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The Cannon Fodder Lead Just Wants to Slack Off and Cuddle Cats

Chapter 8 / 73

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Chapter 8 of 73

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Chapter 8

The Cannon Fodder Lead Just Wants to Slack Off and Cuddle Cats

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The black cat held its head high, its gaze fixed on her. A faint pattern, like cracks in an ice floe, flashed across its beautiful golden eyes.

Qu Qi stepped past the circle of shivering spirits and stood before the cat. Holding her umbrella in one hand and her other hand on her hip, she delivered a soul-searching interrogation: “You naughty kitten, explain yourself! Where have you been fooling around these past few days?”

She didn’t notice that her tone was as resentful and aggrieved as a discarded concubine in the Cold Palace.Full novel: The Cannon Fodder Lead Just Wants to Slack Off and Cuddle Cats — read the rest free on N​o⁠v​e⁠l​C⁠o​d⁠e​x⁠.​o⁠r​g⁠

The black cat tilted its head. It seemed not to understand her question at all; it simply blinked its golden eyes and watched her with utter composure.

Qu Qi had the feeling that this mysterious black cat had always understood human speech. Sometimes its demeanor was that of a sentient, intelligent being. It didn’t purr, chase its tail, or groom itself like a normal cat, nor did it butter up humans for food. It was always content to stay silent in the shadows, seemingly uninterested in everything around it.

Like right now, the cat seemed to know she was angry, but it remained completely unmoved.

Qu Qi silently clenched her fists. So annoying! No, I have to stay calm. I can’t let a cat break my defense.

Sensing her intense emotions, the black cat suddenly stood up, leaned forward to grab the hem of her skirt in its teeth, and gave it a tug.

Qu Qi: “?”

With its cheeks bulging slightly from the effort of gripping the fabric, the cat began to drag her forward, inch by inch. Qu Qi never imagined a cat could have such strength; she weighed nearly a hundred pounds, yet it was pulling her along with ease.

Seeing her center of gravity becoming unstable, Qu Qi had to stop it: “Wait, wait! Slow down, let me walk! I’m going to fall!”

Only then did the black cat let go. It stopped and sat on its haunches to look at her. Even though it was just a cat, this simple action was full of an indescribable elegance and nobility.

Qu Qi tried to fish for information: “Where are you taking me?”

The black cat let out a meow and tilted its head slightly, gesturing for her to look behind it.

To its surprise, Qu Qi said rebelliously, “I’m not looking. I’m still mad.”

Black Cat: “…”

Qu Qi put both hands on her hips and looked down at it with what she thought was a cold, stern expression. “I’m telling you, it’s no use trying to win me over now. Unless you coax me for ten or twenty sentences, I won’t forgive you.”

The black cat looked up at her nostrils from its “death’s-eye” perspective. It paused, its deep black pupils swirling as if in thought. Suddenly, it stood up and walked toward her.

Qu Qi: “What are you doing?”

The black cat stopped at her feet. Its soft body rubbed against her once, and its long black tail swept through the air, hooking around her slender ankle.

Qu Qi: “!”

The cat let out a soft meow. Though its face was written with “reluctance,” its body was quite honest as it circled the human, rubbing against her.

Under this fluffy offensive, Qu Qi’s resolve crumbled. She couldn’t help but squat down and rub the cat’s head. The black cat went limp on the ground, obediently letting her pet it from head to tail.

Pink bubbles of joy rose around Qu Qi. Having successfully petted the cat, her anger evaporated. She nodded with great satisfaction. “Fine, I suppose I can force myself to forgive you.”

Please—who could refuse a kitten taking the initiative to be sweet? Certainly not her.

Having endured the humiliation of being ruffled, the black cat shook itself slightly and stood up. It gripped Qu Qi’s skirt again, signaling her to follow.

This time, Qu Qi followed obediently. Following the cat’s lead, she suddenly noticed a dark, gaping hole that had appeared directly in front of the nameless headstone.

The Secret Passage

The black cat pulled Qu Qi to the edge of the hole and signaled for her to look down. Qu Qi’s expression shifted from confusion to shock. “…What on earth is this?”

The circular opening was just large enough for a person to pass through. Below the opening was a trapdoor fastened with a wooden bolt. The door was half-open, and the darkness inside was so thick that not a sliver of light could penetrate it—it looked like a bottomless abyss, exuding a cold, frenzied aura that silently beckoned to travelers.

Intuition told Qu Qi that this was not a good place. She instinctively stepped back, but the black cat held her skirt tight, making it impossible to move.

Qu Qi: Held by the Throat of Fate.jpg

She put her hands on her hips and put on a serious face to educate the cat: “Mimi, this is where you’re wrong. The ancients said the dead are greatest; we must respect them and not trespass into their resting places.”

Spirits nearby: “…” Black Cat: “…” (You’ve been eating BBQ and reading novels on people’s graves—don’t you feel a blush saying that?)

The black cat extended a paw and gave a light push. The trapdoor swung fully open, and a wave of freezing Yin energy rushed out. It stepped inside, then turned around at the threshold to gaze at Qu Qi. Its eyes seemed to be saying: Hey, pretty lady, come in and play~ come on~

Qu Qi felt bewildered and guessed, “You want me to go in with you?”

Black Cat: “Meow.”

Qu Qi suddenly had an idea. She said considerately, “I can go in, but you have to agree to one condition.”

Black Cat: “Meow?”

Qu Qi: “Wear this.”

She pulled out the Rain-Bells and shook them in her hand, showing them to the cat. The cat’s gaze fell on her palm; it remained silent.

Qu Qi argued her case with logic: “Look, think about it. Ancient tombs are usually huge, with lots of secret passages and traps. What if we get lost and can’t find each other? That would be terrifying! I’ll be fine, but a little kitty like you would definitely be scared to death!”

“But if you wear this bell, we’ll always know where the other is, and it’ll be easier for me to find you. How about it? Doesn’t that make perfect sense?”

The black cat said: “…Meow.”

Qu Qi: “You agree, right? I don’t care, you agreed.”

“Meow!?”

Seeing no major resistance, Qu Qi stepped forward and squatted down to rub the cat’s head. Feeling the fragrant, soothing scent on her fingertips, the black cat dazed for a moment, its pointed ears twitching.

In the next second, the red cord was pulled over the cat’s head and settled around its neck.

Black Cat: “…” Cunning woman.

It lowered its head slightly, feeling the thin red string around its neck. It couldn’t help but bare its teeth, causing the bell to jingle.

Qu Qi smiled with crescent eyes. “Mimi is such a good girl.” She acted as if she couldn’t see the cat’s murderous expression at all.

The spirits watching nearby nearly had their eyes pop out. “She didn’t get torn to shreds by that human?!” “My, my, there’s always someone who can tame a beast. Who knew the Great Demon Lord would be ‘handled’ like this one day!”

The Underground Corridor

The black cat stared at Qu Qi with a look of utter impatience, silently reminding her to move.

Qu Qi soothed it: “Okay, okay, don’t rush. I’m coming.”

She wasn’t one to break her word, so she followed the cat into the trapdoor. The air at the bottom was so still there wasn’t even a breeze—it felt like the basement in a horror movie where the protagonist inevitably goes to die. Surely there would be something terrifying down here: Annabelle, a chainsaw maniac, or skeletons that turn their heads.

Qu Qi swallowed hard, thinking about turning back. But watching the cat’s thin body being swallowed by the darkness, she worried for it and gathered her courage to follow.

As soon as she stepped into the gloom, whoosh! A series of bright torches flared up in sequence, illuminating a long, narrow corridor. The air smelled faintly of dust and dampness, like grass after a storm.

The corridor was only wide enough for two people. The low ceiling felt close to Qu Qi’s head, making the space feel oppressive. On both sides of the walls, a row of identical white candles burned brightly. As a draft blew in from the entrance, the flames flickered, causing the shadows on the walls to distort and writhe, creating a spine-chilling atmosphere.

The black cat stopped at the end of the hall and looked at her. “Meow.”

Qu Qi hurried to its side, rubbing the goosebumps on her arms. She whispered, “Mimi, the Yin energy here is so heavy. It’s scary.”

If she didn’t have the Extreme Yin Constitution, she probably wouldn’t be able to stand this place. Did I accidentally enter some major quest dungeon? Please no! I just wanted to hide until the final round!

The black cat glanced at her and turned to keep walking. It walked with a standard feline gait—completely silent paws—but the silver bell on its neck made a distinct tinkling sound that echoed in the quiet corridor.

Qu Qi followed, looking left and right, her mouth unable to stop moving: “Mimi, what kind of person do you think the owner of this tomb was? No name on the stone, and the ghosts outside won’t come near. Usually, this setup means the owner was either a total boss or major cannon fodder.”

“I’ve been here so long and haven’t seen the tomb owner’s soul. Maybe they were a socially anxious shut-in even in death?”

“This tomb is built so strangely. The path is all twists and turns is it trying to make grave robbers dizzy?” At this point, Qu Qi clasped her hands in a prayer. “Amitabha! Benefactor, I’m not a grave robber. I’m just accompanying my kitty for a tour. My apologies, my apologies.”

“Hahaha, Mimi, you really are so black. If it weren’t for the candles, you’d blend into the darkness perfectly and I’d lose you forever.”

The Socially-Anxious-Shut-In Black Cat: “…Meow.”

Qu Qi saw its tail puffing up slightly and rubbed her nose sheepishly. “Cough, sorry. I’m just a bit scared. Whenever I’m nervous, I can’t stop talking…”

The black cat suddenly stopped. Ahead, a stone door blocked their way. It was covered in mottled moss, appearing as if it had been settled there for many long years.

Qu Qi volunteered: “Let me handle this!”

She couldn’t hide behind a cat forever, could she? A high-level task like opening a door should be left to the human!

The black cat sat down on the spot and tilted its head, finally showing a bit of interest. It wanted to see what kind of mess she would make.

Qu Qi stepped forward and gave the door a light push. It didn’t move.

“Heh, a little challenge. I’ve always liked pushing my limits.”

Qu Qi frowned, took a horse stance, centered her breathing, and let out a loud shout: “HA!”

Using every bit of strength she possessed, she pushed forward with both hands.

The stone door remained as steady as a mountain. Not even a speck of dust fell.

The black cat watched her trembling horse stance and her “weak” movements, appearing to have a lot to say but choosing silence.

Qu Qi: “…”

It’s over. I’ve lost my human dignity in front of Mimi again.

She looked around with a heavy heart, searching for a hole deep enough to jump in and bury herself on the spot.

Full novel: The Cannon Fodder Lead Just Wants to Slack Off and Cuddle Cats — read the rest free on N​o⁠v​e⁠l​C⁠o​d⁠e​x⁠.​o⁠r​g⁠
📱NovelCodex for AndroidYour library, progress and tokens, in an app made for reading on your phone.Get the app
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