After dealing with the Liu family, Xiang Xi took Second Fool with her and began wandering around the village.
Since she had just arrived, she naturally had to familiarize herself with the terrain.
After spending the entire afternoon wandering around, she gained a general understanding of Nan Zhu Village.
The village was backed by mountains and faced the water. From a feng shui perspective, it looked quite good. The scenery was beautiful and remained largely untouched by civilization. But because it was extremely remote, and ancient productivity was so backward, the entire village could be summed up in one word:
Poor.
There were more than a hundred households in the village. Half lived in earthen houses with thatched roofs, while a little less than half lived in purely thatched houses. Quite a few even had holes in their roofs and walls.
Only the village chief and two small landlord families had built earthen houses with tiled roofs. They were considered the three wealthiest families in the entire village.
When they were busy, the villagers worked in the fields. When they had free time, they went into the mountains to hunt and gather medicinal herbs, or cast nets into the river to catch fish. They were busy from dawn to dusk all year round, yet even after all that hard work, they weren’t necessarily able to eat their fill.
As the saying went, poor mountains and harsh waters bred unruly people.
The people of Nan Zhu Village were famously fierce for miles around.
Whenever villagers had the slightest disagreement, they would point fingers at each other’s noses and unleash a barrage of colorful insults. The atmosphere could reach its boiling point in just three seconds.
The two sides would open their mouths like wild beasts, screaming at the top of their lungs and spraying saliva everywhere like hand-pumped sprayers. Their bloodshot eyes, as large as eggs, would glare at each other like two fighting roosters determined to kill one another.
Once the cursing became enjoyable enough, the fighting roosters would upgrade into fighting dogs.
Slapping faces, punching chests, kicking groins… shoulder poles, hoes, wooden sticks—whatever they could get their hands on would be used against the other person. They didn’t care whether anyone would die. As long as they didn’t lose in terms of sheer ferocity, that was what mattered.
Xiang Xi didn’t know whether the rest of Great Xia was like this.
In her entire life, the original owner had only ever been to two places: Xiushui Village, where her parents lived, and Nan Zhu Village.
She had never even gone to the county’s market.
When she was little, she had been foolish, and her family was afraid she’d embarrass them if they took her outside.
When she grew older, she became even more unhinged, and they were afraid she’d bite someone if they brought her out.
Of course, all of that was in the past.
The past was like smoke drifting away. Let bygones be bygones.
From now on, to hell with feudal society and screw the Three Obediences and Four Virtues!
She was a super assassin from modern civilization. She was determined to live her life to the fullest in this unfamiliar world.
Nan Zhu Village would be her starting point!
And Second Fool would be her founding minister!
“Second Fool, within one slap’s reach!”
“Yes!”
Liu Er immediately came running over, holding a handful of foxtail grass.
“Wife, here!”
Xiang Xi froze slightly.
Could it be… this fool actually understood a little romance?
“Make me a little dog!”
Xiang Xi: “…”
Get lost!
By now, cooking smoke was curling up throughout the village. Everyone had begun preparing dinner, and the air was filled with the aromas of wild vegetables and buckwheat noodles, making Second Fool’s stomach growl.
“Wife, let’s go home and eat,” Second Fool said. “Mom said we’re having buckwheat porridge tonight.”
Xiang Xi had no interest in the black, watery buckwheat porridge.
“What’s so good about that?”
Second Fool scratched his head and tilted it to the side.
“If you don’t eat, you’ll be hungry.”
“Listen to me, and I’ll give you delicious food every day.”
“What are we eating?” Second Fool asked, his eyes shining brightly. “Chicken butts?”
“Why eat chicken butts? Have some ambition, will you?” Xiang Xi said. “I’m not saying we’ll eat bear paws, matsutake mushrooms, and tiger meat every day, but chicken, duck, fish, meat, and white rice should be on every meal. Big geese, little pigs, and turtles too!”
Second Fool listened with drool dripping from his mouth, his eyes glowing.
“If we eat that well, then our family will be the village chief!”
“Have some ambition! Have some ambition! What’s so great about being the village chief? If you’re going to be something, you should be the emperor!”
“Be the emperor!” Second Fool giggled. “If I become emperor, then I can become village chief!”
Xiang Xi: “…”
Sure enough, in a fool’s eyes, the village chief was the highest-ranking official, and chicken butts were the ultimate delicacy.
Forget it. She wasn’t actually crazy. Why was she discussing this with a fool?
“Second Fool!”
“Present!”
“Prepare the imperial carriage! We’re returning to the palace!”
“Yes!”
Liu Er immediately squatted down and presented his broad back to Xiang Xi. She gently climbed onto him, and Liu Er carried her along the narrow path between the fields at a brisk pace. In the blink of an eye, they arrived home.
Today, Xiang Xi had beaten Madam Lü and the eldest son of the Liu family, while Wu-shi had nearly been stripped by her husband’s younger brother. The entire family had spent the whole afternoon cursing and complaining.
When Xiang Xi arrived home, every member of the family was squatting in the courtyard with a bowl of buckwheat porridge, noisily slurping it down.
“Mom, hungry!”
Madam Lü was usually quite good to Second Fool. No matter how stupid he was, he was still her own flesh and blood. Even if the food was poor, she would at least make sure he was full.
But today, she was furious, and there would be serious consequences.
That bastard had actually sided with his wife instead of his own mother! He was completely betraying his family!
So, in a fit of anger, she hadn’t prepared any food for him.
She would let him go hungry for two meals and teach him exactly whose side he should be on!
“There’s none!”
It was the first time Second Fool had been refused food. He looked pitifully at Xiang Xi.
“Wife, no food.”
Xiang Xi walked over to Madam Lü and asked, “Where’s our food?”
Madam Lü sneered.
You damn crazy woman. You beat me today, pushed my eldest son into the cesspit, and scared his wife so badly that she still doesn’t dare come outside, and now you want food?
Would you like me to give you a bowl of northwest wind instead?
She didn’t know why this crazy woman had suddenly become so insane today, but based on her experience, starving her for a day or two was even more effective than beating her several times.
“Don’t even think about it. There’s no food!”
Xiang Xi chuckled.
So after an entire afternoon, this was the best idea you could come up with to deal with me?
You won’t give me food?
You want to starve me?
If you dare refuse to feed me, I’ll flip the table!
She snatched the bowl from Madam Lü’s hands and dumped everything—the porridge and vegetables—right onto her head.
Madam Lü screamed as the hot food scalded her.
“You damn crazy woman! Are you rebelling against heaven?!”
No, no, no.
This was only the beginning.
Xiang Xi said to Second Fool, “Hold your eldest brother down!”
Seeing that things were going badly, the eldest son of the Liu family dropped his bowl and chopsticks and turned to run.
But how could he outrun Liu Er, who had been born with nothing but a large body and absolutely no brains?
He had barely taken a few steps before Second Fool pounced on him and knocked him to the ground, beating him unconscious in just a few blows.
Wu-shi tried to run outside, but Xiang Xi blocked her.
“Sister-in-law, your clothes are so pretty!”
“Ah—!”
Wu-shi screamed, her face turning pale with fright as she ducked into the house like a turtle retreating into its shell.
How was this crazy woman still thinking about stripping her clothes?
“Crazy woman, let go of me!” Madam Lü shouted, her face red. “Do you believe I’ll call people over?”
“Go ahead!”
“Ah—!”
Madam Lü really did exactly that. She threw her head back and shouted at the top of her lungs.
“Help! Someone help! The crazy woman in our house is beating people!”
“Ah—!”
Xiang Xi immediately joined in, screaming even louder.
“Help me—! Stop hitting me—! Ahhh—! She’s beating me to death!”
After shouting, she kicked Second Fool.
“You join in too! Better yet, go find a gong and start banging it!”
The moment he heard that he could bang a gong, Second Fool excitedly ran into the house and carried out the copper basin that had come with his mother.
Hehehe…
He had wanted to bang this thing for ages, but Mom had never allowed him to.
His wife was the best!
She actually let him bang it!
Today, he was going to bang it as much as he wanted!
So he used all his strength to beat the copper basin until the sound shook the heavens.
Dang! Dang! Dang!
“Good beating!”
“Wonderful beating!”
“You’re making my mom scream!”
…
Madam Lü was completely emotionally devastated.
She truly had never imagined that, as the number one shrew of Nan Zhu Village, she would actually be completely controlled by a crazy woman.
And despite screaming for so long, not a single person came from outside.
Why?
Because everyone was used to it.
Everyone in Nan Zhu Village knew exactly how Madam Lü treated her second daughter-in-law.
She beat her when there was something wrong.
She beat her when there was nothing wrong.
She beat her whether there was something wrong or not.
As soon as anyone heard the ghostly howls coming from the Liu household, even a three-year-old child knew:
Madam Lü was beating the crazy woman again!
And Second Fool was watching the show again!
Today was no different.