It was summer now, not cold like winter, when they had to be on the couch under the quilt to touch and stay warm. As soon as he entered the inner room, Shang Yinyu held a hand out to Qiao Beiji.
“Come.”
Qiao Beiji stepped forward and lightly pressed against the emperor.
Pressed together, they embraced each other as naturally as could be.
Shang Yinyu knew this soothing routine only too well, yet this time he felt as if he were saying goodbye to the past.
The last embrace.
Qiao Beiji also cherished this “last time.” He was going to the frontier, and this was the last chance to be close to His Majesty before he came back.
He so hoped it could last a little longer. He wanted to remember Master’s breathing, Master’s heartbeat, and the warmth of Master’s fingertips.
Thinking of being ten thousand li apart, not knowing how long before they would meet again, Shang Yinyu could not bear to stop.
Shang Yinyu felt Nineteen’s upper body pressed against him while the rest was gradually moving away. He knew this situation; he knew Nineteen had a reaction, and he was no exception.
Shang Yinyu knew it was time to stop.
They needed to separate and calm down for a while, go wash, and then he would say a few soothing words to Nineteen, and Nineteen would respectfully see him off.
But this was the last time. How could he bear to part just like that?
Shang Yinyu wanted to hold him longer. He wanted Nineteen. He wanted Nineteen dyed inside and out with his scent.
Such thoughts often appeared. After all he was a wise ruler only on the surface, and inside he had long been black through and through. He always wanted to humiliate Nineteen, to make Nineteen unable to leave him, begging for his mercy.
Reason kept Shang Yinyu from doing something irreversible. He endured and only quietly drew a little closer.
Even this mere closeness startled Nineteen, pressed against him, into stiffness.
Shang Yinyu looked at Nineteen’s face. Nineteen’s brows were knit; just before, he had been pressing hard against him, and now his eyes had gone wide and he looked at him in panic and helplessness.
Although he was already this afraid, he did not back away and still shrank in my arms. Isn’t he just waiting to be taken by me?
Shang Yinyu managed to snuff out the overheated thoughts in his head and raised a hand to stroke Nineteen’s tightly knit brows.
I’m sorry, Nineteen. I’m bullying you again.
Shang Yinyu felt guilty in his heart, but thinking it was the last time, he did not want to let Nineteen go easily.
If he let go this time, he truly would not be able to touch him again.
Shang Yinyu looked into Nineteen’s eyes and asked: “Is Nineteen uncomfortable?”
Qiao Beiji shrank a little, calmed his heartbeat and breathing, and said: “Your Maj—Young Master holding this subordinate is good to this subordinate. This subordinate is not uncomfortable.”
Nineteen never tells me when he’s in pain or tired, but how could I not see your endurance.
“If it feels good, then why do you keep away from me?”
Shang Yinyu was already pressed against Nineteen, and as he spoke he drew closer still, their noses touching.
“Nineteen, you must not deceive me.”
For a shadow guard to deceive his master was a major crime.
Qiao Beiji’s face went pale. With Master holding him, he could not kneel to beg forgiveness, and could only describe all his feelings under Master’s gaze.
“It feels good, only this subordinate’s…” Qiao Beiji remembered that Master did not like him saying it was a difference, and quickly changed his words, describing in a low voice: “…”
Shang Yinyu listened without a word, but pressed Nineteen into his arms again, giving him no chance to escape.
“This subordinate does not dare dirty Master’s body.”
Qiao Beiji panicked, and forgetting Master had told him not to say “Master” anymore, the most familiar form of address came straight out of his mouth.
Even though Master had said several times that it was not a difference, Qiao Beiji still felt ashamed.
A body with both yin and yang; even when Master touched him he deliberately avoided it, so how would he dare let those unseemly parts of his press against Master.
Shang Yinyu himself had called out “Nineteen” several times and now had no time to correct the other’s form of address. He was also somewhat surprised that with just a little guidance from him, Nineteen had told him everything.
When Shang Yinyu then matched those unfamiliar words, according to Nineteen’s description, to specific places, he almost wanted to open Nineteen up and look at him properly.
Nineteen really knew how to tempt him.
Of course he knew Nineteen had a reaction, but when those words came out of Nineteen’s mouth, they made one especially want to bully him.
Shang Yinyu put away his thoughts and, while soothing Nineteen in the way he was used to, asked: “Nineteen, shall I… will that do?”
The emperor’s hand was already at a not-near, not-far distance, and Qiao Beiji could not fail to know what he was referring to.
Qiao Beiji looked at him in panic and helplessness and could not say a word.
Shang Yinyu continued to soothe him. “I’ll take care of it for you, and then you won’t be uncomfortable.” I’ll help you find relief.
“It will dirty Master’s hand.”
“It won’t be dirty. This is my Nineteen. It won’t be dirty.”
Shang Yinyu waited quietly, and heard Nineteen tremble, lower his eyes, and give a soft “Mm.”
Shang Yinyu stroked Nineteen lightly to distract him.
That was a part of Nineteen. Since his rebirth Shang Yinyu had never touched it, but feeling it again, he still had a sense of familiarity and closeness.
He knew it as he knew Nineteen.
Nineteen’s originally stiff body; Shang Yinyu could feel that once he started moving, apart from where his hand touched, all the rest of Nineteen had lost its strength.
“Master.” Qiao Beiji called in a trembling voice.
“Mm?”
“Let this subordinate serve you.”
Being so close, Qiao Beiji knew that Master had a similar reaction, and since the feeling of being touched by Master was so wonderful, could he also make Master comfortable?
Qiao Beiji, imitating Shang Yinyu, lightly pressed close, asking for Master’s permission.
Shang Yinyu sucked in a breath inwardly, tried to keep a straight face, and answered in a low voice: “Mm.”
You asked for this yourself; I did not force you.
It was Nineteen, and Shang Yinyu pressed close before Nineteen made any move, uncontrollably. He bit Nineteen’s ear tip and said:
“Follow me. Whatever I do, you do.”
“Yes.”
…
Youthful passion, once lit, cannot be put out.
Shang Yinyu had long forgotten the carriage that was to come and swap him out. He wanted only to hold Nineteen and burn off the fire that had piled up for more than half a year since his rebirth.
Inside the room were the master and the commander; the shadow guards posted around the house did not dare disturb them.
At intervals a shadow guard in disguise would drive a carriage from one end of the alley, and before it could stop, the shadow guards in the courtyard would give the signal that the master was still busy, and the carriage would pass slowly by without stopping.
These signals, depending on time and place, were given as bird calls or insect chirps, or even the sound of wind through leaves.
Shang Yinyu could not understand them, but Qiao Beiji, as shadow guard commander, understood them perfectly.
Every time a signal sounded, Qiao Beiji blushed red and wished he could burrow under Master’s body, be completely covered by Master, so that no one knew of his existence.
“Why so clingy?” Shang Yinyu chuckled, wiped what had gotten on Nineteen with a handkerchief, and asked Nineteen, who was quietly shrinking into his arms: “Again?”
“Yes…” The tips of Nineteen’s ears, exposed, were red enough to drip blood.
Shang Yinyu thought: from today, Beiji and I are friends who have pleasured each other by hand. This is a left-hand, right-hand relationship, absolute good brothers.
In the future, even if Qiao Beiji had a rift with him for some other reason, he would surely remember today’s bond.
Also, Nineteen trembling as he did it for him was really adorable.
·
After the successful martial candidates received the edict to go to the frontier for experience, they bade farewell to family and friends. Under the arrangement of the Ministry of Military Affairs, they were to go to the various cities on Great Xia’s frontier.
The Emperor of Great Xia went out of the right gate of the imperial city to see them off personally.
Shang Yinyu stood before the imperial carriage and watched the martial artists in armor salute him and mount their horses.
Beiji’s mount was the Black Cloud Treading Snow he had given. The horse was so strapping, a full size bigger than the war horses around it, that no other horses dared come near, leaving a sizable empty area around Qiao Beiji.
The big black horse saw him and stretched its neck toward him, as if wanting to come ask him for a pastry, but Qiao Beiji tugged the reins and held it back.
Shang Yinyu’s gaze met Qiao Beiji’s in the air. Shang Yinyu opened his mouth and silently said the word “Take care.”
He had lived through the fall of Jin and knew how long Qiao Beiji’s trip would take. If he did not go to Yumen Pass, this parting would be four years.
The martial artists followed the column arranged by the Ministry of Military Affairs and left. Qiao Beiji forcibly suppressed the urge to look back at His Majesty.
Only when they had gone far, and the Ministry officials livened up the atmosphere and some martial artists talked about and imagined the future, did Qiao Beiji look back toward the imperial city.
His Majesty’s imperial carriage could no longer be seen; only the blurry city gate could be made out.
For the first time, right after setting out on a mission, he was impatient to return to Master’s side, to be held by Master and hear Master call “Nineteen.”
Black Cloud Treading Snow was still angry about not getting a pastry and snorted with “puff-puff.” Qiao Beiji took a handful of sugar beans from the small pouch at his waist and fed it. Black Cloud Treading Snow ate the sugar beans and still tossed its head in dissatisfaction.
These sugar beans had been bought at a stall in the West Market. Black Cloud Treading Snow’s palate had been spoiled by the palace pastries, and it still turned up its nose at the food outside.
Qiao Beiji stroked Black Cloud Treading Snow’s glossy black mane with his hand and thought: When the mission is over, you’ll get to eat palace pastries, and I’ll be able to serve Master up close.