A pet name?
Su Yu was utterly dumbfounded by the question. What wrong had she committed to deserve such a blazingly direct question?
A light rain dampened their clothes. Unnerved by her sudden inability to find words, the dandyish young master raised a hand, playfully itching to pinch the young girl’s tender, delicate cheek in retaliation. But halfway up, her sleeping conscience reawaken with a start. Su Yu felt a lump in her throat: See, another straight shot.
At this moment, she even began to entertain the pessimistic thought that one day, far off in the future, she would be completely knocked out cold by this girl’s relentless bluntness.
“Ayu?”
“Mm, I’m here.” Su Yu suddenly felt her throat go dry and cleared it. “Why are you calling for me?”
The young girl pursed her lips, sounding uncertain. “Were you spacing out just now, Ayu?”
“Spacing out?” Su Yu repeated, nodding a beat late. “Oh, yeah. Guess I’m just exhausted. My brain’s mush, can barely get it to work.” Realizing she had just hit upon the ultimate excuse to play dumb, she added, “Lingmiao, I’m tired.”
“If you’re tired, don’t overthink it. Just rest well when we get back.” Lingmiao had been raised on the teachings of devotion to a single partner for life. Had her eyes been able to see, she might have done everything in her power to spoil this formidable female dandy to the high heavens.
Even now, seeing her fiancée complain of fatigue right in front of her, she was deeply attentive. Yet, held in Su Yu’s arms atop a horse, she couldn’t turn around to offer an affectionate embrace. Guilt crept up on her, knitting her brows tight. “Was my question too profound? Did it stump you, Ayu?”
The girl was pure, spotless, completely untouched by the worldly grime, offering her fiancée her utmost trust and sincerity. Facing such purity, how could Su Yu have the audacity to keep harping on the topic?
“Lingmiao, my hand hurts. Could you rub it for me?”
“Your hand hurts? Which one?” Anxious, she straightened her back and tried to shift, but Su Yu held her down by the shoulders.
“This one. This hand.”
Guilt kept Su Yu from looking the girl straight in the face to meet that gaze of frantic concern. Yet, she couldn’t help but feel a tingling warmth spread through her heart, stirred by the girl’s overwhelming care. This feeling of being cherished was strangely wonderful—it felt, it felt as if she were the girl’s entire world, the grand sights of the mortal realm that the sightless girl yearned for, day and night.
“How could it hurt? How long has it been hurting?” Xue Lingmiao hated that she was blind. If only she could see a single sliver of light, she wouldn’t have to trace every inch with her fingertips just to know if her fiancée was safe and sound.
For a moment, she couldn’t hide her despondency. “Ayu, why aren’t you speaking? Tell me where it hurts—do I really have to keep asking?”
An offhand lie had gotten the poor girl worried sick, and the silence just now had plunged her into gloom. When Su Yu finally spoke, she nearly bit her tongue: “M-maybe it was pinched by the reins? Just, just rub it casually, that’ll do. Don’t ask anymore, my, my head hurts now.”
Hoping to spare her a headache, Lingmiao suppressed the endless doubts in her mind and gently massaged Su Yu’s knuckles.
As the spring rain dripped steadily on, dampening her strands of hair, a realization suddenly struck her: Ayu was teasing her again.
A sour ache rose in her heart, and her eyes slowly turned red. She let go of Su Yu’s hand and uttered not a word.
Thinking the girl was tired, Su Yu pulled up at the entrance to their home and carried her down from the horse.
At the sound of horse hooves, A-Zhi came out from the courtyard to greet them. The moment she reached the gate, she saw the soft-looking girl cradled in Su Yu’s arms, her head tilted as she bit down—fierce as a tiny kitten—on the side of Su Yu’s neck.
Overwhelmed by the dense floral scent drifting near her, Su Yu felt entirely enchanted. At first, it just felt like a soft lick against her neck, followed by a faint prickle of pain. Unable to figure out how she had offended her, logic dictated that she should throw the girl off and watch her crash heavily to the ground.
The sudden mental image startled Su Yu: When did I become so vicious? How could I treat a blind girl the way I handle Yun Que?
She convinced herself to treat it as a bite from a tiny kitten. The thought even made her burst into a chuckle. “Had your fill yet?”
A faint, itchy sting tingled where she had been bitten. The bold little girl finally let go. Su Yu touched the faint ring of teeth marks, her eyes narrowing lazily. “Hey, you eat my food and drink my tea, and this is how you treat me?”
Driven by a sudden impulse to bite her, the girl stiffened after the deed was done. Whether out of bashfulness or fear, she began to struggle to get down from Su Yu’s arms. Afraid she might fall, Su Yu handed her over to A-Zhi.
Dusk fell. After dinner, A-Zhi presented a brocade box to her.
When the box was opened under the candlelight, a stack of silver bank notes—accepted nationwide by the Jinye Money House—lay quietly inside. There were at least thirty-five or thirty-six of them, each valued at five hundred taels.
Estimating the total, Su Yu could no longer keep her cool. “This?”
A-Zhi replied with utmost respect: “The mistress ordered me to withdraw these from the bank yesterday to hand over to you. If it’s not enough, she said there’s more.”
Su Yu fell silent.
What is this little girl up to all of a sudden? Is she trying to coax me, or just flex her wealth?
Her lips curled into a smile. She thought to herself that the girl was still an impressionable child after all. Closing the brocade box, she slung her hands into her sleeves and casually strolled out the door with a breeze in her step.
Flickering candlelight illuminated the newly refurbished bedroom. Every teacup, every stool had been carefully restored to match the layout of her former room at the Xue Estate. Following Su Yu’s instructions, the edges of all the furniture had been rounded off smoothed, and wrapped attentively with soft cloth.
Dressed in her nightgown, the young girl sat at the table deep in thought, reflecting on whether she had been overly anxious about her fiancée. Was that why she felt so flustered, embarrassed, bitter, and glum after realizing she had been teased?
Ayu wasn’t her father. Ayu was young, spirited, and full of life; she wouldn’t suddenly vanish, wouldn’t pass away before the morning dew evaporated, wouldn’t leave her to cry in despair amidst a haze of unknown fear.
Ayu would live a long life. She would speak, laugh, play, make trouble, and grant her a complete sense of security.
Just like when she held her on horseback, when they walked hand-in-hand down the street, shared meals during the day, occasionally bantered, or when she stayed next door at night—ready to rush over at the slightest call.
She was as good as could be. Fierce as a lion, swift as a leopard, agile as a fish, she had silently lit a candle inside her heart.
Ayu was wonderful, but Ayu was also insufferable—insufferable in the way her dazzling light exposed how humble and pitiful she herself was. Her teasing felt like the quills of a baby porcupine: somewhat soft, but quills nonetheless.
Fragile at heart, the girl blinked her eyelashes mournfully and petulantly tossed a string of jade beads aside.
May Heaven show mercy and let Ayu care for me in her heart. Only then will my journey not be in vain; only then will I dare to hope for a lifetime together, and dare to crave the companionship of such a person in my life.
Ayu was the wife she had summoned all her courage to travel so far to find. Besides her, she had no family, no friends, and no branch to lean on in this world.
The moon hung like a crescent, and the blue stone steps of the small courtyard were blanketed in moisture.
Su Yu knocked thrice on the door. Receiving no answer, she raised her voice in warning, “Lingmiao, what are you doing? I’m coming in.”
Pushing open the bedroom door, she found the young girl sitting upright at the table, staring blankly ahead, completely lost in thought. A total waste of worry.
Smiling, Su Yu drifted over to her. Reaching her long arm across the tea table, she hooked her finger under the girl’s pointed chin. “A-Miao, where are your manners? Not even a greeting?”
Having grown accustomed to her scent over their days of intimacy, Lingmiao snapped back to reality as if afraid her inner thoughts had been exposed. Her small face instantly flushed red with embarrassment. “Ah, it-it’s you, Ayu. Why are you here?”
“Came to check on you.” Seeing her blush so deeply she looked ready to dig a hole and hide in it, Su Yu stifled a laugh. “To see what’s going on inside the brain of this little cat who dares to throw money at people.”
“Nothing! I, I wasn’t thinking about anything!”
“Oh? So you weren’t thinking about providing for me either?”
“No—” Her hand paused mid-air as she tried to gesture. “Huh?”
Irritated, Su Yu flicked her forehead with a bent finger.
“Ouch, that hurts.”
When a delicate, breathtaking girl cries out in pain, even the most reckless playboy couldn’t keep a cold heart.
Familiar with the space, Su Yu sat at the table and poured a cup of tea. Finding the temperature just right, she took a pleasant sip, only to notice the string of jade beads she had given away lying alone beside the teapot.
She laughed softly. “A-Miao, I’m very easy to please. Why don’t you think it over again?”
“Think what over?” Quick-witted and sensitive, a flash of insight struck the girl. “Providing for you? There’s no need to think about that.”
“Quite bold, aren’t we?”
The candlelight reflected off the girl’s porcelain-white face. Su Yu clicked her tongue in wonder; if not for her blindness, she truly was a beauty blessed by the heavens, inheriting a third of all the elegance in the mortal realm.
If she could only look at me just once.
Su Yu’s heart began to thud uncontrollably.
Blinded by beauty. She scolded herself inwardly, tilting her head back to gulp down half a cup of tea.
Lingmiao listened intently, her right hand gently stroking Su Yu’s back. “Take it easy, don’t rush. It’s bad if you choke.”
Coaxed to the point of almost forgetting her original purpose, Su Yu straightened her expression, trying to reject the girl’s intimate tenderness. “Alright, it’s just a cup of tea.”
“Mm.” Though she agreed verbally, her hand didn’t pull back from her fiancée’s back, slowly stroking Su Yu’s loose, long hair. She asked unabashedly, “Is providing for you really such a big deal? Why call me bold?”
If what Su Yu said earlier was mere banter, being taken care of by a blind girl was something she truly couldn’t accept. Setting aside the fact that she was being flirted with, Su Yu felt it necessary to make the girl see what kind of person she really was.
A carefree, indifferent expression covered her face. “Is there anyone in this border town who doesn’t know that the daughter of the Su family spent three short years squandering her family’s entire fortune on fun? You want to provide for me? Do you have mountains of gold or silver? What are you going to support me with?”
“You mean money? I don’t lack money. I provide for you, and you take care of me—isn’t that only natural?”
“Don’t spout nonsense! What do you mean ‘only natural’?”
“Arranged by our parents and proven by our marriage contract, how is it nonsense? Or do you only want to accept Miss Ning’s kindness?”
“What?” Su Yu was utterly bewildered. “What does this have to do with A-Xi?”
Having learned to feel jealous without any formal training, the little girl pressed her point with righteous confidence, mixed with a hint of subtle probing: “Given your relationship with Ning Xi, you don’t even need to thank her. Isn’t our relationship even deeper than childhood sweethearts?”
She actually makes a lot of sense.
Following the girl’s logic, Su Yu fell silent.
Seeing her fall quiet, a touch of joy lit up the corners of Lingmiao’s brows. “So you can spend my money as you please. Once it’s gone, we can just earn more.”
Su Yu felt awkwardly conflicted inside. She had only been joking; she didn’t actually want to be a freeloader! She glanced at the girl, unsure whether to marvel at her innocence or pity her gullibility.
She asked, “What if I were a bad person?”
“My intuition tells me you’ll treat me very well, and you’re not a bad person.”
The legendary playboy who excelled at seeking pleasure throughout the border town was suddenly defeated by her simplicity. “Intuition? Can’t intuition be wrong?”
“If you were a bad person, if my intuition were wrong.” The girl tightly gripped her fiancée’s hand resting on the table, her voice turning thick and quiet. “Then, then the only thing left for me would be a dead end.”
Why make things hard for a child?
Feeling the chill radiating from her fingertips, a secret tremor rippled through Su Yu’s heart. To think that someone would willingly place her life in her hands. Looking at the girl’s delicate, fragile frame, she asked, “As long as there’s a marriage contract, you’d be willing to give yourself to just anyone?”
After a long silence, Lingmiao slowly raised her eyes, her face blushing before she even spoke: “No, that’s not it. A marriage contract is inherently a gamble where the stakes are life and death. If I’m unwilling, no one can force me. Ayu, I have my own preferences too. You, I like you very much.”