1980, Stone Village, Harbin.
The village chief’s family was celebrating a joyous occasion, and the entire village was bustling with excitement.
Lin Qiao’er got up before dawn, washed her face in the dark, and hurried to the village chief’s house.
She was the commune’s cook, and whenever someone in the village had a wedding or funeral, they liked to invite her to take charge of the cooking. Though the work was exhausting and the pay meager, Lin Qiao’er never refused.
In front of the stove, steam rose in waves. Lin Qiao’er rolled up her sleeves, revealing two arms as thin as dry twigs. Her hair was somewhat dull and yellowish, and for a twenty-year-old girl, she looked as if she were malnourished.
From five in the morning until three in the afternoon, she had cooked over a dozen tables’ worth of dishes. Her calves trembled uncontrollably.
When the final plate of braised pork came out of the wok, she finally let out a sigh of relief. She untied her apron, folded it neatly, and placed it beside the stove.
“Qiao’er, you’ve worked hard!” The village chief’s daughter-in-law came out with a bowl of rice and dishes, greeting her with a warm smile.
Lin Qiao’er waved her hand, about to say she wasn’t hungry, when a strong, greasy smell wafted into her nostrils—the aroma of braised pork mixed with the pungent odor of pig intestines. Her stomach churned violently, and a surge of sour liquid rose to her throat.
“Ugh—”
She quickly turned her face away, bent over, and retched a few times toward the corner of the wall. Nothing came out, but her stomach felt like it was churning, so uncomfortable that tears welled up in her eyes.
“Qiao’er? Are you all right?” The village chief’s daughter-in-law walked over, patting her back with concern. “Did you overwork yourself?”
“N-no, I’m fine. Maybe I ate something bad.” Lin Qiao’er straightened up, wiping the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand. Her face was pale, and her lips had lost their color.
The village chief’s daughter-in-law studied her, suddenly frowned, and muttered, “Why do you look so pale… vomiting and all yellow, almost like you’re pregnant?”
Lin Qiao’er’s heart skipped a beat, and she swayed slightly, almost losing her balance.
Pregnant?
A memory buried deep in her heart tore open, flooding her mind.
The day before the educated youths returned to the city, the village chief had invited some of them for a meal and asked her to cook. On her way back, a man—whether drunk or drugged—had forcibly dragged her into a wheat field.
Though she was strong, she couldn’t break free.
After it was over, the man fell asleep.
Terrified and panicked, she fled in a hurry.
Lin Qiao’er hadn’t dared to tell anyone.
Come to think of it, she hadn’t had her period for three months now.
At this thought, cold sweat broke out on Lin Qiao’er’s forehead, glistening on her fair skin. She whispered an explanation, “Maybe I ate something unclean this morning.”
The village chief’s daughter-in-law clicked her tongue twice. “Look at my mouth—you’re still an unmarried girl.”
She pulled a red envelope from her pocket and pressed it into Lin Qiao’er’s hand. “This is your hard-earned money. Take it.”
Lin Qiao’er took the red envelope, squeezed it lightly—it was thin, probably containing about two yuan.
Just as she was about to tuck it into her pocket, the village chief’s daughter-in-law leaned closer and lowered her voice. “Keep this money for yourself. Don’t let your aunt take it again.
Their whole family is plump and sturdy, while you’re as thin as a bean sprout. You work like a horse for them all year round—you should save some money for yourself.”
Lin Qiao’er’s lips moved as if to say, “We’re all family,” but the words died on her tongue. She simply nodded.
The village chief’s daughter-in-law said no more and turned away to attend to her tasks.
Lin Qiao’er stood where she was, her palms drenched in sweat. The red envelope was crumpled in her tight grip, and she even forgot to put it in her pocket.
The village chief’s daughter-in-law’s careless remark felt like a bucket of cold water poured over her head.
It couldn’t be… it couldn’t be such a coincidence, could it?
Lin Qiao’er didn’t dare to think any further.
She lowered her head and walked out. Passing by the courtyard gate, she saw several women sitting on stone stools, chatting while cracking melon seeds.
As she approached, their voices drifted into her ears, neither too loud nor too soft.
“That girl is a jinx, she lost her parents at a young age.”
“Exactly. She’s already twenty and still unmarried. In our day, she’d have had two kids by now.”
“She’s a pitiful one. Her aunt isn’t her real mother, after all. Who’s going to arrange these things for her?”
“Ah, but that Feng Xingmei is really something! Occupying her niece’s house, making the girl work like a beast of burden, not even giving her a decent room—making her sleep on the floor in the main hall. Is that something a decent person would do?”
“What can be done? The girl is timid and indecisive. If she had a fiercer temper, she’d have rebelled long ago.”
Lin Qiao’er paused for a moment, her brow furrowing slightly.
She heard it, every word loud and clear.
But she didn’t know what to say.
She opened her mouth, but no words came out. In the end, she just hung her head, quickened her pace, and scurried away like a drenched dog with its tail between its legs.
When she returned home, her aunt Feng Xingmei wasn’t there, nor were her cousins. The house was empty, save for the makeshift bed in the corner of the main hall, cobbled together from a few stools and broken planks.
Lin Qiao’er pulled out an old medical book from under her pillow.
The book was left by her father, who had been a barefoot doctor treating patients in the surrounding villages.
She had attended primary school and could recognize most of the characters.
She flipped to the chapter on “Pregnancy” and read word by word in the dim light.
“In the early stages of pregnancy, menstruation ceases, accompanied by nausea, vomiting, and loss of appetite, a condition known as morning sickness…”
It all matched.
Lin Qiao’er’s hands began to tremble, the pages rustling softly.
She closed the book, clutching it tightly to her chest, curling into a small ball as she leaned against the corner of the wall.
She was really pregnant.
What was she going to do?
Her mind went blank, as if someone had poured a bucket of paste into it—thick, heavy, and impossible to think through.
All she knew was that she was finished, utterly finished.
If word got out, she would be drowned in the villagers’ scorn.
She would be forced to have an abortion, or even publicly denounced…
She didn’t dare think further, a chill running down her spine.
In the evening, Feng Xingmei returned, carrying a basket of eggs with a smile on her face. The smile vanished the moment she stepped inside, replaced by her usual sharp expression.
“Lazy girl, slacking off again! Have you washed the clothes?”
Lin Qiao’er quickly scrambled off the bed, gathered a large basin of the family’s laundry, and headed to the river to wash.
By the time she finished and returned home, the aroma of food had already filled the air. She handled all the household chores, but cooking was the one task her aunt wouldn’t let her do, fearing she might sneak a bite.
When the food was served, her uncle Lin Defei sat at the head of the table, silently picking up his bowl. He looked honest and kind, with a broad face and large ears, his smile gentle and amiable. “Qiao’er is back. Come, eat quickly.”
Her cousin Lin Dazhu and cousin Lin Xiuyu didn’t even look up, ignoring her completely as they each held a bowl, slurping their food noisily.
Lin Dazhu was chewing on a fried egg, while Lin Xiuyu’s bowl of rice porridge was topped with a few slices of fatty pork.
Lin Qiao’er glanced down at her own bowl—a thin, watery rice soup with a few pickled vegetables.
This was nothing new to her.
She didn’t speak, picking up the bowl and taking a sip. The rice broth slid smoothly down her throat.
A milky, adorable little boy’s voice rang out, “Mommy, Suisui wants to eat meat.”
“Suisui’s tummy is hungry.”
Suisui grumbled indignantly, “Why does Mommy work so hard to earn money but only gets to eat pickled vegetables, while they eat big meat dishes every meal? It makes baby so angry!”
Lin Qiao’er’s eyelid twitched. Where did this little child come from?
She scanned the room but didn’t see any child.
“Did you hear a child talking?”
Lin Dazhu didn’t even bother to lift his eyelids. “Are you hearing things? There’s no damn child in this house.”
Lin Defei asked with concern, “What’s wrong? Are you too tired? After eating, rest well today.”
Feng Xingmei was displeased, glaring at Lin Qiao’er with her triangular eyes. “It’s just cooking a few dishes, and you’re already making excuses to slack off. The clothes at home haven’t been washed today. Wash them clean before you go to sleep.”
Lin Qiao’er lowered her eyes and eyebrows. “Okay.”
Lin Xiuyu, who had been shoveling rice into her mouth, looked up at Lin Qiao’er and said matter-of-factly, “My floral dress needs to be washed separately. Don’t let the colors run.”
Lin Xiuyu was wearing a brand-new dacron outfit today.
While her own clothes were all faded from washing, with several large patches sewn on, and the pant legs were too short. Ever since her parents passed away, she had never worn new clothes—all her clothes were Lin Xiuyu’s hand-me-downs.
Lin Qiao’er kept her head down, obediently replying, “I know.”
Feng Xingmei suddenly asked, “How much red envelope did the village head give you for cooking at his house today?”
Every month, Lin Qiao’er’s wages and the occasional money she earned from cooking for other families had to be handed over to Feng Xingmei.
Since they were all family, she never argued about it.
Lin Qiao’er touched the red envelope in her pocket, lowered her eyes, and whispered so softly it was like a mosquito’s hum, “He hasn’t given it yet.”
She only had these two dollars left.
If she really was pregnant, she would buy medicine to get rid of the child.
Feng Xingmei’s face turned as dark as a pot bottom. “You little tramp, don’t even think about hiding it. Don’t forget, everything you eat, wear, and use in this house costs money.”
Lin Defei picked up a few strands of pickled vegetables and put them into Lin Qiao’er’s bowl. “Qiao’er, eat more. Remember to ask the village head for it tomorrow. It’s your hard-earned money. Our family is also struggling to make ends meet.”
Lin Qiao’er bit her lip, looking at Lin Defei with gratitude. Her eyes reddened, but she didn’t cry.
In this family, only her uncle treated her well.
After finishing her scolding, Feng Xingmei suddenly changed the subject. “By the way, the day after tomorrow, I’m going to the city to sell eggs. You come with me. Let the commune know in advance.”
Lin Qiao’er’s heart stirred.
Going to the city… If she went to the city, she could secretly see a doctor.
“Okay,” she quickly agreed, afraid her aunt would change her mind.
Just then, a milky, adorable voice suddenly exploded in her mind.
Suisui: “Mommy, don’t go! If you go, you’ll be sold into a remote mountain village! Mommy will be chained up, and my sister and I will be sold too.”
Suisui: “Wah, my sister was abused to death when she was only seven.”