One day in September, Gu Ming finally took a three-day break after that last meeting. She truly rested—not by drinking, but by clearing her mind and sorting things out. She spent one day finding an apartment and another moving all her belongings from Shi Lei’s place to her new rental. She had never bought property in Chengdu because she had lived with Shi Lei and had a home, so she had never planned for it. Shi Lei was not home when she moved her things.
After packing her belongings and composing her feelings, she finally called Shi Lei. “Let’s meet at 6:00 PM.”
Shi Lei was overwhelmed by the unexpected favor and dressed to the nines. When he arrived, it was like a scene from a TV drama; he opened his trunk to reveal a carload of roses. He had always been skilled at these little romantic gestures. Gu Ming’s eyes felt dry and heavy as she watched him through the window. It felt as though they were separated by lifetimes; the Shi Lei of the past and the Shi Lei of the present were no longer the same person. Gu Ming had to admit that time moves on, people change, and feelings fade.
With a mysterious air, Shi Lei carried the largest bouquet into the restaurant. Gu Ming sat expressionless by the window. She had chosen this place because it was high-end and expensive; even during the evening rush, it wasn’t too crowded. Shi Lei tried to hand her the flowers, but she didn’t take them. He had no choice but to set them on the table. “Xiao Ming, you’re finally willing to see me. I’ve searched all over Chengdu these past two days but couldn’t find you. Where did you go?”
Gu Ming looked at the nervous face opposite her. It had been a long time since she had seen Shi Lei look this anxious; lately, his expressions toward her were either impatient or dismissive. The thought pained her, but she desperately suppressed her emotions, took a deep breath, and said, “I’ve been staying in a hotel. Also, I’ve moved all my things out. I found a new place to live.”
Gu Ming’s words were so concise and direct that Shi Lei’s entire body went stiff. “What do you mean by that?”
“The meaning is already quite clear.”
“Xiao Ming… stop joking. We’re supposed to get married in October.”
“Is that so?” Gu Ming arched an eyebrow.
“Xiao Ming, let me explain. That girl was just someone I met at a bar. I had been drinking and I made a mistake. Forgive me; it won’t happen again. Truly, I’ll never see her again.”
“Shi Lei!” Gu Ming bit her lip hard. “Out of respect for all the years we’ve spent together, I’m only going to ask you this once. Don’t lie to me. You slept with her, didn’t you?”
It wasn’t even a question that needed asking, yet it had to be said. Shi Lei’s face turned ashen. He grabbed Gu Ming’s hand, pleading and apologizing repeatedly. “Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming, I was wrong. I was overwhelmed with the wedding preparations lately, and you were always working overtime. I was feeling depressed, so I went to bars. I lost my head and made a mistake. I can’t possibly have anything real with her. You can punish me however you want, just don’t move out.”
“You haven’t answered my question.” Gu Ming tried to pull her hand away, but Shi Lei held on tight.
Shi Lei looked up, tears in his eyes.
Gu Ming didn’t wait for his answer. She used all her strength to wrench her hand free and said with a choked voice, “You tell your parents yourself. I’ll talk to mine. I’ll have to trouble you with the wedding cancellations since you handled most of the arrangements and are more familiar with the details…” She stood up, tears streaming down her face. She walked away hurriedly, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. Shi Lei stood there, stunned and motionless. After a moment, he threw the flowers on the table and rushed out after her. Gu Ming hadn’t gone far. He stepped forward and grabbed her. “Are you really breaking up with me? Are you sure? Can you really just let go?”
Of course she couldn’t let go, but what she couldn’t let go of was the uncorrupted love and the faithful lover from the past. Gu Ming turned her face away.
“We’ve been together for ten years. Ten years, Xiao Ming! Forgive me, okay? If you can’t, I’ll spend the rest of my life by your side begging for your forgiveness. There won’t be a next time. Don’t break up with me… hit me, scold me, anything is fine…”
Gu Ming didn’t want to engage in a public tug-of-war on the street. She wasn’t one to drag things out. After so many years of history, she had already spent days drinking and losing her composure; it was finally over. Looking at this man, her heart still ached, but Zhong Xiao’ou was right: betrayal is betrayal. There was no future for her and Shi Lei. She pried his hand off and climbed into a taxi. Knowing she was going to have a final showdown with Shi Lei tonight, she hadn’t dared to drive, fearing she would lose control of her emotions. She thought ending a ten-year relationship would be impossible to voice, that it would be agonizing. Yet now, sitting in the taxi, was she already so pained that she had gone numb? Her mind was a complete blank.
“Where to?” the driver asked.
Gu Ming was dazed. It took her a long while to remember the name of her new apartment complex. In her daze, Mu Yao called. “Where are you?”
“In a car.”
“Come out and eat. I haven’t had dinner yet.”
Gu Ming had no appetite and no energy, but in the end, she went to meet Mu Yao. She simply didn’t want to be alone at a time like this.
…
Seeing Gu Ming’s poor complexion, Mu Yao gave her a hug. Since the day they accidentally caught Shi Lei, she had called Gu Ming several times, but Gu Ming hadn’t answered because she hadn’t wanted to deal with anyone back then.
“What do you want to eat? My treat today, anything you want.” Mu Yao placed the menu in front of Gu Ming.
“How did you end up alone today? It’s so late for dinner.” Gu Ming flipped through the menu listlessly.
“Hah! I’ve been trying to ask you out for days, but you’re a busy woman; I could never get a hold of you.” Mu Yao picked at a plate of edamame.
“Is that young boy from that night okay?” Gu Ming asked after a moment of thought.
“Him? He’s fine, just a few scratches.”
“A new boyfriend?”
“Tch, not quite. At most, a friend with benefits.” Seeing Gu Ming talking about others with such detachment made Mu Yao even more worried. She couldn’t help but tap the table. “How are you doing?”
“Me? I’m fine.” Gu Ming’s voice was as quiet as a mosquito as she looked away awkwardly.
“Fine? Your eyes are sunken. How is that fine? Gu Ming, I’m just worried about you. If you need anything, just say so. Don’t carry everything on your own…”
Gu Ming’s eyes welled up. Tears swirled and finally fell, tracing silent paths down her face, itchy and sorrowful. She cried for a long time. Even the waiter glanced at her several times when bringing the food. Finally, exhausted from crying, she stopped. Mu Yao stood up, grabbed a tissue to wipe her face, held her head, and patted her back.
One wonders how many tears the human tear duct can produce; it felt like there was no end. She had cried so much lately that her eyes were painful and swollen, but after the long suppression, she felt a strange sense of relief after letting it out.
“My eyes hurt,” Gu Ming choked out.
“Of course they do. You cried so hard they’re swollen like peaches.” Mu Yao asked the waiter for a hot towel and pressed it against Gu Ming’s eyes.
“I broke up with Shi Lei.”
Mu Yao paused, not knowing if it was expected or unexpected. “Then what about the wedding?”
“We broke up, so there is no wedding.” Gu Ming wiped her reddened nose and shook her head.
“Then there’s no wedding. We’ll definitely find someone better in the future,” Mu Yao comforted her.
The future? Who knows what the future holds? No matter how much she and Shi Lei had argued or bickered in the past, she had never imagined they would part. But him finding another woman—that was her bottom line. Of course, she had no way of knowing that in the future, she would become inextricably linked with a woman four years younger than her.
“Am I beautiful?” Gu Ming asked suddenly.
“Ha? Of course you are! This ‘damsel in distress’ look you have right now is especially captivating. You’re a bit behind me, sure, but you’re way better than that idiot ‘other woman.’ You saw her that night.”
Gu Ming was teased into a smile. “But she’s young. She looked about twenty.”
“As if we weren’t once young ourselves? You were twenty once, too, and you were with Shi Lei back then.”
“Do all men love twenty-year-old women?” Gu Ming switched the towel to her other eye.
“Not necessarily. Look at Wu Tong; he’s obsessed with me. Obsessed to the point where it’s almost annoying.”
“Who’s Wu Tong?”
“The boy who stood up for you that night.”
Gu Ming fell into a pensive silence. “Maybe… that girl can be there for him. I really did spend too much time on work. I neglected him.”
“Forget that! You loved him too much. Is that an excuse for him to cheat? Other people’s girlfriends work themselves to death and their boyfriends feel nothing but heartache for them. Did he ever pick you up? Aside from nagging you about not spending time with him, I never saw him treat you that well. It’s good you broke up. You deserve better.”
Hearing Mu Yao’s comfort, Gu Ming felt a bit more at ease. Mu Yao brought over some alcohol. “Come, cheers. Let’s celebrate your new life.”
Gu Ming picked up her water glass, clinked it against Mu Yao’s, and said sincerely, “Thank you, Mu Yao. I’ve been drinking too much lately and my stomach hurts. Can I use water instead?”
Mu Yao was surprised by the move but, feeling sorry for her, she downed her drink in one go. “As long as you’re happy.”
The two ate for a long time that night, and Gu Ming managed to eat a decent amount for once. She had known Mu Yao for several years because of Shi Lei; back then, Mu Yao was dating Qi Xiaojun. Shi Lei had many friends and they all hung out together. While the men played cards, the women would chat. Gu Ming wasn’t particularly approachable, and the other women often called her cold and aloof, but Mu Yao was the only one who had grown close to her.