Fu Chen had just left when Qin Yuan immediately followed behind him. Fu Chen rode a motorcycle, while Qin Yuan sat inside his blue sports car.
Fu Chen’s mouth was filled with blood. As the blood welled up, he immediately swallowed it back down. His cheeks throbbed, and his fists, which had been throwing punches, were also aching. The moment the match ended, it seemed as though pain was radiating from every single part of his body.
Yet, these pains were far from enough to outweigh the surge of excitement deep inside Fu Chen’s heart: he was about to go to his lover’s coffee shop to pick him up.
The two of them had met by chance, and it was actually his lover who had taken the initiative to approach him.
At that time, however, Fu Chen had just come out of prison. Although he had acted out of righteousness to save someone, he had indeed severely injured a person, and in the eyes of others, those distinctions didn’t matter.
Many people, upon hearing that he had beaten someone up and served time, immediately turned around and stayed away from him.
But Lin Xi did not. Not only did he not leave, but one day, he even confessed his feelings to him.
That day, Fu Chen had panicked and fled on the spot, even hiding away afterward.
He had thought that if he hid for a while, Lin Xi would give up on him. But when they ran into each other again, Lin Xi simply stood right in front of him and smiled.
At that moment, seeing Lin Xi’s gentle smile, Fu Chen knew he would never love anyone else in this lifetime; he would only love Lin Xi.
Aside from Lin Xi, his heart would never flutter for anyone else.
Not long after that, the two of them moved in together.
Lin Xi had graduated from college and originally had good job prospects, but he chose to pass them up, opting instead to work as a waiter at a coffee shop.
In Fu Chen’s eyes, that was a massive sacrifice Lin Xi had made entirely for his sake. Occasionally, the urge to leave would flare up in Fu Chen’s mind, but the moment he looked at Lin Xi, those thoughts vanished instantly.
If he were to leave, there might be someone else by Lin Xi’s side, and that was a picture he simply could not bear to endure.
Originally, Fu Chen’s life was just drifting along day by day, but now things were different. A ray of light had appeared in his gloomy life, and Lin Xi was that light. He was going to create a happy life for Lin Xi.
The motorcycle sped swiftly through the dark night, soon arriving outside Lin Xi’s coffee shop. According to what Lin Xi told his colleagues, Fu Chen was his college classmate, and after graduation, they shared a rental apartment.
They didn’t immediately announce that they were lovers. While they didn’t think there was anything wrong with being in a same-sex relationship, society as a whole still contained many people who didn’t quite accept them.
The motorcycle parked right outside the door. Fu Chen looked toward the shop. It had already closed for the night, and the lights inside were all turned off.
Just as Fu Chen was about to call Lin Xi, someone approached from behind.
In a few quick strides, the person threw themselves into Fu Chen’s arms.
It was already late at night, and there weren’t many pedestrians passing by.
Even if there were people around, Lin Xi didn’t care; after all, no one knew him anyway.
Lin Xi threw himself into Fu Chen’s arms, and under the streetlamp, the moment he lifted his head, he saw the injuries on Fu Chen’s face.
His heart ached terribly, yet every time he urged Fu Chen to stop fighting, Fu Chen would tell him it would be over soon, that it wouldn’t take much longer, and that he would stop in a few more months, just long enough to earn enough money for their house.
Cupping Fu Chen’s face with both hands, right there outside the shop on the open street, Lin Xi pressed his lips to Fu Chen’s.
Fu Chen wrapped his arms around Lin Xi’s waist. Across the street, there were a few people, but they were far enough away not to notice what was happening here.
Lin Xi tasted the fresh blood in Fu Chen’s mouth, and a sharp, severe pain stabbed at his heart.
“Let us go home.”
Lin Xi said, gripping Fu Chen’s hand. Fu Chen burst out laughing. Normally a man of few words who never smiled in front of others, right now he looked utterly and completely happy.
The motorcycle started up again. With Lin Xi wrapping his arms around Fu Chen’s waist and pressing his face against Fu Chen’s broad back, it seemed there was nothing else he could do. He had never desired a huge house, but Fu Chen was determined to lay every good thing in the world at his feet.
Lin Xi’s eyes grew moist, and he fought back the grief, refusing to let himself cry.
The motorcycle quickly vanished into the night. Outside the closed coffee shop, a blue sports car slowly pulled up.
The car door opened, and Qin Yuan stepped out.
He lit a cigarette, taking deep drags over and over again. Having watched with his own eyes as Lin Xi and Fu Chen embraced and kissed, knowing full well how deep their affection was and how much pain either would feel if anything happened to the other.
Yet, watching them kiss so happily made Qin Yuan’s eyes burn with jealousy.
He gripped the cigarette butt so hard it deformed. In his past life, although it seemed he had been manipulated by the plot and thus committed many terrible deeds, his feelings for Lin Xi, his love for Lin Xi, could not simply be controlled, even after awakening as a character in a book.
“Lin Xi.”
Qin Yuan murmured the name in the depths of his agonizing heart.
So what if he forced them apart and took him by force?
Even if he died again, perhaps he could just be reborn once more.
Qin Yuan let out a harsh laugh, a laughter tinged with a faint trace of madness.
He wouldn’t be lucky enough to be reborn twice after dying.
Once was already a miracle granted by the heavens.
In truth, he was such a scumbag; he had no idea why the heavens had let him be reborn at all.
Qin Yuan lowered his gaze to look at the burning tip of the cigarette in his hand. The ember glowed brightly. Pinching the cigarette, Qin Yuan pressed it directly against the palm of his hand.
Right before he could burn himself, Qin Yuan snapped awake with a jolt.
What was he doing? Had he truly gone mad?
Going mad for someone who didn’t even love him was completely meaningless.
Even if he was going to go mad, at the very least, he had to let Lin Xi know.
However.
Qin Yuan lowered his head and let out a dry, self-deprecating laugh.
Lin Xi didn’t love him. No matter what he did, Lin Xi hadn’t shed a single tear when he died. How could he possibly expect that by casually burning himself with a cigarette, Lin Xi would feel a shred of care?
Qin Yuan tossed the cigarette butt onto the ground, crushed it out with his foot, and then bent down to pick it up, throwing it into a nearby trash can.
Back inside the car, Qin Yuan gripped the steering wheel tightly with both hands, his heart contracting in pain. Across two lifetimes, this was the first person he had ever truly loved, yet no matter what, the other person would never love him back.
Maybe he should just make Lin Xi lose his memory and then tell them they were lovers.
Qin Yuan laughed silently, laughing until his shoulders shook.
Ah.
Qin Yuan let out a sigh, dropping his head down to rest his forehead against the back of his hands.
Calm down. Living a new life meant distancing himself from everything in the past, stopping his pursuit of Lin Xi and avoiding the fate of dying for him all over again.
If he were to repeat the same old mistakes, if gods truly existed, even the gods would probably laugh out loud seeing him.
Qin Yuan slowly raised his head, fastened his seatbelt, and started the car.
He drove all the way home.
When he arrived, the entryway light was on, and the housekeeper had left it burning for him.
He changed into his slippers and hung his coat on the rack.
Walking upstairs, Qin Yuan paused slightly as he passed one of the guest rooms.
Grasping the door handle, he slowly pushed the door open. Two young women were fast asleep on the bed, deep in slumber after getting drunk.
They just happened to run into him; if they hadn’t, who knew if someone might already be dead by now.
Death.
Qin Yuan curved his lips slightly.
He didn’t step inside. Standing right at the doorway, he watched the two girls for a moment in the moonlight filtering through the window.
Closing the door, Qin Yuan walked to his own bedroom.
After taking a shower, he lay down on the bed.
Yet the moment he fell asleep, he dreamed he had returned to the past.
He was back to the moment he was stabbed and collapsed onto the ground.
Enduring the excruciating pain, he searched the crowd for Lin Xi. He quickly found him. Lin Xi wore a face of utter indifference while everyone else was frantically making phone calls. Qin Yuan even heard Fang Chen and the others panicking, but as for Lin Xi, amidst the frantic crowd around him, he just stood there coldly.
He had died for his sake, yet Lin Xi remained completely unmoved.
To Lin Xi, his death meant freedom. The fact that Lin Xi didn’t burst out laughing right then and there was practically an act of mercy on his part.
Qin Yuan began to laugh.
At the very end of his life, he still reached out a hand, wanting to touch Lin Xi one last time. But Lin Xi only stood far away, unmoving.
Darkness descended. Death descended.
Ah!
Qin Yuan bolted awake from the nightmare.
He was drenched in sweat, as if he had just been pulled straight out of the water.
Qin Yuan pulled back the blanket and immediately looked down at his abdomen.
His hands were still trembling. Just looking wasn’t enough; he reached out and patted his fingers all over his stomach.
He felt flat skin, no wounds, no thick, sticky blood.
He was alive. He hadn’t died.
Qin Yuan tried to curve his lips into a smile, but the muscles in his cheeks refused to cooperate.
He got out of bed, still soaked in sweat, hurried to the bathroom for a quick shower, changed his clothes, and walked out.
It was still early. Faint sounds drifted up from downstairs, coming from the direction of the kitchen, obviously the housekeeper preparing breakfast.
Instead of heading straight downstairs, Qin Yuan turned and walked to the adjacent guest room.
As soon as he opened the door, sunlight poured in through the window.
Neither of the two occupants in the room was awake yet.
Qin Yuan walked over to the window, where an armchair sat. He sat down, pulled out a cigarette, lit it, took a puff, and rested his arm outside the open window so the smoke wouldn’t drift entirely into the room.
Qin Yuan sat there in silence until one of the two girls slowly began to stir.
The moment she opened her eyes and realized she was lying in an unfamiliar place with a throbbing headache, the girl turned her head to look beside her and spotted her friend.
She immediately sat up, intending to wake her friend.
This place was a bit strange. It wasn’t the school dormitory; it seemed they hadn’t even made it back to school last night.
Instead, they were at someone’s house.
Just as a sudden wave of tension gripped the girl’s heart, she caught the faint scent of cigarette smoke drifting in the air. She gave a couple of light coughs.
Noticing the girl coughing by the window, the corners of Qin Yuan’s mouth lifted slightly, though he immediately stubbed out the cigarette.
Meanwhile, the short-haired girl on the bed seemed to notice at that moment that there was someone else in the room.
Her entire body stiffened instantly. Her neck turned sluggishly, and when her gaze finally locked onto Qin Yuan sitting by the window, she saw him sitting sideways, with sunlight spilling over him, half his face illuminated by the light, the other half cast in shadow.
For a moment, the girl’s gaze froze. She stared blankly at Qin Yuan, looking at the man who had suddenly set her heart aflutter this early morning.
At that moment, the aura of pure beauty radiating from Qin Yuan’s entire being looked like something straight out of a fresco.
However, the girl quickly snapped out of this spell.
She realized that their clothes had been changed, and their bodies still felt heavy, especially their heads, which remained dizzy and foggy.
She racked her brain, trying to recall what had happened last night.
Her memory cut off at a certain point: after she and her friend got into Qin Yuan’s car, everything that followed was a complete blank.
The girl’s heart trembled, and her lips quivered. She had a million questions she wanted to ask: Who changed their clothes? Why was Qin Yuan sitting by the bed? Was this Qin Yuan’s house?
Didn’t he say he was taking them back to school? Why were they at Qin Yuan’s place instead?
All these questions rushed to the tip of her tongue, but her throat felt blocked by something, and not a single syllable came out.
Right at that moment, a soft knock came from outside the door, a sound that felt like a hammer striking the girl’s heart, making her whole body give a start.
“Come in.”
Qin Yuan said in a calm voice.
The housekeeper outside pushed the door open and entered, holding two sets of clothes in her hands.
Stepping into the room, she saw Qin Yuan sitting by the window and noticed the somewhat strange atmosphere in the room.
The housekeeper didn’t know what had happened, nor would she pry.
She knew Qin Yuan lived a somewhat wild life, but almost no girls had ever been brought to this room before.
Now, two had suddenly appeared, and judging by Qin Yuan’s attitude and tone, he seemed to care quite a bit about them.
The housekeeper had a daughter of her own. Although her daughter wasn’t as old as these two girls, seeing them instantly softened her heart.
Carrying the clothes inside, the housekeeper placed them neatly by the side of the bed.
“You both drank way too heavily yesterday, so I helped change your clothes. I have washed and dried these for you. You can put them on shortly.”
“Qin Shao, breakfast is almost ready.”
“Alright.”
Qin Yuan nodded.
The housekeeper walked out, gently pulling the door shut behind her.