Objective: Evangeline's graduation
Reward: Wish Voucher
On failure: Death
The protagonist of this game was Evangeline.
Evangeline had countless flaws. Chief among them was her cursed sociability.
Evangeline's social skills were dreadful. There were reasons behind it, of course, but they were severe all the same. Even though the game described her as 'the foremost beauty on the continent,' there was a reason she had so few friends. One of those few friends was Andy.
Of course, to Andy, Evangeline was no more than an acquaintance he greeted now and then, but to Evangeline, Andy was a best friend. That was why I'd recruited Andy first of all.
"Be friends with Evangeline."
"Be friends with her? Not just get close to her?"
Andy tilted his head as if something were off. I nodded lightly.
"Yes. Be friends with Evangeline."
"Yes, Boss! Just leave it to me! I'll make her unable to live without me!!"
Andy threw up a sloppy salute, spouting his improper remark. I bit back the urge to even correct the angle of his salute.
"But Evangeline — that's a name I'm hearing for the first time. Given how you're stressing it, Boss, she must be an important figure?"
"A very important figure."
"Ohh—. Is it perhaps...... this? This?"
Andy raised his pinky finger and asked. I scrunched up my face.
"Absolutely not."
"Heh heh, understood. Where's the target? I'll go knock her flat right now."
"She'll be here soon."
I turned my gaze to the bakery across the way. It was a bakery famous enough that any noble visiting the capital would put it on their must-do list.
Evangeline was mad about bread. She loved it so much she'd sleep with a loaf of bread instead of a pillow, by the bizarre logic that it let her eat bread even in her sleep. If it was Evangeline, the moment she arrived in the capital she'd come running to that bakery.
"What are the target's distinguishing features?"
"Pink hair, and a beauty."
"A beauty, eh. Heh heh, this'll be a job worth doing."
Andy wore a sleazy smile and rubbed his hands together.
After waiting for a while, a flash of pink poked out at the end of the alley.
The protagonist, Evangeline.
By the setting, Evangeline was the foremost beauty on the continent. The game described Evangeline's looks as beyond 'beauty' — looks that made you feel 'love.'
Because of those looks, Evangeline had been through countless ordeals. Her house had fallen, her parents' heads had hung from the gallows, and her younger sibling had gone missing.
Because of all that, Evangeline regarded her own looks as a curse rather than a blessing. That was why she hid most of her face behind glasses so huge and thick they made her look foolish. The old cliché where a girl in thick glasses takes them off and turns out to be a stunning beauty — a setting common in games.
The trouble was—
"Kyaaaaak!"
That Evangeline tripped at the slightest provocation. Like right now. There was clearly nothing to catch on, yet Evangeline went sprawling flat with a smack. With a sound so crisp it hurt just to watch. Her dragonfly glasses rolled across the ground.
"O-ow......"
When Evangeline lifted her head, the noisy street fell silent. Everyone stared blankly at Evangeline as if entranced. Even I, who knew Evangeline's setting, was startled for a moment.
'So this is what makes her the foremost beauty on the continent.'
Evangeline hastily put her glasses on. But the attention that had already swung her way didn't disperse. So Evangeline—
"Kak! Kek! Kwik! Shoo-shoo! Shak!"
—flailed her hands and made bizarre noises. With a disheveled, pink-haired woman in dragonfly glasses carrying on like that, she looked like a genuine madwoman. The gathered stares scattered in a hurry.
"I-is that...... her?"
Andy pointed at Evangeline with a sour expression.
"Yes, that's her."
"Hmmmm. I think I'm going to have to charge extra for this—"
"Extra?"
"Haha, just kidding. Kidding."
"Take it."
I pulled out a pouch and tossed it. A pouch stuffed full of gold coins. Andy, flustered instead, flapped his hands and feet.
"I-it was a joke! It's fine!"
For a fellow destined to become an Archmage, his ambitions were far too small. I frowned.
"It's a friendship fee."
"No, who takes money to be someone's friend—"
Instead of answering, I pointed at Evangeline.
"Kyahak!"
Now Evangeline was puffing herself up like some kind of animal. Far from sparing her a glance, people were scrambling to avoid her. With a small grunt, Andy quietly tucked the pouch away.
Soon Evangeline went into the bakery. I pushed Andy's back.
"Go on."
"Yes! Contestant, entering!"
Andy spouted an ominous line and followed her into the bakery.
'Evangeline.'
Seeing the protagonist, Evangeline, in the flesh stirred up complicated feelings. Not good ones, of course. When I'd played Yeonjol as a game, Evangeline was the landmine that had handed me the most game-overs.
To think I had to graduate that reject-tier sunfish—. I'd honestly rather fight the Outer Gods. Truly.
'Still, this time I have Andy.'
When Andy became friends with Evangeline was an important factor in the game. Because Andy eased Evangeline's sunfish spirit, if only a little. This time I'd attached Andy to her early, so the odds would climb higher—
"Kyahaaak!"
The bakery door flew open and Evangeline came bursting out. Letting out a bizarre scream, Evangeline fled at speed. Andy, emerging belatedly, pointed at the fleeing Evangeline and shouted.
"Boss! That bastard's bolting!"
What a goddamn mess. I spat a curse and went over to Andy.
"What did you do to make her act like that?"
"Nothing, I swear! I just said hello and she did that!"
Andy shouted as if wronged.
It was strange. Evangeline was always close with Andy, of all people. So why—?
"Andy, if Evangeline had been sitting next to you without my orders, what would you have done?"
"Huh? I'd have pretended not to know her. Why would I bother with that—"
"What if she were a fellow new student?"
"I'd have just exchanged greetings for form's sake, I suppose?"
"Hm. So that was the problem."
I realized why things had gone this way. The problem was that Andy had approached her first. That seemed to have triggered Evangeline's wariness.
"Boss! Should I set the boys loose?"
"What boys. Just wait and she'll come."
"What? After the scene she just made, she'll come back? Come on, surely not—"
At Andy's sour question, I pointed to the end of the street. There stood a woman in a pulled-down hood, with pink hair poking out the side.
"No way — she's back already?"
"Evangeline loves bread. She'd come back even if a demon were here."
"No matter how much she loves bread, does it make sense to come back already after a scene like that?"
It makes sense. Because Evangeline's a hopeless case.
"Go in first and buy every bit of bread with chocolate in it. Every last one, without exception."
"What? All of it? The bread there is ridiculously expensive—"
A mage who'd sink untold fortunes into research, balking at the price of mere bread. Andy's chronic affliction.
"Use the money I gave you. That's an order. Buy it all, then take it and stand there quietly."
"Ugh, understood—"
Andy's voice shrank rapidly. After all his big talk, the moment it came to actually spending money he seemed to lose his nerve.
"Hold the chocolate bread and stay still, and Evangeline will come to you. Don't show the slightest interest — just stand there eating your bread, and Evangeline won't be able to stand it and will beg for some. Hand her one then, and she's yours."
"Just like that?"
It's not simple at all. It only works because it's Andy. Instead of explaining, I pushed his back.
"Don't show interest first, no matter what."
"What is she, some kind of wild animal—"
Andy grumbled as he went into the bakery.
Soon Evangeline crept cautiously toward the bakery. After hesitating a long while out front, Evangeline went in.
It looked a bit ridiculous, but connecting Evangeline and Andy was crucial. You could say the fate of the world hung on it.
'If the world's like that, wouldn't it be better off just ending.'
I pressed my temple, weary.
***
'He really wants me to buy all of this?'
Andy trembled a little at the vicious bread prices. But it was the Boss's order.
"Give me everything from here to here!"
Andy recited the line he'd long wanted to say. At the bakery clerk's startled look, an odd thrill came over him.
'Is this really okay? Won't we go broke? Even so, this is way too expensive!'
Andy held out the gold coins with trembling hands. Paying with gold to buy bread! It was unimaginable.
Just then, the bakery door opened and a pink-haired woman came in. Her face was hidden behind thick, oversized glasses. It was the target, Evangeline.
For now, Andy did as ordered and stood still holding the bread. Once inside, Evangeline wandered around as if entranced. After making a full circuit of the bakery, she examined the bread as seriously as a mage selecting a mana stone. The bakery felt as solemn as a laboratory.
Then Evangeline lingered hesitantly in front of the clerk. Anyone could see she had something she wanted to ask.
After loitering a good while, the clerk asked Evangeline whether there was a particular bread she was looking for. Evangeline answered something, but her voice was far too small. The clerk said he couldn't hear and asked again, and when this repeated about three times, irritation crossed the clerk's face. When the clerk asked once more in a sharp voice—
"Chocolate breaaaad!!"
Evangeline shouted with her eyes squeezed shut. Watching, Andy was purely impressed.
'Wow, she really is a hopeless case.'
When the flustered clerk said the chocolate bread was all sold out, Evangeline plopped down on the spot. She looked like someone whose house had just fallen. As Evangeline's eyes welled up with tears, the clerk hurriedly pointed at Andy. Andy turned his gaze away, feigning disinterest.
Evangeline approached timidly, cautiously.
Andy paid her no mind. Even setting aside the Boss's order, he had no wish to get tangled up with Evangeline.
"U-um—"
Evangeline, who'd come right up in front of him, called to Andy timidly.
"What is it?"
"Cho! Chocolate bread! I heard! you bought! it all! I like chocolate bread too! It's not fair! Ah! No! That's not it!"
Evangeline mumbled something to herself. Her voice was too small to make out properly. In the end, unable to bear the frustration, Andy took out a chocolate bread, held it out, and asked,
"You want a chocolate bread?"
"Eh— y-yes! I'll pay...... I'll pay you!"
"Don't bother. I've got plenty anyway."
Not wanting to get any more tangled up, Andy tossed her a chocolate bread. Receiving the chocolate bread, Evangeline wore a curious expression. She seemed to be mulling something over hard.
"Ah! Don't tell me!"
Evangeline gasped to herself and lifted her chin. Something felt off. Evangeline pointed at Andy and said,
"You've fallen for me, haven't you?"
What? Why did the story suddenly go—. As Andy stood there flustered, Evangeline grew only more certain.
"Sorry, I prefer older men. Wait! You're not going to take the chocolate bread back just because I turned you down, are you?"
Evangeline hurriedly hid the chocolate bread behind her back.
Andy resolved inwardly.
He was definitely charging extra for this friendship fee.
TL Notes:
TL Note: "Sunfish" (gaebokchi) is Korean internet slang for someone absurdly fragile. The ocean sunfish is the butt of a long-running joke that it dies from the slightest stress, so calling Evangeline a "sunfish" means she panics or falls apart at the smallest thing.