The two bugs remained in a tacit, comfortable silence while eating. Neither of them spoke first.
However, Mislert would occasionally place some of Yi Xuan’s favorite dishes into his bowl. He was even meticulous enough to pick out the green onions from the soup before serving it to him.
Yi Xuan liked the fragrance of green onions and cilantro when dishes were stir-fried, but he disliked eating them.
Before, when he ate these dishes, he had to pick them out himself, or Little Dingdang would prepare them in advance. This time, Mislert took over this trivial task. He placed the picked-over vegetables into Yi Xuan’s bowl and even peeled a small plate of shrimp, placing them right in front of him.
After doing all this, Mislert stood with empty hands, watching Yi Xuan pick up a peeled shrimp from the bowl and pop it into his mouth. He then waited with a look of anticipation for some praise.
The Master used to always do this before.
As expected, this had not changed!
Yi Xuan lowered his head, chewed and swallowed the shrimp, then looked up. He curled the corners of his lips at Mislert, picked up a peeled shrimp from his own bowl, and placed it into Mislert’s bowl, saying softly:
“Peeled perfectly. Eat.”
Mislert pursed his lips, struggling to suppress a smile, and pretended to be indifferent as he said: “As long as you like it, Master.”
In reality, he cared deeply. His heart was already soaring with joy because of the Master’s praise.
Mislert took off the oil-stained disposable glove and tossed it into the trash can at his feet. His left hand had been wrapped in a thin bandage, but because he had applied medicine earlier and his healing ability, while not exceptional, was at least better than a male bug’s, the wound had stopped bleeding. He thought for a moment and removed the bandage entirely.
It did not hurt much anyway.
“Eat. Why are you staring at me?”
Perhaps it had been a long time since they had eaten together at the same table in such a calm manner, but Mislert had been watching Yi Xuan eat until he seemed somewhat dazed. Yi Xuan, who was becoming impatient under his gaze, looked up and placed a piece of braised pork into Mislert’s bowl, interrupting his stare.
“Yes, yes. I am sorry.”
“I have heard you say sorry so many times that my ears are developing calluses.”
Little Dingdang had made many dishes today, and they were all things Yi Xuan liked. Even while speaking, Yi Xuan still had rice in his mouth. To ensure the food would not fall out while he talked, Yi Xuan did not speak very loudly.
However, a Ci Jun’s hearing is always sharp. Mislert heard every word of Yi Xuan’s comment. His hand froze, and as if possessed, he blurted out the thought that had been in his mind: “Master, do you hope I talk more in the future?”
“Isn’t that obvious? I hope that even when I scold you or when you make a mistake, you can explain yourself more. Do not just hang your head, say sorry, and then stand there like a frozen green onion. Do you know how infuriating that is?” Yi Xuan looked up, appearing frustrated by Mislert’s inability to live up to his expectations.
“But Master, did you not say before that you liked Ci Jun who were cool, aloof, and did not talk much?” Mislert asked blankly.
“When did I…” Yi Xuan’s sentence trailed off as he suddenly recalled something.
Did he actually say that to Mislert?
Oh, hell. That must have been just after they were married. He remembered Mislert asking what kind of bug he liked. What did he write back then? He said he had no resistance to the cool, aloof types who were concise in their speech, just like Mislert—that he looked the most handsome when he was working.
But wasn’t that just foreshadowing for Mislert’s taciturn personality in the story? Who would remember something like that now?
What a massive trap he had buried for himself. A trap so deep he almost could not stop himself from cursing.
“No, why do you remember something from so long ago? Wasn’t the point of that sentence the second half, where I praised how handsome you were when you worked? Why is your focus so strange?” Yi Xuan shifted the blame without hesitation.
“So, you do not like me like this?” Mislert pursed his lips, looking anxious.
“Well, it is not that I do not like it. You look quite handsome when you work, but it would be better if you could open your mouth and speak normally when we are not working. I hope my future Ci Jun can coax me when I am angry, rather than leaving me to comfort myself. If you do that, I will only get angrier and angrier, until I end up like before. You know.” Yi Xuan explained, looking a bit awkward.
“I understand now.” Mislert nodded.
Both bugs knew exactly what Yi Xuan meant by the unsaid part, and there was no need to break the hard-won peaceful atmosphere by bringing it up.
“As long as you understand.”
As Yi Xuan breathed a sigh of relief, he began to reflect on himself. Was the character design he created for Mislert in the story wrong from the start?
That was a very unexpected realization.
The real world was constantly optimizing and improving the details of the novel, even compensating for things until the character matched reality more closely.
Mislert finished his meal faster than Yi Xuan, but he did not stand up. Instead, he propped his head on his hand and watched Yi Xuan eat slowly.
“Do not stare at me, Mislert. It makes me lose my appetite; it is awkward.” Yi Xuan did not even lift his head as he said this.
“Okay, Master. I just have not seen you in a long time and wanted to look at you more.”
Mislert did not blink when he said this. He noticed Yi Xuan’s body suddenly stiffen, so he tilted his head in confusion, looking innocent.
“Cough, cough. It is fine. I am just not used to you being this direct all of a sudden.” Yi Xuan coughed lightly, feeling awkward at Mislert’s sudden bluntness. He then pretended not to understand anything and continued: “If I remember correctly, did we not just see each other yesterday?”
“You clearly know I did not mean that.” Mislert’s voice was filled with a soft complaint, as if he did not want Yi Xuan to hear it.
“Oh.”
Unfortunately, Yi Xuan heard it. Not only did he hear it, but he heard every word. He suddenly looked very busy, reaching out as if to pick up a chicken wing, but then redirecting his chopsticks toward the vegetables, then changing direction again to point at the tofu, before pulling back and grabbing the last shrimp in his bowl. Only after placing the food in his bowl did he let out a low, drawn-out oh, acknowledging that he had heard everything.
From then on, until Yi Xuan finished his meal and put down his chopsticks, neither of them made another sound.
Just as Yi Xuan finished wiping his mouth with the handkerchief Mislert handed him:
“Master, I miss you very much.”
Mislert kept his hand out, holding the handkerchief, his gaze sincere as he looked at Yi Xuan. He did a good job of masking the grievance in his eyes; his voice was calm, not questioning, merely stating his thoughts.
“I know.”
Yi Xuan replied in a muffled voice.
So, who is he talking about when he says he misses me? Is it the current me? Or the me I portrayed in the story?
Yi Xuan’s mood was strange. But for no reason at all, even though both were him, whose jealousy was he currently feeling?
Yi Xuan had not figured it out yet, but Mislert spoke again: “Master, can you please not leave me again?”
Yi Xuan did not answer that, but a string in his mind seemed to have snapped into place in a strange way.