While Liu Ersha was sleeping, Xiang Xi made all kinds of preparations.
As the saying goes, to do a good job, one must first sharpen one’s tools.
Xiang Xi went to the bamboo grove at the Liu family’s place and chopped down two bamboo stalks. She split them open, removed the yellow parts, and kept only the green bamboo strips. In no time, she wove them into two extra-large bamboo fish baskets.
These baskets were somewhat shaped like gourds: wide in the middle, narrow at the neck, and open at the mouth. Once the eels were put inside, there was no way they could escape.
After estimating their size, Xiang Xi figured that the two baskets could easily hold fifty pounds of eels.
She also made two serrated bamboo tongs. With that, her eel-catching tools were ready.
Seeing that it was still early, she simply went to the market again. Using the Illusionary World to avoid the Zhou family’s various informants, she bought all the seasonings she needed.
She also bought a large jar that could hold twenty pounds of seasonings, twenty small jars that could each hold four or five pounds of water, and ten pounds of fragrant rapeseed oil.
After buying all these things, every last coin she had earned from selling mushrooms that day was gone.
But it didn’t matter.
The great Mr. Lu Xun once said: Money is like a dog—the more you use it, the more you get!
When she got home, it was just about time to make dinner. Xiang Xi chopped up all the seasonings, poured five or six pounds of oil into the pot, and began frying the seasonings.
Once the seasonings were fried, they needed to sit overnight so that their flavors could fully infuse. Only then would they taste even more fragrant.
After frying a whole jar of seasoning, Xiang Xi sealed the opening with large leaves, dug a hole in the ground, and buried it. She used the Illusionary World to make sure no one would steal it and that even the village dogs wouldn’t dig it up and eat it. In short, it was completely safe.
She had Liu Ersha carry the bamboo basket on his back, while she lit a torch made from a long bamboo tube, scraps of cloth, and rapeseed oil. Then the two headed toward the fields.
Just after they left, Widow Li came out of her house. After making sure there was no one around, she waved toward the small woods behind the house.
Soon, a tall, burly man emerged from the woods and slipped into her house.
It was none other than Zhang Shilin, the husband of Hu-shi, the shrewish woman who was the only person in Nan Bamboo Village capable of going toe-to-toe with Madam Lü.
The villagers all called him Zhang Laosan.
Since it was the agricultural off-season, Zhang Laosan had recently been working as a laborer at the dock in the prefectural capital. However, this fellow wasn’t exactly an honest worker. To put it nicely, he was devoted to his family; to put it bluntly, he had a strong appetite for pleasure but couldn’t afford to spend money at the brothels.
So yesterday, after receiving some of his wages, he rushed back without wasting a moment.
Compared to the aging and plain-looking Hu-shi, Widow Li was practically a celestial beauty in Zhang Laosan’s eyes. He hadn’t even entered his own home before rushing straight to the widow’s door.
The moment he entered, he wanted to get intimate with her. He had even taken off his trousers, only to discover that Madam Li wasn’t cooperating.
“What’s wrong?”
“What do you mean, what’s wrong?” Madam Li looked dejected, her eyes filled with resentment. “I’ve been bullied terribly.”
Zhang Laosan was famously hot-tempered. The moment he heard that someone had dared bully the woman he fancied, he immediately became furious.
“Who dared bully you? I’ll deal with him!”
“It’s Liu Laosan’s family.”
Zhang Laosan was stunned.
Wasn’t Liu Laosan an idiot?
And his wife was a crazy woman. How could a couple like that bully anyone?
While half-heartedly resisting him, Widow Li embellished the story about Liu Ersha wanting to build a house right outside her home.
“Think about it. If they really settle down right outside my door, you won’t be able to come here as often anymore.”
Zhang Laosan realized that she had a point.
This was clearly going to ruin his good thing!
But after thinking carefully about it, that idiot was built like an ox. Three to five men couldn’t hold him down, so dealing with him would be troublesome.
“Who told you to deal with that idiot?” Widow Li said. “It’s strange, too. That crazy woman is still acting crazy lately, but sometimes she seems surprisingly clever. So I thought, why not deal with that crazy woman instead?”
“Then how do you want me to deal with her?”
“What else could you do?” Widow Li gave him a flirtatious look, her slender fingers teasingly moving over his groin. “I’ll give you a bargain. Deal with her the same way you deal with me.”
“Heh heh heh…”
Zhang Laosan was instantly aroused.
“Wait until I deal with you first, then I’ll deal with that crazy woman!”
“Go on, go on. If you use up all your energy on me, how will you have any left for her?” Widow Li whispered a breath of fragrant air into his ear and said seductively, “Deal with her first. After that, you can do whatever you want with me.”
This teasing strategy of hers left Zhang Laosan itching with impatience.
But as the saying went, if an ox refused to drink water, even forcing its head down wouldn’t make it drink. Since Widow Li wasn’t willing, forcing her wouldn’t accomplish anything either.
Zhang Laosan could only pull up his trousers and prepare to take care of the matter first.
“Wait for me. When I come back, I’ll deal with you.”
…
Arriving before a vast stretch of rice paddies, Xiang Xi checked Liu Ersha’s illusionary image and then began directing him to catch eels.
The weather tonight was somewhat muggy, making it perfect for catching eels.
When the night grew deep and everything was quiet, the eels would crawl out of their holes. One by one, they would stand upright in the water, sticking their pointed heads above the surface to breathe.
At this time of year, the eels were still rather foolish. Once the light from the torch shone on them, they would remain completely motionless.
All Xiang Xi needed to do was gently pinch them with the bamboo tongs, and she could easily place them into the basket.
And there really were a lot of eels.
A single patch of paddy no bigger than a palm could yield one or two pounds. The two of them had only walked through a dozen or so paddies when one of the baskets was already full, containing at least twenty pounds.
“You sit here for a while. I’ll take these home and come back.”
After giving him instructions, Xiang Xi carried the basket on her back and headed home.
She hadn’t gone far when she saw a tall figure walking toward her.
She raised the torch and shone it over him, recognizing him as Zhang Laosan, Hu-shi’s husband.
Zhang Laosan had agreed to deal with Xiang Xi in order to please Madam Li.
After all, in his impression, Xiang Xi was a crazy woman—skinny and dried out, with hardly any flesh on her body, her hair disheveled and her entire body stinking.
Just thinking about her had killed his interest.
He never expected that after only half a month without seeing her, the crazy woman’s appearance would have changed so dramatically!
Under the torchlight, the skin exposed outside her clothes was fair and smooth, and her figure was shapely and alluring. She looked even prettier than the beautiful girls he had seen in the prefectural capital!
And there was an intoxicating fragrance surrounding her. Even from a distance, it was enough to make him feel lightheaded and start imagining things.
He had once thought that Madam Li was already as beautiful as a celestial maiden.
But now he could be certain—
This crazy woman was a true celestial maiden!
Earlier, Widow Li had teased him relentlessly without giving him any satisfaction, leaving him with a bellyful of pent-up desire. He had finally managed to suppress some of it with the cool night breeze, but now it surged up again.
So he put on a smile and spoke gently.
“Xiang… Madam Xiang, catching eels?”
Seeing his strange smile, Xiang Xi frowned.
“Mm.”
“What good are eels?” Zhang Laosan said. “I brought some osmanthus cakes back from the prefectural capital. They’re fragrant and sweet. Now that’s what I call delicious.”
Xiang Xi: “…???”
Buddy, it’s the middle of the night, and you’re standing in front of a girl who’s out catching eels, bragging about osmanthus cakes?
Did you get your brain caught in a door, or did a donkey kick you in the balls?
Besides, they’re just osmanthus cakes. Could they really be so delicious that they could fly to heaven?
Why don’t you brag about how beautiful your sow is while you’re at it?
While Xiang Xi was utterly baffled by his bizarre bragging, Zhang Laosan smiled again and asked, “Do you want some? If you do, Uncle can give you a few pieces.”
Xiang Xi’s heart tightened.
The great Mr. Lu Xun once said: When someone offers you kindness for no reason, there is always either deceit or theft behind it!
There was something wrong with Zhang Laosan.
Definitely something wrong!
Xiang Xi immediately entered the Illusionary World, and a cold glint appeared in her eyes.
You bastard. How dare you harbor filthy thoughts about this young lady? You’ve got some serious guts!
If I don’t teach you a lesson today, you’ll never know what it means to have your hair become a cape!