“Also, she said Second Fool Liu stole cucumbers from her house…”
“Impossible! Absolutely impossible!” Madam Lü became even angrier at once.
If her son knew how to steal things, could he still be called a fool?
“My second son has never stolen anything from anyone!” Madam Lü paused, then suddenly realized something. “What did you say my second son stole?”
“Uh… cucumbers. Everyone in the village knows that Second Brother Liu loves munching on raw cucumbers…”
“We’re doomed!”
Madam Lü slapped her thigh and rushed out as if her butt were on fire.
When she reached the vegetable patch outside and took a look, she nearly fainted.
There had been so many cucumbers in the field. She had even planned to pick them and sell them for a few copper coins.
But now…
Not a single one was left!
Even the little immature cucumbers that hadn’t grown yet were gone!
“That murderous crazy woman! I won’t let you off!”
Seeing her suddenly go berserk and run around outside her house like she’d been possessed, the village chief was so frightened that he hurriedly searched around for a stick.
He also wisely decided not to mention compensation anymore.
But now it could be confirmed that Second Fool Liu definitely hadn’t stolen Hu-shi’s cucumbers.
Hu-shi had simply made a false accusation, and then…
Well, she had gotten what she deserved!
Yes, that was exactly it.
As for whether the two families would continue fighting afterward, he felt there was no need to interfere.
They had been fighting for years, and hadn’t Nan Zhu Village remained perfectly fine?
After the village chief left, Madam Lü returned to the courtyard with mixed feelings.
She was genuinely happy that the crazy woman had dealt with Hu-shi.
But whenever she thought about having to live under the same roof with that crazy woman and being tormented by her every day, she couldn’t help but worry.
“Eldest son,” Madam Lü asked, “tell me, what exactly should we do?”
Liu the Eldest let out a long sigh.
If he knew what to do, would he have fled in terror earlier?
“Mother, I do have another idea,” Wu-shi said.
“Let’s hear it.”
“I think Second Brother’s wife really is a crazy woman, but she’s still a woman,” Wu-shi said. “If we can get her pregnant and make her belly grow, then even if she wants to cause trouble, she won’t be able to do much.”
Madam Lü’s eyes lit up, but she soon became worried again.
“She has been married into our family for almost a year and there hasn’t been any sign of pregnancy. Could it be that she can’t have children?”
“Not necessarily her problem,” Wu-shi said. “I think it’s more likely that our Second Brother is simply too stupid and doesn’t know how to do that.”
“If he doesn’t know… we can’t exactly teach him ourselves!”
“No need.”
Wu-shi leaned close to Madam Lü’s ear and whispered a few words.
After hearing her plan, Madam Lü seemed somewhat troubled and didn’t immediately agree.
“Mother, I’m only thinking about what’s best for the family,” Wu-shi said. “If we keep letting her run wild like this, we really won’t be able to live anymore.”
Madam Lü frowned deeply.
After struggling with the decision for a moment, she slapped her thigh.
“Fine! Let’s do it!”
She turned to Liu the Eldest.
“Eldest son, this time it’ll all depend on you.”
Liu the Eldest looked confused.
“Me too?”
“Only you can do this,” Madam Lü said. “What, do you want us to dig your father out of his grave?”
“Mother, what exactly are you talking about?”
“Isn’t Second Brother incapable of doing that?” Wu-shi said. “Mother and I mean for you to give her your seed.”
“What? No… How can we do that?”
Although he said it was impossible, Liu the Eldest’s heart was already bursting with excitement.
That crazy woman might be crazy, but she was beautiful.
He had been secretly lusting after her for a long time.
And now his mother and wife were actually going to send her straight into his bed?
It was practically two enormous pieces of fat meat falling from heaven!
“It’s settled, then,” Madam Lü said. “The child would still be a Liu family’s offspring. As long as we don’t say anything, nobody else will know.”
“But…” Liu the Eldest looked troubled. “That crazy woman definitely won’t agree, and I can’t overpower her.”
“That means we need to think of a way,” Wu-shi said after pondering for a moment. Then she came up with an idea. “We’ll drug her!”
“What kind of medicine?”
“First, we need sleeping powder, but don’t use too much. Just enough to make her groggy. Otherwise, she might not be able to get pregnant,” Wu-shi said. “Then we need the kind of medicine that makes sows go into heat and give birth. It should work on humans too.”
“Good! That’s what we’ll do!” Madam Lü was decisive as ever. “I’ll go to the market right now. You two kill that chicken at home, and tonight we’ll put the medicine into the chicken.”
“Mother, that’s the last chicken.”
“Hmph! As long as we can make that crazy woman behave, what does one chicken matter?” Madam Lü paused. “Give her half. We’ll eat the other half.”
After Madam Lü left, Liu the Eldest couldn’t wait and immediately rushed toward the chicken coop.
Tonight, he was going to enjoy himself!
…
“Second Fool,” Xiang Xi said as she sat on the mountaintop looking down at the village, somewhat troubled. “Tell me, what can we do to earn silver?”
Second Fool didn’t even think before answering.
“Pick mushrooms.”
Xiang Xi had considered picking mushrooms too, but there was a problem.
They had just swept the mountain clean of mushrooms yesterday, and it hadn’t rained since then. The mushrooms probably hadn’t had time to grow back yet.
Forget it.
She would think about it again tomorrow.
For now, they should go home and eat.
When the two returned home, they could smell a strong fragrance from far away.
Then Xiang Xi noticed the bloodstains on the ground in the courtyard.
She immediately found it strange.
What?
Had Madam Lü decided to butcher the last chicken before Xiang Xi could get her hands on it?
“You’re back?” Madam Lü walked out of the kitchen with a beaming smile. “Come and eat dinner. I made your favorite braised chicken.”
The moment he heard they were eating chicken again, Second Fool jumped for joy.
“Chicken! Chicken! Wife, we’re eating chicken!”
When a large plate of fragrant chicken was brought to the table, along with two bowls of steaming white rice, Xiang Xi was genuinely confused.
Had Madam Lü’s head been slammed in a door?
No, no.
Something was definitely wrong.
People who suddenly shower you with kindness always have ulterior motives!
That old woman definitely wasn’t up to anything good.
Looking at Liu the Eldest and Wu-shi, Xiang Xi noticed that they kept avoiding her gaze, their eyes shifting guiltily.
She became even more certain that this chicken wasn’t something she could safely eat.
Had they poisoned the chicken?
So she said, “Mother, Eldest Brother, Sister-in-law, come eat with us.”
“No, no!” Madam Lü hurriedly waved her hands. “We’ve already eaten. This was specially left for you.”
Heh.
You think this lady is stupid enough to believe that?
“Second Fool, close the door!”
“Yes!”
Second Fool Liu slammed the door shut.
Madam Lü and the others immediately felt their hearts sink.
This crazy woman couldn’t possibly have figured out that they’d drugged the food, could she?
But she was a crazy woman!
How could she possibly understand something like that?
Xiang Xi calmly went to the kitchen and brought out a cleaver.
She sat down at the table with a cheerful smile.
“Come, come, come. Sit down and eat.”
“We already said we’re—”
Bang!
Xiang Xi brought the cleaver down hard onto the table.
“You’ve all been so kind to me. How could I possibly bear to eat alone?”
Wu-shi shrank back.
“I’m not hungry…”
“Not hungry?” Xiang Xi smiled at Wu-shi. “You still have to eat even if you’re not hungry! You first!”
Wu-shi was practically on the verge of tears.
She had personally put the medicine into the food.
Heaven knew how much she had accidentally poured in while trying to bring this crazy woman down.
“What?” Xiang Xi said, shaking the cleaver in her hand. “Did you put poison in the food?”
“Or do you think the cleaver in my hand isn’t sharp enough?”