“To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else—means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” — e.e.
cummings Riven never understood what family was really like.
He knew the literal meaning: a group of people connected by blood.
Parents, siblings, relatives.
People who loved and supported you.
But sadly, knowing something and experiencing it were very different.
Riven had grown up in an orphanage.
He had no memories of his parents.
He had been there his whole life.
He didn’t have memories of a mother laughing or a father teaching him to catch.
There were no family photos, and no one he remembered telling him they had changed his diaper when he was a baby.
He only knew the other children and the nuns who looked after him.
The kids came and went.
The loudest usually got the most attention.
The children who were cute got adopted.
The children who were friendly made friends.
Everyone else?
They managed on their own.
Riven was one of them.
When he was hungry, he waited patiently for food.
When he fell, he got back up.
And when something got taken from him, he took it back.
And when he was scared, he learned no one would come to help him.
This was simply how the world worked, or at least that’s what he believed.
Years later, Riven had grown into an unremarkable young man.
He had a few friends at school, decent grades, and a part time job.
He wasn’t particularly social.
But he wasn’t cruel either.
He just believed everyone had their own problems, so why get involved?
Everyone had their own responsibilities.
Just as he had his own.
That evening was no different.
He was on his way home from his shift at his part time job.
The train was crowded.
He stood in the corner with his hand wrapped around the metal pole.
He was exhausted.
His back and feet hurt.
Then.
BANG!
The train lurched violently, throwing him onto the ground.
Riven’s eyes snapped open.
Someone screamed.
Then another.
Smoke began pouring into the carriage.
For a moment, no one moved.
It was almost like the world forgot to breathe.
All at once, the panic set in.
“FIRE!” “MOVE!” “OPEN THE DOOR!” The crowd surged towards the exits, barreling over each other.
Riven felt his shoulder get slammed against the wall in the chaos.
Everyone was trying to escape.
Their self preservation instincts kicked in.
No one cared who they shoved aside as long as it got them closer to the exit.
Riven tried to keep his balance as he was getting pushed around.
His eyes burned.
His throat tightened with smoke.
He heard people coughing.
Crying.
Screaming.
The smell of smoke filled his lungs.
He started to join in on the madness, making his way towards the exit.
Then he heard it.
A child crying.
Riven stopped.
He looked around.
There.
At the opposite side of the carriage, a little boy was sitting on the floor.
He was maybe six years old.
His small face, darkened by the smoke, was covered in sweat and tears.
“Mom…” His voice barely carried in all the chaos.
“Mommy!” Riven stared at the boy.
People ran past him.
No one stopped.
And for a moment, Riven didn’t either.
He looked toward the exit.
Then back at the boy.
‘Someone else will help him.’ That was the first thought that entered his mind.
There were dozens of people here.
Someone would notice him.
Someone had to.
Riven turned away.
He took one step.
Then another.
His hand tightened around the strap of his bag.
It’s not my problem.
He had lived his entire life that way.
Don’t depend on people.
Don’t expect anyone to help you.
Take care of yourself.
Survive.
But then he heard the boy cry again.
“Mommy…” Riven stopped.
Something about that voice felt familiar.
Not because he knew the child.
Because he knew what it meant to be alone.
He remembered being a little boy himself.
Sitting on a bed in the orphanage.
Listening to the other children talk about their parents.
Watching them leave with families.
Waiting.
Always waiting.
He remembered wondering what it would feel like for someone to come looking for him.
Nobody ever had.
Riven looked back at the boy.
The child was trembling.
And suddenly, Riven hated the thought of leaving him there.
“Dammit.” He turned around.
He pushed through the crowd.
“Hey!” The boy looked up.
Riven crouched in front of him.
“Where are your parents?” The boy tried to answer, but he was crying too hard.
“I-I don’t know…” “Okay.” Riven glanced toward the exit.
Smoke was getting thicker.
“We’ll find them.” He reached down.
“Come here.” The boy hesitated.
Then wrapped his arms around Riven’s neck.
Riven lifted him.
The child was surprisingly light.
Riven held him tightly against his chest and started moving.
“Hold on.” The crowd was still pushing toward the exit.
Riven had to fight against the flow.
Someone slammed into his shoulder.
“Move!” “There’s a kid!” He shouted.
Nobody cared.
Riven gritted his teeth and kept going.
The smoke grew thicker.
His eyes watered.
His lungs hurt with every breath.
But he kept moving.
“Don’t let go,” he told the boy.
“I won’t.” Riven almost laughed.
The kid sounded terrified.
Yet somehow, he still trusted him.
That trust felt strange.
Heavy.
Important.
He’d never felt this way before.
Riven finally reached the exit.
Cooler air hit his face.
He stepped onto the platform with the boy still in his arms.
Then he heard someone screaming.
“My son!” Riven turned.
A woman was frantically looking through the crowd.
Beside her, a man was shouting the boy’s name.
The second the boy heard his mother’s voice, he started crying again.
“Mom!” The woman froze.
Then she ran.
Riven lowered the boy to the ground.
The child immediately sprinted into his mother’s arms.
She dropped to her knees and hugged him tightly.
“My baby…” She was crying.
The father wrapped his arms around both of them.
For a moment, Riven simply stood there.
Watching.
The family held each other as though they were afraid one of them might disappear again.
Riven felt something strange in his chest.
Something warm.
Something he wasn’t used to.
He smiled faintly.
So that’s what it looks like.
A family.
Together.
Safe.
For some reason, that was enough.
“Thank you!” Riven looked toward the father.
The man was staring at him with tears in his eyes.
“Thank you for saving my son.” Riven scratched the back of his head.
“It’s nothing.” It wasn’t nothing.
But Riven didn’t know what else to say.
The family began moving away from the train.
Riven watched them go.
The boy turned around and waved.
Riven raised a hand.
Then.
Someone shoved past him.
“Watch it!” Riven stumbled.
His foot caught on something.
A bag.
He looked down.
‘Huh?’ His balance was already gone.
Riven fell backward.
His head struck the ground.
For a brief moment, everything became strangely quiet.
The only sound he heard was his own heartbeat hammering like a drum.
Then.
A wave of people rushed past him.
Someone stepped on his arm.
Another foot struck his ribs.
Riven tried to move.
He couldn’t.
“Wait…” Another person fell.
Then another.
The crowd kept pushing.
Panic had turned people into a stampede.
Riven tried to crawl away.
His vision blurred.
His body wouldn’t respond.
He could hear screaming.
He could hear people shouting for help.
But no one stopped.
No one saw him.
Or perhaps they simply couldn’t.
Riven felt another impact.
Pain shot through his body.
His breathing became shallow.
His vision slowly darkened.
‘So this is it…’ He couldn’t feel much anymore.
Strangely, he wasn’t angry.
He wasn’t even afraid.
His eyes searched through the crowd.
And then he saw them.
The family.
The little boy was holding his mother’s hand.
His father was beside them.
They were moving away from the burning train.
They were safe.
The boy looked back one last time.
Riven couldn’t tell whether he could still see him.
He smiled anyway.
‘Good.’ His eyes slowly closed.
At least someone made it home.
At least that child wouldn’t have to experience what Riven had.
He had spent his entire life believing that nobody would ever save him.
Maybe that was true.
But in the end…
He had become the person he had always wished would come for him.
Riven’s final thought was strangely peaceful.
‘I wonder what it feels like…’ ‘To have someone waiting for you.’ Then everything went black.
A/N: This is my first novel, and I literally have no experience writing, so I hope everyone enjoys it.
I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors.
I’d love to hear any sort of feedback for this novel, whether it’s praise or criticism.