Inside the small room, the child’s sobbing did not last long.
Gao Zhi held Wen Yan in her arms, gently patting his thin, frail shoulders in comfort. Throughout it all, she didn’t ask him a single question about the past.
She knew that although the child was young, his heart was filled with pain. As time passed, the wounds had scabbed over, forming a layer of frost that had frozen into shackles impossible to melt away.
If she forced him to open his heart, it would be no different from making him tear open those healed wounds.
Gao Zhi didn’t want Wen Yan to suffer.
“No matter what happened in the past, Mother is here now. You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”
“Mother…”
Wen Yan’s shoulders trembled. As though he had remembered the most heartbreaking memories, tears streamed down his face.
“But you’ll leave Yan’er too…”
“I won’t.”
Gao Zhi held him tighter. Guessing that the child had not forgotten how his birth mother had left him, she couldn’t help feeling a pang of sadness.
“I won’t go anywhere. I won’t leave you. Don’t worry, Yan’er.”
“Mother said before that she wouldn’t leave either, but she still went away.”
Wen Yan burst into tears.
“Yan’er is so scared. I don’t want to be the older brother. Being the older brother is so hard. When A-Di and A-Mei don’t have enough to eat, I give them all my food.
“But I’m really hungry too. I’m so hungry that I can’t sleep. My stomach hurts so much from hunger.”
Gao Zhi froze.
“You always gave your food to your younger brother and sister?”
“Mm…”
Wen Yan sobbed.
“Father took us with him while we were fleeing. Along the way… we often hid in remote places and couldn’t find anything to eat. Father didn’t have much money… He spent whatever he had on food for us.
“Father’s leg was hurt so badly, but he didn’t have any money to treat it… When A-Di and A-Mei didn’t have enough to eat, I could only… only give them all my food.”
Gao Zhi had imagined that Feng Che’s year on the run must have been difficult, but she had never expected things to have been so terrible that he couldn’t even afford medical treatment.
Three children crying from hunger, unable to eat their fill, while constantly evading pursuit and fighting their way back to the capital.
Under such circumstances, it was no wonder his leg had deteriorated to such a state.
No wonder Feng Che had looked so thin and desolate when she saw him beneath the city gates.
In her previous life, it had been precisely when he was in such a miserable state that she had resolutely severed their engagement.
It was easy to imagine how devastated he must have been then.
Listening to the child sobbing uncontrollably, Gao Zhi’s own nose began to sting. She softened her voice as she gently guided him.
“But now there is no shortage of food at the residence. Why don’t you eat, A-Yan?”
“I don’t know… I really don’t know.”
Wen Yan helplessly clutched Gao Zhi’s sleeve.
“I think I’ve become strange. Mother, I don’t feel hungry. When I see all this food, I remember when there wasn’t enough to eat before.
“Sometimes, when I force myself to eat, my stomach feels uncomfortable, like it’s going to burst. I’m scared… scared that I’m going to die.”
Gao Zhi rubbed the boy’s head.
“With Mother here, you won’t die. You aren’t strange either. You’re simply sick.
“I’ll help you get your health back. Yan’er, trust Mother. From now on, no one in the Prince’s residence will bully or mistreat you again.”
Wen Yan buried himself in Gao Zhi’s arms and nodded vigorously.
“Master…”
Cang Zhu’s voice finally brought Feng Che, who had been standing stiffly outside the door for a long time, back to his senses.
“This subordinate failed in his duty. I didn’t realize those matrons had been bullying the two young masters so badly.”
Cang Zhu clenched his fists. He remembered how, when he had just entered with Feng Che, those matrons had even complained about Gao Zhi, boasting that they were old servants of the Lian family and shouldn’t have to suffer such severe punishment.
Thinking about it now, even thirty strokes had been too lenient.
“Give them the beating anyway. Send them back to the Lian family and explain everything to Madam Xi.”
Feng Che had barely finished speaking when the door opened from inside.
His eyes met the boy in Gao Zhi’s arms, whose eyes were swollen like peaches from crying. It felt as though someone had struck him hard in the chest.
Thinking of his deceased friend’s final request, bitterness and regret churned inside him.
【How could I have been so foolish?】
【How did I fail to notice that Yan’er had suffered so much all alone?】
Gao Zhi looked at the sadness and guilt intertwined in the man’s eyes, unable to find the right words for a moment.
Feng Che raised a trembling hand and beckoned toward Wen Yan before letting it fall again.
“Father failed you, Yan’er.”
“No, you didn’t.”
Wen Yan hurried over and grabbed Feng Che’s hand. He hadn’t expected his father to have heard what he said.
“Father gave us all the food you had. You couldn’t even eat enough yourself, yet you dug up wild grass to fill your stomach. You didn’t have any money to treat your leg either. It was us who dragged you down…”
Feng Che placed a hand over the boy’s head and pulled him into his arms. His lips trembled.
“I’m sorry.”
Seeing the man’s eyes turn red, Gao Zhi couldn’t help feeling her own throat tighten.
After Wen Yan cried for quite some time, Gao Zhi finally coaxed him to sleep before leaving the room. Cang Zhu stepped forward to report.
“Princess Consort, Master has already sent them all back to the Lian family.”
Seeing that Feng Che was nowhere in the courtyard, Gao Zhi guessed that he was probably feeling terrible and didn’t want her to see him in such a vulnerable state.
“I’ll replace all the servants in Wen Xing Courtyard. Tell him… he doesn’t need to worry about that.”
Cang Zhu nodded with a complicated expression.
“Yes. And thanks to you, Princess Consort. Master truly suffered a great deal along the way.”
There was no one else in the courtyard.
Perhaps this was the best opportunity to find out the truth.
“Cang Zhu.”
Gao Zhi stepped forward.
“I know Feng Che didn’t betray the country. Can you tell me what happened during this past year?”
Cang Zhu frowned. Remembering the circumstances of the three children’s birth, he knew that his Master had forbidden them from telling Gao Zhi the truth. He could only tell her what he was permitted to say.
“A year ago, our army had the upper hand. We were on the verge of completely defeating the Liao, but for some unknown reason, the Liao discovered where the military camp was storing its provisions and set fire to them.
“Without the provisions, our soldiers were in an extremely difficult situation. During the Liao’s final assault on the city, Master fought with everything he had to protect the civilians and drove the Liao back. He was severely wounded and lost consciousness.
“When we found Master, his leg had already… become unable to support him. Then, rumors suddenly spread throughout Taiyuan City that Master had abandoned the city and fled.
“When we tried to return to the city, numerous assassins pursued and obstructed us. We couldn’t get back. Master was seriously injured and had three children with him, so we could only hide for an entire year.
“During that time, the Zhu family arrived with troops and drove back the Liao. We had no money on us. We were truly… destitute. Master saved every bit of food he could for the children, endured the elements, and slept rough.
“While fleeing from those pursuing us, his leg bones broke several times. A doctor once said that if he had received treatment earlier, his leg would never have deteriorated to this point.”
After hearing the more detailed account from Cang Zhu, Gao Zhi couldn’t help drawing a sharp breath.
Seeing that her eyes had turned red, Cang Zhu said softly,
“Princess Consort, please don’t be upset. Master has returned to the capital now. The Prince Huai’an residence has a solid foundation, and Master and the children will never have to suffer again.
“His Majesty also takes good care of Master. Just the gifts he received for the wedding alone were countless.”
Hearing this did nothing to ease Gao Zhi’s heavy heart.
If… if she had known sooner, perhaps she could have helped him.
He wouldn’t have had to become so destitute…
After nightfall, Gao Zhi had the small kitchen prepare some light dishes for Wen Yan. Compared with the lunch he had barely touched, Wen Yan ate a little more at dinner, but his appetite was still small for a child his age.
Worried that he might get hungry during the night, Gao Zhi had Bai He prepare some da nai cakes that were good for the spleen and stomach and send them to Wen Yan and Wen Ting.
She couldn’t help thinking about the wounded look in Feng Che’s eyes that afternoon.
She simply couldn’t let it go.
So she took the extra cakes and went to Feng Che’s study.
As before, the room was brightly lit by candles, illuminating the man sitting upright, his head resting against the back of the chair with a trace of weariness.
The moment Gao Zhi entered the room, she could clearly feel the loneliness surrounding him.
“Why did you come?”
Feng Che hadn’t heard anyone announce her arrival. Only when her footsteps drew closer did he open his previously closed eyes.
Seeing the woman’s slightly furrowed brows illuminated by the candlelight, he asked hoarsely,
“Did something happen?”
He was clearly hurting inside, yet he had come to ask whether something was wrong with her.
“I’m the one who wanted to ask you.”
Gao Zhi walked over.
“Feng Che, are you all right?”
Feng Che froze. Perhaps it had been too long since anyone had cared about him in such a manner and from such a close distance. For a moment, his throat tightened, and he didn’t know how to answer.
“I know you’re upset.”
Gao Zhi said tactfully,
“Yan’er is a sensible child. He hid many things from you because he didn’t want you to worry. He cares deeply about you as his father and wants to help shoulder your burdens.”
“I know. Yan’er is very sensible. It’s me…”
Feng Che forced a bitter smile.
“I neglected him too much.”
“How could this be your fault?”
Gao Zhi shook her head.
“Feng Che, you took them with you while fleeing. You did everything within your power to give them hope of surviving. How can you blame yourself?”
“I wasn’t careful enough.”
Feng Che still remembered sneaking into Taiyuan City and seeing the children clinging to their sister-in-law’s corpse, crying.
His sister-in-law’s blood-written letter entrusting the children to him and Elder Brother Wen’s final request remained vivid in his mind.
He had been one step too late and failed to save his sister-in-law’s life. From that moment on, he had sworn to take good care of the children.
【In the end… I was simply too useless.】
【Why didn’t I realize it sooner…】
“Feng Che.”
The man raised his head, only to feel a sudden pain in the middle of his forehead.
Gao Zhi had leaned over the desk and flicked him on the forehead in admonishment.
“No one in this world is born knowing how to be a parent.”
He froze slightly.
“Children may be young and ignorant, but you’re a father for the first time too. How could you possibly get everything right?”
Gao Zhi’s eyes were gentle and luminous, making Feng Che’s heart tremble.
“So don’t blame yourself. A good father is someone who grows up alongside his children.”
Feng Che’s expression became somewhat confused and helpless, resembling the young man in Gao Zhi’s memories. Someone who always seemed calm and unshaken on the surface could still be fragile deep down, and there were times when he, too, hoped someone would protect him.
No matter how much he usually pretended to be strong, no matter how exceptional he seemed, he was ultimately only a young man in his early twenties.
And he had experienced far more than any young man his age should have.
“I’m a mother for the first time too.”
Gao Zhi curved her lips into a smile and leaned down to embrace the man.
“Let’s protect the children together and grow up together.”
Wrapped in the woman’s soft embrace, Feng Che was surrounded by her delicate fragrance. It gave him a sense of security, yet at the same time, it set his blood racing and caused his entire body to stiffen.
【A-Zhi… what does this mean?】
【Growing up alongside the children together will take a very, very long time…】
【Does she want to… stay with me for a long time?】
【Is this… a dream?】