I get what the voice's owner—now going by God—is trying to say.
But here's the thing: if I agree to this 'request,' I'd be turning every faction out there against me. All of 'em. Every last one.
I take a look at my hand, peeking out from my school uniform.
Just a hand.
Just an ordinary human hand.
No matter how you look at it, it's the kind of hand that's never thrown a punch in its life.
Now, put yourself in my shoes for a second.
If someone told you, "You're all gonna fight each other to the death now," how would you feel?
Me? I've just been told, "You're gonna pick a fight with the whole world now."
You can probably guess how I'm feeling, yeah?
Point is, I'm absolutely useless when it comes to rough stuff. If it came down to it, I'd be like D-doria going up against Freez-a-sama—the outcome's written in the stars.1
Yeah, no way!
Sorry to God for the polite explanation and all, but I value my life here. If you want someone who can handle that kind of thing, go ask that immortal guy Kora, or Joe-something-or-other. Huh? They're the same person?
Oh, right. If they're fictional characters, I can remember them. Maybe I should use this memory and become a manga artist or a novelist. Copyright? What's that? Sounds tasty or something. Don't remember, no memory of it.
So, uh, this is really awkward to say, but let's just call this one a miss and have you head on back.
'Of course, I won't force you. This is merely a request, after all.'
God's voice rang out, like he could see right through me. Actually, maybe he can. He's God, after all.
'But as I said before, you are the Demon Lord. In the end, whether you like it or not, the world sees you as its enemy. If you want peace, this place is the only sanctuary you'll find. Well, not that I can stop you if you insist.'
Yeah, you've got no intention of letting me go, do you, God?
"But won't I just get killed if I stay here...?"
Right. If the whole world becomes my enemy, wouldn't it be better to just run and hide? If I set up shop here, there's a chance the military will come storming in. And the Hero—the Demon Lord's natural enemy—that's terrifying too. Even if I build the most complicated, sprawling labyrinth, they'd just throw bodies at it until I'm overwhelmed and painted red.2
'That's why I'm giving you a boon. Me, personally giving you something—that's a real steal. Practically bleeding generosity here.'3
Hmm. So God wants me to get a cheat power and just steamroll everything? That's... actually not a bad deal. If possible, I'd like an easy-mode cheat—something strong enough that even the Hero goes down while picking his nose. Unlike a game, I can't afford to die here, after all.
'Mhm. But before that, let me explain how to operate the dungeon. I promise it'll be fun. Go ahead—take out the smartphone from your chest pocket.'
"Wait, I could bring my phone in with me?"
Well, there goes the isekai atmosphere. Still, let me check my contacts real quick.4
Huh?
Wait... aren't we heading in the direction of me actually listening to him?
Summary:
The protagonist attempts to refuse God's offer to become a Demon Lord with cheats, arguing he's just an ordinary person. God counters by pointing out that the world already sees him as an enemy, making the dungeon the only safe haven. The protagonist begins to waver, considering the possibility of receiving cheat powers, and God demonstrates the dungeon's smartphone interface—leading to the protagonist's realization that he's being slowly talked into accepting the deal.
Trivia:
The protagonist wears a gakuran (school uniform), establishing he's a teenager or young adult.
The smartphone's presence in the fantasy world is treated as a comedic disruption of isekai expectations.
Freez-a-sama and D-doria are parody references to Dragon Ball characters, indicating the protagonist's otaku knowledge.
The "immortal guy Kora" and "Joe-something-or-other" are vague anime/manga references, with the protagonist noting they might be the same person.
The protagonist briefly considers becoming a manga artist or novelist using his memories of fictional works.
The dungeon is described as both a "labyrinth" and a potential fortress against enemies.
The Hero is mentioned as the Demon Lord's natural opposite and a source of fear.
"Human wave tactics" (人海戦術) is referenced as a potential threat to overwhelm the protagonist's defenses.
God's offer of a "boon" is framed as "bleeding generosity" (出血大サービス), a used-car-salesman-style pitch.
The protagonist's fear of death ("I can't afford to die") is the emotional core beneath the humor.
Translation Notes:
1 ↩ These are parody-obfuscated references to Dragon Ball characters Frieza and Dodoria. The protagonist uses altered names to avoid copyright while making the reference clear to otaku readers. The humor comes from the obviousness of the parody.
2 ↩ The Japanese term 血祭り literally means "blood sacrifice" but idiomatically refers to being slaughtered or overwhelmed in battle. The translation "painted red" captures the violent imagery while sounding natural in English.
3 ↩ The Japanese phrase combines "lavish generosity" with "bleeding service" (an aggressive discount sales pitch). The protagonist uses this sarcastically, comparing God's offer to a shopkeeper pretending to give away goods at a loss.
4 ↩ The term 異世界情緒 refers to the "isekai mood" or "otherworld fantasy atmosphere." The arrival of a smartphone destroys this mood, as modern technology clashes with the fantasy setting—a meta-joke about isekai genre conventions.
Notes:
• God - An ancient, divine guide to the reincarnated protagonist who oversees departed souls. Though appearing only as a voice, this paternalistic yet playful deity speaks with casual, modern exasperation. While acting as a benefactor who grants power and protection, they maintain a rational, persuasive demeanor, frequently apologizing for their intimidating presence while seeking a favor in return.
• Freez-a-sama - Note: Parody reference to Dragon Ball character Frieza; mentioned as stronger opponent.
• D-doria - Note: Parody reference to Dragon Ball character Dodoria; mentioned in hypothetical.
• Joe-something-or-other - Note: Vague parody reference; mentioned as alternative.
• Kora - Note: Parody reference to fictional character (possibly Korosensei or similar); mentioned as immortal option.
• Hero - Note: The Demon Lord's natural enemy; mentioned as threat.