Shen Xiu acted as if she had not noticed Lin Guanqing’s embarrassment.
Pushed back with such force, her body slammed heavily against Lin Guanqing’s chest due to momentum. An unknown weapon hanging at his waist jabbed hard into her abdomen, sending a sharp pain through her waist.
Shen Xiu frowned slightly, trying to stand up, pressing her hands almost instinctively against his waist to push herself back up.
Those hands were entirely different from the hands of someone who practiced martial arts year-round. They were not hardened, but soft and devoid of strength.
With slender fingertips and soft palms, Lin Guanqing could feel the touch of those hands resting against his waist right through a layer of fabric.
As the base of her palms pressed into the soft flesh of his waist, her fingers subconsciously curled and tightened, grasping his flesh by reflex.
This caused Lin Guanqing’s body to tense up for a brief moment, making him acutely aware of a sense of awkwardness that heated the tips of his ears and made him instinctively want to pull away from her touch.
Yet, despite his intense reaction, Shen Xiu moved quickly to get up. The moment she steadied herself, she stepped right back out of Lin Guanqing’s embrace.
She moved so fast that Lin Guanqing found it somewhat strange, a fleeting sense of oddity flashing through his mind as if she were even more eager than he was to avoid any entanglement between them. Still, the thought crossed his mind only for a second, and he did not dwell on it.
Once she stepped back, Shen Xiu kept her gaze fixed entirely on Feng Chengan. With all her attention focused on him, she remained completely unaware of Lin Guanqing’s discomfort and had no inkling of his thoughts.
Watching Feng Chengan’s expression finally change, yet constrained by her naturally gentle disposition that prevented her from uttering harsh words even when facing such malicious treatment, she spoke up anxiously instead:
“Cheng’an, please return the silver note to Young Master Lin. That belongs to someone else, and you cannot do this. He is the one who saved me, and doing this makes you look like you are repaying kindness with enmity.”
Convinced that the silver note was genuine, Feng Chengan felt his excitement far outweigh his joy, and he no longer wanted to tangle with the two people before him. His mind was consumed by a single thought: escaping this place immediately to purchase the five-grains powder that would cure his cravings.
He was far from stupid and feared lingering too long in such a crowded place where many eyes watched. If someone were to spot their wealth and seize the opportunity to snatch the note when his guard was down, his efforts would all go down the drain.
Relieved and unconcerned with Shen Xiu now, he spared the two of them one final glance. Though a shred of guilt toward Shen Xiu still lingered in his heart, it was instantly replaced by an intense wave of hatred at the thought that the man had been willing to fork out a thousand taels of silver for her.
After all, that was his humiliation! At the same time, he became even more certain that something must have transpired between these two.
Otherwise, why would that man be so generous? Who would spend a thousand pieces of gold so lavishly on an unrelated woman?
Clenching his teeth at the woman before him who had long since lost her purity, a flash of anger crossed Feng Chengan’s eyes. Resenting her infidelity, he raised his hand and flung the marriage contract straight out, turning to say to Lin Guanqing:
“I, Feng Chengan, keep my word. Since the silver note you gave is real, this marriage contract naturally belongs to you. From this day forward, I will no longer pester the two of you.” After all, with a thousand taels of silver in hand, what kind of woman could he not marry?
With those words, Feng Chengan turned and walked away.
Before leaving, he did not even look at Shen Xiu again, carefully tucking those silver notes into the inner layer of his robe before lowering his head, clutching his chest, and darting quickly into the crowd until he vanished.
“Cheng’an.” Seeing this, Shen Xiu wore a worried look and instinctively tried to step forward and give chase, only to be stopped by Lin Guanqing.
Catching her wrist tightly, a wave of inexplicable anger surged within him, mixed with a frustrated sense of exasperation. “Why are you still following a beast like that? Aren’t you afraid he will sell you off again?”
Giving her a heavy tug, he continued, “How can you be so foolish? I thought you had a perceptive mind earlier, but it turns out you are weeping and grieving over a scoundrel like this, almost sacrificing your whole self in the process. It is simply not worth it.”
“It is not like that.” Shen Xiu shook her head with reddened eye rims.
“You.” Speechless with anger, Lin Guanqing could no longer bear to watch her look of sorrowful weeping. “You are truly incorrigible.”
Noticing the surrounding onlookers pointing and whispering, Lin Guanqing felt his face flush red with embarrassment. Seizing her wrist, he dragged her directly back into the manor.
Not letting go until they reached the courtyard where she stayed, Lin Guanqing reprimanded her: “What on earth is there about a man like that worth crying over and missing?”
Unable to fathom it at all, Lin Guanqing had searched up and down Feng Chengan’s character without finding a single redeeming quality. What could such a man possibly possess that made her pine for him?
Shaking her head, Shen Xiu raised her eyes to look at Lin Guanqing, the tips of her nose slightly red while her eyes shimmered with a trace of tears and sorrow.
“It is not like that. He was not like this before. He used to listen to me, take care of me, coax me into smiling, and whenever anyone bullied me, he would always be the first to step forward.”
“Even when he could do nothing and ended up beaten black and blue, he would comfort me right away and say it did not hurt. He said he would marry me. He even said we would live like any ordinary, loving couple and have a daughter as sensible and cute as me.”
“We were going to get married soon.”
As Shen Xiu spoke on, the tears in her eyes grew more numerous instead of fading, dropping one by one down her fair cheeks in a way that left anyone’s heart aching and tight.
“It is the five-grains powder. It was the five-grains powder that ruined him.”
At this point, as if suddenly struck by a thought, Shen Xiu rose to her knees before Lin Guanqing. Looking up at him with a gaze full of desperate pleading like a drowning person grasping at a final straw, she begged, “Young master, I beg you to help me.”
Startled by her sudden action, Lin Guanqing stepped back. “Wait, do not do this. Get up first and we can talk. If I can help, I certainly will, but you do not need to do this.”
Reaching out instinctively to pull her up, Shen Xiu refused to budge. However, his strength far exceeded hers, and with just a slight effort, he hoisted her to her feet.
This proximity revealed to Lin Guanqing how close they were standing. When Shen Xiu stood up and raised her head to look at him, Lin Guanqing instinctively lowered his gaze.
At such close range, he could almost feel the warm, slightly damp breath exhaled from her lips. Realizing how close they were, Lin Guanqing felt a flicker of awkwardness and unbidden heat rise on his face. Turning his face away uncomfortably, just as he intended to step back, Shen Xiu grabbed his arm tightly.
“Young master.”
Looking at him with tear-filled eyes brimming with entreaty, Shen Xiu had eyes for no one else in the world at that moment.
Staring into those eyes, Lin Guanqing missed a heartbeat and froze for a moment, completely forgetting to shake her hand off as he remained tightly held by her.
Seemingly oblivious to all of this, Shen Xiu simply looked up with hopeful eyes. “I beg you, young master, please save him.”
“He only changed his temperament because he took too much of that five-grains powder. There are so many skilled divine doctors and physicians in Biyue Manor, they must be able to help him break that drug habit, right?”
Hearing this, Lin Guanqing snapped out of his momentary trance.
His lips moved, but no words came out. His mind remained somewhat blank as he wondered what was wrong with himself. His attention had somehow drifted entirely to the young woman’s lips, which felt terribly presumptuous, causing him to miss most of what she had just said until now.
Hm, what did she say again?
Five-grains powder, oh right, five-grains powder.
Lin Guanqing felt rather annoyed with himself.
Lowering his gaze to the arm gripped in Shen Xiu’s hands, he offered a defensive, light cough before quickly pulling his arm free and taking a step backward. “About that, it is not that I do not want to help, but five-grains powder has no antidote. Breaking the habit relies entirely on self-control, and external help has very little effect.”
Lin Guanqing had some understanding of five-grains powder because the drug originated from the capital. Rumor had it that many aristocratic young masters enjoyed consuming it to enhance their physical stamina, but the side effects were too severe, leading to an official ban, though it still circulated secretly. Lin Guanqing knew this because the physicians at Biyue Manor had indeed researched it, ultimately forbidding the manor’s disciples from taking it since martial artists rarely relied on drugs for enhancement.
His words amounted to saying nothing, as both of them knew that given Feng Chengan’s character, he lacked the self-control to stop. Furthermore, forcing a withdrawal without the necessary perseverance could potentially prove fatal. Yet the deadlier part was that leaving him unchecked to consume more powder would lead to death just the same. Thus, they were trapped in a dilemma.
Upon hearing this answer, Shen Xiu looked crestfallen and desolate, gazing at Lin Guanqing with sorrowful eyes. “So, is he truly unable to go back to the way he used to be?”
Frowning deeply, Lin Guanqing found it unbearable to see Shen Xiu looking so heartbroken over such a worthless man, even lowering herself to beg for him.
Turning his face away, a stifled frustration colored his tone. “He treated you like that, and you still want to save him? Have all the good men in this world died out? Can you not show some self-respect, forget about him, and find someone else?”
Stunned by his tone, Shen Xiu stared blankly at him for a moment.
Then, as if realizing something, she lowered her head with a look of guilt and apologized:
“I am sorry.”
“I was being too difficult and dragging you down. And the silver, I will find a way to pay you back as soon as possible.” Her tone carried an embarrassed distress, clearly aware of her destitute state and her inability to offer anything in return.
Listening to her speak of repaying the money in such a tone stirred an inexplicable surge of irritation within Lin Guanqing. Gritting his teeth, he raised his head to look straight into her eyes:
“You did nothing wrong and made no mistakes, so why are you apologizing to me? Helping you was my own choice, what dragging down are you talking about? What kind of burden could a fragile, weak woman like you possibly place on me?”
Taking a deep breath, he looked at her earnestly and said, “I said those things just to make you see clearly that a man like that is simply not worth your thoughts! Do not say sorry to me anymore. Do you take me for someone who cares about that bit of silver?”
As the words left his mouth, a tiny pang of regret pricked his heart, that was a thousand taels after all! Lin Guanqing ground his teeth, feeling a deep, burning hatred toward that fellow surnamed Feng.
Yet that momentary pang vanished completely beneath Shen Xiu’s remorseful and flustered gaze.
Staring at him in a daze, Shen Xiu remained silent.
Perhaps his gaze was too direct and intense; after holding his gaze for a moment, Shen Xiu lowered her head once more.
Silent for a short while, she slowly turned around, casting her gaze toward the ancient tree in the courtyard with a look of deep desolation.
She said, “I understand, I understand everything. I know he is not worth my thoughts, but I still cannot let him go.”
Perhaps the overwhelming grief made her unusually talkative today, as she unconsciously babbled about things from the past, including why she ran away with him, how the two of them escaped death, and how they relied on each other for survival.
“There is simply a person like this; you know full well he is bad, unwise, and even capable of hurting you, yet you still cannot let him go in your heart. Perhaps he is the only one left by my side.”
“I have known him since I was very young. My father was cold toward me and my sisters, and back then only he, only he protected me. He treated me very well back then, never making me angry or speaking a harsh word to me. So matters of the heart are sometimes truly beyond human control.”
Shen Xiu grew quiet toward the end.
A moment later, she spoke softly again, “Young master, I think you should understand this feeling.” She was referring to Lin Guanqing’s affection for his senior sister, as he too had once suffered a heavy heart and lost his appetite over her.
Lin Guanqing opened his mouth, wanting to offer a retort, but looking at the desolate, all-is-lost expression in Shen Xiu’s eyes, he fell silent instead, thinking to himself that this feeling indeed felt quite miserable.
Lost in thought as she spoke, Shen Xiu seemed completely immersed in her own reflections.
Her dark hair, slightly scattered by the wind over her shoulders, made her look even more frail.
Only when Shen Xiu spotted the marriage contract clutched in Lin Guanqing’s hand did her fingertips twitch.
Reaching out to take that piece of paper, a sharp sting flared across her palm, and a soft hiss escaped her lips.
Lowering her head, she noticed that the skin on her palm had been scraped raw at some point, blurring with blood and beginning to throb with pain.
Catching sight of this out of the corner of his eye and seeing her about to cover the wound with her sleeve, panic seized Lin Guanqing, causing him to throw caution to the wind and grab her hand instinctively. “Your hand is injured.”
The wound was not actually severe, consisting merely of abraded skin oozing a little blood. However, because the skin on the palm was more tender than elsewhere, it looked rather gruesome.
Pausing for a fraction of a second, Shen Xiu muttered, “It is nothing,” and tried to pull her hand back, but Lin Guanqing only tightened his grip.
Frowning at her with clear displeasure, he barked, “Do not move, or the wound will split open again.”
Realizing this injury must have been sustained earlier when she wrestled with that Feng Chengan, a wave of intense anger washed over Lin Guanqing. He had always detested men who bullied the weak, and had he known earlier, he would have given that fellow a sound beating. Unfortunately, the chaos of the moment had caused him to miss it.
Seeing her quiet, lowered gaze, Lin Guanqing paused, then unceremoniously dragged her straight indoors, pressing her down onto a chair before telling her:
“Sit properly. I will clean the wound for you. There are quite a few tiny stones embedded in it, but do not worry, it is not deep enough to leave a scar.”
Shen Xiu paused.
Lifting her gaze to look at him, her long eyelashes fluttered.
In the presence of an outsider, Shen Xiu’s emotions gradually settled, and that pair of eyes regained their usual calm and gentleness.
After a brief moment of quietude, she nodded softly and whispered, “Thank you.”