He seemed even more dangerous than that person called "Ji Zhongyun."
After returning, she called Han Zheng.
"Han Zheng, let's break up."
She paused. "What I said before wasn't entirely out of anger."
There was a long silence on the other end of the line.
"Youqing, you're still angry with me, aren't you? Everything I said was in anger, I—"
"Han Zheng, listen to me," Xu Youqing interrupted him. "Think about it seriously. When we're together, are you really happy? The kind of happy without pressure, without forcing it."
"Did what I said that day in anger hurt you? I apologize, I'll change!" Han Zheng refused to give up.
"It was said in anger, but it was also what you truly felt, wasn't it?" Xu Youqing closed her eyes. "We're both tired, Han Zheng."
"I don't agree! I want to see you." Han Zheng hung up as he said this.
He cornered Xu Youqing downstairs at her dormitory.
Han Zheng drove to a secluded roadside and stopped.
The atmosphere inside the car was stagnant.
"Xu Youqing, how can you always be so calm?" Han Zheng gave a bitter smile. "It's as if no matter what happens, you can always extricate yourself quickly, as composed as an outsider."
Xu Youqing looked at the bare plane tree trunks outside the window and said softly, "Aside from life and death, there's really nothing that can't be gotten through."
Han Zheng was silent. He knew that the accidental death of her parents had carved some kind of self-protective mechanism into her heart.
The two got out of the car and sat on a bench by the roadside.
This time, Xu Youqing said a lot. Han Zheng suddenly realized that this didn't seem to be a whim on her part.
She spoke of the haste between them, of the rough edges that had never been smoothed out, of the pressure and exhaustion they gave each other.
And there was the suspicion she didn't voice aloud.
Han Zheng had never imagined she had thought so much.
Han Zheng listened quietly the whole time, without getting agitated like last time. His calmness this time was unusual—only the rims of his eyes gradually reddened.
He turned to look at Xu Youqing. "Feelings built over so many years between us aren't something you can just let go of."
"But perhaps we truly aren't suited for each other." Xu Youqing turned to look at him, a sheen of tears in her eyes as well. "If we force it, we'll only drain away the last bit of affection we have."
"Why…" Han Zheng's voice choked up. "How did things between us come to this?"
"Where exactly did it start going wrong?"
He was asking Xu Youqing, and also asking himself.
Xu Youqing shook her head. She didn't know either—how it had come to this.
Han Zheng slumped back against the bench, and after a long while, said hoarsely, "Fine. I'll listen to you. Give yourself some time, and give me some time too. Let's both think it over carefully."
But Han Zheng didn't know that she had already thought it through very clearly. It was just that there were some things she still couldn't bring herself to say—she didn't dare to imagine how he would react if he knew.
Just as the two were about to leave, Xu Youqing's phone vibrated abruptly.
A string of numbers appeared on the screen, no name attached, but she had a bad feeling about it.
She glanced at Han Zheng beside her, walked a few steps away to stand under a tree, and only then took a deep breath before pressing the answer button.
"Where are you?" Jin Zongmin's voice came through the receiver, his tone unreadable.
"…At school." Xu Youqing heard her own dry voice, laced with guilt.
"Dormitory, or the library?"
"At… the dormitory building." She lied, her heart pounding so fast it felt like it might leap out of her throat.
"I'll come pick you up," Jin Zongmin said.
"Don't come…" Xu Youqing refused hastily, then explained, "I'm pretty busy today."
"Busy?" Jin Zongmin repeated, his tone flat.
"Yeah, the coursework has been heavy lately." She tried to make her voice sound natural.
There was a few seconds of silence on the other end of the line. Those seconds stretched on like centuries, and Xu Youqing could almost hear her own heart thumping.
"Alright," Jin Zongmin finally spoke, his voice devoid of any emotion, "Don't push yourself too hard. Take care of your health."
She hung up the phone, feeling uneasy. The wind blew past, and the back of her shirt was damp with cold sweat.
After Xu Youqing left, Han Zheng sat in the car, staring at her retreating figure for a long time.
He took out his phone and dialed Fang Dayu's number. "Dayu, lately… keep an eye on Youqing for me."
…
By the floor-to-ceiling window of the study, Jin Zongmin held a half-burned cigarette between his fingers.
The screen of his phone was lit up in front of him, displaying a photo.
The shot was taken from a distance—on a secluded roadside, Xu Youqing and Han Zheng sat side by side on a bench.
She had lied.
To see him, she had lied.