Lu Ren was still in a state of astral projection when Director Qian clapped his hands with a smile. “Has everyone finished watching?”
“After that,” Director Qian continued, “our production team has ranked the couples based on their intimacy. Let’s see who the Fantasy Couple of this episode will be.”
As he spoke, the staff cut the video and projected a PPT presentation.
Lu Ren: “…?”
…A PPT?
Is this really a dating show? Lu Ren thought, his mind reeling.
The next second, Director Qian dealt him a crushing blow with his words.
“The top-ranked couple is Lu Ren and Teacher Yin.”
Director Qian solemnly used the wireless remote to switch to the next slide.
“After our team’s calculations, the preliminary estimate of the intimacy area, that is, the average overlap of the fluorescent agent, is around 47%.”
After saying this, Director Qian added cheerfully, “But actually, you can tell without even calculating. The two of you are just way too intimate, haha.”
As Director Qian finished, the staff nearby couldn’t hold back their laughter.
Lu Ren’s face flushed a deep crimson in an instant.
47%… Wait, you can actually calculate that??
And what’s with the laughing, Director??
The heat spread from Lu Ren’s cheeks to the tips of his ears, leaving him mortified. Beside him, the male lead remained completely unphased, his composure unwavering.
Director Qian chuckled and continued, “Coming in second is the intimacy between Rao Mengmeng and Zhou Zichuan, with an average of around 21%.”
Zhou Zichuan’s face also reddened slightly as he scratched his head sheepishly.
After announcing the results for Zhou Zichuan and Rao Mengmeng, the director finally moved on to Luo Jiuge and Xu Qingqing. Luo Jiuge had interacted with every guest to some extent, though not extensively.
Xu Qingqing, on the other hand, was a true outlier.
Her entire figure was a solid, unadulterated yellow, without a single trace of any other color.
However, the Eldest Young Lady seemed completely unfazed by the result.
“Hmph,” Xu Qingqing crossed her arms and scoffed, “I have absolutely no interest in any of this.”
Director Qian’s lips twitched. …Please, Miss Xu, you’re on a dating show.
Unlike Xu Qingqing, Luo Jiuge pressed her lips together tightly, her face burning with embarrassment.
The production team had laid bare every physical contact on the screen, leaving their interpersonal dynamics completely exposed.
She was wearing the cyan-colored outfit, but it was covered only in white, representing Rao Mengmeng, and some green from Zhou Zichuan. There was almost no trace of Yin Beilin’s deep blue.
Though Xu Qingqing was here, so at least I’m not in last place… But once this episode aired, wouldn’t the “Linge Duijiu” ship become an instant joke?
And what kind of person was Yin Beilin? Did she not know him better than anyone?
Luo Jiuge stared at the purple marks on the screen, her jaw clenched.
Even if Yin Beilin was exceptionally considerate of Lu Ren, how could he possibly allow anyone else to touch him in those places?
The only logical explanation was that Lu Ren had taken advantage of the wardrobe change to make a move himself.
As for Yin Beilin, he was simply doing what he had always done, calmly rejecting everyone and refusing to bother with such trivial matters.
Yin Beilin could be indifferent.
But this time, she couldn’t.
Her palms clenched as she finally forced a smile and asked, “Director Qian, is this data accurate?”
“Of course it is,” Director Qian laughed. “The colors on everyone’s clothes are ironclad proof. How could it not be accurate?”
Rao Mengmeng glanced at Luo Jiuge, raising an eyebrow. The next moment, she spoke up.
“I can’t believe Zichuan and I have less than half the interaction of Teacher Yin and Lu Ren,” Rao Mengmeng said, feigning curiosity. She then teased, “How’s that possible, Director Qian? We’ve been eating and cooking together all the time. The difference is just too huge.”
“Yeah,” Luo Jiuge added, smoothing her hair with a light laugh. “I noticed Lu Ren and Beilin have a lot of overlapping colors that no other guests have. With Beilin’s aloof personality…” She paused, her words dripping with insinuation. “Some of those spots don’t seem like places you’d just happen to touch. Did they… rub off on each other?”
The moment Luo Jiuge started asking, Lu Ren’s heart tightened. After hearing her words, his heart pounded against his ribs like a drum.
Help… someone help me… Lu Ren stared at the screen, his eyes fixed on the purple patches on Yin Beilin’s upper thighs, feeling utterly miserable. They aren’t going to ask how I touched those places, are they?
Lu Ren knew 47% was an absurdly high number. After all, it was more than double the score of Rao Mengmeng and Zhou Zichuan. It was only natural for Goddess Luo to think the statistics were wrong…
But… Lu Ren screamed inwardly. But how did this number even come about?!
If he had been used as a body pillow by Yin Beilin all night, a 47% score would make sense. But this video was a pre-sleep analysis.
They had just cooked a meal and put on a little performance… Rao Mengmeng’s number was much more normal. How the hell did his shoot up to this?
Lu Ren’s face flushed crimson, completely baffled.
Just then, Director Qian, having heard Luo Jiuge’s question, looked at the big screen with curiosity.
“There shouldn’t be any errors,” Director Qian said, moving the cursor as he spoke. “These areas around the collar, shoulders, and chest, it’s normal to brush against each other when greeting someone.”
Lu Ren: “…”
The red cursor on the screen gradually moved down. “As for this area around the waist…”
“Wait!”
Lu Ren’s face turned beet red as he hurriedly interrupted Director Qian.
If he kept going, he’d be talking about the base of the thighs next!
“Uh, I just mean, maybe it’s because of the injury on my foot… I mean, Brother Lin has been helping me out a lot, so that’s why the number is so high,” Lu Ren explained awkwardly.
“Oh?”
Luo Jiuge had been waiting for Lu Ren to say exactly that. Her beautiful, upturned eyes narrowed slightly.
She tapped her fingertips against her crossed arms, a faint smile playing on her lips. “But I don’t recall seeing you and Teacher Yin interacting that much, Xiao Lu. And some of those spots… hmm…”
Luo Jiuge trailed off, shaking her head. Her meaning was crystal clear.
“Maybe it was because I was too slow changing in the dressing room… and then Brother Lin… he…”
Lu Ren glanced at Yin Beilin as he spoke, but the male lead remained completely unfazed, even watching him with a hint of amusement.
This guy’s got nerves of steel!
Is it really a good thing to be thought of as gay with me in front of your harem?! Lu Ren’s head was spinning.
But since Yin Beilin wouldn’t take the bait, he had no choice but to force himself to continue.
“He probably just brushed against me while helping me with my clothes. Heh, haha.”
Oh god! After saying that, Lu Ren prayed to every deity he knew, begging them to keep Actress Luo from asking how he’d managed to brush against those random, awkward spots…
Lu Ren wanted to cry but had no tears. He really didn’t know himself!
After hearing Lu Ren’s words, Xu Qingqing’s cat-like eyes narrowed slightly, looking at him with a mix of disappointment and anger.
At the same time, Luo Jiuge’s eyes suddenly lit up.
This person was practically handing her the evidence on a silver platter. Just as Luo Jiuge was about to speak, a faint voice intervened.
“The data is normal.”
Everyone froze for a moment.
“Lu Ren sprained his ankle while filming behind-the-scenes footage with me,” Yin Beilin explained calmly to the group, tilting his head slightly. “I should have been responsible for his limited mobility in the first place.”
“The fluorescent agent reacts to mutual contact,” Yin Beilin said softly. “I have more contact with him than anyone else, so this should be a very normal occurrence.”
Lu Ren: “…?”
Rao Mengmeng and Luo Jiuge: “…”
Hearing Yin Beilin’s words, Xu Qingqing’s clenched jaw relaxed slightly.
Lu Ren froze for a second, then suddenly remembered, Oh right, there really was such an incident!
He had indeed fallen on the floor while wearing those high heels during the Blade shoot, and it had even been caught on camera.
No wonder Yin Beilin dared to be so blatant with his advances- uh, no, his public displays of affection- on the variety show…
So he had planned this all along.
Just as Lu Ren realized the truth, Yin Beilin’s dark eyes suddenly shifted to him.
“As for why there are marks in some places…” Yin Beilin paused for two seconds, his gaze fixed on Lu Ren as he casually raised an eyebrow. “We’ll have to ask Teacher Lu about that.”
…Ask me??
Lu Ren’s body instantly tensed, and he swallowed hard, his nerves fraying. “Ah? What are you talking about, Brother Lin? I… I’ve forgotten…”
Seeing Lu Ren’s stammering, embarrassed state, Yin Beilin crossed his arms noncommittally and asked a simple question in return, “Is that so?”
Lu Ren, “…Y-yes, it is.”
“I see.”
“You rejected me so fiercely when I tried to carry you downstairs.” As he spoke, Yin Beilin turned his head to look at him, his voice slow and deliberate. “I thought you’d have a very vivid memory of it.”
Lu Ren, “…”
What kind of thing is he saying?!
Lu Ren’s face instantly flushed crimson again. “…”
The rest of the production crew also fell silent. “…”
…In front of everyone! Lu Ren was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Why did the male lead have to bring up the failed princess carry?
As he spiraled into despair, a memory from yesterday suddenly resurfaced.
When Yin Beilin tried to carry him yesterday, he had indeed struggled violently. His hand seemed to have accidentally grabbed something,
…Wait a minute.
…So that’s why my thigh was sore?
No wonder the male lead had been watching the drama from the sidelines just now. Lu Ren wept bitter tears in his heart. Can’t you even touch a tiger’s ass?
Lu Ren was genuinely hurt.
“What’s the big deal?” Director Qian said, sighing with regret after hearing the story. “Xiao Lu, don’t refuse next time Beilin wants to carry you downstairs!”
“What our show, Fantasy Couple, needs are guests who stay true to the theme!” Director Qian lamented, his face a picture of frustration at his cast’s lack of ambition. “Anyway, we’re pre-recorded. Creating a few viral moments like this is good for the show!”
“If you’re worried about anything happening, just tell me,” Director Qian declared passionately. “Our editing team is incredible. They can give you a ‘spring and autumn’ cut, suppressing the bad and elevating the good, to completely clear your name. Don’t be afraid!”
“The rest of you shouldn’t be afraid either! The most important thing is to go viral and get good material, understand?”
Lu Ren’s lips twitched. “…”
Director Qian, is it really okay for you to be this unscrupulous in filming a variety show?
Luo Jiuge’s eyes lit up again as she smiled. “In that case, I’ll have to rely on you, Director Qian, to edit me to look good, alright?”
Director Qian declared with grand confidence, “Rest assured, as long as nothing major goes wrong, you’re all set.”
Rao Mengmeng and Luo Jiuge then began chatting cheerfully with Director Qian.
Glancing to the side, Lu Ren noticed Miss Xu chatting with the male lead. He didn’t know what Yin Beilin had said, but Miss Xu’s face was slightly flushed.
Lu Ren nodded, feeling a bit relieved. Although all my plans for this show have failed, at least Miss Xu Qingqing seems to be getting closer to the male lead!
Not bad!
It seems I haven’t failed!
With this thought, Lu Ren felt a wave of relief. He moved to the dining table alone and swallowed hard, staring at the buffet breakfast the production crew had prepared.
Zhou Zichuan suddenly draped an arm over his shoulder and said with some emotion, “Lu Ren, you and Teacher Yin are so close, huh?”
Lu Ren flinched, suddenly remembering yesterday’s events, and felt a bit awkward.
But the next second, he heard Zhou Zichuan say in a completely innocent tone, “So you two were already close! No wonder you had to share a bed!”
“…” Lu Ren broke into a cold sweat and forced a dry laugh. “It’s… It’s okay, I guess.”
“Is that just okay?” Zhou Zichuan asked, shocked. “I think Teacher Yin cares about you a lot.”
Lu Ren broke into a cold sweat. “…What makes you say that? = =”
Zhou Zichuan took his hand off Lu Ren’s shoulder and started counting on his fingers. “This morning, you were fast asleep, and when I tried to greet Teacher Yin, he told me to stop talking so I wouldn’t wake you up.”
“…Huh?”
Zhou Zichuan blinked his single-lidded, puppy-like eyes. “And yesterday, he told me to stop tossing and turning. That was because you’re a light sleeper, right?”
Lu Ren had been about to say it was no big deal, but his face suddenly flushed red. He hurriedly muttered, “Uh-huh!”
Zhou Zichuan nodded, pulled something out of his pocket, and said, “Teacher Yin also asked me to give this to you.”
Lu Ren looked down.
…A… a bandage?
Lu Ren: “………”
Lu Ren: “!!!!!”
Before Lu Ren could panic and cover his neck, Zhou Zichuan spoke again.
“Teacher Yin even noticed the bug bite on the back of your neck,” Zhou Zichuan said, his voice tinged with envy. “He’s Lin Ye, you know. To care about you this much, isn’t he treating you well enough?”
Lu Ren: “.”
…What’s so good about this?
Lu Ren clenched the bandage in his hand, stared at Yin Beilin lounging leisurely in the distance, and roared inwardly, his face burning with shame.
Leaving him to walk around with a bite mark all morning, what the hell is the point of that?!
At least the male lead had given it to him before breakfast. Now, probably only Zhou Zichuan had seen it. Lu Ren slipped into the restroom with a sullen expression and quickly applied the wound patch in front of the mirror.
After breakfast, Fantasy Couple immediately moved on to the next segment.
The next phase was the main event, a task that would keep them busy all day. Although Fantasy Couple used the “dating show” gimmick, the second day, after the “Fantasy Couples” were formed, focused more on testing the actor-guests’ ability to interpret the theme.
Based on the intimacy rankings, Director Qian divided them into two groups of three. Each group would use the manor as a backdrop to recreate two classic films centered on the theme of “intimacy.”
Lu Ren was grouped with Yin Beilin and Xu Qingqing.
Since he and Yin Beilin had the highest intimacy score, they were “undeservedly” assigned the main romantic roles in the script.
Because he and Yin Beilin were both men, the script given to them was the last-century queer cinema classic, A Single Man (originally Stewart’s Lover).
On the open lawn of the garden, Lu Ren pulled up a small stool and sat down to read the script for A Single Man.
Perhaps because Dongfang Zhuzhu’s writing wasn’t set in a fictional era, Lu Ren actually knew this movie.
Back when he was a student at Jiangying, his professor had used this movie as a case study to analyze and compare different cinematography techniques.
When Lu Ren first watched the film, he found it a bit tedious. The pacing was too slow, the plot too flat, and he could almost predict the trajectory of the protagonists, the righteous but clumsy Stuart and the selfish, cowardly Alexander. Because of this, he’d found the movie rather boring.
But after the professor analyzed it frame by frame, he realized the film was a masterfully crafted piece where every scene served a purpose, and nothing was wasted.
Yin Beilin was cast as Stuart. Lu Ren was his lover, Alexander.
Xu Qingqing was cast as his wife, Madam Marie.
When he was assigned this role, Lu Ren couldn’t help but shoot Yin Beilin a sheepish glance.
Does this count as stealing the male lead’s man?
Lu Ren looked over, but Yin Beilin didn’t react at all.
He rubbed his nose, sat back down on the small stool, and put the thought out of his mind, focusing on the script.
After reading the script, Lu Ren understood why Xu Qingqing had been assigned to their group. Her role in this production was nothing more than a decorative vase!