Shen Weizhen scolded, "Nonsense again."
A Chun was confused, "Isn't it? Did I recite it wrong again?"
"The words aren't wrong, but they can't describe you and me."
"Why?"
Shen Weizhen looked at her.
If A Chun were like his father, in this kind of light, she probably wouldn't be able to see his face at all; in the darkness, she was a pitiful little blind girl, yet not completely unable to see, only able to instinctively follow the sound. The more this was the case, the more she wanted to try to see clearly, thus opening her eyes wide, but unable to focus, dark and pitiful.
Not only could she not see clearly at night, she also couldn't understand these poems.
"The Book of Songs has three styles: Feng, Ya, and Song. Feng are folk songs, singing of love between men and women, labor customs," Shen Weizhen said. "The poem 'Guan Ju' you mentioned is a love song sung by a man pursuing a woman. You and I are siblings, how can we use it as a metaphor?"
A Chun hadn't considered this at all. She didn't even understand the poem, and hearing her brother say this, she was frightened and hurriedly said, "I didn't know."
Shen Weizhen said, "I know you didn't know."
He then asked, "Didn't your teacher explain these things to you?"
It shouldn't be.
Wang Chenming had guaranteed that Xiang Yun was a dedicated teacher and strongly recommended him.
"The teacher said, read a book a hundred times, and its meaning will reveal itself," A Chun, afraid her brother would think her stupid, said with little confidence. "I've never read these books before. The teacher said time is tight, so he let me read them first. When I go to the girls' school, at least I'll know something when others mention them."
Autumn She had already passed. Going to the girls' school like this, she would probably struggle to keep up.
It wasn't that she wasn't trying hard, but she had fallen too far behind before. You can't become fat with one bite.
Shen Weizhen pitied her.
So pitiful, how could she be so pitiful.
"If it's just reading through, there's no need to rush to understand the meaning first," he taught. "But if you want to memorize, you still need to understand the meaning of the text to get twice the result with half the effort. Rote memorization is why you memorize so slowly."
A Chun asked, "Does brother have any memorization techniques?"
"I wouldn't call it a technique," Shen Weizhen said. "Whether it's prose or poetry, understanding comes first. Grasping the author's emotions and thoughts makes it much easier."
As he spoke, a cold wind swirled in, and A Chun sneezed heavily—she turned her back, not facing Shen Weizhen, covering her mouth with a handkerchief.
This was probably her most ladylike moment tonight.
He thought.
Shen Weizhen said, "It's cold here. Come with me, let's talk somewhere else."
It was already autumn. He was a man, often practicing martial arts and swordsmanship in the morning, with a strong body. A Chun had been confined to the courtyard reading these days, probably without even a moment to move around, and catching a cold wind would make her more susceptible to illness.
A Chun said okay and crouched down to pick up the Mingwa Lantern.
Shen Weizhen discovered her eyes were worse than he had imagined. She couldn't accurately grasp the lantern at all, her hand groped in the empty space twice before she finally held it, awkwardly standing up.
A Chun realized it too.
When she was little, she wasn't sad about this, thinking everyone was like this. It wasn't until she discovered that others could see at night that she felt like a bolt from the blue, crying bitterly.
Later, Shen Shiru comforted her, saying he had the same problem, that many people were like this, she wasn't a lonely oddity, and that not being able to see clearly at night wasn't a big deal—it didn't hinder him from doing things—
Though she understood the reasoning, A Chun still did not wish to appear half-blind before Shen Weizhen. Holding the Mingwa Lantern, she said, "Brother, please."
She wanted Shen Weizhen to go first.
Because A Chun could not see the cave entrance, she had only found this secret hideaway by following the wind. The rockery was hidden, its stones jagged, and the ground beneath her feet was uneven. Shen Weizhen had just praised her as a lady, and she did not want him to discover her groping her way out like a clumsy bear—a sight too embarrassing to bear.
Shen Weizhen extended his hand. "You may hold onto my arm."
A Chun said yes and tentatively waved her hand in the air, only to find the sensation unfamiliar.
She hesitated. "This is…"
Shen Weizhen replied calmly, "This is your brother's chest."
A Chun quickly apologized, fumbled around, and finally found his arm, taking hold of it.
There were far too many rules in Jingcheng, A Chun thought. If they were in Nanwuzhou, he could simply take her hand and lead her out.
Not like this.
Truthfully, she did not like rules.
But her brother had to abide by them.
Shen Weizhen guided her all the way, reminding her to lift her feet, lower her head, and not move recklessly. With great effort, he finally led A Chun safely out of the rockery. The unburned papers she had left behind were now clutched in Shen Weizhen’s hand as they made their way to Tingxuexuan in the estate.
Selecting the texts A Chun needed to memorize, Shen Weizhen explained their meanings while carefully ensuring she did not stumble.
A Chun listened intently.
Her brother’s teaching was indeed far better than her father’s. Her father had a gentle temper, but when she repeatedly failed to write correctly, he would grow distressed and angry, sometimes even banging his head against the wall in frustration, as if in great pain.
Her brother’s patience was much greater. If she did not understand something, she could ask, and he would patiently explain, even sharing interesting historical anecdotes to help her remember.
Tingxuexuan was built on the other side of the lotus pond, opposite the rockery, surrounded by wintersweet trees, designed for viewing snow in winter. Aside from the winter season, few people visited, and no servants or maids were stationed there.
Shen Weizhen knew that, even as siblings, they should not meet alone so late at night. But if he left her to her own devices, by the time she entered the girls’ school, her hands would likely be beaten until she could no longer even hold chopsticks.
The Old Ancestor would surely be heartbroken.
Upon reaching Tingxuexuan, A Chun, still holding the lantern, began searching for candles when Shen Weizhen stopped her. "Don’t light them."
A Chun was puzzled. "Why?"
She could not see clearly and felt uneasy in the dark.
The Mingwa Lantern was not bright enough.
"If you light the candles, the glow will surely attract the night watch servants," Shen Weizhen explained. "For us to be here like this is improper."
A Chun murmured an acknowledgment.
She did not fully understand this notion of "propriety," but she knew it was something Shen Weizhen valued deeply.
Though rarely visited, Tingxuexuan was kept clean by the maids responsible for cleaning, so no further tidying was needed. Seeing that A Chun showed no signs of sleepiness, Shen Weizhen patiently explained the remaining passages.
He also taught her a few "techniques": covering her ears and reading aloud to improve memory; for longer texts or poems, reading them aloud slowly and deliberately, repeating the process three to five times, then circling important words with a brush, analyzing their meanings. Once she understood the content, she could close her eyes and attempt to recite, marking the sentences she struggled with or had only a vague memory of, focusing on them until she could recite the entire passage.
Shen Weizhen added, "Your mind is sharpest just before sleep and upon waking. You can read aloud for the time it takes an incense stick to burn—it will help you remember more firmly."
A Chun was deeply troubled. "I was fine when I first woke up, but reciting for the length of an incense stick before bed is really difficult. When I try to memorize things before sleeping, the more I recite, the more anxious I become. I'm afraid I won't be able to sleep all night."
Shen Weizhen said, "It seems you've overdone your memorizing tonight and worried yourself sick."
"That's not it…" A Chun remained troubled. After a long while, she spoke again, "I'm afraid of getting married."
Shen Weizhen was surprised. "What marriage?"
A Chun didn't mention Shen Xiangmei's name. "I've heard that Old Ancestor is selecting a husband for me."
Shen Weizhen replied calmly, "It's not just you. Xiangmei, Linying—you've all reached the age where marriage is a significant matter. It's only natural to start considering prospects early."
Old Ancestor had already begun paying attention even before they came of age.
As a man, Shen Weizhen knew he couldn't truly understand a woman's situation. Although his sisters would eventually marry for alliances, he wouldn't send them into a den of wolves just for the sake of power.
He would personally evaluate the family background, character, appearance, and talents of any potential brother-in-law. As for the intricate relationships within the inner chambers, Old Ancestor and Madam Li would handle those matters.
Shen Weizhen had assumed A Chun would know about these things, but it seemed she understood nothing. A matter that hadn't even taken shape was already keeping her awake at night.
If she were to marry in the future, wouldn't she spend several nights unable to close her eyes?
He didn't know how to comfort his sister.
His other sisters didn't need his concern—they had their own blood-related brothers and mothers to look after them.
Only Jinghui, in this household, had no one to rely on but him.
Thinking of this, Shen Weizhen couldn't help but feel compassion once more.
"I will help you evaluate prospects," he promised. "I'll choose a good husband for you."
A Chun asked, "According to etiquette, shouldn't you avoid discussing such matters with me?"
Shen Weizhen replied, "According to etiquette, you shouldn't be discussing these things with me either."
"But you still let me speak," A Chun said softly. "I'm sorry."
"Etiquette is meant to regulate one's own conduct, not to torment others," Shen Weizhen said. "There's no need to rigidly adhere to conventions—everything has room for flexibility. You've just arrived at the household—how can we expect you to follow every rule? Even sages can't strictly observe etiquette at all times. However, this leniency only applies when you're with me. In front of others, you must still be careful."
A Chun felt her eyes grow warm.
Although Shen Weizhen had permitted her to call him brother and acknowledged her as his sister, it wasn't until tonight that she genuinely felt Shen Weizhen was truly her brother.
Only tonight did she feel she had truly connected with her brother.
"Thank you, brother," A Chun said. "Since you think it's acceptable, I'll speak frankly. When you choose a husband for me, please select someone from a good family. I don't want to marry a talented scholar from a poor background. As long as the family is wealthy and the person is generous, things like appearance and talent can take a back seat."
Shen Weizhen gradually frowned. "Why?"
"I lack proper manners and talent, and my background is what it is. Those with good character and noble family backgrounds would certainly not choose me," A Chun spoke her mind. "Nothing in this world is perfect. Even if there were someone flawless in every way who was willing to marry me, I might never meet them. I only ask you, brother, to choose someone with substantial family wealth for me…"
After a moment's thought, A Chun worried this request might also be too greedy and added, "If that's not possible, I'm willing to become a concubine."
"Nonsense!!"
Shen Weizhen's face darkened as he suddenly stood up, scolding her sharply, "Perhaps the strong wind just now blew your mind away, making you speak such foolish words here!"
A Chun was frightened.
This was the first time she had seen Shen Weizhen angry—he looked as if he might kill her.
A Chun dared not speak, lowering her head.
Shen Weizhen was so furious he felt dizzy.
Earlier, when she couldn’t understand or read, he hadn’t thought much of it, nor had he felt she knew nothing. He only thought that since she had just started studying, as long as she was willing to learn, she could take her time. But her words just now truly enraged him—
“It seems I shouldn’t have come today, nor should I have spoken to you about this,” Shen Weizhen said. “You may leave.”
He was unwilling to discuss it further.
Shen Weizhen couldn’t discuss it—what was there to say? After all, he was her brother, not her sister. If they continued, he feared he might say something too harsh and hurt her, or speak too lightly and she wouldn’t understand the seriousness of the matter.
Enough.
Tomorrow, he would have Shen Zongshu go to her.
“Brother, my mother is ill, and the monthly expenses for medicine and herbs flow like water,” A Chun said sadly, afraid her brother would no longer be close to her. She quickly added, “I thought, if I could find a wealthy family—”
“Are you afraid your brother can’t support you?”
“No…”
Shen Weizhen had already stood up to leave, but upon hearing this, he turned back and looked at her, his emotions complicated.
She had said something very wrong, and it needed to be corrected.
But now, sitting in this pavilion in thin clothes, frightened and sorrowful, she had been terrified by just one scolding from him, as if she had committed a grave mistake—how could it be so?
In the past, when he scolded his younger siblings, his words were harsher than this, yet none of them had been as frightened as she was.
In the end, it was because she had no one to rely on and was so cautious and fearful in this household.
It was still the brother’s fault.
“Why do you have such thoughts?” Shen Weizhen said. “Since I have already sworn before Father’s spirit, I will not abandon you. Old Ancestor and Mother were both witnesses. Why must you think of leaving?”
A Chun felt distressed: “I will have to marry someday.”
“When you marry in the future, this will still be your maternal home. I will arrange for someone to take care of your mother,” Shen Weizhen’s expression softened slightly after learning the reason. Since she hadn’t misunderstood, his earlier words had indeed been too harsh, so he spoke gently, “Father once wrote a letter hoping to add you to the family register, but it was difficult to arrange. A few days ago, Old Ancestor brought this up again and discussed it with me, saying she wanted Father to adopt you as his foster daughter. That way, on the family register, you could be recorded under Father’s name. In the future, when you go out as a guest, you would be the proper Shenfu young lady, Shen Jinghui.”
A Chun listened in confusion.
She was still upset by her brother’s harsh words earlier and didn’t care about the family register. What use was it to be added? What difference was there between a cousin and a daughter? It wouldn’t make her mother recover quickly, nor would it bring immediate help to their current life.
She only wanted money—enough to cure her mother.
Besides, the name Shen Jinghui wasn’t hers. She was A Chun. Shen Jinghui was Shen Weizhen’s deceased younger sister.
“My sister cannot become someone’s concubine,” Shen Weizhen said. “You’ve said too many shocking things today. Do not mention them to anyone again.”
“How are my words shocking?” A Chun said resentfully. “It’s clearly because Jingcheng’s sky is too small and the world too narrow that they find it improper—why must people have so many rules?”
Shen Weizhen said, "Now that you're in Jingcheng, in Shenfu, if you want to live comfortably, you must abide by the rules here. Nanwuzhou had no rules to bind you, free and unrestrained. If I let you go back now, would you return?"
A Chun thought of her days in Nanwuzhou, toiling daily yet still unable to scrape together enough for medicine, and instantly wilted. "Better not."
Even while wilting, she didn't forget to say, "Brother, don't worry, I won't tell anyone else these things—I only tell you."
Shen Weizhen sighed inwardly.
Now she was speaking so sweetly again; just moments ago, she had nearly angered him to the point of fainting.
But letting her off lightly just because she said a few nice words wouldn't do either. He couldn't spoil her, couldn't let her develop a personality like Shen Xiangmei's.
"You just said yourself that nothing in this world is perfect," Shen Weizhen said. "That's exactly it. Life in Shenfu is wealthy but bound by rules; Nanwuzhou is free but impoverished—you've already made your choice."
A Chun said, "Then can't marriage be a choice too? Family background and appearance are innate—are there really distinctions of nobility and baseness? Why is it that when a gentleman pursues a 'fair maiden,' it's written into poetry and praised, but when a maiden pursues a 'wealthy gentleman,' it's considered nonsense?"
Shen Weizhen said, "That is propriety."
A Chun said, "Then I don't like propriety."
Shen Weizhen took a deep breath. "…It seems you really intend to anger me to death today."
A Chun hurriedly said, "Pah, pah, pah, don't say such unlucky things. Brother is healthy and strong, sure to live a long life with endless blessings."
Shen Weizhen said, "Seeing you like this, my head aches even more now."
After thinking for a moment, A Chun took a handkerchief from her sleeve, unwrapped it to reveal another layer, and handed it to Shen Weizhen, ingratiatingly saying, "Brother, have something delicious. I saved it specially. Eat something tasty, and your headache will go away."
Shen Weizhen looked and saw it was She-cake.
He had no habit of eating at night, as he had once practiced Daoist techniques and valued cultivating his body and mind. Eating too much before bed was not good for digestion.
But his sister was a pitiful half-blind girl. It was dark here, and she couldn't see clearly. The pieces of She-cake trembled on her handkerchief; if he didn't take them soon, they would likely fall.
Shen Weizhen accepted it, placed it in his mouth, and savored it slowly.
He hadn't eaten the She-cake from the mansion in a long time.
Autumn She was a major occasion. The headmaster valued him, and he had many tasks to attend to, along with social engagements. It was like this almost every year—he wouldn't return to the mansion until late at night.
Shenfu valued frugality and health preservation, so their She-cake was made with medicinal ingredients: fox nuts, ginseng, white atractylodes, poria, and amomum, mixed with glutinous rice flour and rice flour. Although white sugar was added to balance the flavor, it was never overly sweet.
The mouth is softened by what it eats.
Today, Shen Weizhen truly understood this.
He had eaten his sister's She-cake, so it was hard to scold her again—she was still just a young girl, after all, not understanding marriage or…
He didn't forget to ask, "You saved this She-cake specially? Do you like it?"
A Chun answered honestly, "Originally, I wanted to burn it for Father to taste. He often remembered the She-cake from Jingcheng."
Shen Weizhen nearly choked.
For a moment, he didn't know whether to eat or not.
"Father said that Brother has a little sanctuary in the rockery, a place no one else can find, only Brother," A Chun said. "I miss Father. When Brother goes to the rockery late at night, is he also thinking of Father?"
Shen Weizhen didn't eat the remaining She-cake. He carefully wrapped it in the handkerchief, planning to offer it later before his father's ancestral tablet.
It was a token of her heart.
"If you miss him, then live well, happily, and with dignity." Shen Weizhen did not wish to answer; he did not want to reveal those emotions before his younger sister—disappointment, sorrow, hesitation—these feelings were too fragile. He was the eldest brother, her older brother; how could he let her see them?
As an elder brother, one ought to shield younger siblings from wind and rain, not let one's own storms drench them.
He said, "The happiness of the living is the greatest comfort to those who have passed."
A Chun thought about it. To "live well, happily, and with dignity," to find happiness in Jingcheng—who knew how many more palm strikes she would have to endure, how many more poems to memorize, how many more books to read.
It was truly daunting to imagine.
Seeing her dazed expression, Shen Weizhen sighed and relented: "If you dislike our family's humble circumstances, then I will find you a suitable wealthy household. As for that talk of being a 'concubine,' do not mention it again from now on. If word gets out, people will laugh."
A Chun responded softly and was about to say something more when she heard someone outside raise their voice and ask, "Who's in there?"
Quick as lightning, she immediately reached out to blow out the Mingwa Lantern. But Shen Weizhen was not only quick-eyed but even quicker-handed, also reaching for the Mingwa Lantern. Inevitably, he grasped her hand—just for a moment—before immediately letting go.
A Chun did not think holding hands was a big deal, but Shen Weizhen shuddered, frowned deeply, paused for a moment, then picked up the Mingwa Lantern and whispered to A Chun, "Don't make a sound."
A Chun was very obedient and nodded emphatically.
Unable to see clearly, she nodded with her back turned to Shen Weizhen.
Shen Weizhen sighed.
Hearing the sigh, A Chun immediately moved closer, facing him, smiled sheepishly, and nodded again.
In that instant, Shen Weizhen raised the Mingwa Lantern—the closest the light had come to his face all evening.
Tingxuexuan was pitch black. A Chun's eyes could only see the glow of the Mingwa Lantern. As the lantern was lifted, it illuminated in turn—
The pine-green robe with bamboo leaf patterns, his Adam's apple, jawline, thin lips, high nose, eyes… Brother's eyes were large, dark, and deep, with thick, long eyelashes and prominent brow bones…
A Chun shivered.
Like a candlewick sparking.
She thought.
So Brother is this handsome… Before, Shen Weizhen had been strict and distant, so she often did not dare to look closely at his face. Even his cold demeanor often made her lower her head, unable to observe him carefully.
Heavens! Brother is actually this handsome!!