Lu Guanyan had waited for three days. His joy at seeing Xiao Biehe wake was proportional to the frantic anxiety he had felt. When Xiao Biehe spoke, his voice cool and gentle sent Lu Guanyan into a daze. For a moment, he could do nothing but grip the man’s hand tightly, as if to prevent him from running away. All his previous dark thoughts were swept clean from his mind.
Xiao Biehe had been wounded so deeply by the very family he still couldn’t let go of, and the only thing he truly owned had been destroyed. Lu Guanyan had assumed he would be overcome with grief.
He hadn’t expected this level of calm.
However, the more indifferent Xiao Biehe appeared, the more it pained Lu Guanyan to watch. He was like a precious jade porcelain piece kept in a box; it had been dropped, and while the exterior looked fine, the inside was already shattered.
Lu Guanyan released the beauty’s hand. The evening’s medicine was ready. He stood up to fetch it and, as if throwing a silent tantrum, handed over the medicinal spoon without a word.
Xiao Biehe wanted to drink it himself. He tried to lift his hand, only to find he lacked the strength and had to give up. He allowed the spoon to part his lips, letting the other man feed him the medicine.
“I’m sorry.”
Xiao Biehe was quiet and compliant as he took the medicine. Lu Guanyan was incredibly careful; not a single drop was spilled. Once he finished, Lu Guanyan went to put the bowl away.
“Thank you,” Xiao Biehe added.
Lu Guanyan’s step faltered for a fraction of a second before he regained his composure. The nameless fire of anger and anxiety in his chest died down. He only hated himself for listening to the man that night; he should have ignored Xiao Biehe’s wishes and taken him away immediately.
After putting the bowl down, Lu Guanyan turned back with a defiant flair. “Why didn’t you kill me that night? If you had killed me, you wouldn’t have been punished like this. You might have even been credited with a great achievement!”
Despite the harsh words, Lu Guanyan remained standing a short distance away, his eyes honestly fixed on Xiao Biehe’s face, unable to stop himself from fantasizing about that sliver of impossible hope.
Xiao Biehe’s physical state was severely overtaxed. Although awake, even speaking was a struggle. In a weak, soft voice, he forced out, “You saved my life. I will not cause you trouble.”
Not cause him trouble?
Lu Guanyan had entertained the delusion that Xiao Biehe might have developed a slight, different kind of feeling for him.
Of course. How could he?
He was a despicable, malicious villain who had to hide in the shadows for a lifetime. How did he dare to dream? Every touch between him and Xiao Biehe had been forced. He had coerced the man. Xiao Biehe should find him disgusting; he should want to cut him into a thousand pieces.
But Xiao Biehe was a “gentleman.” Because he had happened to save Xiao Biehe’s life, he was essentially “blackmailing” him. This gentleman, with his high moral standards, could not bring himself to kill his savior, allowing the villain to become even more brazen in doing as he pleased with the beauty.
Lu Guanyan let out a cold, self-deprecating laugh. “I only saved you so I could sleep with you. Once your wounds heal, I will have you.”
“You can do it now,” Xiao Biehe said. “You don’t have to wait.”
Xiao Biehe’s voice was very light, devoid of both anger and strength. Because of the fever and the recent medicine, his face wasn’t deathly pale but carried a slight, faint flush.
Lu Guanyan had expected Xiao Biehe to be shamed or angry, to curse him, or at least to frown in silence. Hearing those words, he was stunned. Then, he shamefully realized that he actually felt a surge of impulse at the suggestion.
The beauty was seriously injured and sick, having just woken up. He had no strength to resist. But if he actually, did it, there was a high chance Xiao Biehe would never wake up again.
Lu Guanyan still possessed a shred of logic. Ever since he first saw Xiao Biehe, he had harbored this thought, but he had held back every time. He used his sleeve to cover himself as an act of cover-up and walked back toward the bed.
He knelt on one knee and caught Xiao Biehe’s fingers as they rested by the side of the bed. He let out a half-smile, revealing his two distinct, sharp fangs.
“Are you serious?” Lu Guanyan asked, annoyed.
“Yes,” Xiao Biehe whispered.
“If I did that, you would die. You’d be defiled by me right before you died. Are you truly willing?”
Xiao Biehe didn’t argue. He exerted the effort to look up into the youth’s eyes. With a breath like a silk thread, he said softly, “Didn’t you say we were enemies? Whether I live or die shouldn’t matter to you.”
Lu Guanyan was truly angered this time, yet his fire had nowhere to go. He clamped his mouth shut until his lips bled.
How could it not matter?
It matters most of all.
Lu Guanyan had come to Liang specifically for him. Without him, Lu Guanyan wouldn’t be here at all. Without Xiao Biehe, Lu Guanyan wouldn’t have survived until now.
His life was wanted by every nation in the world. A man labeled a “madman” by everyone was not someone who valued his own life. Without Xiao Biehe, Lu Guanyan would have died long ago. Perhaps he would have died ten years ago at the bottom of a cliff, serving as dinner for wild beasts.
The “Beauty Brother” might not remember, but Lu Guanyan would never forget.
Yet Lu Guanyan realized he had repaid kindness with enmity. Xiao Biehe had saved him, giving him the will to live all these years, but his only desire was to sleep with him. His very reason for living was to one day possess him.
Lu Guanyan recalled when he had ever mentioned “hate.” He remembered the day the beauty was surrounded by beggars and realized Xiao Biehe had heard him then and remembered it until now.
If I had known, I wouldn’t have said it.
Lu Guanyan’s reason returned slightly. Realizing his emotions had been too extreme, he instinctively looked at Xiao Biehe. Fortunately, the beauty didn’t seem frightened by his behavior.
He released the man’s hand and wiped the blood from his bitten lip with his sleeve. He leaned down toward Xiao Biehe, a flash of panic and guilt visible in his blue eyes, and pressed his lips to Xiao Biehe’s.
This time, there was no lingering or pillaging. It was light, stopping only for a brief moment before he pulled away.
Xiao Biehe’s body was feverish, and his lips were warm and pinker than usual.
For a time, they sat in silence. Lu Guanyan didn’t know if the beauty was panicked or annoyed. Having said so much to the person he cared about most, Lu Guanyan was the one panicking now. He felt a wave of guilt when he looked into Xiao Biehe’s clean, clear eyes.
Luckily, he doesn’t remember me, Lu Guanyan thought. That way, he won’t know how ungrateful I am.
Xiao Biehe’s expression was calm after the kiss. Or rather, his body was too weak to produce a reaction. His pale pink lips remained slightly parted, and he didn’t even have the strength to lift his eyelids.
After a while, the beautiful lips moved. He whispered, “I’m tired. I want to sleep a bit longer.”
His clear eyes remained fixed on the youth’s face. After speaking, he slowly closed them, and the image of the youth was gradually covered by darkness.
Xiao Biehe was truly exhausted, and his body was in agony. At this moment, he only wanted to greedily cling to this bit of warmth, pushing everything else relevant or not to the back of his mind.
Lu Guanyan’s pupils shrank. He knelt by the bed and shook Xiao Biehe’s shoulder. “Brother! Xiao Biehe! You’re not allowed to sleep! Wake up!”
The person on the bed didn’t respond; his breathing was shallow and even. After the panic passed, Lu Guanyan realized he was likely just too tired and needed rest. He let go.
“Don’t sleep too long,” Lu Guanyan murmured to himself. “Brother, tomorrow morning, you must wake up.”
Outside the inn, the world was in an uproar. The Emperor had issued a nationwide warrant for two people: Lu Guanyan and Xiao Biehe.
The Great General, the Lady of the Estate, the second and third sons, and the entire household of relatives and servants had all been imprisoned because the Young General had disappeared after colluding with the enemy. The city was filled with scandalous gossip.
The Morning of the Fourth Day
Xiao Biehe’s consciousness was less clouded. Waking from the pain, he saw Lu Guanyan kneeling at the head of the bed, one hand propping up his head as he slept.
Xiao Biehe found it somewhat funny. Someone was actually kneeling before him voluntarily. And this wasn’t the first time he had seen it. Usually, throughout his life, the one kneeling had been him.
Xiao Biehe lifted his hand and touched the back of the sleeping youth’s hand.
Lu Guanyan snapped his eyes open immediately. Seeing it was Xiao Biehe, his dark, defensive expression instantly turned to joy. He caught the hand before Xiao Biehe could withdraw it. “Brother, you’re awake! That’s wonderful! What do you need me for?”
Xiao Biehe’s clear eyes moved slightly. “Come up onto the bed and sleep.”
Lu Guanyan was overwhelmed by the unexpected favor. He had never imagined it and didn’t dare to. He shook his head. “No, this bed is yours. I won’t take your space.”
Knowing that Lu Guanyan likely wouldn’t want to leave the room, Xiao Biehe said, “It’s all right. Come up and sleep together.”
Lu Guanyan was still dazed, as if this wasn’t real. “Really?”
“Yes.”
With a heart full of surprise and trepidation, Lu Guanyan carefully climbed onto the bed. He found an empty spot and lay down cautiously, tucking in his hands and feet, not daring to overstep.
He was so nervous his breathing grew heavy. He began to envy the beauty’s ability to remain calm; he couldn’t be calm at all. It felt as though he wasn’t lying on a bed, but in the middle of a battlefield with ten thousand horses and a forest of blades charging past his ears.
Or perhaps… it was a sea of molten lava, and he was about to be melted.
Then he started worrying if he smelled bad. He had bathed, but he had bled a little since then. His blood was surely foul-smelling; Xiao Biehe would despise him…
As if the bed were scorching, Lu Guanyan rolled onto the floor. He scrambled up. “I won’t sleep. It’s light out; I’ll go get Brother something to eat.”
Xiao Biehe watched the youth flee and felt like laughing, though his heart felt complicated.
After the boy left, Xiao Biehe tried to sit up. Though he had enough strength to move his fingers, sitting was still a struggle. He tried for a while without success.
It was only then that he truly took stock of himself. He was covered in the scent of fragrant, bitter medicine, and his clothes had been changed for new ones. He thought to himself that his body must look terrible right now.
A while later, the youth returned with sweet porridge and other light, easy-to-digest foods almost all of them sweet. Lu Guanyan placed the food on a small table near the bed and helped Xiao Biehe sit up. “Brother, eat something. Your mouth must be bitter from the illness; eating something sweet will make you feel better.”
“Mm.” Xiao Biehe gave a very faint smile, eating whatever Lu Guanyan fed him.
It did seem to make him feel better. He couldn’t remember the last time he had experienced such a peaceful moment; it felt as though he never had since he could remember. He vaguely recalled a wet nurse who treated him well before he was four; she often bought him candy. After she passed, no one in the General’s Estate had cared for him until he gained fame in the military. Then, the servants’ looks changed, but they remained distant—moving from contempt to a sort of fear.
Once he had eaten his fill, the sensation of satiety seemed to ward off the pain. Having slept enough, he leaned against the head of the bed.
Lu Guanyan tucked the blanket around his waist and prepared a new book to keep him from being bored. Xiao Biehe looked at the title in his hand, Records of the Demonic, and asked, “Why isn’t it the kind of storybook about me and you anymore?”
Lu Guanyan’s heart skipped a beat, then began to thud wildly.
Why has Brother been so different these last two days?