“It feels good. Thank you for Master’s grace.”
Nineteen’s unsteady voice entered his ears, and the rising tail of the tone made Shang Yinyu’s heart move too.
He knew this tone too well.
For a moment, Shang Yinyu even wanted to be a foolish ruler right here in the imperial study. He knew Nineteen would obey him, and even if unwilling in his heart, would endure it.
But he couldn’t.
“Nineteen, I and you, ruler and minister for a lifetime. Is that all right?” Shang Yinyu asked in a low voice.
A wise ruler and a loyal minister could also be recorded in the histories and remembered for thousands of years.
“This subordinate will follow Master for a lifetime.”
Shang Yinyu felt Nineteen draw in breath in fits, as if he had been given too much satisfaction all at once, too delighted, so that he could hardly breathe.
Did a mere promise set your mind at ease?
Shang Yinyu stroked Nineteen’s back to help him catch his breath.
A wise ruler does not humiliate his ministers, and a loyal minister does not break into the bedchamber at night; this is what they need from each other.
While gently stroking Nineteen’s back to let him relax, Shang Yinyu checked his injuries.
There were quite a few cat-scratch marks on Nineteen’s outer garment, but underneath there was not a scratch. That big cat only looked fierce; its scratches didn’t even hurt.
Worried that Nineteen was tense and would reject his closeness, Shang Yinyu left Nineteen in the shadow guard uniform.
Nineteen, leaning on him, seemed a little uneasy and lightly pinched the corner of his clothes.
Shang Yinyu wanted to say something soothing to divert Nineteen’s attention, so he said: “Nineteen is a shadow guard, a phantom who guards behind me all the time.”
“A person’s skin and hair all need touch. A shadow guard cannot have too much contact with others; no one can embrace you, no one can be close to you.”
“But now you have me.”
I will be with you and give you the closeness you need, let you be satisfied, and not hurt you. Until you become my great general, open up new territory for me, and guard the country and keep it secure for me.
By then Nineteen would probably have a wife and children of his own and would not need me to give him closeness.
Remembering the woman Nineteen looked after, Shang Yinyu’s heart tightened, and his hand tightened involuntarily too.
I made that woman a princess and granted them a marriage. Qiao Beiji, in order to oppose me, refused even the marriage edict along with everything else; he must have hated me to the bone.
Although I made you be with me, I also gave you power and position. It was an equal exchange, so why hold a grudge against me?
Suddenly hearing a low grunt of suppressed pain, Shang Yinyu came back to himself and found that in his annoyance he had pinched the person again.
Shang Yinyu hurriedly let go.
But Nineteen’s body had already tensed, an instinctive guarded reaction after being hurt.
How should he make up for it?
Tell Nineteen “I just got distracted, I didn’t mean it”?
That sounded insincere.
Shang Yinyu couldn’t think of a workable method. Nineteen, leaning on him, grew even tenser, and his face, which had been burning red, gradually went pale.
Nineteen’s lowered eyes showed submission and also made his emotions hard to read, but Shang Yinyu felt Nineteen’s fear and unease.
Did I frighten Nineteen?
“Nineteen, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I… I’d better rub it for you.”
Contact that was too close would not soothe him, so Shang Yinyu moved gently and laid the seemingly terrified Nineteen down on the desk.
Nineteen opened his mouth to decline, but before the voice came out, his body tipped backward under the emperor’s light support.
A martial artist’s muscle coordination is excellent. Without Nineteen deliberately controlling it, his body adjusted its balance in an instant, but the alarm in his heart was not something he could adjust himself.
Nineteen felt Master’s clothing slide across his palm and instinctively reached to catch it.
He did not manage to catch it before the corner of the clothing had already slipped away.
Nineteen reached out in a panic, and something brushed his palm. Nineteen instinctively gripped it tightly, like a drowning man unwilling to let go of the only thing he could cling to.
The desktop was not wide, only enough to hold part of Nineteen’s back, and the rest hung entirely in the air.
In his alarm, Nineteen felt that what was in his hand was warm, smooth and lustrous, with openwork carving.
It was the jade pendant Master often wore.
He had actually pulled Master’s jade pendant; it was truly reckless, and he should ask Master’s forgiveness.
Facing Nineteen’s eyes, flashing with panicked fragments of light, Shang Yinyu said a sentence in a low voice by his ear.
Nineteen’s eyes went wide, and his heart beat uncontrollably fast, so that he no longer had room to beg forgiveness.
He was Master’s shadow guard, Master’s household slave, and whatever Master wanted him to do was his good fortune. But his body was different, and when Master saw it, would he be terrified and disgusted as last time?
What, what should he do?
Shang Yinyu did not want to bully Nineteen, but he suddenly felt the review—enough already, the plot would not even be complete—
Was Nineteen still carrying a hidden weapon? Shang Yinyu wondered.
At this press of his, he felt Nineteen instantly go stiff as a stone.
Shang Yinyu, understanding what it was, went stiff as well.
I, I was wronged!
“Nineteen.”
Shang Yinyu met Nineteen’s eyes. In those ink-black eyes there was nothing but panic and unease.
Nineteen must have a shadow from what happened that day in the Begonia Bath.
After Nineteen got drunk and performed it for him, Shang Yinyu knew what he had done to Nineteen.
At that time he had not known gentleness at all. Whether physical pain or psychological, he had caused Nineteen both.
But shadows like this, if not faced and not resolved, will forever be shadows.
“Nineteen, I said I would not bully you.” You don’t need to be afraid.
Shang Yinyu calmly withdrew his hand and stood up and stepped back, fully showing that he had not the slightest intention of that kind.
A ruler’s word is not a jest. I do what I say.
“Th-this subordinate understands.” Nineteen’s face was deathly pale, and not daring to lie there any longer, he flipped up and knelt on the floor tiles beside the desk.
The movement was so sharp that Shang Yinyu had no time to reach out and stop him.
“This subordinate does not know why he would… This subordinate absolutely has no intention of offending Master.” Feeling he had committed a great disrespect, Nineteen looked terrified.
“Nineteen, this is not called an offense.” Shang Yinyu bent and helped Nineteen up. “If you have a reaction like this, it means you like it very much, doesn’t it?”
Not daring to let Master serve him, and also afraid Master would notice his unseemliness, Nineteen hurriedly took over.
Only after he had tied everything did Nineteen answer respectfully: “Yes, I like it very much. Whatever Your Majesty bestows, this subordinate likes.”
“Ahem.” Shang Yinyu coughed softly. He wanted to ask whether he also liked the review, but thought better of it and swallowed the words that had come to his lips.
Shang Yinyu took half a step forward and embraced Nineteen. “If I make Nineteen this happy every day, will that do?”
“Master.” Nineteen lowered his head and carefully rested his chin on Master’s shoulder, saying gratefully: “Thank you for Master’s grace.”
Shang Yinyu felt awkward holding him, and could not tell where the awkwardness came from. Only when Nineteen’s chin lightly rubbed against his shoulder did he realize what was off.
Huh?! Nineteen is taller than me!
In these two days Nineteen had either been kneeling or lying in front of him, or else far away from him, so Shang Yinyu had only just now discovered that Nineteen was taller than him.
No, he had become shorter.
This body is only eighteen. Nineteen is six years older than me and can’t be much taller; I can still grow.
Shang Yinyu suppressed the awkwardness and held him for a while, then found that the posture in which Nineteen pressed against him was a bit strange.
Aiya, there was still a major problem unsolved.