"Elves."
"No way you’re this desperate." Tim’s voice came through the headset.
"You asked me. So yeah, I’d go find myself an elf and lay some pipe."
There was silence on Tim’s end for a moment.
"That tells me two things. First, you have a fetish. Second, you’re a virgin."
"Virgin?" Rafael laughed. "I’m not a fucking virgin. They’re just sexy as fuck."
"What do you mean you’re not a virgin?" Tim asked immediately. "Who the fuck let you fuck them with that dying dick of yours?"
Rafael burst out laughing. "Man, you’re a fucking retard." He shook his head, smiling. "Don’t you feel bad for me at all?"
"Should I? You’ve been making cancer jokes for the past hour."
"Yeah, but I’m the one with cancer, dumbass. And why the fuck are you so interested in my sex life?"
"Isn’t that what friends talk about? Who they’ve slept with and all that? More so, you’re going to fucking die, so tell me."
For a few seconds, Rafael remained silent, remembering that moment.
"It was back in the military. There was a girl called—"
"Oh, I have to go." Tim cut him off. "They just posted the new Ancient Boss on the devblog. I want to take a look."
Rafael shook his head with a smile. "Man, you truly are a good friend, huh? Leaving me behind for a boss you’ll never even come close to seeing in the game."
"That’s true, but also, this time it’s different. Apparently, they’ve made some rather unusual design choices."
"Like what?"
"She’s a human woman. No tentacles, no demon features, nothing like that. Just a normal-looking woman."
"Okay? What’s so unusual about that?"
"Well..." Tim paused for a moment. "She’s got some really big titties and a big booty, too. I’m talking really thick. Like, thick thighs, big tits, big ass. The whole package."
Rafael went silent for a second. "...And you called me down bad?"
"I’m just describing what she looks like."
"Describing? Motherfucker, you sound like you’re reviewing a pornstar."
Tim laughed. "But I’m serious. It’s a rather strange design for an Ancient Boss, don’t you think? And apparently, her introduction also brings some interesting new elements to the game."
"Oh, I’m sure that’s what you’re interested in. The new elements."
They both laughed.
"Anyway, what’s her name? The Ancient Boss," Rafael finally asked.
"Her name is—"
[Selena, The Queen of Ashes]
[Level: ???]
"Are you awake?"
[An Ancient Boss Has Appeared.]
"Can you hear me?"
Shit, Rafael could hear her... and her voice was the sweetest thing imaginable, soft, seductive, and so overly sexualized that even the simplest words sounded like she was trying to turn him on.
And that wasn’t even mentioning her beautiful ash-grey eyes staring into his, contrasting with her pale skin, bright red lips, and gorgeous face... so much so that, for a moment, Rafael completely forgot who she was.
The third fucking Ancient Boss.
And waking up in an unfamiliar bed certainly wasn’t helping.
So he tried to move... or at least wanted to.
But he couldn’t.
Those two fucking melons pressing against his right arm were so heavy that he couldn’t even move his upper body.
"Oh, don’t be in such a hurry, darling. You’re safe here." She smiled as her hand slowly reached up to Rafael’s face. "You poor thing... cursed to suffer for eternity. But don’t worry. We are not going to hurt you again."
"What...?" Rafael managed to mutter.
"Yes... well, Azh did accidentally take your life, but apart from that little accident, there’s absolutely nothing to worry about."
Rafael didn’t even want to ask anything about it because he knew it was the curse that the masked bitch had placed on him. But he needed to make use of the situation.
An Ancient Boss who was a woman and could actually talk normally.
"...Can you move a little?" Rafael asked.
"Oh?" Selena tilted her head.
"My arm..."
She glanced down, finally noticing that her enormous breasts were pressing against his right arm.
"Oh, goodness. I’m terribly sorry, darling." She leaned back slightly, freeing his arm.
The moment his arm was free, he immediately sat up and looked around.
It was an enormous room, with golden decorations covering the walls, beautiful curtains hanging beside tall windows, and a bed so ridiculously large that it barely looked like something meant for humans.
"...Where am I?"
"In my palace, darling."
"Your palace...?"
"Yes." Selena smiled. "I thought you deserved somewhere comfortable after everything you’ve been through."
"Why are you helping me?"
"Because you’re suffering, darling." Her hand gently rested against his cheek again. "And I particularly enjoy seeing someone suffer."
"E-enjoy?"
"There’s something rather beautiful about suffering, don’t you think?"
Rafael didn’t answer. He just looked at her, trying to understand whether he’d heard that correctly.
But she just kept smiling, as if she’d said something perfectly normal, until she grabbed Rafael’s hand and, with one effortless pull, brought him straight to his feet.
"Let’s take a walk, shall we?"
Still holding his hand, she intertwined her fingers with his and began leading him out of the bedroom.
"Come along, darling."
Rafael barely had time to react before he found himself walking beside her, leaving the enormous room behind.
And only then did he begin to realize just how ridiculously grand this place was.
It was truly a palace, with white marble covering almost everything, enormous golden pillars stretching toward the ceiling, and gold decorations practically everywhere he looked.
It can’t be a dungeon... it’s just too fucking enormous, he thought as he kept looking around. Then he felt Selena gently squeeze his hand.
"Let me show you something."
She led him through hallways and up the stairs until they reached a huge balcony, where Rafael’s breathing fucking stopped.
In front of them stretched vast lands, greenery, distant mountains, and clouds... but more importantly...
"...Are we floating?"
"Mhm."
It was truly breathtaking, just floating in the sky while surrounded by a view that was almost impossible to explain.
But at least it told him that none of it was a hallucination... it was all fucking real.
The Ancient One who spoke like some street guy, the other who spoke in an ominous, grand manner, and now the third.
A thirst-trap Ancient One.
It all pointed to one possible outcome.
Maybe... this is it, Rafael thought as he grabbed the railing. I’m truly the main character. I’m here with the endgame bosses, talking to them... I can gain power nobody else can... train like nobody else. This is my training arc.
He felt the breeze hit his face.
I’ll level up and kill that masked bitch in the name of revenge.
"Selena, I am—"
She was frozen in place.
Her hand was still holding his, her beautiful smile frozen on her face.
And then he noticed something else. The breeze had stopped. The clouds in the distance weren’t moving either.
Everything had gone completely still.
"Hey, Rafael. Nice to see you again."
"No..."
It was him.
That blurred-faced motherfucker with wings.
"Please... don’t—"
"I’m sorry, Rafael. From the bottom of my heart."
Something was wrong.
This smug-faced motherfucker was actually bowing his head... apologizing... to him.
"We realized it too late," he continued, slowly raising his head. "You’ve been here for six days."
"...So?"
"Unfortunately, time doesn’t flow the same way here as it does in the outside world."
"What d-do you mean?"
"I’m truly sorry, Rafael, but..." The figure hesitated for a moment before finally looking him in the eyes. "Ten years, Rafael. Ten years have passed."