【Playing this big right from the start?】
【I’m fully awake now!】
【I was secretly watching this during class and almost failed to manage my facial expressions. The teacher called on me! Damn it, why do they take attendance in blow-off classes?】
The woman’s face was etched with unresolvable sorrow, and dark circles hung heavy under her eyes. She probably hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in days because of this mess.
She quickly explained her basic situation: “My husband and I just got married three months ago. But a week ago, his ex-girlfriend somehow got my phone number. She told me she’s six months pregnant and plans to keep the baby. She asked me what I was going to do about it, but what the hell can I do?”
Yin Shuwei spun the pen in her hand so fast it became a blur. She had a folder open in front of her, making her look incredibly professional. “Let’s clarify a key question first: do you want to get a divorce, or do you want to keep living with him?”
“We just bought a house. I paid part of the down payment, and we’re paying off the mortgage together…”
“Oh, so you don’t want a divorce,” Yin Shuwei hit the nail on the head.
【Run away quickly, sister! Otherwise, are you going to raise that child when it’s born? This is absolute madness.】
【Are you going to run or not? If you don’t, I’ll drive a forklift over there and force you to run.】
【Can you not be so ‘Love Brained’ over such a serious issue? You should probably pay attention to the timeline of the pregnancy versus your marriage. It’s not even guaranteed they ever actually broke up!】
The woman didn’t deny it, asking anxiously, “What can I do to minimize my losses?”
“If you don’t divorce, it’s actually quite simple,” Yin Shuwei said calmly, acting like an old sage. “Let her give birth normally. Put the child under your name. The child will call you ‘Mother’ and call her ‘Auntie’.”
The client: “Huh?”
Yin Shuwei: “Then make her go out and work. After all, this isn’t ancient times; she can’t just sit at home doing nothing, right? Make her hand over her living expenses to you every month. If she doesn’t, she doesn’t get to see the child.”
【Damn, Yin Shuwei, you truly are a freaking genius.】
【Yu Xingzhi, control your wife!】
【What kind of solution is this? The other party would have to be a complete idiot to agree.】
The woman’s mouth twitched a few times. “Counselor, stop joking with me. How could anyone hand over their biological child? Besides, it’s not my child. What if it turns out to be an ungrateful wretch? Then wouldn’t I have raised it for nothing?”
【Why are you actually considering the feasibility of this? She has a brain, but clearly not much of one.】[1]The netizen is basically saying: “Why are you actually sitting there calculating if this ridiculous palace-intrigue plan will work?! You’re trying to use your brain, but clearly, … Continue reading jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_2039469_1_1').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_2039469_1_1', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });
Perhaps feeling that Yin Shuwei’s suggestion was too out of left field, the woman turned to Yu Xingzhi, her face full of hope. “Sir, what is your advice?”
At first glance, Yu Xingzhi looked like a highly intelligent person. He gave off a faint sense of detachment but possessed an innate aura that made people want to trust him. It felt like whatever came out of his mouth would be much more reliable.
“Actually, you don’t need to raise it by your side. That child is nothing but an illegitimate heir, and she is at best an outside mistress. As long as you don’t divorce for a single day, she can never be elevated to the official wife. The child you give birth to will be the authentic, legitimate heir. You have nothing to fear.”
Yu Xingzhi’s expression was completely serious. “In some novels, the legitimate heir is allowed to sell off the illegitimate children. It’s a good thing times have changed, and that isn’t allowed anymore. However, you still possess the dignity that the official wife should have.”
Yin Shuwei snapped her fingers and looked at Yu Xingzhi with approval. “A brilliant plan! Absolutely brilliant!”
“You flatter me,” Yu Xingzhi said humbly. “It was you who inspired me.”
【You guys are actually praising each other now? I’m speechless. Put these two together, and you still couldn’t scrape together half a normal person.】
【It’s all over. My six-year-old eldest daughter listened to half of this and is now righteously demanding to sell off her little sister.】
【Wait, doesn’t that make me the legitimate eldest daughter of my family? My parents are both legitimate, and my grandparents on both sides are legitimate. That makes me the ‘legitimate-legitimate-legitimate’ eldest daughter. Are there any illegitimate siblings around for me to sell off?】
【I think it makes sense. ‘As long as I am the Empress for a day, the rest of you will forever be concubines.’ As long as the man’s heart is still at home, you don’t need to care.】
The woman was completely dumbfounded. She never expected these two seemingly kind-faced people to spout such utter nonsense.
She stood up angrily. “Is this a question of legitimate versus illegitimate?! If she gives birth to a child, won’t my husband have to raise it? That means my money is going into it too!”
Yin Shuwei: “Uh-huh?”
The woman: “If she gives birth to a son, wouldn’t that be my husband’s family’s eldest grandson? Then what about my child? If I give birth to a daughter, she won’t get much of the inheritance at all! I’ll constantly have to guard against that mistress’s son siphoning off our money. I’m mentally and physically exhausted!”
“Taking ten thousand steps back, what if my husband rekindles his old flame with her? What if he forces me to get a divorce and transfers our marital assets? Wouldn’t I have gotten married for nothing, only to be completely scammed? Do you guys understand anything at all? You’re married people too, how can you not even think of this?”
“Excuse me, how big is your house?” Yin Shuwei asked.
The woman, who had been firing off words like a machine gun, froze for a moment and answered subconsciously, “100 square meters.” (Note: ~1,000 sq ft).
Yu Xingzhi: “How many years on the mortgage?”
The woman: “Thirty years.”
Yin Shuwei spread her hands, shrugged, and scoffed. “Playing palace intrigue and aristocratic estate drama over a three-bedroom, one-living-room apartment? Aren’t you overthinking this?”
Yu Xingzhi took a sip of his tea. “By the time the mortgage is paid off, you’ll practically have one foot in the grave. Instead of worrying about inheritance distribution, you should be worrying about getting slapped by your nursing home caregiver.”
【The mouths on these two! They’re entirely classified as regulated weapons! Security checkpoints should ban them from passing through.】
【Just smacking their lips together could accidentally poison themselves to death.】
【Hahahaha but I think what they’re saying makes so much sense!】
【Such a small place, such a long mortgage… by the time that kid grows up, they could even help pay off the mortgage for a decade. What ‘transfer of assets’? You chose this kind of man and ran into this kind of situation. If you make the choice, you have to bear the consequences.】
The woman never expected to suffer such a critical hit. Her lips trembled a few times, but she couldn’t even form a complete sentence.
She was clearly just an actress given a script to play a part, so why was she genuinely so angry?
In the past, it was always the show’s actors driving the guests crazy. They had never encountered guests who were the actual lunatics.
“I… I… I just don’t want to suffer too much financial loss. Is that a crime?” The woman found her voice again, trying hard not to start cursing.
“Once the child is born, you can’t exactly stuff it back in. You’re only facing the difference of how much you’re going to lose,” Yin Shuwei said, genuinely confused.
The woman: “…Your words are way too crude.”
“Any unprotected measures are considered trying for a baby. Your husband must take responsibility. If you don’t divorce, you’ll have to raise it together,” Yin Shuwei stated, firm in her views.
Yu Xingzhi: “A person can’t have their cake and eat it too, right?”
“If you’re willing to accept it, perhaps it will be a harmonious family of four. Maybe the other party just wants to join the family, not break it apart?”
Yin Shuwei and Yu Xingzhi exchanged a glance. As if their minds were perfectly linked, they both raised their hands and high-fived, leaving the woman across from them choking speechlessly.
【What the f*** do you mean ‘join’? Starting a whole harem of wives and concubines in a three-bedroom apartment!】
【If she doesn’t divorce even after this, lock them together forever!】
Over with the other guests, the vibe was completely different. Each group had its own brand of abstract absurdity.
Especially Lin Rongrong and Lu Jinming’s group.
“I feel like my husband is too overbearing. We met on ‘Shake'[2]the dating app jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_2039469_1_2').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_2039469_1_2', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });, and after about three months, we felt we were a good match and got married. I never expected him to be that kind of person. His desire for control is insanely strong. He locked me in the house for three whole months! He doesn’t allow me to use my phone, contact anyone else, or speak to the opposite sex…”
The more Lin Rongrong listened, the weirder her expression became.
Lu Jinming, on the other hand, was listening with great relish. After the woman finished, he offered his sharp critique: “Isn’t your husband acting quite normally? He restricts your freedom because he loves you. It’s because he can’t bear to lose you. I completely understand.”
T/n: The New Chapter is Up! Stay tuned for more craziness. You can support the original author here. Please Vote up on NU here. If you’re enjoying what I am doing you can buy me a Ko-fi for extra support. Happy Reading 💅 🙃.
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