I was born on the Qingming Festival in 1998. That day, the sky was thick with dark clouds and a persistent drizzle fell. On my mother’s way home after paying respects to our ancestors, her labor was triggered, and I was born beside a solitary grave.
I was born more than two months premature. They say premature babies are prone to illness, and my family was terrified I would die young. Consequently, from childhood to adulthood, I was practically raised on a constant regimen of medicine.
When I was ten years old, I fell seriously ill. For an entire year, I suffered from a fever that wouldn’t break, leaving me in a constant state of delirium. My parents took me everywhere, from the provincial people’s hospital down to the local barefoot doctors, but no one could find the cause. Some doctors even told my parents to go home and prepare for my funeral.
My parents washed their faces with tears every day, yet they were utterly helpless.
Later, a young Kanshi Xiansheng came to our village. Thinking they might as well try anything as a last resort, my parents invited him over.
The moment the Kanshi Xiansheng saw me, his expression shifted instantly. He pulled my parents aside and said solemnly, “Your daughter was born at an ill-omened time. This is a case of Xiebing. Ordinary medicine is useless; we must apply the right remedy for this specific affliction.”
My parents were stunned. It took a long while for them to snap out of it and ask anxiously, “Then what should we do? Please, we beg you to save our daughter!”
My mother knelt directly before the Kanshi Xiansheng. Seeing how devout my parents were, the master sighed heavily and asked them to step outside to speak.
I didn’t know what the Kanshi Xiansheng said to them, but when my parents returned to the room, they were highly emotional, and their faces were etched with deep worry.
Three nights later, our house was decorated with lanterns and red streamers. The courtyard, which should have been filled with a festive atmosphere, instead radiated a piercing sense of eeriness.
My mother brought out a set of red clothes for me to change into. Throughout the process, she kept her lips pressed tight and didn’t say a word. When I asked her what was wrong, she didn’t answer, but I could clearly see that her eyes were rimmed with red.
After I was dressed, she instructed me to stay in the room and not go out. I was only to come out when she called for me, saying this was all to cure my illness.
Though I didn’t understand why the treatment was so strange, I was very obedient to my mother.
Later that evening, the Kanshi Xiansheng arrived. Peering curiously through a crack in the door, I saw him holding a spirited, large red rooster. The rooster’s feathers were sleek and shiny, its comb was as red as dripping blood, and it looked quite majestic. A large red flower was tied to its chest.
To my surprise, the moon hanging in the sky outside was tinged with a shade of blood. Although it was quite frightening, I was young at the time and didn’t think much of it.
After an unknown amount of time, the sound of drums and gongs mixed with the blare of suona horns pierced the silent night. Drowsy as I was, I was jolted awake.
My mother entered the room then, her voice somewhat hoarse. “Jing Yao, the hour has come. Come out with me.”
I gave a soft response, but my heart was filled with confusion. “Mom, where are we going?”
My mother didn’t answer me. Her grip was surprisingly strong as she took my hand and led me into the courtyard.
There were very few people in the yard, and all of them were strangers. The moment I arrived, the drums, gongs, and suona horns stopped. Standing before me was the Kanshi Xiansheng, smiling as he held that large rooster.
“The hour has come,” the Kanshi Xiansheng said, looking at me meaningfully.
Before I could wonder what his words meant, my parents forcibly pressed my head down in the next second, making me kowtow toward the Kanshi Xiansheng and the rooster.
I didn’t understand what this was for, but at the moment I lowered my head, the drums and gongs suddenly thundered, and only the Kanshi Xiansheng’s slightly shrill voice echoed in my ears.
“Hongyue Zhiye, Longwang Quqin.”
“Xuejia marries off a daughter; to betray is to perish.”
“The rite is complete!”
Once it was over, my parents let go of me. The Kanshi Xiansheng gave the rooster to my parents, telling them to raise it well until it died of natural causes.
Then, he gave me a Longxing Yupai, about two fingers wide and strung on a red cord. He said this jade plaque would keep me safe and ensure I never fell ill again.
My mother placed the jade plaque around my neck and warned me that no matter what happened in the future, I must never take it off.
I nodded ignorantly. After that night, my illness truly did begin to fade. In the days that followed, everything for our family went smoothly; even when I encountered danger, I was always able to turn the situation into good luck.
When I was twelve, I went to a market with my mother. While crossing the street, a large truck sped toward me. I was so terrified I froze, but just as the truck was about to hit me, it swerved violently and crashed into a tree by the roadside. I was completely unharmed.
Then there was the camping trip organized by my school when I graduated from primary school. That day, I set off from home to meet at the school, but halfway there, it was as if I had lost my way. A walk that usually took minutes took me two hours to reach the school. By the time I arrived, the bus had already left. Later, that bus was involved in a multi-vehicle pileup on a bridge. Nine of my classmates died, and the rest were seriously injured. I had happened to escape it entirely.
Whenever the villagers mentioned it, they said I was blessed with great luck, and even I felt the same way.
However, as I grew up year by year, the look in my mother’s eyes became increasingly worried. She was strictly against me dating. Whenever she saw a boy showing interest in me, she reacted as if facing a mortal enemy.
She was always whispering in my ear: stay away from men; they only bring misfortune.
I found it strange. Normally, my mother was quite an open-minded person, but she was extremely opposed to this one thing.
During my freshman year of high school, a handsome boy in my class showed interest in me. I liked him a bit too, so we made a plan to go to the amusement park over the weekend.
Unexpectedly, I learned the next day that the boy had been in an accident. He was lying in the hospital, and no one knew if he would wake up.
When my mother found out about this, she was so angry she made me kneel for an entire night as punishment. I was quite rebellious then, and I kept demanding to know why she was so against me dating.
My mother eventually grew tired of my questioning. Her eyes fixed intensely on mine. “Jing Yao, you already have a husband! You cannot have any feelings for other boys! You must be loyal to your husband! If you don’t listen to me, you will harm others, and you will harm yourself even more!”
My mother’s words were like a bolt from the blue, leaving me stunned for a long time.
“Hus… husband?” I asked, my mouth slightly agape in disbelief.
My mother’s eyes were bloodshot. It was only on this day that I learned that at the age of ten, I had gained a Chongxi husband whom I had never met.
The Chongxi was the Kanshi Xiansheng’s idea. He said that only by using a Chongxi to dispel the evil spirits would my Xiebing be cured.
I had always thought Chongxi was just a superstitious custom from the old society, but I never imagined such an absurd thing would happen to me.
My mother believed in it heart and soul, because my illness truly had improved after the Chongxi.
But I felt it was just a coincidence.
My mother said that if I insisted on dating, I would be harming two people: myself and the person I loved.
“Does that mean I can’t get married my whole life?” I asked her.
My mother looked at me and wiped away her tears. “Jing Yao, don’t blame us for making that decision back then. We just wanted you to live.”
I stiffened and nodded, never daring to bring up the subject of dating again.
I was curious about my Chongxi husband and asked her where he was and what he looked like. My mother’s gaze became evasive.
“Jing Yao, he is right by your side. He knows your every move.”