Life and death are predetermined matters.
Tao Tao left the bathhouse. The late summer breeze still carried warmth, quickly drying her hair.
With not a single coin in her pocket and an empty stomach, she wandered like a lost soul through the interconnected streets of Shencheng.
As she walked, Tao Tao caught the scent of food.
Not far ahead was a large courtyard. White couplets were pasted on both sides of the entrance, and people coming and going were dressed in black and white. Outside the gate, a line of moderate length had formed. Guests would stuff money into a box at the entrance before entering the courtyard—the aroma of food wafted from within.
Without a moment’s hesitation, Tao Tao walked straight to the end of the line.
In front of her stood a man. He registered his name at the table by the entrance, pulled a thousand yuan from his wallet, stuffed it into the box, and then went inside.
When it was Tao Tao’s turn, the person in charge of registration glanced at her.
Tao Tao quickly ran forward to catch up with the man, patted his shoulder, and cheerfully called out, “Hey, Uncle—”
Hearing this, the person at the registration desk paid her no further mind.
The man turned around, looking at her with confusion. Tao Tao wore an indifferent expression. “Oh, my mistake.”
In the center of the courtyard stood a portrait of the deceased. People bowed before it, and many banquet tables were set up nearby. Clearly, a funeral feast was being held for relatives and friends.
Tao Tao found a table in the corner and sat down. It wasn’t mealtime yet, and the dishes weren’t fully served. She scooped up some rice and started eating directly.
“Who is she?”
“I don’t know. Maybe a classmate of the child’s.”
“Why does she look like she’s never eaten before? The feast hasn’t even started yet…”
The people around exchanged puzzled glances, unsure where this unfamiliar girl had come from, but no one dared to approach and ask.
Tao Tao felt no embarrassment. She devoured three bowls of rice in one go and even went to the soup bucket to ladle some pork rib soup.
After her whirlwind feast, she was full. Leaning back in her chair under the warm sun, she dozed off. At some point, a boy of about sixteen or seventeen appeared in the seat beside her.
The boy’s features were shattered, his flesh mangled, and dark energy swirled around him. He nudged Tao Tao. “Hey! You’ve got some nerve, daring to freeload at a funeral feast. The deceased deserves respect—aren’t you afraid the ghost will seek revenge for your disrespect?”
Tao Tao was jolted awake and stared at him coldly. The boy looked shocked. “I can actually touch you? Are you dead too? No, you have a shadow—you’re alive!”
Tao Tao turned over and tried to go back to sleep, but the boy, as if discovering something novel, kept poking her. “Wake up!”
Annoyed by the disturbance, Tao Tao reached behind her back, mimicking the motion of drawing a sword. “Looking to die?”
The boy glanced fearfully at her Peachwood Sword and whispered, “Who are you, really? I jumped from a building three days ago, and no one has spoken to me since. Aside from the monks performing the rites, you’re the first person who can see me. And I can touch you—how is that possible?”
His face was smashed, and his limbs moved awkwardly, clearly having been stitched back together at the funeral home. He still couldn’t control them properly.
Unable to sleep, Tao Tao rubbed her eyes. “There are so many people here. Why talk only to me?”
“Because your scent is special.” The boy ghost pointed around. “Those people, the buildings, the plants, even the food on the table—they either have no scent or give off a foul plastic smell. I feel like vomiting whenever I get close. The monk I saw yesterday had a faint fragrance, but it was very light. As for you…”
He licked his lips.
“…Sweet as syrup, makes you want to take a bite.”
“Oh?” Tao Tao set down her Peachwood Sword, propping it between two chairs.
The boy hastily stepped back: “I was just saying, it’s not like I’d actually eat you. If you died, who would talk to me? You smell nice, just like the monk, but he can’t hear me, and I can’t touch him either. So boring.”
“Hey, talk to me. The monk said that once the resentment on me dissipates, I’ll have to go to the underworld.”
The afternoon sun was glaring. Tao Tao used a straw hat someone had left on the table to cover her face: “Why did you jump?”
The boy glanced toward a weary-looking middle-aged couple in the distance: “I skipped class. My dad slapped me, and in a fit of anger, I jumped from the school corridor.”
“Oh.” Tao Tao asked, “Do you regret it?”
The boy ghost said fiercely: “Not at all. I wanted to get back at them. Seeing them regret it makes me happy. When I was alive, they wouldn’t let me play games for more than an hour, wouldn’t let me play basketball every day, wouldn’t let me go out with friends at night. I had to go to cram schools every day to learn all kinds of skills, with no time to play.”
“My dad hit me in front of my classmates when the teacher said I skipped class, but I just went to the rooftop to sleep. The night before, I stayed up until dawn doing homework and practiced calligraphy for half an hour. I was really tired. Now it’s fine—I’m dead. I can sleep as long as I want, and no one can control me.”
Tao Tao: “First-time parents often overlook things.”
The boy ghost: “They never loved me. They just wanted me to learn more skills so they could show off in front of their friends.”
“I know a boy, younger than you, who grew up under his family’s expectations. Besides studying academic subjects and skills, he had to learn golf, horseback riding, skiing, etiquette—everything you can think of. He could sleep at most five hours a day. He found life dull and without freedom. Plus, he resented his father. Like you, he once thought about running away or dying to get back at his family.”
The boy ghost asked: “Did he die?”
“No.”
“Because he didn’t dare?”
“Because he later realized that living is for oneself, not for anyone else. The same goes for dying. To roast oneself on the Karmic Fire of the Wrongful Death Prison for the sake of revenge is a foolish and unwise thing.”
The boy ghost felt a chill down his spine: “Will I suffer such torment when I reach hell?”
Tao Tao didn’t answer, so the boy ghost changed the subject: “Tell me about yourself.”
“What is there to say?”
“Anything, whatever.”
“I’m an orphan. I was picked up by the old man and brought back to Qingfengguan when I was still in swaddling clothes. Everyone says the old man is greedy, lustful, cowardly, and shrewd. He does have many flaws—his cooking is terrible, he can’t wash clothes clean, and the geese he raises keep coming into my room to mess around and squawk.” Tao Tao fell silent for a moment. “But he’s my only family.”
“When I was little, I had a strange illness. I would cry as soon as night fell. The old man took care of me all the time, and his hair turned gray because of my illness. When I was seven, someone cured me, but as a price, everyone told me I wouldn’t live past eighteen.”
“That’s awful,” the boy ghost sighed. “Was that person trying to harm you?”
“No, I’m very grateful to him,” Tao Tao said. “Being able to live ten years without illness or disaster is a luxury for me.”
“How much longer until you turn eighteen?”
Tao Tao remained silent for a long time before whispering, “I celebrated my birthday last month.”
“Then you’re not…”
“Yes.” Tao Tao removed her straw hat. The midday sun slanted down, stinging her eyes. “I’m still alive, but my master is dead, and the person who cured my illness is missing, his fate unknown. I often think that perhaps they shielded me from a calamity, which is why I can still sit here and see such a brilliant sun.”
“You must be very sad,” the boy asked considerately. “Do you need a tissue?”
“No, if you bring a tissue now, people would be terrified if they saw. My tear ducts are already damaged—I can’t cry, and there’s nothing worth crying about anyway.” Tao Tao closed her eyes, feeling the breeze brushing past her ears. “Life and death are predetermined. The dead are gone, and the living carry on. Those separated in this world will eventually reunite in another.”
“Another world…” The boy looked bewildered. “What is it like?”
Tao Tao smiled lazily. “You wouldn’t want to know.”
The ghost boy studied Tao Tao closely. “It seems you’re more unfortunate than me. I never suffered from any serious illness, nor did I experience the loss of loved ones. My only trouble was my parents always trying to control me.”
“Actually… I lied to you earlier. I wasn’t happy at all. The moment I jumped, I regretted it.”
“Standing beside my own corpse, watching them cry until they fainted, I suddenly felt so sad. Even though they were strict and placed too many expectations on me, to the point of seeming cold, they would stay up with me when I practiced calligraphy late at night. My mom would wake up half an hour early to make breakfast, and no matter how busy my dad was with work, he would drive me to school… Just like you said, they were also first-time parents. I shouldn’t have punished them this way.”
“And…” The ghost boy sobbed, “I haven’t lived enough yet. Is there any way I can not die?”
Tao Tao replied, “No. If you can still reincarnate, live well.”
The ghost boy looked dejected. “You mustn’t follow my example. Even though the people you love have left this world, they surely want you to live well—to live on for their sake too.”
Tao Tao said nothing. She had eaten her fill and rested well. Just as she was about to leave, a group of women who had been observing her from a distance approached.
The haggard woman leading them asked, “Young lady, are you my son’s friend?”
“I came here for a free meal,” Tao Tao said frankly. She packed her things and looked up to see the ghost boy’s reddened eyes.
Another woman chimed in, “Young lady, you might not be familiar with our customs here. We welcome guests to share in our joy at celebrations, but it’s inappropriate to attend a funeral feast casually—it’s considered unlucky. Besides, the food hasn’t been served yet, and the banquet hasn’t even started. Isn’t it a bit improper for you to sit here?”
Tao Tao ignored her.
The woman whispered to her friend, “She’s so shameless. Even this won’t drive her away…”
Tao Tao suddenly spoke up. “I don’t want to say something so sentimental.”
“Please,” the ghost boy pleaded softly. “I already know I was wrong.”
“Say something else.”
“No, just this. It’s my final wish in this world.”
The woman said, “Who are you talking to? Are you really not leaving? I’m going to call security.”
The young ghost’s mother quickly interjected, “Forget it, forget it, let her stay. Consider it as accumulating virtue for the child. It’s not a big deal anyway.”
Tao Tao frowned, looking troubled. Just as the woman was about to leave, she spoke up, “Wait.”
The young ghost’s mother turned back, “Young lady, is there something else?”
Tao Tao muttered, “I’ve never said anything like this to anyone before.”
She looked at the woman, “Xiao Jun asked me to pass on a message. Your birthday is coming up, and he already bought a gift for you. It’s hidden behind the box under the bed in the guest room. Remember to check it when you get back.”
The woman’s pupils suddenly contracted, and then tears uncontrollably streamed down her face in large drops.
“He also said he was wrong. If there’s a chance in the next life, he would still choose to be reborn into this family. By then, he wants to be a girl, so he won’t make you angry all the time. He loves you and Dad very much, so please don’t grieve for him anymore.”
After saying this, Tao Tao fled as if escaping for her life. The moment she stepped out of the courtyard gate, the woman’s heart-wrenching cries echoed from behind.
“See, I told you I didn’t want to do this kind of thing. I’m covered in goosebumps,” she said to the young ghost beside her.
His face was still terrifying, but the dark aura swirling around him had mostly dissipated. He smiled at Tao Tao, “Thank you. You’re a good person.”
“I’m not,” Tao Tao lowered her head. “I’m selfish and conflicted. Not long ago, I messed something up because I hesitated.”
“Then why were you willing to talk with me for so long and help me?”
Tao Tao paused for a moment, then raised her hand to shield her eyes from the glaring sun. “Walking through this bustling world, yet being an outsider who can’t truly fit in—sometimes I feel lonely too, just like you.”
“No, you’re a good person.” The last trace of dark aura around the young ghost vanished completely.
The blurred, bloody flesh on his face disappeared, revealing a handsome face with a radiant smile. “Good people won’t be lonely forever.”
Tao Tao smiled, “Then I’ll take your kind words as a blessing.”