“Are you willing to give me a chance to pursue you?”
“……”
Lin Yutian blinked, not daring to make a sound. She seriously doubted whether she was even awake yet otherwise, why was such a bizarre conversation happening? No matter how silly she was, she wasn’t so dense that she didn’t understand the meaning behind Si Yan’s words.
But… why?
Seeing that Lin Yutian didn’t answer, Si Yan’s fingers resting on her knees curled slightly, and her breathing slowed down significantly. She reached out and pinched Lin Yutian’s cheek, feigning a relaxed tone, “Stunned?”
Lin Yutian’s mind was in a mess. She knew well that Si Yan’s words might not carry much sincerity, yet she felt a shameful flutter in her heart. But quickly, she regained her composure. In the original plot, Si Yan had a “white moonlight” (a lost love), so nothing she said now could be taken at face value.
Besides, the heart of an emperor is unpredictable. One moment she could say she likes you, and the next, she could have you executed for any number of reasons. Perhaps Si Yan was only acting like this because she had never been intimate with anyone else. Once she tried others, she would realize Lin Yutian wasn’t special at all.
“Your Majesty, please stop joking.” She gave a dry laugh and looked away, her voice very soft. “There are so many beautiful people in the world. Many are better than me.”
Si Yan keenly captured the hidden meaning behind her words. “You don’t believe me.”
Lin Yutian didn’t want to discuss this topic further, so she tried her old trick again, clutching her head and humming lowly, “My head feels a bit dizzy, I’ll sleep first.”
Before she could finish, Si Yan grabbed her wrist and pinned her to the bed. Si Yan’s ink-black hair slid from her shoulders, brushing against Lin Yutian’s cheeks. Those eyes, dark as night, stared intently at her. “Pretending to faint won’t work today.”
To Si Yan, Lin Yutian was like a clam hiding a pearl. Usually, she wrapped herself tight, refusing to let anyone in. Only in rare, accidental moments would she peek out, revealing the soft, white flesh within. Si Yan was determined to seize this opportunity. She wouldn’t use brute force to pry her open instead, she would place a finger in the gap so Lin Yutian wouldn’t feel the crisis of her pearl being stolen, yet couldn’t snap the shell shut again. Si Yan knew that for Lin Yutian, the hardest part was the moment of opening up. Everything after that could be taken slow.
Her acting exposed, Lin Yutian countered guiltily, “What do you mean pretending? I really am dizzy.”
Si Yan stared at her, saying nothing. Lin Yutian felt increasingly uncomfortable under that gaze, especially since she was pinned down and couldn’t move.
The room fell silent. Si Yan didn’t rush her, and Lin Yutian gradually realized that Si Yan was going to force an answer out of her today. If she didn’t know about the “future,” she might have tried to speak her true feelings. But she did know. She knew Si Yan would end up with someone else, so she couldn’t allow herself to do something so “immoral.”
Si Yan belonged to someone else.
After a long time of mental preparation, Lin Yutian said weakly, “Si Yan, I’m just an insignificant person with no status.”
An insignificant person whose death would go unnoticed and unrecorded. Stripped of her usual defensive toughness, this was the first time Lin Yutian spoke to Si Yan so calmly. Her eyelashes trembled uncontrollably as she spoke.
But Si Yan remained silent, watching her. Thinking Si Yan hadn’t understood, Lin Yutian bit her lip and decided to be blunt: “And have you forgotten my mission? I’m here to kill you. If you keep me by your side, I will kill you eventually.”
Still, Si Yan didn’t speak. Panicking, Lin Yutian searched her mind for any other reason to reject her. Finally, she remembered the most crucial point: “And… I don’t even like girls. Even if Your Majesty speaks in flowers, it won’t change that… fact.”
Words she had spoken with absolute certainty three months ago were now barely a whisper.
Still silence.
“I…” Lin Yutian got stuck. She had run out of reasons to attack Si Yan.
“Ayu.” Seeing her face turning completely red, Si Yan finally spoke. Her phoenix-like eyes curved slightly, the sharp edges softening as a smile touched her lips. “If you want to refuse me, you could simply say you don’t like me.”
Lin Yutian had rambled so much, yet not once did she say she didn’t like her. To Si Yan, all those excuses were just Lin Yutian’s duplicitous way of expressing her affection.
Lin Yutian’s heart jolted, fearing she had exposed herself. She blustered, “What I meant just now was that I won’t like you. I just didn’t say it directly.”
Unfortunately, she had no idea that from the tips of her ears down to her collarbone, her skin was flushed pink more vivid than a beauty in a romance novel. She had zero credibility. Yet, she thought she had performed well, even wondering if someone as proud as Si Yan would lash out at her for being ungrateful.
Si Yan tilted her chin, forcing eye contact, a smirk playing on her lips. “That’s perfect, then.”
“I happen to like ‘twisted melons’ (forced love).”
This answer was completely outside Lin Yutian’s expectations. Her eyes widened, wondering if Si Yan had misheard her. She said she didn’t like her, so why was she leaning in? Where was this woman’s pride?
“Si Yan,” Lin Yutian’s voice trembled as she tried the most “vicious” words she could think of. “Aren’t you devaluing yourself by falling for an assassin like me?”
Even she felt she was being too much. How could she poke someone’s heart like that?
Sure enough, Si Yan’s expression changed. Lin Yutian silently apologized in her heart.
“How is it devaluing to simply like someone?” Si Yan said. “I am also a human being.”
This sentence completely stunned Lin Yutian. She hadn’t expected Si Yan to remain so calm after such a harsh remark. Now, Lin Yutian was truly speechless. Si Yan suspected that if she poked the “clam’s” soft interior now, it would only respond dazed and defenseless.
Si Yan hadn’t intended to force her to accept everything at once. Today, she just wanted Lin Yutian to understand her heart and to gauge Lin Yutian’s feelings. Having achieved her goal, Si Yan knew when to stop.
“I’m not asking for an answer today.” Si Yan leaned down and kissed Lin Yutian’s forehead slowly. “Don’t feel too pressured.”
Lin Yutian gripped the quilt. Having received so much unexpected information, her thoughts were a mess.
“Are you still going to have someone break my legs?” Lin Yutian asked in a small voice.
Si Yan paused, about to speak when a knock came at the door.
“Your Majesty, the item is here.”
Si Yan swallowed what she was going to say. “Bring it in.”
Lin Yutian saw a maid carrying a box, its contents hidden. Her internal alarms went off. Si Yan had threatened to break her legs the moment she woke up, could this box contain torture instruments? Was Si Yan going to do it herself?
Si Yan took the box. Before she could open it, Lin Yutian complained aggrievedly, “How can you be like this? You just said you liked me, and now you’re going to break my legs?”
Si Yan’s movements paused. She looked at Lin Yutian sideways. “What else can I do? Ayu isn’t being good, so she must be disciplined.”
Lin Yutian was left speechless by her self-righteous tone. Truly, the heart of an emperor is fickle. Luckily she hadn’t fallen for that “fake” confession.
“Fine, if you’re going to do it, just do it.” Lin Yutian dove into the covers, turning her back, her heart feeling sour. It was just broken legs. If they were broken, she probably wouldn’t like Si Yan anymore. Trading two legs for a “normal” orientation wasn’t a bad deal.
Thinking this, she felt a bit better. The next moment, she felt the covers at her feet being lifted, and Si Yan gently grasped her ankle.
“I’m going to do it now. You’ll have to endure it.”
“…I don’t need you to remind me.” Lin Yutian buried her face in the covers, wondering how it would happen. Would she hit her with the box?
But soon, she felt a coolness on her calf, followed by a gentle kneading. She blinked in confusion. After a few seconds, she poked her head out and peeked toward Si Yan.
There were no torture tools.
She only saw the open box on Si Yan’s lap, containing white jade medicine jars. Si Yan’s gaze was lowered, her long lashes casting shadows as her slender fingers gently rubbed ointment onto Lin Yutian’s legs.
From her calves to her ankles, there were small, swollen scratches. She had been in such a rush to escape last night, falling numerous times, but the adrenaline had masked the pain. Now that Si Yan was touching them, the ache became apparent.
Lin Yutian clutched the quilt and whispered, “Didn’t you want to break my legs?”
Si Yan looked up, smiling. “Naturally. I’ll wait until these wounds heal before breaking them. It’ll hurt more then, and Ayu will remember the lesson better.”
This time, Lin Yutian didn’t believe her. If Si Yan really intended to do that, why heal her? She wouldn’t even let these tiny scratches remain.
Could it be that what Si Yan said earlier wasn’t a lie?
Thinking this, Lin Yutian felt the skin Si Yan was touching begin to itch. She tried to pull her foot away. “…It’s dirty. I’ll do it myself.”
Si Yan refused to let go. “Is Ayu not even going to give me a chance to prove myself?”
Lin Yutian was dazed. “Prove what?”
Si Yan raised her beautiful eyes, her tone playful yet laced with a hidden sincerity. “Didn’t you claim I wasn’t being serious about you?”
“Ayu, are you willing to give me a chance to pursue you?”