The offices of Public Entertainment.
Photos of the agency's actors hung along the walls, and casting materials for dramas and films were spread across the table.
Inside the conference room, Team Leader Yoo Ji-ho was reviewing documents with a serious expression.
Just then—
"Team Leader Yoo Ji-ho, the CEO is asking for you."
The HR staffer running the meeting cut in and looked at Yoo Ji-ho.
"Right now?"
"Yes, it looks like you should go straight over."
Yoo Ji-ho rose from his seat without any particular suspicion.
When he opened the door to the CEO's office, the agency head was leaning back against his desk to greet him.
"CEO-nim, you called for me?"
"Ah, Ji-ho."
The CEO hesitated a moment, then quietly opened his mouth.
"Are you, by any chance, still in contact with Cha Eun-yul?"
For an instant Yoo Ji-ho's eyes wavered faintly.
Cha Eun-yul.
He hadn't expected to hear that name from the CEO's mouth again.
"...We exchange messages now and then, but has something happened?"
The CEO said nothing and turned the tablet screen on his desk around to show him.
A familiar face was smiling brightly inside a commercial.
"PD Lee Woo-seok sent it. He says Eun-yul suddenly shot a commercial."
Yoo Ji-ho looked at the Cha Eun-yul on the screen. A natural laugh, a bright expression.
But—
'There's no way......?'
Yoo Ji-ho knew that fact better than anyone.
That Cha Eun-yul could not stand in front of a camera again.
The CEO didn't miss the subtle shift in Yoo Ji-ho's expression.
"Ji-ho, be honest with me. The reason Eun-yul went into hiding... was it really because of that controversy?"
There was an odd weight buried in the CEO's voice.
Yoo Ji-ho drew in a short breath.
Five years ago.
Cha Eun-yul had pulled him aside just before a shoot.
Unlike his usual self, he'd looked around with anxious eyes and forced the words out.
-Ji-ho hyung... I've gotten so scared of standing in front of a camera.
In that moment Yoo Ji-ho had been thrown.
He'd judged that the power abuse controversy had broken him psychologically. So he resolved that the misunderstanding had to be corrected fast, and threw himself into resolving the controversy.
But Cha Eun-yul's condition only got worse.
-Hyung, keep this a secret. I'll get over it and come back.
After that Cha Eun-yul vanished without a trace.
He'd left behind a promise to come back, but the contact grew sparser and sparser, and Yoo Ji-ho was tormented by the guilt of having badly misjudged something.
Five years passed that way.
He was the only one who knew that secret.
Yoo Ji-ho stared again at the Cha Eun-yul on the screen.
If that smile were genuine... could he really come back?
Could he stand in front of a camera again?
Why had he shot a commercial without any of them knowing?
His mind a tangle, Yoo Ji-ho bit down hard on his lip.
The CEO looked at Yoo Ji-ho standing there in silence and let out a deep sigh.
"Honestly, I understand that the kid had a hard time because of that incident."
The CEO's gaze turned toward the tablet.
The Cha Eun-yul in the commercial was smiling brightly.
"But listen. A kid who hasn't contacted us once in over five years suddenly shoots a CF?"
There was bitterness soaked into the CEO's voice.
"We waited five years ourselves, in our own way, and not a single word from him... it doesn't add up, does it?"
The CEO paused a moment and studied Yoo Ji-ho's expression.
Yoo Ji-ho's own feelings were complicated.
'There's no way. Cha Eun-yul isn't that kind of kid.'
The CEO looked Yoo Ji-ho straight in the eye and said,
"Ji-ho, go check on it. What Eun-yul's been thinking lately."
When Yoo Ji-ho nodded, the CEO fell silent for a moment.
Then he slowly rose from his seat and came closer to Yoo Ji-ho. And in a low, heavy voice, he added,
"And if he went ahead with a shoot behind our backs......"
The CEO's words hung heavily in the air. Yoo Ji-ho's eyes wavered faintly, then firmed up.
After drawing a breath, Yoo Ji-ho answered clearly, as though he'd made up his mind.
"Yes. I'll do that."
Yoo Ji-ho didn't hesitate any further. He rose from his seat and quietly slipped out of the CEO's office.
The CEO watched his retreating back without a word, then looked down at the tablet again.
The Cha Eun-yul in the commercial was still smiling brightly.
As if nothing had ever happened.
***
A cramped studio apartment.
Late at night, with everyone asleep, sleep strangely wouldn't come.
Faint moonlight came in past the window and lit the inside of the room.
Catching that light, the trophies along one wall glimmered faintly.
Cheonsang Arts Awards - TV Division, Best New Male Actor
Without thinking, I picked up my phone and typed the award's name into the search bar.
I was scrolling with no particular expectations when—
[Cha Eun-yul, Cheonsang Arts Awards Rookie Award acceptance speech]
That video caught my eye.
'I've... never once watched this.'
All that remained in my memory was the tension of the moment I received it.
I had only a hazy recollection of how much I'd rambled up on that stage.
That was why I'd never looked it up all this time.
I pressed the screen without meaning to.
The video played, and a past version of me was walking up onto the stage under brilliant lights.
— Actor Cha Eun-yul, congratulations!
A grand swell of applause.
And me, smiling brightly as I accepted the award.
I looked so happy.
Like... a completely different person from the me of now.
The me back then was expressing excitement with his whole body.
But at the same time, you could see the tension keeping the words from coming out properly.
Normally I'd have shut the video off immediately, cringing out of my skin, but strangely enough, this time I kept watching.
I focused on the voice from the past coming through the speaker.
-Thank you... so much. To the director, the writer, and all the staff who believed in a rookie like me......
The me back then couldn't get the words out, as if overcome.
He caught his breath for a moment, then continued in a slightly calmer voice.
-CEO-nim, and my manager hyung. Thank you for always looking out for me.
CEO-nim.
And... manager hyung.
People who still send me messages now and then asking how I am.
I hadn't answered any of them properly.
The me in the video spoke with shining eyes.
-I will never forget this gratitude.
My breath caught.
I was saying it clearly, right there on the screen.
That I would never forget.
And yet......
'I already forgot all of it.'
Just then the phone screen darkened as the playback ended.
I stared blankly at the screen.
'How incredibly stupid have I been?'
I'd turned my back even on the people I ought to be grateful to.
They were still thinking of me, and I had turned away from everything for no better reason than that reality was hard.
'...I'm really pathetic.'
My fingertips trembled heavily.
I opened my call list again.
CEO-nim.
Manager hyung.
Full of unread messages.
And then, I—
After hesitating, I slowly moved my finger and pressed one message.
***
A quiet predawn hour, streetlights faintly pushing back the dark.
I sat on a bench, fiddling with my phone.
And then, now.
"Eun-yul."
A familiar voice.
I reflexively raised my head.
A man approaching from a distance.
Hair cut shorter, a face that still looked as busy as ever.
And even so, he was grinning wide at the sight of me.
"How long has it been? And you reached out first, no less."
He came over and clapped my shoulder lightly.
A warmth that wasn't strange at all. Familiar.
"Yes, hyung. Have you been well?"
"Hey, that's my line. Have you been well?"
"Well... just getting by."
He was still smiling warmly, and looking at that smile, I felt a little guilty somehow.
Because it felt like I'd gone years without a single word and only reached out when I needed something.
But manager hyung didn't let any of that show.
Light jokes and small talk.
Without realizing it, some of the tension left my shoulders.
Like I'd gone back to the way things used to be.
And then—
"Actually, I saw you not long ago."
At his words a chill ran down my spine.
"Sorry?"
"You shot a commercial."
"...Sorry?"
"Your expression was really good."
A commercial?
I went blank for a moment.
Then the memory hit me.
"Ah...! The convenience store commercial?"
I laughed awkwardly and scratched my head.
"That just kind of happened."
"Just happened?"
Hyung looked at me with a strange expression.
I didn't bother explaining.
I'd only filled in for someone that day, and it hadn't meant anything.
But there was something firm in hyung's eyes.
Then the silence dropped in suddenly.
I went to speak, and at the same moment hyung spoke too.
"Eun-yul—"
"Hyung—"
We both stopped.
I hesitated and said,
"You go first, hyung."
Hyung paused a beat, then quietly opened his mouth.
"The thing is......"
He hesitated a little, then quietly continued.
"I talked with the CEO a few hours ago. He knows too, that you shot a commercial."
"Ah......"
I answered shortly and swallowed a sigh inside.
So he already knew.
"Still, you could have at least tipped us off. The CEO's pretty hurt about it."
"Ah... it really just happened by chance... there wasn't a spare moment."
I laid out an excuse that was no excuse at all.
Looking at hyung's face made me feel even worse.
It was a genuinely hurt expression.
But then hyung suddenly waved his hand hard and said,
"Forget it—! As long as you're healthy, that's all that matters! The CEO understood in the end, and he decided to cheer you on instead."
"Sorry?"
I was thrown by the sudden turn.
Hyung paid no mind to my reaction and kept going.
"That's just how this industry is. You must have had things you resented us for, and there was nothing we could do about our side either... isn't that about right?"
"......"
For a second my mind went blank.
What on earth was he talking about?
"You know what the CEO told me before I headed out? He said to send you off properly. To congratulate you on coming back, and wish you well—"
The moment I heard that, I finally understood the situation.
The CEO and hyung thought I had signed with a different agency and resumed acting.
"Hyung......"
"Yeah, you brat."
"Um... I didn't switch agencies, though?"
"......Huh?"
Hyung's expression froze.
"I don't have an agency right now."
His mouth fell open on its own.
"...Then what was the commercial?"
"That was just something I got filmed in on my way to the convenience store."
"What?"
I shook my head side to side and explained the whole situation.
That I'd stepped in as a stand-in at a convenience store, and it had been a shoot on the level of a simple part-time job.
As he listened, hyung's eyes wavered more and more, and at the end he wore a look of pure disbelief.
And then—
"Bwahahahahaha!!"
He finally couldn't hold it in and burst out laughing.
"Hey, what is this, it was one giant misunderstanding! The CEO and I were both getting emotional over nothing! Wait, so you really didn't sign with an agency?!"
"No."
I answered as if I found it just as absurd.
At that, hyung barely held back another wave of laughter and said,
"Man, how am I even supposed to report this... the CEO's face is going to be a sight."
I shrugged and laughed.
"I'll stop by the agency before long, so make sure you wait for me."
Hyung's laughter stopped.
And he looked at me with startled eyes.
"...You serious?"
I nodded slowly.
"I'm not interested in any agency that doesn't have the CEO in it. So tell him I'll be stopping by soon."
Hearing that, hyung blinked for a moment, then the corners of his mouth lifted into a wide smile.
"You bastard... you sure took your time."
His voice was playful, but there was an odd emotion buried in it.
I looked quietly at hyung.
Ji-ho hyung knows better than anyone that my heart is hurting.
And even with all the misunderstandings, he kept my secret without a word.
Saying nothing, never once pushing me.
That made me feel even sorrier, and even more grateful.
I quietly opened my mouth.
"Hyung... I'm really sorry. And thank you."
At that, hyung's eyes went wide. His reaction was like he hadn't seen it coming at all.
And then the rims of his eyes slowly went red.
From the faint trembling of his lips, I could tell he was straining to smile.
Seeing that, my own nose stung.
My chest sank, heavy.
It felt like I'd been the only one acting as though I had it hard.
When all along these people had been worrying about me, waiting for me.
As if deliberately trying to change the mood, hyung suddenly clenched his fist and shook it in the air.
"Bang bang bang! No takebacks. You can't put it off anymore. You're really starting over, right?"
"Ah, that's so corny... what even is that."
I snickered and looked away.
"Don't change the subject! I'm serious!"
Hyung's expression was serious beyond measure.
Seeing that look in his eyes made my own heart run hot along with it.
I'd forgotten how grateful I should be to people like this, and hidden away insisting I was the only one suffering.
How stupid that had been, I only truly felt now.
I quietly drew a breath in and let it out.
Then I lifted the corners of my mouth and said to hyung with confidence,
"Of course. Just you wait."
In that moment, the brightest possible smile spread across hyung's face.
I was probably wearing the same expression.