“Second son,” Madam Lü tried to summon Liu Er’s help again after failing to call anyone over. “Hurry and untie your mother. I’ll cook egg noodles for you.”
Second Fool Liu shook his head like a rattle drum.
“No, no, I won’t listen! Like a nun chanting scriptures!”
Seeing that her second son had completely betrayed her too, Madam Lü felt utterly miserable, tears and snot streaming down her face.
“You crazy woman, what exactly do you want?!”
Xiang Xi couldn’t be bothered to answer her. She said to Second Fool, “Second Fool.”
“Present!”
“Go to the chicken coop and catch a chicken. We’re eating meat tonight!”
“Meat?” Second Fool’s eyes immediately lit up. “Wife, how many should I catch?”
Xiang Xi: “…”
This fool was getting ambitious. The two of them needed several chickens now?
“One is enough.”
“Then I want the chicken butt!”
Xiang Xi: “…”
So the reason you wanted to catch two more was just so you could eat two extra chicken butts?
Have some ambition!
“Hurry up!”
“Yes!”
“You dare!” Madam Lü panicked when she saw what was happening and spread her arms across the doorway.
There were only three hens in the entire household, all of them kept for laying eggs and earning money!
Xiang Xi kicked her to the ground and planted one foot on her chest.
“Try moving and I’ll crush your old bones!”
Madam Lü truly didn’t dare move anymore.
In front of this crazy woman, even the title of Nan Zhu Village’s number one shrew—no matter how impressive or intimidating—was as soft as the mud in the courtyard.
She could only watch helplessly as Second Fool charged into the chicken coop. After a chaotic burst of flapping wings and squawking, he came out carrying the fattest hen.
Xiang Xi swiftly brought down the knife and ended the old hen’s life, then had Second Fool boil water, pluck the feathers, and gut it.
Watching her movements flow as smoothly as running water, Madam Lü felt her heart bleed like a mountain spring flowing out of the old forest in the back mountains.
When she saw Xiang Xi pour at least half a jin of oil into the pot, the blood in her heart turned into a stream from the back mountain, gushing wildly.
Finally, when she watched the crazy woman and her foolish son stuffing their mouths with meat until their lips were slick with oil, her drool almost turned into…
Ahem!
Her heart’s blood had turned into the great river at the village entrance!
Heavens above!
Her chicken!
As the head of the Liu household, Madam Lü had always been the absolute authority. How had she suddenly ended up completely under the control of a crazy woman?
Absolutely not!
This household had to remain under her control!
She needed to work together with her eldest son’s wife and come up with a way to deal with this crazy woman.
“That’s not difficult,” Wu-shi said.
“Eldest daughter-in-law, if you have a good idea, hurry up and tell me,” Madam Lü asked anxiously. “If we let that crazy woman keep going berserk, how are we supposed to live like this?”
“Mother, what if we do this?” Wu-shi lowered her voice. “We can’t deal with that crazy woman while she’s awake, but what if she’s asleep?”
Madam Lü’s eyes lit up.
“That makes sense!”
“We’ll take two strong ropes and tie her and Second Brother up. Then we won’t give them any food for three days and three nights!” Wu-shi said. “Once she’s starving badly enough, she’ll obediently beg for mercy.”
“Good, good, good! That’s what we’ll do!”
…
Xiang Xi’s room had quite a smell.
Not only did it smell bad, but Liu Er’s thunderous snores also provided a steady soundtrack for sleep.
The bed was damp and clammy, and mosquitoes were everywhere.
But none of this mattered to her. Back when her master trained her, she had endured hardships far worse than this.
Still, she couldn’t fall asleep.
Maybe she simply wasn’t used to the bed.
Or perhaps sleeping in the same bed as a man for the first time made her extremely uncomfortable.
Fortunately, they had been married for almost a year. Other than the night of their wedding, when Liu Er had dragged the original owner around playing hide-and-seek all night, the original owner had been completely carefree every other day, falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.
Otherwise, Xiang Xi would have had to find somewhere else to sleep.
If she couldn’t sleep, she might as well study the special gift that had come with her transmigration.
Xiang Xi focused her attention on Second Fool.
Sure enough, the entire world fell silent.
But no phantom of Liu Er appeared.
Was it because he was asleep the whole time?
Then she’d try something else.
Xiang Xi entered the phantom world again, this time focusing on a mosquito. Then she silently began counting.
The mosquito’s phantom kept flying around while Xiang Xi kept counting.
When she reached sixty, the mosquito’s phantom landed precisely on her arm, and the world returned to normal.
She counted another sixty seconds.
Sure enough, just as the phantom had shown, the mosquito landed on her arm and prepared to suck her blood.
Smack!
Xiang Xi slapped the mosquito dead.
She was beginning to understand her ability.
Seeing the future!
However, for now, she could only see events within the next minute.
Moreover, while in the phantom state, she couldn’t move either. The moment she moved, the world would return to normal.
One minute seemed a little short.
But if she knew how to use it properly, she could still accomplish quite a lot.
Just then, she heard faint footsteps outside.
And there were three people.
What was this?
Had thieves come?
She immediately entered the phantom world and saw Madam Lü, the eldest son of the Liu family, and Wu-shi walking into her room with an oil lamp and two thick, long ropes, sneaking around like thieves.
Xiang Xi instantly understood.
These three were planning to tie her up while she was asleep?
They could only be described as naive.
Far too naive!
She was an assassin!
When she slept, she even alternated which side of her body rested against the bed. How could such a low-level trick possibly restrain her?
They wanted to tie her up?
Fine.
She’d let them taste what it felt like to be tied up too.
She immediately hid behind the door. The moment the door opened, she jumped out.
“Thieves!”
Madam Lü and the other two were so startled that they nearly lost their souls.
“Not good! She’s still awake! Run!” The eldest son reacted the fastest.
You think you can run after being targeted by this lady?
Xiang Xi pounced forward like a leopard.
“Hahaha… Little thief, where do you think you’re running?!”
She first pinned the eldest son to the ground and squeezed a pressure point on his neck. The man immediately passed out.
As for Madam Lü and Wu-shi, they didn’t have the slightest ability to fight back and were easily tied up.
She had just finished tying the three of them up when two more people came running over.
They were the two children of the eldest son.
Xiang Xi grinned.
Tie them up too!
“Second sister-in-law, don’t!” Wu-shi’s face turned deathly pale, and she trembled as she spoke. “It doesn’t matter if you tie me up, but my two nephews are still young. They don’t understand anything. Please let them go, okay?”
Xiang Xi almost laughed.
Those two little brats weren’t good people either.
They had inherited every bit of their parents’ rotten genes. They constantly spat into the original owner’s bowl, tied her hair into impossible knots, and even peed on her bed and pillow during the freezing winter.
When they did those things, weren’t they perfectly capable of understanding?
So why didn’t they understand now?
You people keep changing your story like this, and you’re making it very difficult for this lady!
Madam Lü’s plan to tie Xiang Xi up had completely failed before it could even be carried out. They had been utterly defeated and counterattacked instead.
She was both furious and terrified.
“You crazy woman! With all the evil you’re doing, you’ll die a horrible death sooner or later!”
“Mother, stop cursing and hurry up, call someone!”
Wu-shi quickly added, “Yes, yes! Let’s call for help in the middle of the night. Someone will definitely come!”
Xiang Xi blinked and gave Wu-shi a thumbs-up.
You’re clever. You’re absolutely right!
But did this lady intend to let you call anyone?
She turned around, went into the room, and came back carrying several pairs of Liu Er’s stinky socks.
The expressions on everyone’s faces instantly changed from confusion to horror.
“Eldest daughter-in-law, are you trying to get us killed?! If you want to shout, then shout! If you want to call someone, then call them! Why did you tell her—mmph!”
Before Madam Lü could finish, Xiang Xi stuffed a stinky sock into her mouth and tightly tied her mouth shut with a rope so she couldn’t spit it out.
“You stay away from me… Ah…”
After stuffing stinky socks into everyone’s mouths, Xiang Xi hurried to the kitchen to wash her hands.
Liu Er’s socks weren’t merely unbearably stinky.
They were practically eye-watering!
She estimated that the smell could kill a sow from three li away.
Madam Lü and the others would surely enjoy themselves.
After thoroughly washing her hands, Xiang Xi decided not to return to the room to sleep. Instead, she settled down on the long bench in the main room and waited until dawn.
The next morning, just as the rooster crowed, Second Fool Liu got up.
The moment he saw the entire family tied up like dumplings, he danced around happily.
“Mom, Mom, did you come to my house to steal things and get caught by my wife?”
Madam Lü angrily rolled her eyes at him a hundred times.
This was her house!
“Hahaha…” Liu Er clapped his hands loudly. “Fun, fun! This is so much fun!”
He excitedly took out the copper basin and began banging it with all his might.
Dang! Dang! Dang!
“My mom is a big thief!”
“My big brother and sister-in-law are big thieves!”
“My two nephews are little thieves!”