Streamer Gouzha felt that impulsively calling the number left by this mysterious person in his DMs was the biggest mistake of his life.
Facing three disdainful and speechless gazes, Bai Xianxian felt she could still try to defend herself. Clutching her bag and straightening her back with effort, she summoned her courage and said, "It's because your place is too cold! I'm just frozen!"
The two Taoists: "Pfft—"
The streamer said lifelessly, "How about you just leave? There's really something wrong here. If you stay, not only will you fail to scam anyone, but you might even lose your life. I don't want to be the cause of your death."
Bai Xianxian was silent for a moment. "Fine, I'll come clean."
Forget it—being aloof wasn't going to work anymore. Her image was already set, so she gave up struggling.
All three assumed she was about to admit she was just a fraud.
Then she said with complete seriousness, "I am indeed scared, but being afraid of ghosts doesn't conflict with catching ghosts. Actually, I'm really powerful!"
The three: "??"
Were scammers this persistent these days?!
Gouzha said in despair, "Why do you keep picking on a small streamer like me? Go after the top five big shots on the streamer rankings! They're the ones worth targeting!"
Bai Xianxian felt that words were useless, so she directly pulled the Six-Spirit Sword out of her backpack.
The moment the Six-Spirit Sword appeared, both Taoists let out an "Oh!" The jade was pure, translucent and holy, with what seemed like light flowing through it. Just from its appearance alone, one could tell this sword was no ordinary item.
But extraordinary as it was, this was the first time in their lives they'd seen someone use a jade sword as a magical artifact.
The elderly Taoist immediately sneered, "Ignorant child, only showing off appearances. This jade sword—"
Bai Xianxian: "It's wood."
Elderly Taoist: "?"
Bai Xianxian: "Lightning-Struck Jujube Wood." She added, "A single solid piece."
In the Taoist Sect, Lightning-Struck Jujube Wood was practically the number one sacred wood—worth more than gold, priceless and unavailable on the market. As the name suggests, it's jujube wood that has been struck by heavenly thunder. Lightning-Struck Jujube Wood naturally carries warding effects on its own; even if you did nothing with it, it could scare off a host of evil spirits. If you then crafted it into a magical artifact, the effect would be more than doubled. To put it simply, its evil-repelling power is at least a hundred times greater than peach wood.
Taoism reveres thunder above all, and many powerful Taoist arts are related to thunder—such as the Thunder God Incantation. Among the most formidable deities in the heavenly court is the Thunder Ancestor.
The Thunder Ancestor is the Nine Heavens Thunderous Universal Salvation Heavenly Worthy. If ordinary people frequently chant his name, they can achieve the effect of warding off and expelling evil. For example, when walking alone at night, having nightmares, experiencing sleep paralysis, or encountering ghost walls, simply silently reciting "Nine Heavens Thunderous Universal Salvation Heavenly Worthy" in your heart can use the Thunder Ancestor's name to suppress and scare away evil spirits.
In short, Lightning-Struck Jujube Wood is powerful. A single solid piece of Lightning-Struck Jujube Wood is extraordinary.
A Six-Spirit Sword crafted from a single solid piece of Lightning-Struck Jujube Wood is a treasure that Taoist practitioners wouldn't even dare to dream of.
The Zhengyi Sect, in particular, has a strong preference for Thunder Arts.
These two Taoists happened to be from the Zhengyi Sect, and upon hearing Bai Xianxian's words, their eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets.
The middle-aged Taoist immediately said, "Impossible! How could Lightning-Struck Jujube Wood be this color?"
Bai Xianxian: "It's been polished. Polished for over a thousand years, and it turned this color."
After all, anything can be polished.
The two couldn't help but lean in to examine the Six-Spirit Sword closely. Getting nearer, they noticed that the blade indeed had wood grain patterns—it truly was a genuine wooden sword!
The elderly Taoist couldn't restrain himself and reached out a hand. "It really is Lightning-Struck Jujube Wood? May I touch it?"
Before Bai Xianxian could respond, the streamer sitting across from them jumped up in agitation. "What thunder, what wood—can you guys focus on the actual task! Can you deal with the filthy thing in my place or not?!"
Just as he finished speaking, a sharp screech suddenly came from the kitchen.
Like the sound of a kettle when water boils.
The streamer immediately clutched his head and screamed in terror.
Bai Xianxian also instinctively gripped the Six-Spirit Sword, holding it up in front of her in a defensive stance. The middle-aged Taoist flicked his sleeve and rose, striding toward the kitchen.
He walked to the doorway, looked inside, then turned around and said, "The water's boiled."
It really was the sound of boiling water.
Bai Xianxian had just let out a sigh of relief when the streamer shouted in panic, "I didn't boil any water! Who boiled it?!"
The two Taoists exchanged glances, and the middle-aged one recalled, "When I came in to check earlier, it did seem like the stove wasn't lit."
It was just past noon, with brilliant sunshine, yet it seemed not a single ray could penetrate this room.
The Six-Spirit Sword in Bai Xianxian's hand suddenly let out two resonant clangs.
The next moment, a thin, shrill voice faintly echoed through the room, as if speaking in the tone of the host, carrying a hint of eerie amusement: "Guests have arrived. Boil some water to brew tea."
The streamer's legs kicked out, and he collapsed onto the sofa, nearly fainting.
The middle-aged Taoist held his magical artifact horizontally in front of him and shouted, "What evil spirit dares to cause trouble here?!"
His sword was strung together from copper coins, and when shaken, it produced the sound of coins clashing. These copper coins had all been consecrated before the Three Pure Ones statues, and the sound of the coins colliding could also suppress ghosts and spirits.
The shrill voice merely cackled with laughter, and the copper coin sword in the middle-aged Taoist's hand aimed at himself as if beyond his control.
The middle-aged Taoist was drenched in sweat, straining with all his might to keep his own magical artifact from piercing his chest.
Seeing that the middle-aged Taoist couldn't handle this evil entity of unknown origin, the old Taoist immediately raised the Bagua Mirror in his hand toward the kitchen doorway and shouted, "Nine Heavens Mystic Light, reveal yourself at once!"
As the mirror shone over, a sinister ghostly figure appeared on its surface.
Bai Xianxian happened to be sitting directly to the old Taoist's left front, and she saw the evil entity in the mirror at a glance. It wore a red wedding dress, hair disheveled and hanging loose, the long red skirt covering its feet, the whole figure seeming to float in the air. Realizing it had been caught in the mirror, it slowly turned its head to look at them, revealing a ghastly pale and sinister smile.
Bai Xianxian nearly had her soul snatched away by that image.
The next moment, the female ghost in the mirror vanished, and the copper coin sword in the middle-aged Taoist's hand clattered to the ground. He collapsed to his knees, utterly drained of strength.
The old Taoist raised the Bagua Mirror to shine again, but the next instant, it suddenly aimed at himself. A bizarre, feminine smile spread across his deeply wrinkled face. He first touched the hair at his temples, then twisted his aged, overweight body in a chillingly coquettish manner, and slowly rose to his feet.
When he opened his mouth, it was still the old Taoist's voice, but the tone was unmistakably that of a resentful woman. She looked at the streamer and asked, "He and I are husband and wife—why did you bring outsiders to harm me?"
The streamer let out a shrieking scream like a pig being slaughtered.
The middle-aged Taoist, collapsed on the ground, shouted in terror, "She's possessed the old Taoist's body!"
The old Taoist, now possessed by the female ghost, flirtatiously tossed his hair: "This old Taoist's body is bloated and stinks. Disgusting." She suddenly looked at Bai Xianxian, who seemed frozen in fright, and cackled in the old Taoist's grating voice: "You're much better."
The old Taoist's body suddenly crumpled to the ground.
A gust of sinister wind rushed straight at Bai Xianxian.
Bai Xianxian screamed and swung the Six-Spirit Sword in her hand forward, slashing wildly: "Stay away from me ahhh!!"
Thud!
It sounded like someone had crashed into the coffee table, knocking the tissues and ashtray on top of it all to the floor.
Bai Xianxian sprang to her feet. Not giving it another chance, she held the sword in one hand and formed a Hand Seal with the other, chanting rapidly: "Gather spirits to the ear, ten thousand roots of spirit, open the Heavenly Eye, ancestors of the spirit sect, commanders of all gods, by decree I command!"
A flash of spiritual light passed through, the Heavenly Eye opened, and no evil could hide.
Bai Xianxian looked up and saw the female ghost standing face-to-face, nose-to-nose right in front of her. Her breath caught in her throat, and she let out a scream even more terrified than the streamer's.
The female ghost with disheveled hair had a gash on her face that was still seeping blood—likely a wound from the Six-Spirit Sword just now—making her look even more horrifying.
Bai Xianxian was scared out of all reason by the face-to-face jump scare. When fear reaches its limit, it turns to rage. She became completely frantic, swinging the Six-Spirit Sword viciously at the ghost: "You ugly bitch! Scaring me! Scaring me! I'll cut you to pieces!!"
The Six-Spirit Sword's blade was translucent, with light seeming to flow through it, and each wave of sword intent forced the female ghost to retreat again and again.
Bai Xianxian hacked wildly with no technique at all, and when she found it wasn't working, she held the sword horizontally before her and shouted: "Assisting the Mystic Way, the Celestial Master's decree, slay demons and subdue evil, heaven and earth clear and bright!"
Overwhelming sword intent descended from above like a canopy. The female ghost let out a miserable shriek, her entire form flying backward, slamming hard into the wall before crashing to the ground.
Bai Xianxian pressed her advantage. Using the sword as a brush, she swung the Six-Spirit Sword through the air, rapidly drawing a Ghost-Binding Talisman, and slammed it hard onto the female ghost.
The female ghost finally stopped moving. Seeming to realize she had met her match today, all the malice on her face vanished, replaced by a pitiful look as she crawled toward Bai Xianxian. "Daoist, I've never harmed anyone."
Bai Xianxian stumbled back two steps in fright, pointing the sword tip at her: "Stay right there! Don't come closer! Turn your head around!"
The female ghost whimpered twice, then turned to face the wall.
Bai Xianxian first ran over to help the middle-aged Taoist up, then together they carried the old Taoist—who had fainted after being possessed—to the sofa.
The streamer sat frozen on the floor against the sofa, as if scared senseless.
After being patted and called by the two, the old Taoist finally slowly came to. Having been possessed by an evil spirit, his vitality was damaged, and he was considerably weaker than before. The first thing he asked upon waking was: "Where's the evil spirit?!"
Bai Xianxian pointed to the corner: "Crouching over there, reflecting on her wrongdoings."
The old Taoist gave Bai Xianxian a complicated look and let out a long sigh: "In the end, this poor Daoist misjudged things. Today, I owe it all to you, young friend. Then let this evil spirit be taken back by you to be delivered from suffering."
Bai Xianxian quickly waved her hands: "Forget it, forget it! Better leave the deliverance to you two Daoists!"
The old Taoist said, "Very well. Since we came all this way, we ought to contribute something."
The female ghost, who had been facing the wall in reflection, suddenly cried out: "I'm not leaving! I want to stay with my husband!"
Bai Xianxian yelled at her: "Shut up! Who's your husband! He's a human and you're a ghost—don't you know the living and the dead walk different paths?!"
The other three couldn't see or hear her, but judging by Bai Xianxian's words, they knew what the female ghost was saying. The streamer, who had just managed to get back on his feet, immediately went weak in the knees and collapsed to the ground again, sobbing in despair, "Miss Ghost, please let me go! I'm just a pitiful single dog! I don't even have a girlfriend—how did I end up as your husband?!"
The female ghost turned her head in disbelief: "It was you who willingly offered your birth date and time to form a marriage bond with me. How can you deny it now?!"
Bai Xianxian hadn't expected that catching a ghost would also treat her to a cheesy prime-time soap opera.
The female ghost turned to Bai Xianxian with a wail: "Daoist, you must do right by me! It's not that I'm insisting on clinging to him—he's the one who married me himself. Since I've entered this household, I'm his in life and his in death! I'm not leaving!"
Bai Xianxian: "Turn around!"
Female ghost: "…"
She faced the wall again, looking aggrieved.
Bai Xianxian rubbed her aching head and glanced at the streamer. "Alright, how about you two parties talk it out yourselves? If you don't get this sorted, she won't agree to be released, and the only option left is to kill her."
Female ghost: "?"
Hearing this, the streamer's fear subsided considerably. He also wanted to know exactly how he'd managed to provoke this ghost sister, so he gritted his teeth and nodded.
Bai Xianxian formed a hand seal and chanted an incantation. With a flash of spiritual light, the female ghost gradually materialized into view.
She wiped the blood from her face, crouched there pitifully, and revealed a pale face from behind her long hair—she actually looked rather delicate and pretty.
The streamer took a couple of glances and stammered, "When did I ever marry you?"
The female ghost huffed angrily: "A week ago! You chose me as your bride, offered your birth date and time, signed the marriage contract, and we even held a wedding ceremony—have you forgotten?!"
Streamer: "??"
He was stunned for a long moment, then suddenly slapped his thigh: "Damn! It's that game!"
Bai Xianxian asked curiously, "What game?"
The streamer said, "A web game. You see, I do livestreams—sometimes streamers connect and play little games together. A viewer in the chat sent a game link, something called 'Tang Bohu Picks Qiuxiang,' so I clicked in and played it. The homepage had a bunch of options—beautiful, virtuous, intellectual, those kinds of things—asking me to pick my three favorites. After I chose, an NPC in wedding attire popped up, saying she was the Qiuxiang I'd picked, and all I had to do was enter my birthday to get married."
Web games like that are a dime a dozen—nobody takes them seriously. You play it, you forget it.
Who would've thought that one little selection would actually net him a wife?
The female ghost said mournfully, "I put on my most beautiful wedding dress, chose the most auspicious day, and went through heaven knows how much trouble to find you—but you don't care about me at all! I wanted you to spend more time with me, but all you do is play games! I told you I don't like eating that, but you insisted on ordering it anyway!"
The streamer couldn't help but retort, "I'm a gaming streamer—what else am I supposed to do if not play games? And even if I ordered takeout, you couldn't eat it anyway!"
Female ghost: "Whatever—you just don't care about me!"
Streamer: "…Fine, my bad."
Bai Xianxian: "?"
How did they end up bickering like a young couple?
The female ghost grew more aggrieved as she spoke: "I don't even mind that you're chubby or that you don't bathe and smell a bit funky—but you have the nerve to complain about me! And you even brought these outsiders to bully me!"
Streamer: "…?"
Bai Xianxian couldn't help but say, "If he's that trash, why stick around? Just go reincarnate and find a better man in your next life."
Female ghost: "…………" She let out a sniffle. "But I've already signed a marriage contract with him and paid the price. If I just leave like this, wouldn't that be a huge loss?"
Bai Xianxian sharply caught the key detail: "What price? Paid to whom?"
But the female ghost pressed her lips together and refused to say another word.
Bai Xianxian weighed the Six-Spirit Sword in her hand. "Either I force the words out of you with my sword, or you speak up on your own. Pick one."
The female ghost shook her head frantically: "I can't say! I signed a contract with him—if I break it, I'll be destroyed, body and soul!"
Bai Xianxian was taken aback. She wasn't very familiar with this kind of contract, so she looked to the other two daoists for guidance. The old daoist pondered for a moment, then said gravely, "There are indeed such vicious contracts among heretical sects. I've only heard a thing or two about them—I don't know the details."
The Taoist Sect preached salvation rather than slaughter. Anything that went straight to destroying someone's soul was certainly nothing good.
The female ghost had only come to marry someone. As she'd said herself, she hadn't harmed anyone. Forcing her to speak would be equivalent to killing her a second time—Bai Xianxian couldn't bring herself to do that.
So she had to say, "Fine, if you don't want to say, then don't. Here's the deal: either you go back with these two daoists willingly and be released, or I send you back to dust and ashes, becoming fertilizer for nature. Pick one."
Female ghost bit her handkerchief: "You're too cruel!"
Bai Xianxian: "Where am I cruel? You're a part of this world anyway—what's wrong with turning into nutrients and giving back to Mother Nature?"
Female ghost: "…"
She turned her head and cast a resentful glance at the streamer, then spoke in a faint, ethereal voice: "I can dissolve our marriage contract and stop pestering you from now on—but you must set up a memorial tablet for me. On holidays and festivals, incense and spirit money are not to be missed."
The streamer nodded repeatedly. "No problem! I don't have money, but I've got plenty of paper money!"
With the client's matter settled, the affair was brought to a satisfactory close.
The female ghost was taken back by the middle-aged Taoist for liberation rites. The old Taoist kept staring at the Six-Spirit Sword that Bai Xianxian had tucked back into her backpack, his eyes filled with undisguised envy. Finally, he asked, "May I ask who your master is and which sect you belong to? From the incantation you chanted earlier, you should be a successor of the Tianshi Way. So young and accomplished—could you be from Longhu Mountain?"
Longhu Mountain's Celestial Master Mansion was considered the orthodox lineage of the Celestial Masters.
Bai Xianxian said, "I am a successor of the Bai family, a branch of the Tianshi Way."
The old Taoist nodded knowingly. "The Bai family? So you're from a folk tradition like me. I haven't heard of it, but it must be a reclusive major sect to have produced such a formidable successor as yourself!"
Bai Xianxian smiled modestly.
After everything was packed up, the streamer pulled out his phone, opened Alipay, and sidled up to Bai Xianxian. "Master, I don't know your going rate, so… is five thousand enough?"
Bai Xianxian didn't know if it was enough either, so she coughed dryly. "Five thousand it is. You're just a small streamer—I won't squeeze you dry."
The streamer gave an awkward smile.
After the transfer was completed, the two Taoists prepared to leave. Bai Xianxian thought, this won't do—how can only I be getting paid? Sure, she was the one who subdued the female ghost, but the two Taoists had also contributed, and they still had to perform the liberation rites!
She quickly called out to them, "Two masters, let me split the payment with you."
To her surprise, both of them waved their hands repeatedly. "No need. The benefactor already completed payment on the order."
Bai Xianxian was confused. "What order?"
The middle-aged Taoist said, "The order on the APP. The benefactor placed an order on the APP, and once it's completed, payment can be made directly." He thought of something and turned to the streamer. "Oh, and if you could give me a five-star review, I'd be most grateful. Boundless Heavenly Lord."
The streamer said, "Of course, of course!"
Bai Xianxian: "??"
She hesitated and asked, "…What APP?"
The middle-aged Taoist seemed surprised that she didn't know, but he patiently explained, "It's the Taoist Sect APP developed jointly by the Taoist Association and folk traditions. After certification, members of the Taoist community can register. If ordinary people encounter supernatural incidents, they can place orders on it."
He pulled out his phone and showed it to Bai Xianxian. "It's this one."
Bai Xianxian looked down.
On the phone's home screen, there was indeed an APP with a Bagua pattern on it, named: TaoLeMo.
Bai Xianxian: ?