As the only son of the Lu family, Lu Chengfeng’s father held him to exceptionally rigorous standards. Back in that year when he fell ill and placed second on an exam, his father had locked him out of the house to reflect properly on himself.
It was winter, and the biting wind was piercingly cold. During an argument with his father, he had accidentally dropped a gift given to him by his maternal grandmother into the swimming pool. By that point, he had already frozen to the point of losing all sensation. It was Mu Ran who had noticed his plight, spending half an hour wading through water filled with ice shards to retrieve and return the item to him.
He still remembered Mu Ran’s reddened hands back then, as well as that pair of bright, beautiful eyes.
The trouble with Mu Ran’s wrist was also a lingering ailment left over from that exact time; whenever winter arrived, it would ache dully, sometimes even flushing red. Though Mu Ran never voiced his complaints aloud, he knew that Mu Ran loved looking nice most of all and surely couldn’t stand a swollen patch like that ringing his wrist. That was why he had bought Mu Ran a watch to cover up the reddened area.
“Ah! I didn’t know!” Jun Qing’s face flushed red. “I just thought it suited you very well; I didn’t know you had an injury on your wrist. I’m sorry.”
“What are you apologizing for? Even my mom didn’t know about it. I’ll just find time to buy a leather strap to replace this one before wearing it. Thanks for the gift, I really like it,” Mu Ran consoled her.
Aside from Lu Chengfeng, nobody else knew about the injury on his wrist. In truth, he understood that Lu Chengfeng treated him this well mostly out of a sense of guilt.
Yet guilt could not serve as love.
Even if he used this matter to trap Lu Chengfeng right now, the moment Lu Chengfeng met the female lead, he would still choose her without the slightest hesitation.
There was no need for both of them to suffer.
At that moment, Fang Shiruan also carried the hot pot base out from the kitchen.
With a beaming smile, Fang Shiruan tossed ingredients into the pot and said to Mu Ran, “You haven’t hired a helper for this apartment yet, have you? How about Mom arranges one for you?”
“No need, Mom. I want to live on my own for a bit. If I can’t manage the chores, I’ll look for someone myself.”
Pinching a piece of meat into her mouth, Fang Shiruan mumbled indistinctly, “True enough. With Chengfeng around to look after you anyway, Mom feels completely at ease.”
“Mom, I want to live by myself.” Mu Ran hurriedly cut off Fang Shiruan’s words, paused for a moment, and then added, “Besides, Lu Chengfeng is going to get married in the future—he can’t keep taking care of me forever.”
“I’m not in a rush,” Lu Chengfeng chimed in right on cue from the side.
Mu Ran almost dropped his chopsticks.
Right, he might not be in a rush right now, but before long he certainly would be. Before long, tropes like “bloodshot eyes, a waist-grab, and handing over his entire life” would probably make an appearance, followed by turning around to smack him with a giant face-slap.
Oh, this terrifying sense of destiny.
Mu Ran couldn’t help feeling a chill run down his spine.
Once he finished speaking, Lu Chengfeng unceremoniously began serving food into Mu Ran’s bowl, acting as though he wished he could rinse the clear broth through yet another bowl of water. Mu Ran licked the corner of his lips, attempting to slide his seat a bit further away from Lu Chengfeng, only to be yanked back, chair and all, before he had even shifted two centimeters.
“If you try running off again, you know the consequences, mhm?” Lu Chengfeng deposited another portion of vegetables into his bowl, using a tone audible only to the two of them to issue a threat.
With no other choice, Mu Ran obediently began shoveling food into his mouth.
Finally enduring until the meal concluded, Mu Ran scurried back into his bedroom in a flash.
Before the door could even latch shut, a hand blocked the final sliver of an opening.
“Are you planning to lock me outside?” Having followed him up at some point, Lu Chengfeng stood before Mu Ran like an unyielding wall.
Mu Ran’s psychological defense lines were nearing a point of complete collapse. The amount of information his brain had been forced to process lately was simply overwhelming, and especially after learning about his own doomed ending, he felt increasingly constrained around Lu Chengfeng. Right now, all he wanted was to crash headfirst into bed and fall asleep.
“I bought this it’s a four-bedroom apartment,” Mu Ran stated rigidly.
Completely ignoring whatever Mu Ran had just said, Lu Chengfeng stepped sideways into the room and casually shut the door behind him. Imprisoning Mu Ran within the confines of his arms, he asked in a deep voice, “Mu Ran, are you avoiding me?”
Mu Ran was only half a head shorter than him, and squeezed together in the cramped entryway, the two of them could feel the ambient temperature rising straight upward. Mu Ran’s breath was venting entirely against his Adam’s apple, causing him to lean slightly downward.
“I… am not.” Mu Ran took a half-step back, wishing only to make a speedy escape from this place.
It was far too hot, especially with Lu Chengfeng pressing in so closely that he could even catch the scent exclusively belonging to him, which quickened his breathing involuntarily. If he didn’t distance himself right away, he was going to expose himself.
Because he had gotten hard.
“Not.” Lu Chengfeng repeated Mu Ran’s words, buried one hand in his hair, and drew in a deep breath.
Given his understanding of Lu Chengfeng, Mu Ran knew that Lu Chengfeng was angry.
Could it be that he liked Jun Qing?
The female lead in his dream had been far too blurry; he hadn’t even known her name.
If it were Jun Qing, it wasn’t entirely out of the question. Childhood sweethearts she being lively while he was aloof, one holding back from confessing because she felt the other was too cold, and the other guarding silently out of fear that his good brother might snatch away the person of his affections.
Logical and sound.
“Yeah, not at all.” Exhausting his remaining strength, Mu Ran wrenched himself free from Lu Chengfeng’s imprisonment: “You’re overthinking it. It’s just because Qingqing is still here.”
Qingqing.
Lu Chengfeng narrowed his eyes, the temperature enveloping his entire persona dropping to an even colder degree.
“The person you like is Jun Qing?” Lu Chengfeng asked point-blank.
“Huh?” Mu Ran hadn’t processed that. He hadn’t even done anything, so how on earth had he suddenly ended up liking Jun Qing? Because Lu Chengfeng had been blocking the way, he hadn’t even exchanged more than a few words with Jun Qing at the dinner table!
“She won’t do.” Lu Chengfeng stated flatly and directly, “Her personality is too naive; she isn’t suitable for you.”
So it turned out she wasn’t suitable.
Mu Ran felt as though a basin of cold water had been dumped over him, instantly shocking him into sobriety.
During that brief instant just now, he had even imagined that Lu Chengfeng didn’t want him to like Jun Qing, only to realize it was merely because they were an ill match.
“Got it. I’m going to take a shower first.” Mu Ran fled in a panic.
Inside the bathroom, cold water cascaded over Mu Ran’s skin. Sinking into the bathtub, Mu Ran tilted his head back to gaze up at the ceiling, feeling his eyelids grow heavier by the second.
He was so exhausted.
Always like this why was it always like this?
Subjecting him to overly intimate gestures time and again, yet uttering words that consistently felt like blades.
Was Lu Chengfeng simply too dense and straight to realize this wasn’t right, or was he himself simply overthinking everything?
Mu Ran didn’t wish to ponder it anymore; right now, all he wanted was to sleep.
Simultaneously, out on the balcony, Lu Chengfeng lit a cigarette, the crimson ember flickering indistinctly within the night.
His phone screen illuminated a message from his assistant:
“Understood, President Lu. I’ll go make inquiries right away.”
Brushing the lingering scent of smoke off his clothes, Lu Chengfeng turned and walked back into the bedroom. Mu Ran still hadn’t emerged.
Calculating the time carefully, Mu Ran had been inside for nearly half an hour; if he didn’t come out soon, he was genuinely going to barge in and drag him out.
“Cough, cough.” Mu Ran’s complexion was flushed with a reddish tint. Having accidentally soaked in the cold water for a fraction too long just now, he was beginning to feel somewhat unwell.
Lu Chengfeng pressed a hand against Mu Ran’s forehead it felt ice-cold, a dead giveaway that he had just taken a cold shower.
“What are you going to do if you catch a fever like this? Auntie will end up worrying again, and we have a company meeting coming up in a few days are you planning to attend while running a fever?”
No one knew where Mu Ran dredged up the courage from, but he angrily flipped back the quilt: “That’s enough out of you! Why are you always nagging like an old hen? Aren’t you just worried that I won’t be able to attend the meeting on time and mess up your money-making? I’ll definitely be there on time, alright?!”
“That’s not what I meant.” Spreading open his palm, Lu Chengfeng revealed the tube of ointment prescribed by the doctor resting right in the middle of it: “I’m here to apply your medicine.”
“I can do it myself.”
Snatching the ointment straight out of his palm, Mu Ran made a gesture to chase him out.
He had no idea what was wrong with him either; his emotions kept surging up unpredictably. At times he wanted to shake some sense into himself he had no grounds to lose his temper at Lu Chengfeng, nor any right to meddle in who Lu Chengfeng liked. Yet he simply couldn’t help himself; he couldn’t stop himself from guessing.
Right now, he just wanted to get as far away from Lu Chengfeng as possible.
Once some time passed and the feelings faded, perhaps things would get better.
Yet he couldn’t bear to let go either.
How laughable.
Lu Chengfeng also sensed Mu Ran’s abnormality. Recalling the doctor’s warning that Mu Ran’s emotions might fluctuate wildly lately, he decided not to bicker with him, instead sitting down and forcefully turning Mu Ran’s body around, coaxing him with patient persistence: “Last time you insisted on applying the ointment yourself, and ended up clumsy enough to poke it straight into your eye. Let me do it.”
“No, you” Mu Ran was left utterly speechless by the remark.
This guy didn’t know how to speak nicely, yet he spoke relentlessly!
He wasn’t an idiot; how could anyone genuinely poke something straight into their eye? That had simply been an excuse to create an opening for Lu Chengfeng to help him, in hopes that if the atmosphere was right, Lu Chengfeng might experience a flutter of the heart.
And what had been the result?
This fellow had peeled back his eyelids, dropped the eye drops in before he even had time to react, and then pinned him against the sofa with a towel pressed over his eyes. The entire sequence of actions had flowed with smooth, uninterrupted precision—aside from the hand holding his shoulder to apply the medicine, not even a corner of his clothing had been brushed against.
He should have realized long ago what kind of romantic ideas a straight guy like Lu Chengfeng could possibly harbor.
He had finally figured it out: from now on, he would simply act as a normal friend to Lu Chengfeng. Perhaps he ought to step outside and expose himself to new people and new things; maybe then he would finally learn to let go.
Upon thinking this, Mu Ran felt a weight lift from his chest. Brushing back the hair over his forehead, he adopted an expression of stoic resignation: “Come on, do it.”
“Pfft” Lu Chengfeng let out a soft chuckle.
Mu Ran rarely saw Lu Chengfeng laugh; ever since they were kids, this person had always worn a bitter, deeply troubled expression, as though everyone owed him money.
Yet it was precisely because of that that his smile appeared all the more mesmerizing. Mu Ran always found himself irresistibly wishing to commit every single fleeting instant to memory, much like the present moment.
The corners of his lips curved into an exquisite arc, his long, narrow eyes imbued with a trace of tender color, and that refined face sculpted as if by a modeler was no longer locked in its usual icy exterior. It was precisely this expression that kept drawing Mu Ran deeper into obsession step by step.
Lu Chengfeng applied the medication with infinite patience, his movements exceptionally gentle out of fear that he might hurt him.
The atmosphere was far too precious, tempting Mu Ran to yearn that if the female lead could only appear a little later just a fraction later even allowing him to experience this for just a tiny moment longer would be enough.
“All done.” Accompanied by Lu Chengfeng withdrawing his hand, Mu Ran’s dream-like illusion reached its stopping point.
“I’m going to sleep.” Mu Ran scrambled into the quilt. “My mom should have the guest room cleaned up; you get some rest too.”
Lu Chengfeng spread his hands lightly: “Too bad, really. Auntie only tidied up two rooms, and judging by the weather, it looks like it’s going to rain.”
Mu Ran harbored an intense fear of thunder, and over the years he had used this very excuse to frequent Lu Chengfeng’s place on numerous occasions.
This wasn’t a pretense; he genuinely, deeply feared it.