General Xie’s funeral arrangements were handled directly by the Ministry of Rites under the Emperor’s explicit orders, sparing Xie Ning from having to worry about any of the details. On the other hand, her mother, Li Wan, was long in waking up. Upon learning of this, the Emperor specially dispatched an imperial physician, who assured them that it was no grave issue—merely a physical manifestation of an emotional blockage that required gradual nourishment and care. Xie Ning came to visit once each day without uttering a word, though Yu Sanniang quietly revealed the truth to her: “Madam has actually awakened; she simply refuses to face reality.”
“It matters not. Just watch over her.” Xie Ning could well understand her mother’s evasion. Li Wan had always viewed her husband as her entire sky, and now that this sky had collapsed, Xie Ning would only truly worry if her mother could face it with untroubled composure.
During the peak of the New Year season, while every household hung up vibrant red lanterns and colorful decorations, the General’s Residence alone tore down its red auspicious charms, replacing them with white mourning banners. Xie Yuanshan’s body lay in state within the General’s Residence for seven days. Throughout these seven days, Xie Ning kept watch before the coffin day and night without rest, meticulously polishing the wild boar tusk into a custom-tailored curved dagger and grinding out a sheath with her own hands.
When the seven days concluded and the coffin was raised, Xie Ning strapped the tusk dagger to her waist, arriving before Li Wan’s bedside once more dressed in plain mourning white.
“Mother, today is the day of Xie Yuanshan’s burial. If you choose not to go, I shall see him off on his final journey alone.”
The figure on the bed remained silent for a long while. Just as Xie Ning was about to turn and leave, Li Wan finally spoke up, “Housekeeper Yu, step outside.”
Upon hearing this, Yu Sanniang looked toward Xie Ning. Receiving Xie Ning’s nod of approval, she quietly departed, thoughtfully closing the door behind her to afford the mother and daughter a private space to speak.
Only when the two of them were left in the room did Xie Ning hear Li Wan’s feeble voice, “Ning’er, come over here.”
Xie Ning stepped forward as requested, only for the bedridden Li Wan to suddenly reach out, fiercely clutching Xie Ning by her collar, her eyes brimming with pure malice and hatred: “You are not my Ning’er! Who are you?”
Xie Ning froze.
“My Ning’er was always the most obedient and gentle, knowing how to care for others and never daring to raise her voice at her father! But you,” Li Wan seemed to explode with all the strength left in her body, all her pent-up resentment transforming into sharp hostility, her tone cutting like blades, “what kind of fiend or monster are you, occupying my daughter’s body! Return my daughter to me!”
Xie Ning allowed her to hold on, feeling her mother’s fingernails digging deeply into her flesh and carving bloody scratches beneath her neck, yet an inexplicable sense of warmth welled up inside her, “Mother, you still care for me in your heart, do you not?”
“No one realized that I had changed,” Xie Ning gazed fixedly into Li Wan’s eyes, “Only you knew, Mother. You care deeply about me in your heart you simply lacked the courage to disobey Xie Yuanshan, isn’t that right?”
Li Wan’s eyes remained consumed with hatred, “Return my daughter to me!”
“She cannot be returned,” Xie Ning’s voice was exceedingly soft. “Mother, that foolish Xie Ning of the past is indeed dead. The one who survived now is this Xie Ning, who will no longer be easily manipulated by either of you. Mother, now that I am no longer as submissive as before, will you care about me more, or will you cast me aside?”
Li Wan was utterly stunned, “You you”
“How should I put it,” Xie Ning’s expression remained serene, yet a deep, hidden madness lurked within her eyes. “Mother, I have died once, but I came back to life. Very bizarre, is it not? Perhaps even Heaven could not stand to watch any longer, granting me a chance at rebirth.”
“I came back to life, so I am different now. Mother, in our past life, you and Xie Yuanshan got your wish and sent me into the Eastern Palace. But do you know what kind of man Crown Prince Xiao Qi truly was?”
“He looked very stern on ordinary days, yet he often smiled easily. Only, whenever he smiled, someone was bound to suffer—such as me. He had known long ago about me and—yet he feigned complete ignorance. I naively believed him to be a gentleman, praying that he might spare me from becoming the Crown Princess, unaware that he had planned from the very beginning to use me as a pawn.”
“In the thirteenth year of Shengyuan, the Emperor suddenly fell gravely ill, and Xiao Qi failed in his court coup, launching an armed rebellion instead. From the day he rebelled, I was suspended high above the city walls every single day, all to display before Xie Yuanshan’s eyes. Mother, do you know what it feels like when the bone-chilling frost of midwinter seeps into your very marrow? Or what it is like to be surrounded by swarms of insects amidst the stench of rotting corpses everywhere?”
“Hemp ropes thicker than a thumb were tied for so long that they dug directly into my flesh. In the end, those hemp ropes turned a vivid crimson—Mother, that was my blood. Yet Xiao Qi would not let me die easily either. Whenever the hemp ropes were thoroughly soaked in my blood, he would lower me down, personally pulling the ropes out from my body and having the imperial physicians apply the finest wound ointments upon me. The moment the wounds barely scabbed over, he would bind me right back up.”
“However, every time he suspended me, he would deliberately dress me in a phoenix crown and ceremonial robes, applying rouge and powder to make me look completely unblemished.” Suspending her was to threaten Xie Yuanshan, whereas the ceremonial robes were meant to provoke Xiao Rong; Xiao Qi’s motives were blazingly transparent.
Watching Li Wan’s expression turn increasingly terrified, Xie Ning gently closed her eyes to calm her emotions, “Forget it, it is all in the past now. In this life, none of this will ever happen again.”
Having regained a new life, it was natural to cast away the past. She was unwilling to allow herself to remain trapped in old patterns, striving to banish all hatred and grudges. Yet the past experiences remained vividly etched in her mind; her rebirth carried the memories of former days, allowing her to put them down, but never to forget. If she had no further entanglements with Xiao Qi in this life, so be it; otherwise, she would never let Xiao Qi off.
Only then did Xie Ning reach out, taking hold of Li Wan’s wrist, “Mother, do not be afraid. In this life, I will never let you witness any of this.”
“Of course, you did not live to see it in the last life either,” Xie Ning’s tone turned icy cold. “Because right after the Lantern Festival, on the way back to Bianyang Pass with Xie Yuanshan, you were beaten to death by him.”
Li Wan shuddered violently, the strength in her hands gripping Xie Ning vanishing almost entirely as she feebly tried to slip away. Yet Xie Ning held fast, “Deep down, you must have known that you would be beaten to death by Xie Yuanshan, right? Given the severity of his beatings, that day was merely a matter of time. Fortunately, this time, Xie Yuanshan died early. You no longer have the chance to be beaten to death by him. Mother, surely you cannot find that regrettable?”
“Ning… Ning’er…” Li Wan was truly frightened by Xie Ning’s tone and demeanor. Though Xie Ning’s words sounded utterly absurd and unbelievable, Li Wan found herself believing from the bottom of her heart that everything Xie Ning said was real!
Xie Ning lowered her eyes slightly, finally releasing Li Wan’s hands, “The daughter you wanted is indeed dead, and no one can return her to you. As for the present me,” she turned around, “perhaps I am truly nothing more than a malevolent ghost.”
Unwilling to say anything further, Xie Ning took a few quick steps before halting once more, “Now, I am going to send Xie Yuanshan off to his end. This is a joyful occasion; Mother, you too should come and take a look at the murderer who killed you in our past life you never had the chance to see his state of death before.”
Xie Ning strode away with broad steps, leaving Li Wan lying dazed on the bed, her head filled entirely with the calm yet terrifying expression Xie Ning had worn. The mere thought that everything Xie Ning said might be true sent shivers running down Li Wan’s spine!
“Ning’er…” That was her only daughter, the other end of her life’s scales. Even if Xie Ning’s side could rarely measure up to Xie Yuanshan, Xie Ning remained the most essential part of her life after all. Waves of cold air rushed up Li Wan’s spine; for reasons unknown, an overwhelming surge of emotion suddenly welled up within her heart as if about to burst through her body. She sat up abruptly from the bed, “I want to go!”
She wanted to see Xie Yuanshan off on his final journey to witness Xie Yuanshan’s ultimate… state of death.
Li Wan finally changed into plain mourning clothes as well.
Walking one behind the other with Xie Ning, they joined the procession in silence.
In the eighth year of Shengyuan, as the old year departed and the new year commenced, the capital was decorated with lanterns and colored banners, every household still immersed in the joy of the Spring Festival. Only the family of the Zhenyuan General wore plain white mourning attire, beating gongs and drums, standing out as a solitary streak of white amidst a sea of red.
The entire population of the capital gathered to spectate this funeral.
On the day of the procession, the snowfall that had persisted for several days in the capital finally ceased, and a blazing sun hung high in the sky, as if bringing a newborn warmth to this cold winter day.
Acting under imperial decree, the Eldest Princess, Xiao Rong, accompanied the eunuch to read the imperial decree: General Xie had worked tirelessly throughout his life with outstanding military merits guarding the border, and was posthumously honored as Marquis Zhenyuan; his wife, Lady Li Wan, was titled a Second-Rank County Lady; and Marquis Zhenyuan’s orphaned daughter, Xie Ning, was granted the title of Princess Ning’an.
Such bestowals already demonstrated divine favor, coupled with Her Highness the Eldest Princess gracing the residence in person to console the widowed mother and orphaned daughter. The people of the time sung praises of the current Emperor for his deep righteousness and empathy toward his subordinates.
Once the eunuch finished reading the decree, the Eldest Princess stepped forward in person to help Li Wan to her feet, “County Lady, please restrain your grief and accept the change! Although Marquis Xie passed away in his prime, Imperial Father holds him in high regard and will certainly not let you and Princess Ning’an suffer. Should you face any difficulties in the future, feel free to come to me.”
Xie Ning had already heard such words before; looking at it now, she realized that when Xiao Rong spoke these words to her mother, Li Wan, her demeanor was equally approachable and brimming with genuine warmth. Deeply moved and trembling with fear, Li Wan expressed her gratitude repeatedly, her tears falling like rain, while Xie Ning’s expression remained as calm as still water, as though all these hardships had nothing to do with her.
Xiao Rong cast a glance at her before continuing, “Princess Ning’an is still young and must observe three years of filial mourning. Three years from now, I fear her marriage age may be somewhat delayed. Imperial Father’s intention is that County Lady need not worry over this either; three years later, if County Lady is willing, Imperial Father can arrange a marriage for Princess Ning’an making her a side consort for the Crown Prince would not be out of the question either.”
Had it been before, hearing such words would have made Li Wan endlessly grateful to the Emperor. However, having been frightened by Xie Ning not long ago, the moment the Eldest Princess brought up the “Crown Prince,” the horrifying words Xie Ning had spoken instantly flashed before Li Wan’s eyes, causing her to shudder violently and stutter in her speech: “This humble servant’s wife thanks His Majesty for his grand grace and virtue! Previously, my deceased husband mentioned to me that His Majesty intended for Ning’er to become the Crown Princess”
As she reached this point, the eunuch accompanying Xiao Rong furrowed his brows slightly, keeping his head lowered so no one would notice. Even so, Xiao Rong caught the decree-reading eunuch in her side glance yet said nothing, continuing to listen to Li Wan’s words.
“Regrettably, Ning’er lacks such good fortune. Now that our family has met with calamity, let Ning’er’s marriage matters be set aside for the time being.”
The moment these words were spoken, even the Eldest Princess felt somewhat surprised, for it sounded as though Li Wan was dissatisfied with the Emperor’s arrangement, deliberately feigning a retreat to gain leverage.
Yet one could hardly blame Li Wan; she was fragile to begin with and had suffered successive blows. Being able to brace herself to see her deceased husband off was already no small feat. Speaking these words now was merely out of concern over Xie Ning’s subtle state of madness, fearing to infuriate Xie Ning, which led her to boldly decline. However, having lived in Bianyang Pass for many years with little experience interacting with noble families in the capital, though she knew certain words required tact, her delivery fell short of finesse, thus creating an ambiguity upon utterance.
Xie Ning had also not expected her mother to speak such words, her eyelids finally lifting slightly. Seeing that Xiao Rong’s eyes had shifted despite her superficial warmth, Xie Ning took the initiative to speak up, “We thank His Majesty and Your Highness the Eldest Princess for your concern. However, my father has just passed away, and my mother remains ill. Under such circumstances, I truly have no heart to discuss other matters; I ask Your Highness the Eldest Princess to grant your forgiveness!”
With polite pleasantries spoken to this point, Xiao Rong could hardly press the matter further.
After the decree-reading eunuch departed, as Xie Ning personally saw the Eldest Princess out to the residence gates, Xiao Rong asked her in a low voice, “I recall that when you were at my residence last time, you claimed you were unwilling to become the Crown Princess were you deceiving me back then?”