“Why do we make it seem as though you are a scandalous wife and I am her secret lover?”
Gazing at the thin inner robes of Shi Hanshang, Sheng Yuli could not help but frown. “The night wind is chilly. Why did you come out without putting on a cloak?”
As he spoke, Sheng Yuli took off his own outer robe and draped it over the shoulders of Shi Hanshang. He explained, “My elder sister sought me out for a talk today, so I arrived a bit late. I was afraid you might be waiting anxiously, but now it seems arriving late was better than arriving early.”
The chill on his body was instantly dispelled by the warmth still lingering in the man’s robe. Shi Hanshang finally managed to steady his heart. He glanced at the dark, fur-lined garment and could not help but mutter, “Who was waiting for you? Do not flatter yourself.”
“Fine, you were not waiting for me. I was waiting for you,” Sheng Yuli said with a smile. “Waiting for you and for our child.”
With that, Sheng Yuli boldly reached out toward the lower abdomen of Shi Hanshang.
This small gesture was something Sheng Yuli had done countless times over the past month. However, this time, Shi Hanshang merely lowered his beautiful eyes. He did not swat the hand away in disgust, nor did he knit his brows. He simply stood there obediently, letting him touch.
Sheng Yuli was surprised by the change in Shi Hanshang, and the smile on his face widened. He assumed Shi Hanshang was simply in a good mood or had not yet snapped back to reality. Daring not to wake the man, he carefully stroked the slightly rounded abdomen with a look of infatuation. After a while, he remembered his purpose. “I was delayed until quite late today. I went to the South Street, but the street vendors had already packed up.”
“It does not matter,” Shi Hanshang replied. For once, he did not snap back. He even added of his own accord, “I have already had dinner today.”
Sheng Yuli nodded, feeling relieved. He looked at him with bright, twinkling eyes and asked, “I noticed you have not been retching as much lately. Is the morning sickness getting better?”
He had already asked Song Qing about it. Usually, when women are pregnant, they go through a period of morning sickness, but as the months pass, the symptoms gradually lessen until they disappear.
“Yes,” Shi Hanshang replied softly. He could not tell if he felt joy or disappointment. In just half a month, he seemed to have become accustomed to the companionship of Sheng Yuli. Now that the morning sickness was gone, would Sheng Yuli stop coming?
Reason forced Shi Hanshang to remain calm. He cruelly suppressed that sliver of attachment and took a deep breath, once again assuming the indifferent persona of a Prime Minister who seemed detached from all worldly things.
Shi Hanshang expressionlessly pushed the hand of Sheng Yuli away. Unwilling to look at him further, he turned and walked straight into the room.
Sheng Yuli followed him and saw him stop in front of the bookshelf. He could not help but ask in confusion, “It is this late, and you still want to read?”
Shi Hanshang nodded. He wordlessly took a yellowed volume from the crowded shelf and began to flip through it slowly. Knowing the stubborn nature of Shi Hanshang, Sheng Yuli realized that persuading him would be useless. He simply sat beside him to keep him company, occasionally helping to grind ink or bring tea.
During the night, A-Sheng knocked on the door a few times to check on him, sharing the same concern for the health of Shi Hanshang as Sheng Yuli did. Shi Hanshang merely pretended to be composed and ordered him to bring in several hand warmers and more firewood, but said nothing else.
The firewood in the brazier crackled and burned brighter. Before long, the room that had been shrouded in cold gradually warmed up, and the scent of sandalwood grew richer.
Sheng Yuli picked up the fire tongs that A-Sheng had left behind and flipped the wood in the stove. He nodded with satisfaction, thinking to himself, This is more like it. This felt like a bedroom meant for peaceful rest, rather than a bone-chilling room like a morgue at the Ministry of Justice.
Of course, when A-Sheng came in to deliver items, Shi Hanshang made Sheng Yuli hide, either under the bed or behind the curtains. As long as he was not discovered, it did not matter where. Although he had tacitly allowed Sheng Yuli to enter his bedroom freely, for the sake of his dignity as a Prime Minister, he was unwilling to let a third person know about their strange relationship.
However, the act of hiding made it feel as though they were guilty of something, which felt odd.
When he was being forced under the bed by Shi Hanshang, Sheng Yuli could not help but mutter, “Why do we make it seem as though you are a scandalous wife like Pan Jinlian and I am her secret lover Ximen Qing? It feels as though we are a pair of adulterers hurriedly hiding from a suddenly returning husband.”
The face of Shi Hanshang instantly turned cold, and he delivered a sharp slap to the mouth of Sheng Yuli for talking such nonsense.
Once A-Sheng had added the charcoal and Shi Hanshang had gently told him to go back and rest, Sheng Yuli scrambled out from under the bed. He moved his sore shoulders and said with a grimace, “Being your lover is truly not easy.”
Shi Hanshang immediately threw a teacup at him. Sheng Yuli caught it hurriedly and ran over with a forced smile to apologize. Amidst the playful pushing and shoving, Sheng Yuli took the opportunity to touch the belly of Shi Hanshang a few more times.
By midnight, Shi Hanshang had finally finished reviewing all the documents. Under the candlelight, Sheng Yuli was already drowsy. His handsome profile was half-hidden in the shadows, and his arrogant aura was completely suppressed. His brows were slightly knit, suggesting he was not sleeping soundly.
Shi Hanshang intended to call him, but his lips parted without making a sound. He found himself dazed for a moment. Nearly a month of living together day and night was not a long time, but it was not short either, long enough to change one’s view of a person. Shi Hanshang realized in a daze that Sheng Yuli did not seem as arrogant and overbearing as he had remembered.
Just as he was thinking, Shi Hanshang stood up while supporting his aching back. The moment he straightened, he felt a sudden contraction and spasm in his lower abdominal muscles. A wave of dull pain shot up his spine. Shi Hanshang let out a gasp of pain and doubled over, clutching his stomach.
Sheng Yuli had not been sleeping deeply. Hearing the cry of pain, he woke up immediately. He saw Shi Hanshang hunched over, leaning against the desk with pale lips and a trembling body.
Instantly wide awake, Sheng Yuli performed a kip-up, rushed forward, and supported Shi Hanshang. He asked in alarm, “What is wrong?”
Seeing him clutching his stomach, Sheng Yuli asked tentatively, “Does your stomach hurt?”
It was and it was not. Shi Hanshang was in too much pain from another spasm to speak. After a long silence, he finally found a moment to catch his breath. He said through gritted teeth, “It does not seem like that. It feels more like a cramp.”
“A cramp?” Sheng Yuli asked blankly.
Clearly, General Sheng, who was a first-time father, had no experience in this matter. However, seeing the expression of Shi Hanshang grow worse and his forehead break into a cold sweat, Sheng Yuli felt helpless. He decided to treat him based on his own experience with cramps during military training. He gripped the lean waist of Shi Hanshang and began to massage it carefully.
Fortunately, this actually worked.
A few moments later, the complexion of Shi Hanshang improved. He leaned against the table and let out a soft sigh. This was not the first time this had happened today. A few days ago, he had been woken from his sleep by the pain. But he believed he could endure it and did not want to wake anyone in the manor or worry his brother. So, during many dark nights, he had gritted his teeth and endured it in silence.
This was the first time it had happened in front of someone else, in front of Sheng Yuli.
Beads of sweat trickled down his cold face. Shi Hanshang did not want others to see him in such a pathetic state, especially someone with whom he had always been at odds. But as the spasms hit again, he lacked the strength to flee and could only gasp for air.
The actions of the man behind him were warm and powerful, pressing down with a rhythmic motion. Before long, the sour, numbing pain in his waist and abdomen gradually dissipated. The uneasy muscles slowly calmed down, leaving only the dull ache following intense pain. Shi Hanshang finally lowered his head and let out a sigh of relief.
Sheng Yuli, afraid he might lose his strength and hit the corner of the table, wrapped his arms around the waist of the other man to support him. Seeing Shi Hanshang close his eyes, he asked as if realizing something, “Has this happened before?”
“Yes,” Shi Hanshang replied weakly, too exhausted to argue.
“Does it happen every night?” Sheng Yuli asked again.
“Occasionally,” Shi Hanshang answered in a trembling voice. “It happens more often when I am trying to sleep.”
At this, the frown of Sheng Yuli deepened. “Then what do you do when it happens? Do you call A-Sheng to massage your waist?”
“Why disturb others?” Shi Hanshang noticed the body of the man was pressing too close. He uncomfortably pushed against the chest of the other man, having regained a bit of strength. “It is merely a bit of pain, no different from the cramps during martial arts practice. It passes after a while if I endure it.”
“How can that be the same?” Sheng Yuli was shocked.
This was caused by the pregnancy. How could it be compared to an injury from training? Sheng Yuli suddenly felt a pang of discomfort in his heart.
He and Shi Hanshang had grown up together. No matter how much they bumped or bruised themselves during martial arts practice, even if he broke a bone, he had never seen Shi Hanshang in such pain. For such a strong-willed person to be unable to hold back a groan showed that these cramps were extraordinary.
Yet he insisted on being stubborn.
Sheng Yuli could not bear to see it. He reached out, grabbed the book by the hand of Shi Hanshang, and threw it onto the pile nearby. He said forcefully, “Stop reading.”
In the heat of the moment, before Shi Hanshang could react, he picked the man up in a horizontal carry and walked toward the bed.
Suddenly losing his balance, Shi Hanshang instinctively wrapped his arms around the neck of Sheng Yuli. He exclaimed, “Sheng Yuli, what are you doing?”
Sheng Yuli kept his head down and did not speak. Once they reached the bed, he placed the man down. He pulled off the outer robe and wrapped Shi Hanshang in the quilt like a caterpillar. He said in a low voice, “I am not doing anything. Just get some rest early.”
Shi Hanshang was stunned by the sudden action. Falling onto the soft bed did not hurt, but his mind was in a daze. Once he regained his senses, he struggled to sit up in the quilt, wanting to rebuke the bold Sheng Yuli, but the room suddenly went dark.
Sheng Yuli had blown out the candle.
First, there was a heart-pounding silence. Then, the rustling sound of clothes being removed came from the darkness. Shi Hanshang did not know what Sheng Yuli intended to do, and he felt a sense of unease. He instinctively gripped the quilt tightly. Once his eyes adjusted to the dark, he stared silently at the blurry figure. He was in a defensive posture, his knuckles turning white from the force of his grip.
He had just lost his strength to the pain. If he were to fight Sheng Yuli now, he did not know his chances of winning.
But Sheng Yuli simply took off his outer clothes and boots. After staring at him in the darkness for a moment, he stepped forward and sat beside the bed.
Sheng Yuli turned his head away and leaned against the bedframe. He said, “Sleep. I will stay here and watch over you tonight. If you feel unwell again, just call me.”
Shi Hanshang was startled. He had not expected this. “You are not leaving tonight?”
“I am not leaving,” Sheng Yuli replied shortly and firmly.
The voice of Sheng Yuli was usually clear and bright, with an upward inflection at the end. But in this sentence, there was no trace of a joke. The steady and powerful words struck the heart of Shi Hanshang, making it tremble for a moment.
Shi Hanshang wanted to say something, but the words died on his lips. He remained dazed for a long while before slowly lying back down.
In the darkness, the two men, one lying and one sitting, were silent. Only the sound of their steady breathing could be heard, one breath after another.
Since the age of two, when his wet nurse had left, Shi Hanshang had never slept with anyone else. The servants who had cared for him since childhood slept on a separate small bed and never crossed the line. Later, as he grew up, he became accustomed to sleeping alone. He even sent away the servants who served at night, leaving only A-Sheng to wait outside the door.
He had heard that for common children, their mothers would sing nursery rhymes to them at night. But his mother had died early, his father was obsessed with scrolls and texts, and his brother had his own studies. Except for his wet nurse, no one had time for him. Later, the Shi family fell into decline and the wet nurse was gone. Over time, Shi Hanshang developed a solitary personality, becoming indifferent and detached toward everything.
This was the first time someone had accompanied him while he slept. Although they were not in the same bed, it was an unprecedented experience. Listening to breathing that was not his own, Shi Hanshang felt a bit unaccustomed to it. He turned over, his eyes now fully adjusted to the dark. He could clearly see the silhouette of the broad back of Sheng Yuli beside the bed.
He could not sleep. He could not help but call out, “Sheng Yuli.”
“What is it?” Sheng Yuli responded immediately.
“Why go to such lengths?” Shi Hanshang finally asked the question that had been weighing on his mind for a long time.
He and Sheng Yuli were rivals and enemies. They fought when they saw each other and traded insults when they met. Even though he was carrying his child due to a lapse in judgment, he had already expressed his determination to handle it alone. Sheng Yuli did not need to pity him.
Yet Sheng Yuli had stayed to care for and comfort him. He accommodated him in every way and even set aside his pride to do things he would have once looked down upon.
Was all of this truly just because of the child in his belly?
In the darkness, Sheng Yuli was silent for a long time before he finally spoke slowly. “Shi Hanshang, I owe you this.”